Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic
belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm
claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters,
the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all
bothered about. "Things Left Behind" is a Sequel to "Unbalanced" and "There
is no Peace but Passion". They are only connected through time; one can
definitely be read without the other.
Things Left Behind
Chapter 8 - The Ease of Understanding
They slept, separate sides of the hold. Or at least, the attempt was made by both. Carth could not sleep. For a time he made a decent go of it trying to at least lay still. But muscles bruised didn't quiet long enough for him to be comfortable. He was certain Revan had done some Jedi trick, meditation or something, to close her eyes and even her breathing so quickly. It would have been nice if she'd shared.
And now, where he'd felt nothing but pure satisfaction and joy, seeing her alive and knowing that everything was finally over, there was unease. Unease because it had seemed like it would be so easy and somehow it was more difficult than ever.
He stood up. It was too dark. Too silent. And he was starting to think of things that he'd rather not. Best to focus on what could be done. He stepped as stealthily as he could and made his way from the vessel. He did not have any light source, but the moons above were full and half. He could see well enough. Well enough to do a bit of scouting. Find some water, maybe. If he was lucky, he'd run across some things they could use.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Revan woke up to the sound of metal against metal, grinding. She groaned, hand going to her head. "What-?"
She moved to sit and nearly lost herself to the nausea. Enough of that. The Force was smooth under her fingers again. Silken and easy to move. She moved the warmth to her chest, allowing it to spread and heal little things she'd forgotten about. Forgotten until waking had brought them to her attention.
The relief was just as tangible as the pain was. She stood and stretched, toes flexing as she went up and then shoulders rolling backwards. The sound of things being moved, thudding, drew her. But set center in the room was an oblong coconut, halved with knife stuck center. It was resting on an upended cargo container and was clearly intended for her. She didn't want to accept, but, in the light of day, no longer in pain, it seemed childish to refuse it. She walked over and used the knife to begin to cut. Apart from the surprise that the thing was rather soft, including the husk, and that it tasted like - well, like apples with mint, it was simply another meal.
Finished, she stood and began to track down the sound. Light streamed ethereally, through the wholes in the hull and as she entered the charred bridge, she stopped. Carth was kneeling, reaching into panels that lay just beyond charred skeletal feet. Light skimmed the top of his head and illuminated the dust and ash that had been kicked up.
"What are you doing?" Revan asked.
Carth grunted. "Trying to see if I can salvage some communications. The fleet is up there. We just need to let them know we're alive and down here."
His answer was straight and to the point.
She brushed her hair back from her face. "Well, they will know we're alive anyway. And I have faith that Bastila will be able to find us." She shrugged, "I don't know our coordinates, but it wouldn't take long for her to focus in on our general area and then follow me from there."
"Wonderful."
Revan's eyes widened at the caustic tone. "What's wrong?"
Carth drew back and glared at her. Circles lined his eyes, ash settled into lines that spoke eloquently of age and weariness where normally there was no testimony. His hands held wire, most of it burnt except for a few inches. He tossed it to the side where more wiring, each a piece offering only a little worth salvaging, had been set aside.
"Nothing. Nothing. Just-" He gestured, "I've spent this entire morning breaking my back piecing together from this wreck what I need to try and get a signal out, and you just walk in with this answer." He pointed a finger at him, "And don't. Yeah, I'm glad that Bastila will find us. Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to finish this. But it would have been nice to know earlier."
"You didn't ask earlier." Revan protested. Guilt and honest sympathy made her wince. "Here-" She'd broken herself of the need to gesture overtly, limiting to simple motions of her fingers. An arch made with her index finger sent waves of healing over to Carth. He straightened slowly as she smoothed the hurt away like water to ripples set in sand. "Better."
Carth looked at her, brown eyes dark. He didn't say a word, but slowly stood. It was only once he'd reached full height and had wiped his arm across his brow, smearing his face worse with the ash that he spoke, words carefully even, "Yes. Thank you."
Revan was not getting a good feeling from this. She shifted back a moment, then raised her chin, "Alright, Carth. What's wrong?"
"Why are you asking me this?"
She shook her head, "Because you obviously are upset about something."
"Me? I'm just trying to keep up with your moods, Revan. Sorry if I'm not quite quick enough." Carth moved to shoulder by her.
"Hey!" She snapped, "And don't call me that!"
He half turned, "What?"
She stepped after him. A rumble came distantly from overhead, but she did not hear it. "Revan. It's not my name." Her eyes flared, "I didn't do those things, Carth. I don't remember doing any of it, but you're still holding me accountable for them, aren't you?"
"So you aren't Revan. Fine. If that's the take you want to have on it, that's fine with me-"
"It's not a tak-!"
"But I'm not holding you accountable for anything that you haven't done." Carth finished.
She hissed in a breath and closed her mouth. She licked her lips and took a breath, "I didn't kill Dustil." She enunciated clearly.
And it was Carth's turn to look surprised. His eyes widened and then became shuttered, "I didn't say you did."
"Yes. You did." Revan grated, "Quite loudly. You told me that it was my fault for not stopping him, for not interrupting him. I could talk a Hutt out of credits but I allowed this horrible thing that tore you up to happen because I'm such a horrible person."
". I don't want to talk about this." Carth said flatly.
"No. I'd imagine you don't." Revan's voice was just as flat, "You just want to tell me crash stories, and tell me how it's a perfect time to - to start, what, Carth? To start. acting like a couple? For you to start acting like you care about me again? It's not that easy!"
And now she shouldered by him, anger in every line of her body. He watched her go and the sound of the Hawk's engines drowned out his words.
"No. It never is."
Things Left Behind
Chapter 8 - The Ease of Understanding
They slept, separate sides of the hold. Or at least, the attempt was made by both. Carth could not sleep. For a time he made a decent go of it trying to at least lay still. But muscles bruised didn't quiet long enough for him to be comfortable. He was certain Revan had done some Jedi trick, meditation or something, to close her eyes and even her breathing so quickly. It would have been nice if she'd shared.
And now, where he'd felt nothing but pure satisfaction and joy, seeing her alive and knowing that everything was finally over, there was unease. Unease because it had seemed like it would be so easy and somehow it was more difficult than ever.
He stood up. It was too dark. Too silent. And he was starting to think of things that he'd rather not. Best to focus on what could be done. He stepped as stealthily as he could and made his way from the vessel. He did not have any light source, but the moons above were full and half. He could see well enough. Well enough to do a bit of scouting. Find some water, maybe. If he was lucky, he'd run across some things they could use.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Revan woke up to the sound of metal against metal, grinding. She groaned, hand going to her head. "What-?"
She moved to sit and nearly lost herself to the nausea. Enough of that. The Force was smooth under her fingers again. Silken and easy to move. She moved the warmth to her chest, allowing it to spread and heal little things she'd forgotten about. Forgotten until waking had brought them to her attention.
The relief was just as tangible as the pain was. She stood and stretched, toes flexing as she went up and then shoulders rolling backwards. The sound of things being moved, thudding, drew her. But set center in the room was an oblong coconut, halved with knife stuck center. It was resting on an upended cargo container and was clearly intended for her. She didn't want to accept, but, in the light of day, no longer in pain, it seemed childish to refuse it. She walked over and used the knife to begin to cut. Apart from the surprise that the thing was rather soft, including the husk, and that it tasted like - well, like apples with mint, it was simply another meal.
Finished, she stood and began to track down the sound. Light streamed ethereally, through the wholes in the hull and as she entered the charred bridge, she stopped. Carth was kneeling, reaching into panels that lay just beyond charred skeletal feet. Light skimmed the top of his head and illuminated the dust and ash that had been kicked up.
"What are you doing?" Revan asked.
Carth grunted. "Trying to see if I can salvage some communications. The fleet is up there. We just need to let them know we're alive and down here."
His answer was straight and to the point.
She brushed her hair back from her face. "Well, they will know we're alive anyway. And I have faith that Bastila will be able to find us." She shrugged, "I don't know our coordinates, but it wouldn't take long for her to focus in on our general area and then follow me from there."
"Wonderful."
Revan's eyes widened at the caustic tone. "What's wrong?"
Carth drew back and glared at her. Circles lined his eyes, ash settled into lines that spoke eloquently of age and weariness where normally there was no testimony. His hands held wire, most of it burnt except for a few inches. He tossed it to the side where more wiring, each a piece offering only a little worth salvaging, had been set aside.
"Nothing. Nothing. Just-" He gestured, "I've spent this entire morning breaking my back piecing together from this wreck what I need to try and get a signal out, and you just walk in with this answer." He pointed a finger at him, "And don't. Yeah, I'm glad that Bastila will find us. Yeah, I'm glad I don't have to finish this. But it would have been nice to know earlier."
"You didn't ask earlier." Revan protested. Guilt and honest sympathy made her wince. "Here-" She'd broken herself of the need to gesture overtly, limiting to simple motions of her fingers. An arch made with her index finger sent waves of healing over to Carth. He straightened slowly as she smoothed the hurt away like water to ripples set in sand. "Better."
Carth looked at her, brown eyes dark. He didn't say a word, but slowly stood. It was only once he'd reached full height and had wiped his arm across his brow, smearing his face worse with the ash that he spoke, words carefully even, "Yes. Thank you."
Revan was not getting a good feeling from this. She shifted back a moment, then raised her chin, "Alright, Carth. What's wrong?"
"Why are you asking me this?"
She shook her head, "Because you obviously are upset about something."
"Me? I'm just trying to keep up with your moods, Revan. Sorry if I'm not quite quick enough." Carth moved to shoulder by her.
"Hey!" She snapped, "And don't call me that!"
He half turned, "What?"
She stepped after him. A rumble came distantly from overhead, but she did not hear it. "Revan. It's not my name." Her eyes flared, "I didn't do those things, Carth. I don't remember doing any of it, but you're still holding me accountable for them, aren't you?"
"So you aren't Revan. Fine. If that's the take you want to have on it, that's fine with me-"
"It's not a tak-!"
"But I'm not holding you accountable for anything that you haven't done." Carth finished.
She hissed in a breath and closed her mouth. She licked her lips and took a breath, "I didn't kill Dustil." She enunciated clearly.
And it was Carth's turn to look surprised. His eyes widened and then became shuttered, "I didn't say you did."
"Yes. You did." Revan grated, "Quite loudly. You told me that it was my fault for not stopping him, for not interrupting him. I could talk a Hutt out of credits but I allowed this horrible thing that tore you up to happen because I'm such a horrible person."
". I don't want to talk about this." Carth said flatly.
"No. I'd imagine you don't." Revan's voice was just as flat, "You just want to tell me crash stories, and tell me how it's a perfect time to - to start, what, Carth? To start. acting like a couple? For you to start acting like you care about me again? It's not that easy!"
And now she shouldered by him, anger in every line of her body. He watched her go and the sound of the Hawk's engines drowned out his words.
"No. It never is."