(A/N: Sorry for the lack in updates on this story. I have been having some problems lately, but I'm getting over them and have found some time to work on this story. I hope you all had a great holiday season and what-not. So, now with out further adue...onto the story! ~Lisha)
Chapter Ten:
~Downstairs~
"How is she?" Matt asked as Jessi walked into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch.
"She's very confused, and right now getting in her pj's." Jessi said with a chuckle as Matt slid and arm around her.
"But she's gonna come down right?" Jeff asked from his place in the doorway.
"I think so. Jeff, she's not at full strength so go easy on her." Matt said with a stern look.
"Whatever Matt." Jeff mumbled as he walked out of the room. I was walking down the stairs as he walked past them. I was trying my best not to be noticed but, I just had to sneeze. Damn nose. Jeff looked in my direction and stood, as if frozen. I let out a light chuckle at how he looked and then continued on my way down the stairs.
"Lets talk." I said in a soft tone as I took his hand and led him out to the back porch. I sat down on a step close to the bottom and stuck my feet into the cool night sand. Jeff sat down next to me and waited, unsure of what to do or say.
"I'm so sorry Lisha. I truly never meant to hurt you the way that I did." Jeff said, breaking the silence.
"I'm sorry to. I'm sorry for being so nÃeve and thinking I could trust you." I spat out at him.
"But you still can trust me..." Jeff stated but his voice drifted off.
"I can't Jeff. See, you lied to me, and slept with me, and I let you take something so precious from me. That meant so much and then you had to lie!" I said my voice rising with the unshed anger and pain.
"But you lied to! Your sick, and you never thought once about telling me that, did you?!" Jeff exclaimed as he stood up and began pacing. I closed my eyes, to fight the tears, but it wasn't working.
"I...I just didn't know how to tell you. You know, before I met you I was ready to die. I had come to terms with it and stopped with the treatments. Then you walked into my life, and I'm not so sure anymore." I said as I re-opened my eyes, letting a few tears fall.
"So, you can start the treatments again and you can fight this...we can fight this!" Jeff said trying his best to reasure me.
"No Jeff, I can't. My condition has worsen and they can't do anything for me. All I can do is live my life as best as I can. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but if that is how you feel then leave now. I can't just have you walking in and out of my life for the few last moments I have." I said turning my face away from his.
"I...I..." Jeff stammered. I turned my gaze away from him and started down the porch steps. Jeff just stood motionless, unsure of what to do, with his head telling him one thing and his heart another. I slowly walked off down the beach in my own world, watching the waves once more. They were the only constant, yet forever changing thing in my life. They resembled my life perfectly, as I sat down on the cool, damp sand. Always coming back, but a different wave each time. Like me, I was the one to always be there for others, yet I was different each time. Always evolving, looking at things differently each time. Then life through me a curve ball, cancer. Scared to the core for the first time in my life, not knowing how to deal, Jessi was right there with me. From from the first years of our lives, she'd alway been there for me and I for her.
"How can she be so calm about all of this? How does she manage to keep herself together, when I can barely keep my self together." I said out loud.
"Looks can be decieving." Came a male voice from behind me. I turned slightly to see Matt standing there. He moved beside me and sat down.
"Why are you out here?" I questioned.
"I figured you could use someone to talk to, specially after the talk you had with Jeff." Matt said in his deep southern accent. I sat there looking at him, afraid to open my mouth, more afraid of what would come out.
"Sweetie, you can talk to me you know." Matt said as he slipped his arm around my shoulders pulling my side to his.
"I'm so scared Matt." I breathed out as the tears fully took me over.
"I know sweetie. Let it all out." Matt whispered in my ear as he held my closely.
Chapter Ten:
~Downstairs~
"How is she?" Matt asked as Jessi walked into the living room and sat down next to him on the couch.
"She's very confused, and right now getting in her pj's." Jessi said with a chuckle as Matt slid and arm around her.
"But she's gonna come down right?" Jeff asked from his place in the doorway.
"I think so. Jeff, she's not at full strength so go easy on her." Matt said with a stern look.
"Whatever Matt." Jeff mumbled as he walked out of the room. I was walking down the stairs as he walked past them. I was trying my best not to be noticed but, I just had to sneeze. Damn nose. Jeff looked in my direction and stood, as if frozen. I let out a light chuckle at how he looked and then continued on my way down the stairs.
"Lets talk." I said in a soft tone as I took his hand and led him out to the back porch. I sat down on a step close to the bottom and stuck my feet into the cool night sand. Jeff sat down next to me and waited, unsure of what to do or say.
"I'm so sorry Lisha. I truly never meant to hurt you the way that I did." Jeff said, breaking the silence.
"I'm sorry to. I'm sorry for being so nÃeve and thinking I could trust you." I spat out at him.
"But you still can trust me..." Jeff stated but his voice drifted off.
"I can't Jeff. See, you lied to me, and slept with me, and I let you take something so precious from me. That meant so much and then you had to lie!" I said my voice rising with the unshed anger and pain.
"But you lied to! Your sick, and you never thought once about telling me that, did you?!" Jeff exclaimed as he stood up and began pacing. I closed my eyes, to fight the tears, but it wasn't working.
"I...I just didn't know how to tell you. You know, before I met you I was ready to die. I had come to terms with it and stopped with the treatments. Then you walked into my life, and I'm not so sure anymore." I said as I re-opened my eyes, letting a few tears fall.
"So, you can start the treatments again and you can fight this...we can fight this!" Jeff said trying his best to reasure me.
"No Jeff, I can't. My condition has worsen and they can't do anything for me. All I can do is live my life as best as I can. I understand if you want nothing to do with me, but if that is how you feel then leave now. I can't just have you walking in and out of my life for the few last moments I have." I said turning my face away from his.
"I...I..." Jeff stammered. I turned my gaze away from him and started down the porch steps. Jeff just stood motionless, unsure of what to do, with his head telling him one thing and his heart another. I slowly walked off down the beach in my own world, watching the waves once more. They were the only constant, yet forever changing thing in my life. They resembled my life perfectly, as I sat down on the cool, damp sand. Always coming back, but a different wave each time. Like me, I was the one to always be there for others, yet I was different each time. Always evolving, looking at things differently each time. Then life through me a curve ball, cancer. Scared to the core for the first time in my life, not knowing how to deal, Jessi was right there with me. From from the first years of our lives, she'd alway been there for me and I for her.
"How can she be so calm about all of this? How does she manage to keep herself together, when I can barely keep my self together." I said out loud.
"Looks can be decieving." Came a male voice from behind me. I turned slightly to see Matt standing there. He moved beside me and sat down.
"Why are you out here?" I questioned.
"I figured you could use someone to talk to, specially after the talk you had with Jeff." Matt said in his deep southern accent. I sat there looking at him, afraid to open my mouth, more afraid of what would come out.
"Sweetie, you can talk to me you know." Matt said as he slipped his arm around my shoulders pulling my side to his.
"I'm so scared Matt." I breathed out as the tears fully took me over.
"I know sweetie. Let it all out." Matt whispered in my ear as he held my closely.