Walking up to the side of her bed Carter couldn't help but gasp. She looked terrible. Her hair, well what was left of it lay strewn across the pillow. She had lost a lot of it due to her treatment. The nurse had replaced the oxygen mask with a nasal canula. Her cheeks and eyes seemed sunken into her face. Susan stood behind Carter. "John I can't do this. I just can't." She said before running from the room.
Out in the hallway Susan stood with her back against the wall breathing deeply. Tears streamed from her blue eyes landing in puddles on her sweater. She couldn't believe that it was her best friend lying in that bed. Her best friend was so full of life and always there. Why was this happening to her?
Back inside the room Abby began to stir but was very groggy. She took a few minutes to finally focus on Carter's face. "John." Her voice was croaky, her throat dry.
"It's all right baby, I'm here." Carter ran his hand over her face. He couldn't stop the tears from running down his face.
Abby shook her head. "Don't cry. Please." Abby turned to lie on her back. She looked in pain. "I'm fine really."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Carter tried to sound angry but he couldn't. Just looking at her lying there, he had so many emotions running round inside of him he couldn't explain.
"I can't talk about this now. I am so tired." Abby turned again back onto her side. "I get home tomorrow, come over around three and I'll try and explain. Please baby, don't cry."
John wiped away his tear. She had called him baby. He leaned over her and kissed her softly on the forehead as she drifted back off to sleep. He walked up to Hallie. "Hi, can you give me Abby's new address? She moved as well and I don't know where she lives."
Hallie handed him a sheet of paper with the desired information on it. "John, don't worry about her, honestly. The chemo really takes it out of her. She doesn't seem to take it well and no one has an explanation for it. She will be better tomorrow, promise."
"Thanks." He said. "For everything. I don't' have the words to express what I am feeling right now. I love her so much and have been worried silly for three whole months. Now to find her and find out everything that has happened to her, it kills me inside. You have looked after her so well. Thank you."
"No need to thank me John, she's done all the hard work." Hallie laid her hand on Carter's arm.
Carter left the room and found Susan sitting in the waiting area. "Susan are you all right?"
Susan sniffed back her tears. "I'm fine. I'm sorry about in there. I just couldn't stand back and watch her go through all this."
Carter took Susan into his arms. "I know it's difficult but we have to be there for her. She's going home tomorrow and I'm going across to speak to her and find out exactly what happened three months ago to make her walk out and leave us all."
They walked out the hospital together. "I have to get back. I'm due on in half an hour." Susan spoke as they walked into the brisk air.
"Me too. I just don't know if I can face everyone." Carter ran his hand through his hair. "They all deserve to know the truth but I don't know if I can really tell them anything right now."
"Well we don't tell them anything." Susan said plainly.
"I think it's going to be obvious that we know something." John replied, a hint of a laugh in his voice.
"What makes you say that?" Susan sounded confused.
"You really need to look in a mirror, Sus. I'm afraid to say that it's not a pretty sight." He laughed at Susan's tear streaked face and presumed that he didn't look any better.
"I see what you mean. Maybe a stop at your place first then." She smiled as they headed to Carter's jeep.