Chapter Fourteen:
I pulled out two more blank pieces of paper for the last two letters I had to write. Matt and Jeff's. I sighed as I decided to save Jeff's for last.
Matt-
Hey buddy! There are just a few things I thought that I would share with you. Jessi being one of them. She's a great girl huh? Yea. I love her to pieces, and I can tell that you do to. I know that my death is really hard on her, so I want you to take good care of her for me. Do you think you could do that for me? I knew thatI could count on you. In the short time that we've come to know eachother, you have proven to me that you are a great guy and worthy of a lot of great things. It's hard to write these letters to you all, but it's a sense of closure for me, and it should be for you all too. Your destin for bigger and greater things Matt, I can just tell. I know in my heart that you and Jessi will have one of hose fairy tale relationships, and it brings a smile to my face. I wrote Jessi a poem that I had found, and I found this for you.
' One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and questioned the Lord about it. 'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.'
The Lord replied, 'My precious, precious child. I lov you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.' '
Whenever you think that your alone, you're not. You have God and me looking out for you. Remember that. You are all Jessi has left now, you need to be the one to carry her through her trials and suffering. I know that you will. Thank you for everything that you have done for her and I over the past few months, and thank you for being here for Jessi. It really does mean a lot to me. Stay strong old man.
Love Always,
Alisha
I folded up the letter and put it in an envelope of its on and put it in the notebook with Jessi's. 'Once more...' I thought to myself as I took a deep breath, bringing my pen down to the paper. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Jeff-
Hi. So much I could say to you, but I can't get it all straight! You are the only person who has ever made me feel this way...so alive. I want to thank you for being here for me, for staying by my side after all that we went through, just to get here. I still think it wasn't worth you throwing away what you had with Beth, but what does it matter anymore? I just wanted to tell you a few things, but I just can't seem to get them out. I was listening to the radio one day when I heard this song, and it sums up everything I want and need to say to you. So, here goes.
When I'm Gone
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...
Maybe I'm just blind...
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...
When your education x-ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Now roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Maybe I'm just blind...
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...
Love me when I'm gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
I love you Jeff, and I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to tell you that. I regret every minute we had together and I didn't tell you that. I'm so sorry for not being able to be there with you now. I'm so sorry. I just hope you can forgive me..and love me while I'm gone.
Love Always,
Alisha
I finally let my tears fall freely as I folded up the letter and sealed it in the envelope.
I pulled out two more blank pieces of paper for the last two letters I had to write. Matt and Jeff's. I sighed as I decided to save Jeff's for last.
Matt-
Hey buddy! There are just a few things I thought that I would share with you. Jessi being one of them. She's a great girl huh? Yea. I love her to pieces, and I can tell that you do to. I know that my death is really hard on her, so I want you to take good care of her for me. Do you think you could do that for me? I knew thatI could count on you. In the short time that we've come to know eachother, you have proven to me that you are a great guy and worthy of a lot of great things. It's hard to write these letters to you all, but it's a sense of closure for me, and it should be for you all too. Your destin for bigger and greater things Matt, I can just tell. I know in my heart that you and Jessi will have one of hose fairy tale relationships, and it brings a smile to my face. I wrote Jessi a poem that I had found, and I found this for you.
' One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and questioned the Lord about it. 'Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.'
The Lord replied, 'My precious, precious child. I lov you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.' '
Whenever you think that your alone, you're not. You have God and me looking out for you. Remember that. You are all Jessi has left now, you need to be the one to carry her through her trials and suffering. I know that you will. Thank you for everything that you have done for her and I over the past few months, and thank you for being here for Jessi. It really does mean a lot to me. Stay strong old man.
Love Always,
Alisha
I folded up the letter and put it in an envelope of its on and put it in the notebook with Jessi's. 'Once more...' I thought to myself as I took a deep breath, bringing my pen down to the paper. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.
Jeff-
Hi. So much I could say to you, but I can't get it all straight! You are the only person who has ever made me feel this way...so alive. I want to thank you for being here for me, for staying by my side after all that we went through, just to get here. I still think it wasn't worth you throwing away what you had with Beth, but what does it matter anymore? I just wanted to tell you a few things, but I just can't seem to get them out. I was listening to the radio one day when I heard this song, and it sums up everything I want and need to say to you. So, here goes.
When I'm Gone
There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...
Maybe I'm just blind...
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...
When your education x-ray
Cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Now roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Maybe I'm just blind...
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
But you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...
Love me when I'm gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
When I'm Gone
I love you Jeff, and I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to tell you that. I regret every minute we had together and I didn't tell you that. I'm so sorry for not being able to be there with you now. I'm so sorry. I just hope you can forgive me..and love me while I'm gone.
Love Always,
Alisha
I finally let my tears fall freely as I folded up the letter and sealed it in the envelope.