Chapter Thirteen:
~1 Month Later~
I sat out on the back porch, watching the sun rise in peace. Jeff and I had become much closer and were doing great. He and Matt came down every weekend and as often as they could. Jessi and Matt were not admitting to being a couple and are quite serious about eachother. Just the thought of those two together brings a smile to my face. Matt is just what Jessi needs. Someone to look out for her when she's not, which is always. Jessi has always been the one to look out for others, but not for herself. She's very unselfish in that way. I admire her strength, she's a very special person, and very deserving of Matt's attention and love. That's right, love. I was there when they first told eachother they loved them, but they didn't know I was there. I was on the stairs, listening in. They make me happy, just the sight of them.
Jeff on the other hand is something totally different. He makes me smile so much that sometimes I think my cheeks will never return to their normal status. We have nothing but fun when we're together. Which only makes this harder on him, I can see it in his eyes. He wont admit it, but I can just tell. We don't do much talking, but a lot of listening and just doing things. I know it's his way of getting his mind off of it, keeping himself to busy to notice, but I do.
I look up as Jessi walks out and sits next to me, placing her hand on leg.
"It's almost time." I just about whispered. She just nodded her head. She, too, didn't want to admit it. I couldn't blame her, I would do the same if the roles were switched.
"Is Matt coming tomorrow?" I questioned, slightly changing the subject but not really.
"Yes, he and Jeff will be here. Are you planning another fun filled weekend for you and Jeff?" She asked, trying not to let this all get to her. It was killing me.
"Trying to." I lied, knowing I wouldn't be there. I stood up and looked down at her.
"I'm going inside to my room. I need to do a few things to get ready for the boys this weekend. I'll be in my room if you need me ok hun?" I questioned. She looked up into my brown eyes and smiled.
"Ok. I think I'm gonna stay out here a little longer and soak up the sun a little." Jessi said as he reached for my hand, taking it into her's.
"Ok...I love you." I said trying harf not to let my voice crack with emotion.
"I love you too." She managed to speak out. I let go of her hand and walked into the kitchen, stopping as I heard her sobs begin. Blinking back my tears I walked to my room shuting the door behind me. I walked over to the bed and pulled out a notebook from behind my pillow and sat down on the floor with it. I had been writing random things in it since we had arrived in the house 2 months ago. I opened the book to Jessi's page. Each of them had a page for just them, one for Jessi, one for Matt, and one for Jeff. Each page contained ideas for a letter I knew that I would have to eventually write to them....my good-bye letter.
"It's time." I said quietly to myself. I pulld out a fresh piece of paper and began to write Jessi's letter.
Jessi-
Hey you! I guess by the time you read this...I'll be gone. But I want to let you know something. I love you! I can't even begin to describe what you are to me. Your a best friend, a companion through the hard and good times, and mostly your a sister. You're my sister. I know these past few months must have been extremely hard on you, and I'm sorry. No one should ever have to go through what you did for me. You where there from the very begining. From the very first day your mom changed my diaper, to our first loose tooth, to our first crushes, first heart breaks, a lot of firsts. I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for you. You inspire me in so many ways, and I admire you so much. You have to be the strongest person I have ever and will ever know. I want you to keep your head up, and keep looking to the sky, cause that's where I will be. I found this poem a little while ago, and I wanted to pass it on to you.
Only You
With you, it's all about
voiceless communication-
always knowing what to say,
but never actually having to say it.
When no one seems to be listening,
you hear.
When I hurt but don't show it,
you know.
When I turn away to hide my tears,
you see.
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone,
you understand.
You know everything there is to know about me.
You know what worries me,
what keeps me up at night,
and what shames me so badly
that I can't share it with anyone.
Most importantly, though,
none of those things bother you.
ou've restored my faith in people
and proved that there is a thing
called true friendship.
You mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do if something happned to you. Matt's a good guy, something that I know you need. Don't go through this alone, let him help you heal what I have done. I know that you are a mess right now, but always know that I love you and that I love you so much. One day we'll be reunited, but until then, I'll be in your heart.
Love Always,
Alisha
I pulled out an envelope and put the letter in it, sealing it shut and tucking itto the notebook as I wiped away my tears.
~1 Month Later~
I sat out on the back porch, watching the sun rise in peace. Jeff and I had become much closer and were doing great. He and Matt came down every weekend and as often as they could. Jessi and Matt were not admitting to being a couple and are quite serious about eachother. Just the thought of those two together brings a smile to my face. Matt is just what Jessi needs. Someone to look out for her when she's not, which is always. Jessi has always been the one to look out for others, but not for herself. She's very unselfish in that way. I admire her strength, she's a very special person, and very deserving of Matt's attention and love. That's right, love. I was there when they first told eachother they loved them, but they didn't know I was there. I was on the stairs, listening in. They make me happy, just the sight of them.
Jeff on the other hand is something totally different. He makes me smile so much that sometimes I think my cheeks will never return to their normal status. We have nothing but fun when we're together. Which only makes this harder on him, I can see it in his eyes. He wont admit it, but I can just tell. We don't do much talking, but a lot of listening and just doing things. I know it's his way of getting his mind off of it, keeping himself to busy to notice, but I do.
I look up as Jessi walks out and sits next to me, placing her hand on leg.
"It's almost time." I just about whispered. She just nodded her head. She, too, didn't want to admit it. I couldn't blame her, I would do the same if the roles were switched.
"Is Matt coming tomorrow?" I questioned, slightly changing the subject but not really.
"Yes, he and Jeff will be here. Are you planning another fun filled weekend for you and Jeff?" She asked, trying not to let this all get to her. It was killing me.
"Trying to." I lied, knowing I wouldn't be there. I stood up and looked down at her.
"I'm going inside to my room. I need to do a few things to get ready for the boys this weekend. I'll be in my room if you need me ok hun?" I questioned. She looked up into my brown eyes and smiled.
"Ok. I think I'm gonna stay out here a little longer and soak up the sun a little." Jessi said as he reached for my hand, taking it into her's.
"Ok...I love you." I said trying harf not to let my voice crack with emotion.
"I love you too." She managed to speak out. I let go of her hand and walked into the kitchen, stopping as I heard her sobs begin. Blinking back my tears I walked to my room shuting the door behind me. I walked over to the bed and pulled out a notebook from behind my pillow and sat down on the floor with it. I had been writing random things in it since we had arrived in the house 2 months ago. I opened the book to Jessi's page. Each of them had a page for just them, one for Jessi, one for Matt, and one for Jeff. Each page contained ideas for a letter I knew that I would have to eventually write to them....my good-bye letter.
"It's time." I said quietly to myself. I pulld out a fresh piece of paper and began to write Jessi's letter.
Jessi-
Hey you! I guess by the time you read this...I'll be gone. But I want to let you know something. I love you! I can't even begin to describe what you are to me. Your a best friend, a companion through the hard and good times, and mostly your a sister. You're my sister. I know these past few months must have been extremely hard on you, and I'm sorry. No one should ever have to go through what you did for me. You where there from the very begining. From the very first day your mom changed my diaper, to our first loose tooth, to our first crushes, first heart breaks, a lot of firsts. I wouldn't be the person I am if it weren't for you. You inspire me in so many ways, and I admire you so much. You have to be the strongest person I have ever and will ever know. I want you to keep your head up, and keep looking to the sky, cause that's where I will be. I found this poem a little while ago, and I wanted to pass it on to you.
Only You
With you, it's all about
voiceless communication-
always knowing what to say,
but never actually having to say it.
When no one seems to be listening,
you hear.
When I hurt but don't show it,
you know.
When I turn away to hide my tears,
you see.
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone,
you understand.
You know everything there is to know about me.
You know what worries me,
what keeps me up at night,
and what shames me so badly
that I can't share it with anyone.
Most importantly, though,
none of those things bother you.
ou've restored my faith in people
and proved that there is a thing
called true friendship.
You mean the world to me, and I don't know what I would do if something happned to you. Matt's a good guy, something that I know you need. Don't go through this alone, let him help you heal what I have done. I know that you are a mess right now, but always know that I love you and that I love you so much. One day we'll be reunited, but until then, I'll be in your heart.
Love Always,
Alisha
I pulled out an envelope and put the letter in it, sealing it shut and tucking itto the notebook as I wiped away my tears.