Chapter Eighteen:
~Later On~
I walked out of the bathroom freshly showered and dressed in a white sundress. I left my hair down, letting it do it's own thing. I pulled out a blanket from the closet and went out on the back porch to watch the sunset. Matt, Jeff and Jessi were all in the livingroom watching 'Finding Nemo' and laughing their asses off, but I didn't feel much like laughing. I felt like all the energy had been sucked out of my body, but I thought nothing of it telling myself that it was because I spent most of the day playing in the water with Jeff. But deep down, I knew that wasn't the reason why I felt that way. I just wanted to be like everyone else and deny it. So, I was. I watched the sun set, setting the slowly turning night sky on fire with color. I watched the sunset every night, and every night it was a different display of colors and clouds, but still all the same beautiful. I knew that this was my very last sunset, soaking up all that I could before heading inside. I left the blanket out there, hoping to see tomorrow's sunrise.
"There you are. We were looking for you." Jeff said as I came into the kitchen from outside.
"How is the movie?" I asked changing the subject off from me.
"It's good, in a kiddy way." Jeff said.
"Well duh! I mean come one genius! It's a kids movie." I playfully struck back.
"Haha, you think your so funny." Jeff said as he put his arm around my shoulders.
"That's because I am." I joked as we walked into the livingroom.
~3:30 AM~
I woke up feeling sick, and very hot. I quietly got up and out of bed, making my way to the bathroom, quiet as not to wake anyone up. Once in there I threw up, blood again, and did it as quietly as I could. Once my body had calmed down, I went back to my room taking out my notebook. It was time, I could just tell. I took out Jeff's letter, placing it on my pillow next to his head, leaning in to kiss his cheek softly. I let out a sigh as he stirred lightly and fell back into his deep sleep. I walked down the hall to Jessi's room. I walked in slowly to see them both asleep in eachother's arms, so peaceful. I stifled a cry as I walked further into the room. I pulled out their letters and placed them on the dresser infront of the bed, standing up so they ouldn't miss them. I just wanted them to get the letters, so I could really say goodbye. I crept over to the bed on Matt's side first, kissing his cheek lightly, adn moved over to Jessi's side. I couldn't do it. i just couldn't bring myself to kiss her and say goodbye. This wasn't happening. I wasn't really leaving everything behind, mainly my sister! My twin! My other half! My soul! But I was. I wiped at my tears as I leaned over and kissed her forhead.
"I love you sis." I whispered to her. A single tear slipped down my cheek and feel onto hers. I pulled back afraid I had waken her, but I didn't. I slipped out of the room and out to the back porch, to my spot on the swing. I sat down, curling my legs up underneath me as I pulled the blanket up and over me. I sat in silence listening to the waves crashing on the shore and thinking back on all the times I shared with Matt, Jeff, and specially Jessi. I brought us here, I brought her here, here to Matt. I did that, and I was thankful. People say that things happen for a reason, my cancer lead us here to Myrtle Beach, lead Jessi here to the arms of the man she's destin to spend the rest of her life with. Me. I'm the reason people always talk about, and as I sat there thinking back on my life, a smile crept onto my face. Me, I as a good thing, and I realised this now as the sun began to rise. A new day. My day. I sat there on that swing, watching the sunrise cascading color after color across the sky and over the ocean.
"Thank you" I whispered out as I closed my eyes. Ending this part of my life with a beautiful sunrise.
~Later On~
I walked out of the bathroom freshly showered and dressed in a white sundress. I left my hair down, letting it do it's own thing. I pulled out a blanket from the closet and went out on the back porch to watch the sunset. Matt, Jeff and Jessi were all in the livingroom watching 'Finding Nemo' and laughing their asses off, but I didn't feel much like laughing. I felt like all the energy had been sucked out of my body, but I thought nothing of it telling myself that it was because I spent most of the day playing in the water with Jeff. But deep down, I knew that wasn't the reason why I felt that way. I just wanted to be like everyone else and deny it. So, I was. I watched the sun set, setting the slowly turning night sky on fire with color. I watched the sunset every night, and every night it was a different display of colors and clouds, but still all the same beautiful. I knew that this was my very last sunset, soaking up all that I could before heading inside. I left the blanket out there, hoping to see tomorrow's sunrise.
"There you are. We were looking for you." Jeff said as I came into the kitchen from outside.
"How is the movie?" I asked changing the subject off from me.
"It's good, in a kiddy way." Jeff said.
"Well duh! I mean come one genius! It's a kids movie." I playfully struck back.
"Haha, you think your so funny." Jeff said as he put his arm around my shoulders.
"That's because I am." I joked as we walked into the livingroom.
~3:30 AM~
I woke up feeling sick, and very hot. I quietly got up and out of bed, making my way to the bathroom, quiet as not to wake anyone up. Once in there I threw up, blood again, and did it as quietly as I could. Once my body had calmed down, I went back to my room taking out my notebook. It was time, I could just tell. I took out Jeff's letter, placing it on my pillow next to his head, leaning in to kiss his cheek softly. I let out a sigh as he stirred lightly and fell back into his deep sleep. I walked down the hall to Jessi's room. I walked in slowly to see them both asleep in eachother's arms, so peaceful. I stifled a cry as I walked further into the room. I pulled out their letters and placed them on the dresser infront of the bed, standing up so they ouldn't miss them. I just wanted them to get the letters, so I could really say goodbye. I crept over to the bed on Matt's side first, kissing his cheek lightly, adn moved over to Jessi's side. I couldn't do it. i just couldn't bring myself to kiss her and say goodbye. This wasn't happening. I wasn't really leaving everything behind, mainly my sister! My twin! My other half! My soul! But I was. I wiped at my tears as I leaned over and kissed her forhead.
"I love you sis." I whispered to her. A single tear slipped down my cheek and feel onto hers. I pulled back afraid I had waken her, but I didn't. I slipped out of the room and out to the back porch, to my spot on the swing. I sat down, curling my legs up underneath me as I pulled the blanket up and over me. I sat in silence listening to the waves crashing on the shore and thinking back on all the times I shared with Matt, Jeff, and specially Jessi. I brought us here, I brought her here, here to Matt. I did that, and I was thankful. People say that things happen for a reason, my cancer lead us here to Myrtle Beach, lead Jessi here to the arms of the man she's destin to spend the rest of her life with. Me. I'm the reason people always talk about, and as I sat there thinking back on my life, a smile crept onto my face. Me, I as a good thing, and I realised this now as the sun began to rise. A new day. My day. I sat there on that swing, watching the sunrise cascading color after color across the sky and over the ocean.
"Thank you" I whispered out as I closed my eyes. Ending this part of my life with a beautiful sunrise.