Each day that Aurora spent at the headquarters for the Order, she felt
began to relax in some ways. But at night, she became tense as it grew
closer to bedtime. She knew what happened at night and had no intention of
allowing anyone else to discover her secret.
The only solution she could devise was to ask for help from a person not likely to give it. One evening as a meeting of the Order was ending, she finally gathered her courage and swallowed her pride. Lupin and Sirius had already left the study when she walked over and grabbed Professor Snape's arm. He sneered at her with all the aloofness she remembered from her time at Hogwarts.
"Hmm," he remarked casually, "I wondered when you would work up the courage to actually speak to me. I differ from Black. I don't force someone to speak to me. I have my pride."
"Severus, please don't make this harder on me," Aurora pleaded. "I have my pride as well and I am swallowing a great deal of it right now."
"What do you want, Walsh?" he asked.
"I need something to make my dreams go away," she explained. "I don't want to have my nightmares here, with all of these people around. And I am trusting you to not tell anyone that I have made this request to you."
"What nightmares?" Snape inquired.
"Please," Aurora began, "I don't want to talk about them. I just need a potion for dreamless sleep."
"We have never been friends by any stretch of the imagination, Aurora," Snape said. "I wouldn't imagine that you would want to confide in me. However, I am not so dense that I can't imagine a list of things in your past that you would want to hide from in your dreams." He glanced at her to see her cast her eyes downward. "Potions can be addictive, Walsh. They can leave scars as bad as those memories."
With a nod of understanding, she smirked slightly. "It's ok. I haven't run for fifteen years. Why would I run now?" As he walked out of the room, he felt a stab of sympathy for Aurora. Sure, she was a Gryffindor. And she had seemed glued to the side of those infernal Marauders. Then, she had the ill taste to go and fall in love with Sirius Black. But, she had never taken an active part of their pranks toward him. Shaking his head in pity, he walked out of the study and to the front door. She did not deserve any of the pain and misery that had come her way. But then again, who really had?
Remus and Sirius noticed Aurora hanging back after the meeting. Both wondered why she would be so intent on talking with Snape. Neither dared mention to the other their thoughts. Remus could only imagine how much it must be eating at Sirius. He was sure that he saw a flash in Padfoot's eyes when Aurora hung back to talk to Snape.
"Wonder what she wants with him," Remus quietly ventured.
"I could care less," Sirius lied in response. "Who knows, who cares." But at the same time he was saying those words to Remus, a small voice was telling him in the back of his mind, you do.
As she walked upstairs to get ready for bed, she felt her heart start to beat a little faster. Each night had brought on the same anxiety as the one before. Same dreams, same memories, and the same fear raced through her mind. It's got to get better eventually, she thought to herself. But then a small voice answered her almost immediately: it hasn't gotten better in fifteen years, so why now?
The dreams had gotten worse since she had moved to her new quarters at 12, Grimmauld Place. For some reason, Sirius had reclaimed his old bedroom but not until he had cleaned up an old guestroom for her. Granted, her new room was much better than the old one. She had a lovely king size bed now instead of the cramped twin bed. The room was very feminine but she found herself wishing that she could sleep in the smaller bedroom. Sleeping in Sirius's old room had leant her some comfort in the beginning of all this. The dreams had stopped while she was staying in the other room. She now felt robbed of her security blanket.
Sighing softly, she opened the door to her room and walked inside. As she changed into her nightgown, she realized that the kids would all be leaving for the new term the day after tomorrow. She had yet to decide if she would stay at headquarters or go back to London for a while.
Actually, she just had to decide if she was brave enough to stay there with the kids gone. With less people around to distract Sirius, there was a greater chance she would finally be forced to stand in a room with him without anyone else present. She did not know if she could handle it. Aurora tied her hair back and crawled beneath the covers. Then she waited for the nightmares to begin again.
Downstairs the kids were working on their last bit of homework. Sirius, Remus, and Arthur sat nearby and once in a while, they would hear one of the kids call out a question.
"Professor Lupin?" Ron's voice rang out. "How do you handle tickleworms?"
"With dragon-hide gloves," Remus answered. One by one, the kids called out various questions to the two older men. As Mrs. Weasley walked down the stairs, she heard the commotion in the living room. She could sighed loudly upon realizing what the kids were doing to Remus and Sirius. They knew that they could appeal to Sirius (especially Sirius's) and Remus's ego. Sirius had always enjoyed showing how much he knew. But every now and then, he was a little naïve, such as right now when he was being used by three teenagers to get their homework done without doing any of the work themselves.
"Sirius, Remus," Molly Weasley called into the room, "you do realize what the kids are doing?"
"Uh no," Sirius said as he wrinkled his forehead in confusion.
"Well, let me explain it to you both. If you keep answering their questions they will not have to do any of their homework on their own," she explained calmly, as if it were to a three year old. "In other words, they are pulling one over on you." Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all lowered their gaze to the table as she spoke.
Ron was blushing furiously but Harry looked up to give her a grin. "Hermione, I expected more of at least you!" Molly exclaimed. She began her lecture just as the kids tuned her words out. After it seemed safe to assume that she was finished, the group began to dissemble and make its way out of the den. Each went about his way in order to get ready for bed. The halls echoed with the sound of teeth being brushed, showers being taken, and rooms being readied for night.
As the hours passed, the house became calm and quiet. The only sound now audible was that of soft snores. But a high pitched scream suddenly interrupted the calm. Startled by the first scream, Ron and Harry came to the door of their room and began to look around. The silence led them to believe that, perhaps, they had imagined the first scream. Then, several long screams punctuated the air. "It's coming from down the hall," Hermione whispered as she walked to the boys' door. Ginny followed suit, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley soon came out of their bedroom to see what the commotion was all about. It took a few moments for the group to comprehend that the screams were coming from Aurora's room. They tried to understand what she was saying but could only make out bits and pieces-
"Stop no.please..he can't..."
"Don't leave."
"It's not true."
"Oh please, Merlin, no.."
The barely audible screams were mixed with moans and sobs. As the group stood around dumbfounded, a door at the end of the room opened and Professor Lupin rushed down the hall. He burst into Aurora's room and began to shake her slightly. He sat down and pulled her to him trying to get her to wake up. The group moved closer to her doorway to see what was going on.
Aurora finally awoke and realized what had happened. She laid her head on Remus's chest and began to cry harder than Harry had ever seen anyone cry. "Remus, I see it every night," she told him as she choked back a sob. "They take him away every night. I can't bear it anymore."
As they moved closer in, they were suddenly pushed aside by Sirius, who was trying to tie his robe as he ran into the room. Pushing his long dark hair out of his eyes, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Aurora crying into Lupin's chest. Her words took hold of him as he realized what she was saying.
Slowly, as if in slow motion he crossed the room to where Remus sat rocking her slowly. He reached down and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. Remus looked up at him with a solemn look in his eyes. Sirius slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out and touched Aurora's wet cheek. Remus stood up and began to walk quietly towards the door.
"Hey Rori," he whispered softly. "Everything's okay. I'm here. They're not taking me away." She hiccuped another sob and he reached out to wipe away a stray tear. "Stop worrying." Lupin and Molly Weasley slowly herded everyone out of the doorway. There were protests from each of the girls but Molly hushed their arguments.
As the door shut, Sirius gave Aurora a small smile and offered out an outstretched arm. "You can borrow a shoulder to lean on if you'd like," he teased. She gave him a watery smile before laying her wet face against his strong shoulder. "You shouldn't worry about me, you know."
"I can't get away from those dreams," she whispered. "They have haunted me for fifteen years. I figure that they haunt me because I ran. Just like you always said, I ran when I got scared. I should have never been a Gryffindor. I'm not brave enough."
"Stop saying that," Sirius told her. "You survived. That is what we all must try to do right now." She nodded slowly. "I know things have been rocky between us. I have not been as kind to you as I should have."
"I understand," she began. "Its okay."
"If you want me to stay with you, I will," he offered. "I will just stay in here, nothing else. You can trust me. I don't want you to be afraid."
"Would you please?" Aurora asked. "I just want to be able to sleep."
"Come here," he told her as he reached out for her. He snuggled her close to him and tucked the covers around her. As her curly hair tickled his chin, he blew it out of his face. "Aurora, are you ever going to get rid of all this hair?"
"Of course, you really have no reason to make a comment like that now," Aurora replied. Your hair is nearly as long as mine now."
"Whatever," Sirius laughed. "Go to sleep before I toss you out of this bed." She laughed and snuggled into his chest. With a flick of his wand, he turned out the lights in the room and was soon greeted by the sound of her breathing. He could only lay there and soak up the feeling of her. He had not held anyone like this for fifteen years. The last decade and a half had hardened him but it had only made her more beautiful. As his body relaxed, he began to fight going to sleep. His mind would rather preserve this night and tattoo everything on his memory. At that moment when he knew he was about to fall asleep, he reached down and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. And he could have sworn that, even in the midst of her dreams, she smiled.
The only solution she could devise was to ask for help from a person not likely to give it. One evening as a meeting of the Order was ending, she finally gathered her courage and swallowed her pride. Lupin and Sirius had already left the study when she walked over and grabbed Professor Snape's arm. He sneered at her with all the aloofness she remembered from her time at Hogwarts.
"Hmm," he remarked casually, "I wondered when you would work up the courage to actually speak to me. I differ from Black. I don't force someone to speak to me. I have my pride."
"Severus, please don't make this harder on me," Aurora pleaded. "I have my pride as well and I am swallowing a great deal of it right now."
"What do you want, Walsh?" he asked.
"I need something to make my dreams go away," she explained. "I don't want to have my nightmares here, with all of these people around. And I am trusting you to not tell anyone that I have made this request to you."
"What nightmares?" Snape inquired.
"Please," Aurora began, "I don't want to talk about them. I just need a potion for dreamless sleep."
"We have never been friends by any stretch of the imagination, Aurora," Snape said. "I wouldn't imagine that you would want to confide in me. However, I am not so dense that I can't imagine a list of things in your past that you would want to hide from in your dreams." He glanced at her to see her cast her eyes downward. "Potions can be addictive, Walsh. They can leave scars as bad as those memories."
With a nod of understanding, she smirked slightly. "It's ok. I haven't run for fifteen years. Why would I run now?" As he walked out of the room, he felt a stab of sympathy for Aurora. Sure, she was a Gryffindor. And she had seemed glued to the side of those infernal Marauders. Then, she had the ill taste to go and fall in love with Sirius Black. But, she had never taken an active part of their pranks toward him. Shaking his head in pity, he walked out of the study and to the front door. She did not deserve any of the pain and misery that had come her way. But then again, who really had?
Remus and Sirius noticed Aurora hanging back after the meeting. Both wondered why she would be so intent on talking with Snape. Neither dared mention to the other their thoughts. Remus could only imagine how much it must be eating at Sirius. He was sure that he saw a flash in Padfoot's eyes when Aurora hung back to talk to Snape.
"Wonder what she wants with him," Remus quietly ventured.
"I could care less," Sirius lied in response. "Who knows, who cares." But at the same time he was saying those words to Remus, a small voice was telling him in the back of his mind, you do.
As she walked upstairs to get ready for bed, she felt her heart start to beat a little faster. Each night had brought on the same anxiety as the one before. Same dreams, same memories, and the same fear raced through her mind. It's got to get better eventually, she thought to herself. But then a small voice answered her almost immediately: it hasn't gotten better in fifteen years, so why now?
The dreams had gotten worse since she had moved to her new quarters at 12, Grimmauld Place. For some reason, Sirius had reclaimed his old bedroom but not until he had cleaned up an old guestroom for her. Granted, her new room was much better than the old one. She had a lovely king size bed now instead of the cramped twin bed. The room was very feminine but she found herself wishing that she could sleep in the smaller bedroom. Sleeping in Sirius's old room had leant her some comfort in the beginning of all this. The dreams had stopped while she was staying in the other room. She now felt robbed of her security blanket.
Sighing softly, she opened the door to her room and walked inside. As she changed into her nightgown, she realized that the kids would all be leaving for the new term the day after tomorrow. She had yet to decide if she would stay at headquarters or go back to London for a while.
Actually, she just had to decide if she was brave enough to stay there with the kids gone. With less people around to distract Sirius, there was a greater chance she would finally be forced to stand in a room with him without anyone else present. She did not know if she could handle it. Aurora tied her hair back and crawled beneath the covers. Then she waited for the nightmares to begin again.
Downstairs the kids were working on their last bit of homework. Sirius, Remus, and Arthur sat nearby and once in a while, they would hear one of the kids call out a question.
"Professor Lupin?" Ron's voice rang out. "How do you handle tickleworms?"
"With dragon-hide gloves," Remus answered. One by one, the kids called out various questions to the two older men. As Mrs. Weasley walked down the stairs, she heard the commotion in the living room. She could sighed loudly upon realizing what the kids were doing to Remus and Sirius. They knew that they could appeal to Sirius (especially Sirius's) and Remus's ego. Sirius had always enjoyed showing how much he knew. But every now and then, he was a little naïve, such as right now when he was being used by three teenagers to get their homework done without doing any of the work themselves.
"Sirius, Remus," Molly Weasley called into the room, "you do realize what the kids are doing?"
"Uh no," Sirius said as he wrinkled his forehead in confusion.
"Well, let me explain it to you both. If you keep answering their questions they will not have to do any of their homework on their own," she explained calmly, as if it were to a three year old. "In other words, they are pulling one over on you." Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all lowered their gaze to the table as she spoke.
Ron was blushing furiously but Harry looked up to give her a grin. "Hermione, I expected more of at least you!" Molly exclaimed. She began her lecture just as the kids tuned her words out. After it seemed safe to assume that she was finished, the group began to dissemble and make its way out of the den. Each went about his way in order to get ready for bed. The halls echoed with the sound of teeth being brushed, showers being taken, and rooms being readied for night.
As the hours passed, the house became calm and quiet. The only sound now audible was that of soft snores. But a high pitched scream suddenly interrupted the calm. Startled by the first scream, Ron and Harry came to the door of their room and began to look around. The silence led them to believe that, perhaps, they had imagined the first scream. Then, several long screams punctuated the air. "It's coming from down the hall," Hermione whispered as she walked to the boys' door. Ginny followed suit, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley soon came out of their bedroom to see what the commotion was all about. It took a few moments for the group to comprehend that the screams were coming from Aurora's room. They tried to understand what she was saying but could only make out bits and pieces-
"Stop no.please..he can't..."
"Don't leave."
"It's not true."
"Oh please, Merlin, no.."
The barely audible screams were mixed with moans and sobs. As the group stood around dumbfounded, a door at the end of the room opened and Professor Lupin rushed down the hall. He burst into Aurora's room and began to shake her slightly. He sat down and pulled her to him trying to get her to wake up. The group moved closer to her doorway to see what was going on.
Aurora finally awoke and realized what had happened. She laid her head on Remus's chest and began to cry harder than Harry had ever seen anyone cry. "Remus, I see it every night," she told him as she choked back a sob. "They take him away every night. I can't bear it anymore."
As they moved closer in, they were suddenly pushed aside by Sirius, who was trying to tie his robe as he ran into the room. Pushing his long dark hair out of his eyes, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Aurora crying into Lupin's chest. Her words took hold of him as he realized what she was saying.
Slowly, as if in slow motion he crossed the room to where Remus sat rocking her slowly. He reached down and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. Remus looked up at him with a solemn look in his eyes. Sirius slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out and touched Aurora's wet cheek. Remus stood up and began to walk quietly towards the door.
"Hey Rori," he whispered softly. "Everything's okay. I'm here. They're not taking me away." She hiccuped another sob and he reached out to wipe away a stray tear. "Stop worrying." Lupin and Molly Weasley slowly herded everyone out of the doorway. There were protests from each of the girls but Molly hushed their arguments.
As the door shut, Sirius gave Aurora a small smile and offered out an outstretched arm. "You can borrow a shoulder to lean on if you'd like," he teased. She gave him a watery smile before laying her wet face against his strong shoulder. "You shouldn't worry about me, you know."
"I can't get away from those dreams," she whispered. "They have haunted me for fifteen years. I figure that they haunt me because I ran. Just like you always said, I ran when I got scared. I should have never been a Gryffindor. I'm not brave enough."
"Stop saying that," Sirius told her. "You survived. That is what we all must try to do right now." She nodded slowly. "I know things have been rocky between us. I have not been as kind to you as I should have."
"I understand," she began. "Its okay."
"If you want me to stay with you, I will," he offered. "I will just stay in here, nothing else. You can trust me. I don't want you to be afraid."
"Would you please?" Aurora asked. "I just want to be able to sleep."
"Come here," he told her as he reached out for her. He snuggled her close to him and tucked the covers around her. As her curly hair tickled his chin, he blew it out of his face. "Aurora, are you ever going to get rid of all this hair?"
"Of course, you really have no reason to make a comment like that now," Aurora replied. Your hair is nearly as long as mine now."
"Whatever," Sirius laughed. "Go to sleep before I toss you out of this bed." She laughed and snuggled into his chest. With a flick of his wand, he turned out the lights in the room and was soon greeted by the sound of her breathing. He could only lay there and soak up the feeling of her. He had not held anyone like this for fifteen years. The last decade and a half had hardened him but it had only made her more beautiful. As his body relaxed, he began to fight going to sleep. His mind would rather preserve this night and tattoo everything on his memory. At that moment when he knew he was about to fall asleep, he reached down and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. And he could have sworn that, even in the midst of her dreams, she smiled.