Standard Disclaimer: Neither Star Wars nor Knights of the Old Republic
belong to me. All are George Lucas' and Lucas arts, etc. The only thing I'm
claiming is the impressions of the main characters and, in later chapters,
the A/U plot. Which, believe me, isn't all that original to get all
bothered about. "Things Left Behind" is a Sequel to "Unbalanced" and "There
is no Peace but Passion". They are only connected through time; one can
definitely be read without the other.
Things Left Behind - Confessions
The room was cold. Steps echoed and thoughts rebounded upon their owners while metal walls watched. It was the perfect place to think and the worst place to be alone.
"I need you to listen to me," he said slowly, "Even though I don't - I don't guess I'm going to make much sense." He stopped there for a moment, "You said I was blaming you. I wasn't blaming you. Not . . . not even for Dustil. It was just . . . I know that you won't understand but there comes a point when all you are used to doing is losing. Losing things you love, losing things you believe in and losing pieces of yourself every time . . . every time you are wrong. I still don't know why," he swallowed and his eyes dropped, "I don't know why you didn't say something. You stood there and you must have seen what was happening. I just don't know why you didn't stop him from firing. Didn't stop my son - " and his voice broke on the word, broke on the image of his child. "- my son. . ."
His hand rose to his face, rubbing at his eyes as if to expunge the image of a toddler calling his name. It stayed there for a moment but when he lowered it, his expression was more composed. His voice was steadier. "Why didn't you do a hundred things. I still don't know. And . I still love you. How can that be? I look at you - and I.. Can you even imagine how it /feels/ to say.." He raised his head. His eyes were flat. "I look at you and I forget about how losing them hurts. I forget. . and that can't be right." His voice quickened, rose in the indignation of his own emotions, "It can't be right that I forget them! That I forget what losing them means!" His breathing was rapid and he forced it back. His lips pressed tight and his voice quieted again, "You talk about blame.... It's not for you, Revan. It's for me."
Carth's voice trailed off, eaten by the silence of the empty cargo bay. And the wall he'd spoken to had little comment, good or bad, about the pain it had just been privy to.
He sighed, squared his shoulders as if for a battle he did not think he'd win, and left the bay to search for Revan.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Akasha15 - Thanks! I figured I'd follow up for Christmas day :) It does seem like lots of females don't like Bastila. I've noticed higher rates of liking when there is a male writing the story. Makes sense. I definitely didn't like her at first, but in actually trying to think like her? You have to have some sympathy for the woman. She's going to have a hard time of it. And yep. Angst away. Hope I didn't spread it too thick. Warning though, guys. The end will not be neatly wrapped in a bow.
AnimeNinja - *laughs* Really glad you approve. I've got the whole thing written through the end. Just hesitating because I think the end needs tweaking and I've not got much of the time. But I do believe that two more chapters should be good, eh? Though.. there /is/ only one chapter left to the story after this.
Things Left Behind - Confessions
The room was cold. Steps echoed and thoughts rebounded upon their owners while metal walls watched. It was the perfect place to think and the worst place to be alone.
"I need you to listen to me," he said slowly, "Even though I don't - I don't guess I'm going to make much sense." He stopped there for a moment, "You said I was blaming you. I wasn't blaming you. Not . . . not even for Dustil. It was just . . . I know that you won't understand but there comes a point when all you are used to doing is losing. Losing things you love, losing things you believe in and losing pieces of yourself every time . . . every time you are wrong. I still don't know why," he swallowed and his eyes dropped, "I don't know why you didn't say something. You stood there and you must have seen what was happening. I just don't know why you didn't stop him from firing. Didn't stop my son - " and his voice broke on the word, broke on the image of his child. "- my son. . ."
His hand rose to his face, rubbing at his eyes as if to expunge the image of a toddler calling his name. It stayed there for a moment but when he lowered it, his expression was more composed. His voice was steadier. "Why didn't you do a hundred things. I still don't know. And . I still love you. How can that be? I look at you - and I.. Can you even imagine how it /feels/ to say.." He raised his head. His eyes were flat. "I look at you and I forget about how losing them hurts. I forget. . and that can't be right." His voice quickened, rose in the indignation of his own emotions, "It can't be right that I forget them! That I forget what losing them means!" His breathing was rapid and he forced it back. His lips pressed tight and his voice quieted again, "You talk about blame.... It's not for you, Revan. It's for me."
Carth's voice trailed off, eaten by the silence of the empty cargo bay. And the wall he'd spoken to had little comment, good or bad, about the pain it had just been privy to.
He sighed, squared his shoulders as if for a battle he did not think he'd win, and left the bay to search for Revan.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Akasha15 - Thanks! I figured I'd follow up for Christmas day :) It does seem like lots of females don't like Bastila. I've noticed higher rates of liking when there is a male writing the story. Makes sense. I definitely didn't like her at first, but in actually trying to think like her? You have to have some sympathy for the woman. She's going to have a hard time of it. And yep. Angst away. Hope I didn't spread it too thick. Warning though, guys. The end will not be neatly wrapped in a bow.
AnimeNinja - *laughs* Really glad you approve. I've got the whole thing written through the end. Just hesitating because I think the end needs tweaking and I've not got much of the time. But I do believe that two more chapters should be good, eh? Though.. there /is/ only one chapter left to the story after this.