Residual Scarring 7/?
Author: natlski
Rating: PG for language (just to be on the safe side)
All disclaimers apply
White House- Office of the Chief of Staff
The frown on Leo McGarry's weathered face deepened as he read the single sheet of paper in his hand. He finished reading and looked up at Josh who was standing in front of his desk nervously shifting from one foot to the other. "Josh?"
The younger man kept his head down, unable to meet Leo's eyes.
"Is this for real?"
"I. I just think this is for the best." Josh stammered his voice soft and strained.
Leo studied his deputy; who appeared thin and pale. There were new worry lines creasing the once boyish face. Josh looked up briefly then dropped his gaze back to the carpet. The haunted look in his brown eyes startled Leo. He'd seen that look in those eyes before, but not for at least 30 years. Dropping the paper on his desk, he stood and walked to door. "Margaret, hold my calls please." He closed the door behind him and grasping Josh's elbow lightly, steered his deputy to the couch. "Josh, what's going on?"
Josh studied his hands. He turned his right hand palm up and stared at the scar. He could feel Leo's eyes studying him, but couldn't bring himself to meet his mentor's gaze. He wasn't sure if the heaviness in his chest was from the asthma and lingering bronchitis or from the intense guilt and failure he felt. Josh spoke with emotion choking his voice. "I'm sorry, Leo. I can't do my job. I'm only hurting the President."
The agony in Josh's voice tore at Leo's heart. He put a comforting arm around the younger man's shoulders. Josh initially stiffened at the touch, and then his shoulders sagged. Leo pulled him into a loose embrace. "I meant what I said before. You are vital to this administration. For God sake, Josh, you got him elected! I've fought for your job on several occasions and I'm going to fight for it now. Although, I must say, this is the first time I've had to fight you. Usually I'm trying to convince the President not to fire you."
Pulling away from Leo, Josh put his head in his hands. "I don't know how he found out, but he knew. I'm surprised he hasn't called a press briefing to announce it yet."
"What are you talking about?" Leo kept a hand on Josh's back, as if afraid that he would simply slip away if the contact was broken.
"Lillienfield. He knew. I don't know how he found out. He knows about Christmas. He knows." Josh fought the hysteria that threatened to overtake him. He drew a few deep breaths, bringing his breathing under control as the respiratory therapist had taught him.
Leo looked across the room, not really seeing the office, as he worked to put together what was being said and what course of action he was going to take. "I know you're not going to like this, but you have to trust me. Donna's going to take you home. I'm going to find out just what Senator Lillienfield knows. This is going to be straightened out. You're career is not over."
"Leo." Josh's tone was pleading.
"Josh, I asked you to trust me. You're sick, you're tired, and you're depressed. This year has been crap and you keep getting it thrown at you. I'm going to take care of this."
Leo went to the door. He stopped and turned back. Josh remained on the couch with his head in his hands. Leo shook his head and then slipped out of the office. "Margaret, I need Donna Moss and Sam Seaborn, immediately. Tell Donna to make sure Josh's schedule is clear the rest of the day." Margaret immediately picked up the phone with none of her usual questioning. Leo slipped back into his office; Josh hadn't moved.
'I'm so sorry, Noah.' Leo thought. 'I promised I'd take care of him, and I've tried. I'll fix this. He won't be destroyed by this.'
White House- Outer Office of the Chief of Staff
Donna Moss rushed into Margaret's work area, face flushed and eyes wide. "He did it, didn't he?" She asked with disbelief.
Sam looked away from Donna, his face drawn. "I think so."
Margaret stood and led the blond toward the closed office door. "He's in with Leo." She knocked on the door and opened it. "Leo, Donna's here." She stepped back and motioned for Donna to enter.
Donna brought a slender hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Josh sat hunched on the couch, head in hands and his entire body shaking. Leo sat beside him, a gentle hand on his back, speaking softly. He looked up when Donna came in.
"Donna, is everything taken care of for this afternoon?" Leo stood and moved across the room. Donna nodded, not taking her eyes off her boss. "Good." He turned slightly away from Josh and spoke softly to Donna. "Take him home. Stay with him. He needs to eat and sleep. See if you can get him to talk. Make an appointment with his therapist for tomorrow."
Donna's eyes flitted briefly to Leo then back to the man huddled on the couch. "I've already taken care of that, even before he came to see you."
"Okay then. Okay." Leo nodded and then turned to look at Josh. "I'll call you tonight." He walked slowly to the couch. "Josh," His voice was soft and gentle, as if speaking to a small, frightened child. "Donna's going to take you home. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise this will be taken care of."
Leo gently pulled Josh to his feet. Donna slipped a hand under his elbow and grimly led him out. The Deputy Chief of Staff kept his eyes down cast.
Sam looked up when the door opened and fought the urge to look away when Donna and Josh emerged. He watched them leave the office with a heavy heart.
"Sam." Leo appeared at the door and motioned for him to enter.
He rose with trepidation, fearing what he was about to be told. Sam entered the office and waited as Leo closed the door and walked over to lean against the large desk. He dropped wearily into a visitor's chair when his boss motioned for him to sit.
"Is Josh still."
"He tried to resign, but I'm not going to accept it. What happened with Lillienfield today?"
Sam closed his eyes. Relief washed over him at the news that his best friend was still employed, but it was quickly replaced by a sick feeling as the memory of the meeting with the Senator played in his mind.
"I didn't think it was possible for Lillienfield to be a bigger horse's ass, but he definitely proved me wrong today. I tell you Leo, I don't know how that man got elected."
"What happened?"
"Lillienfield sat there and launched a verbal assault on my best friend, who just stood there and took it."
"Josh thinks Lillienfield knows about his therapy and about last Christmas. What do you think?
Sam sighed and leveled his gaze at his boss. "I think Lillienfield is grasping at straws. I think he's trying to get back at us for the drug use thing. I think he's been re-reading his college general psych text book and is playing arm chair psychologist. And I think Josh is in trouble."
Leo pulled a hand over his mouth and looked up in silent prayer. "Yeah. We need to find out exactly what Lillienfield knows, and we need to find out this afternoon. I want answers by the time I call Donna this evening. Get C.J. in on this. We need to make sure Josh isn't crucified by the press over this. I don't trust Lillienfield."
"Yes Sir." Sam stood and started for the door. He stopped and turned back to his boss. His blue eyes bright, reflecting his conflicting emotions. "I don't know what was worse, Leo; listening to Lillienfield's attack, or watching Josh stand there and take it. He's not himself."
"I know, Sam, I know." Leo answered.
"I'll let you know when I've learned something." Sam turned and exited the office.
Leo looked around his suddenly empty office. The weight of the situation overwhelming him, he sank on the couch.
White House- Office of the Chief of Staff
The frown on Leo McGarry's weathered face deepened as he read the single sheet of paper in his hand. He finished reading and looked up at Josh who was standing in front of his desk nervously shifting from one foot to the other. "Josh?"
The younger man kept his head down, unable to meet Leo's eyes.
"Is this for real?"
"I. I just think this is for the best." Josh stammered his voice soft and strained.
Leo studied his deputy; who appeared thin and pale. There were new worry lines creasing the once boyish face. Josh looked up briefly then dropped his gaze back to the carpet. The haunted look in his brown eyes startled Leo. He'd seen that look in those eyes before, but not for at least 30 years. Dropping the paper on his desk, he stood and walked to door. "Margaret, hold my calls please." He closed the door behind him and grasping Josh's elbow lightly, steered his deputy to the couch. "Josh, what's going on?"
Josh studied his hands. He turned his right hand palm up and stared at the scar. He could feel Leo's eyes studying him, but couldn't bring himself to meet his mentor's gaze. He wasn't sure if the heaviness in his chest was from the asthma and lingering bronchitis or from the intense guilt and failure he felt. Josh spoke with emotion choking his voice. "I'm sorry, Leo. I can't do my job. I'm only hurting the President."
The agony in Josh's voice tore at Leo's heart. He put a comforting arm around the younger man's shoulders. Josh initially stiffened at the touch, and then his shoulders sagged. Leo pulled him into a loose embrace. "I meant what I said before. You are vital to this administration. For God sake, Josh, you got him elected! I've fought for your job on several occasions and I'm going to fight for it now. Although, I must say, this is the first time I've had to fight you. Usually I'm trying to convince the President not to fire you."
Pulling away from Leo, Josh put his head in his hands. "I don't know how he found out, but he knew. I'm surprised he hasn't called a press briefing to announce it yet."
"What are you talking about?" Leo kept a hand on Josh's back, as if afraid that he would simply slip away if the contact was broken.
"Lillienfield. He knew. I don't know how he found out. He knows about Christmas. He knows." Josh fought the hysteria that threatened to overtake him. He drew a few deep breaths, bringing his breathing under control as the respiratory therapist had taught him.
Leo looked across the room, not really seeing the office, as he worked to put together what was being said and what course of action he was going to take. "I know you're not going to like this, but you have to trust me. Donna's going to take you home. I'm going to find out just what Senator Lillienfield knows. This is going to be straightened out. You're career is not over."
"Leo." Josh's tone was pleading.
"Josh, I asked you to trust me. You're sick, you're tired, and you're depressed. This year has been crap and you keep getting it thrown at you. I'm going to take care of this."
Leo went to the door. He stopped and turned back. Josh remained on the couch with his head in his hands. Leo shook his head and then slipped out of the office. "Margaret, I need Donna Moss and Sam Seaborn, immediately. Tell Donna to make sure Josh's schedule is clear the rest of the day." Margaret immediately picked up the phone with none of her usual questioning. Leo slipped back into his office; Josh hadn't moved.
'I'm so sorry, Noah.' Leo thought. 'I promised I'd take care of him, and I've tried. I'll fix this. He won't be destroyed by this.'
White House- Outer Office of the Chief of Staff
Donna Moss rushed into Margaret's work area, face flushed and eyes wide. "He did it, didn't he?" She asked with disbelief.
Sam looked away from Donna, his face drawn. "I think so."
Margaret stood and led the blond toward the closed office door. "He's in with Leo." She knocked on the door and opened it. "Leo, Donna's here." She stepped back and motioned for Donna to enter.
Donna brought a slender hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Josh sat hunched on the couch, head in hands and his entire body shaking. Leo sat beside him, a gentle hand on his back, speaking softly. He looked up when Donna came in.
"Donna, is everything taken care of for this afternoon?" Leo stood and moved across the room. Donna nodded, not taking her eyes off her boss. "Good." He turned slightly away from Josh and spoke softly to Donna. "Take him home. Stay with him. He needs to eat and sleep. See if you can get him to talk. Make an appointment with his therapist for tomorrow."
Donna's eyes flitted briefly to Leo then back to the man huddled on the couch. "I've already taken care of that, even before he came to see you."
"Okay then. Okay." Leo nodded and then turned to look at Josh. "I'll call you tonight." He walked slowly to the couch. "Josh," His voice was soft and gentle, as if speaking to a small, frightened child. "Donna's going to take you home. I'll see you tomorrow. I promise this will be taken care of."
Leo gently pulled Josh to his feet. Donna slipped a hand under his elbow and grimly led him out. The Deputy Chief of Staff kept his eyes down cast.
Sam looked up when the door opened and fought the urge to look away when Donna and Josh emerged. He watched them leave the office with a heavy heart.
"Sam." Leo appeared at the door and motioned for him to enter.
He rose with trepidation, fearing what he was about to be told. Sam entered the office and waited as Leo closed the door and walked over to lean against the large desk. He dropped wearily into a visitor's chair when his boss motioned for him to sit.
"Is Josh still."
"He tried to resign, but I'm not going to accept it. What happened with Lillienfield today?"
Sam closed his eyes. Relief washed over him at the news that his best friend was still employed, but it was quickly replaced by a sick feeling as the memory of the meeting with the Senator played in his mind.
"I didn't think it was possible for Lillienfield to be a bigger horse's ass, but he definitely proved me wrong today. I tell you Leo, I don't know how that man got elected."
"What happened?"
"Lillienfield sat there and launched a verbal assault on my best friend, who just stood there and took it."
"Josh thinks Lillienfield knows about his therapy and about last Christmas. What do you think?
Sam sighed and leveled his gaze at his boss. "I think Lillienfield is grasping at straws. I think he's trying to get back at us for the drug use thing. I think he's been re-reading his college general psych text book and is playing arm chair psychologist. And I think Josh is in trouble."
Leo pulled a hand over his mouth and looked up in silent prayer. "Yeah. We need to find out exactly what Lillienfield knows, and we need to find out this afternoon. I want answers by the time I call Donna this evening. Get C.J. in on this. We need to make sure Josh isn't crucified by the press over this. I don't trust Lillienfield."
"Yes Sir." Sam stood and started for the door. He stopped and turned back to his boss. His blue eyes bright, reflecting his conflicting emotions. "I don't know what was worse, Leo; listening to Lillienfield's attack, or watching Josh stand there and take it. He's not himself."
"I know, Sam, I know." Leo answered.
"I'll let you know when I've learned something." Sam turned and exited the office.
Leo looked around his suddenly empty office. The weight of the situation overwhelming him, he sank on the couch.