SR: It's the chapter of angst! Beware! First off, this chapter is
dedicated to Tsumi, the VERY kind reviewer that has listened to my pleading
and has been god-like enough to start her own Tasuki/Ryoko ficcie! Her,
like my, Document manager is being a retard, unfortunately. She did post it
on her website, however. The address is:
Please read the first chapter and send lots of encouraging e-mails! Also, arigatou Tsumi-chan for dealing with me having Hotohori-sama so badly hurt.
Tsumi: Aww..... it was okay I guess.
Hotohori: Hai. I'm just fine now. Just a little sore.
SR: That's the spirit, Hotohori-sama! * slaps him, accidentally, right where Oni Ryoko's claws dug in*
Hotohori: Ouch! * falls down*
Tsumi: HOTOHORI-SAMA!!! * growls* SessyRyo.....
SR: Oops.... hehe... Uh, ON WITH THE FIC! Just a note, I decided not to bleep this chapter, now, I HAVE TO RUN!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5: Regret and Redemption
She ran. She ran like she had never run before. As Ryoko raced through the forest, all she could think of was / How could I? How could I?! All I ever wanted was to be friends with them, and now I.. I../ She felt tears burning in her eyes, but didn't bother to brush them away. She continued to run, oblivious to the branches of trees and bushes that clawed at her, tearing her clothes and leaving small cuts on her arms and face.
/ It all happened so fast! / She shook her head in disbelief as she continued to dash forwards, mindless to where she was going or when she would get there. /It all happened so fast! We were just laughing and joking minutes before!/
("Tasuki! You stole my dumplings, didn't you?" Ryoko turned in mock anger at the fanged seishi. "Yah. So what if I did?" He grinned, and the two adorable fangs popped out below his upper lip. Ryoko gave a similar grin, and tackled him playfully. They stretched each other's cheeks, both reaching for the delicious little delicacies.)
/ I can never forgive myself!/ She looked too late, tripped over a large rock, and fell. She fell silently, and the rock jabbed into her side painfully. It drew blood. / This is NOTHING compared to the pain I caused them. The pain I..... I caused them./ She cried worse than she ever had, laying on the forest floor, racked with silent sobs. /I don't deserve to live! Tasuki and the others should have just left me to die! They shouldn't care so much! Not after I.... I..../ She curled up into a ball and sobbed some more. / God. I-I can't let myself live with this!/ She brought her hands to her face, but almost instantly put them down in horror. Red blood stained them a dark crimson color, and it was slowly drying. / It's...... It's their blood!/
The pure, harsh reality crashed into her like a train. She suddenly couldn't breath. Ryoko hacked and choked until her throat was harsh and raw. She coughed one more time and relaxed. / I think..... I won't move ever again./ ************************************************************************
"Ryoko!" Miaka had seen the look of pure horror and guilt that flashed across the ex-space pirate's face. But when she got up and ran....... "Ryoko!" she repeated, and took off before anyone could stop her. Taka reached after her. "Miaka!"
"Let her go. I think this may be for the best." Taka looked back as Chichiri, mask less, put a hand on his shoulder.
"But-but Tenkou could....!"
"Ryoko would sense it. There is very little doubt in my mind that she would help."
"Ryo....ko..."
They turned to see Tasuki. He sat there, lifeless, tears flowing in streams. His eyes were empty, his breathing unstable. / Why did she.....? I-I know! I know what it feels like! To...... to hurt your friends.... To feel like you can never be forgiven!/ "But..... I was," he whispered. ************************************************************************
Miaka ran in the direction that she had seen Ryoko run. The miko didn't know if she would find her or not, but she had to try. Her school shoes thudded dully against the ground in a similar rhythm, and she turned her head in every direction every now and then, looking for spiky light blue hair and amber cat eyes. Being her somewhat clumsy self, Miaka nearly tripped sometimes, squealing quietly but then righting herself again.
After 10 minutes or so, she heard something. It was sobbing. "Ryoko?" Miaka followed it for another 3 minutes, and found who she was looking for.
Ryoko was sitting against a cheery tree, sobbing heartbrokenly. In her hands, was clutched a sharpened piece of obsidian. The deadly point was pointed right at the demon's heart.
"Ryoko! Don't!"
Ryoko looked up, her eyes looked so sad it broke the schoolgirl's heart.
"What? What do you want, Suzaku no Miko?"
"D-don't....." She ran over and grabbed the piece of rock. "Don't do this!"
"Go away Miaka. I need to do this."
"No you don't! We don't want you to do this! Tasuki doesn't want you to do this! He cares about you! Like me and Tamahome..."
"You and Tamahome?" Ryoko got up, eyes flowing with sorrow and blazing with the anger born from it. "You and Tamahome.....!" She clenched her fists. "You and Tamahome had it easy! You just fell in love and then boom! You had everything easy! You loved him, and he actually loved you back! He stuck by you! Even when you didn't deserve it!" She cried more, but hoisted Miaka up by he collar. "Why is it you always get the happy ending?!" she demanded, trembling now more in grief than fury. "Why is it?! Is it just because you're the Suzaku no Miko? You get the happy ending just because Suzaku chose you?! You didn't even deserve to be chosen! You..... you.....! You always had it so easy! You though you had suffered from heartbreak, but you didn't! Your "sadness" only lasted for a little bit and then you were with him again! You didn't.... you didn't have to see that look of sadness directed at you! You didn't do something like that! You didn't have to see that look..... in his eyes!!" Ryoko was no trembling but shaking, and Miaka took her wrath with silence and teary eyes. "You didn't do that right after you thought..... That you could start over! You didn't give your heart to someone, and then have it given back to you in shreds! Tamahome never just let you pour your soul out, and then just choose someone else!!" She lowered the priestess, sobbing. "You bitch..... you sorry bitch....." It took Miaka a moment to realize that Ryoko was not as much swearing at her, but at herself. "Ryoko.... is that what happened to you? What happened, in our world? What made you want to stay here? Tamaho- I mean Taka and I were wondering, but didn't want to ask. Is that it? You loved someone and were rejected?" Ryoko only sniffed, and buried her face in her hands. Miaka continued. "But does it really matter now? I mean, every one of us cares about you! It takes a lot of bravery to do what you did! We don't blame you for anything! We know it wasn't your fault." "Every one of us cares about you! Chiriko told me he thought of you as a big sister! Doesn't that mean something?! Are you really just going to kill yourself?! Don't you see?! We all care about you! I think Tasuki loves you!!" "W-what?" Ryoko looked up. "T-tasuki.....?" Two last tears squeezed out of Ryoko's eyes. "He.....?" She shook her head, and got up. / Maybe.... things will be..../ Ryoko's teary smile dropped as she sensed something. She looked, but she already knew what it was. It was her death. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SR: Gomen!! It was short!! I know!!
Tsumi: * pant pant* Geez you run fast.
SR: * rubs head* Obviously not fast enough. Anyway, I apologize again for it being so short, but I only have a few more minutes online. Well, I'm moving tomorrow. ;_; * sobs* So, after I get off the computer will be packed up. I MAY be able to update from my aunt's house in New Mexico, but I don't know for sure. If not, I see you sometime late June! Ja ne!
SR's friends: We gotta handcuff her to campus! She's not going ANYWHERE!
R: ^_^;; I'm gonna miss you guys! ;_;
Please read the first chapter and send lots of encouraging e-mails! Also, arigatou Tsumi-chan for dealing with me having Hotohori-sama so badly hurt.
Tsumi: Aww..... it was okay I guess.
Hotohori: Hai. I'm just fine now. Just a little sore.
SR: That's the spirit, Hotohori-sama! * slaps him, accidentally, right where Oni Ryoko's claws dug in*
Hotohori: Ouch! * falls down*
Tsumi: HOTOHORI-SAMA!!! * growls* SessyRyo.....
SR: Oops.... hehe... Uh, ON WITH THE FIC! Just a note, I decided not to bleep this chapter, now, I HAVE TO RUN!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5: Regret and Redemption
She ran. She ran like she had never run before. As Ryoko raced through the forest, all she could think of was / How could I? How could I?! All I ever wanted was to be friends with them, and now I.. I../ She felt tears burning in her eyes, but didn't bother to brush them away. She continued to run, oblivious to the branches of trees and bushes that clawed at her, tearing her clothes and leaving small cuts on her arms and face.
/ It all happened so fast! / She shook her head in disbelief as she continued to dash forwards, mindless to where she was going or when she would get there. /It all happened so fast! We were just laughing and joking minutes before!/
("Tasuki! You stole my dumplings, didn't you?" Ryoko turned in mock anger at the fanged seishi. "Yah. So what if I did?" He grinned, and the two adorable fangs popped out below his upper lip. Ryoko gave a similar grin, and tackled him playfully. They stretched each other's cheeks, both reaching for the delicious little delicacies.)
/ I can never forgive myself!/ She looked too late, tripped over a large rock, and fell. She fell silently, and the rock jabbed into her side painfully. It drew blood. / This is NOTHING compared to the pain I caused them. The pain I..... I caused them./ She cried worse than she ever had, laying on the forest floor, racked with silent sobs. /I don't deserve to live! Tasuki and the others should have just left me to die! They shouldn't care so much! Not after I.... I..../ She curled up into a ball and sobbed some more. / God. I-I can't let myself live with this!/ She brought her hands to her face, but almost instantly put them down in horror. Red blood stained them a dark crimson color, and it was slowly drying. / It's...... It's their blood!/
The pure, harsh reality crashed into her like a train. She suddenly couldn't breath. Ryoko hacked and choked until her throat was harsh and raw. She coughed one more time and relaxed. / I think..... I won't move ever again./ ************************************************************************
"Ryoko!" Miaka had seen the look of pure horror and guilt that flashed across the ex-space pirate's face. But when she got up and ran....... "Ryoko!" she repeated, and took off before anyone could stop her. Taka reached after her. "Miaka!"
"Let her go. I think this may be for the best." Taka looked back as Chichiri, mask less, put a hand on his shoulder.
"But-but Tenkou could....!"
"Ryoko would sense it. There is very little doubt in my mind that she would help."
"Ryo....ko..."
They turned to see Tasuki. He sat there, lifeless, tears flowing in streams. His eyes were empty, his breathing unstable. / Why did she.....? I-I know! I know what it feels like! To...... to hurt your friends.... To feel like you can never be forgiven!/ "But..... I was," he whispered. ************************************************************************
Miaka ran in the direction that she had seen Ryoko run. The miko didn't know if she would find her or not, but she had to try. Her school shoes thudded dully against the ground in a similar rhythm, and she turned her head in every direction every now and then, looking for spiky light blue hair and amber cat eyes. Being her somewhat clumsy self, Miaka nearly tripped sometimes, squealing quietly but then righting herself again.
After 10 minutes or so, she heard something. It was sobbing. "Ryoko?" Miaka followed it for another 3 minutes, and found who she was looking for.
Ryoko was sitting against a cheery tree, sobbing heartbrokenly. In her hands, was clutched a sharpened piece of obsidian. The deadly point was pointed right at the demon's heart.
"Ryoko! Don't!"
Ryoko looked up, her eyes looked so sad it broke the schoolgirl's heart.
"What? What do you want, Suzaku no Miko?"
"D-don't....." She ran over and grabbed the piece of rock. "Don't do this!"
"Go away Miaka. I need to do this."
"No you don't! We don't want you to do this! Tasuki doesn't want you to do this! He cares about you! Like me and Tamahome..."
"You and Tamahome?" Ryoko got up, eyes flowing with sorrow and blazing with the anger born from it. "You and Tamahome.....!" She clenched her fists. "You and Tamahome had it easy! You just fell in love and then boom! You had everything easy! You loved him, and he actually loved you back! He stuck by you! Even when you didn't deserve it!" She cried more, but hoisted Miaka up by he collar. "Why is it you always get the happy ending?!" she demanded, trembling now more in grief than fury. "Why is it?! Is it just because you're the Suzaku no Miko? You get the happy ending just because Suzaku chose you?! You didn't even deserve to be chosen! You..... you.....! You always had it so easy! You though you had suffered from heartbreak, but you didn't! Your "sadness" only lasted for a little bit and then you were with him again! You didn't.... you didn't have to see that look of sadness directed at you! You didn't do something like that! You didn't have to see that look..... in his eyes!!" Ryoko was no trembling but shaking, and Miaka took her wrath with silence and teary eyes. "You didn't do that right after you thought..... That you could start over! You didn't give your heart to someone, and then have it given back to you in shreds! Tamahome never just let you pour your soul out, and then just choose someone else!!" She lowered the priestess, sobbing. "You bitch..... you sorry bitch....." It took Miaka a moment to realize that Ryoko was not as much swearing at her, but at herself. "Ryoko.... is that what happened to you? What happened, in our world? What made you want to stay here? Tamaho- I mean Taka and I were wondering, but didn't want to ask. Is that it? You loved someone and were rejected?" Ryoko only sniffed, and buried her face in her hands. Miaka continued. "But does it really matter now? I mean, every one of us cares about you! It takes a lot of bravery to do what you did! We don't blame you for anything! We know it wasn't your fault." "Every one of us cares about you! Chiriko told me he thought of you as a big sister! Doesn't that mean something?! Are you really just going to kill yourself?! Don't you see?! We all care about you! I think Tasuki loves you!!" "W-what?" Ryoko looked up. "T-tasuki.....?" Two last tears squeezed out of Ryoko's eyes. "He.....?" She shook her head, and got up. / Maybe.... things will be..../ Ryoko's teary smile dropped as she sensed something. She looked, but she already knew what it was. It was her death. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SR: Gomen!! It was short!! I know!!
Tsumi: * pant pant* Geez you run fast.
SR: * rubs head* Obviously not fast enough. Anyway, I apologize again for it being so short, but I only have a few more minutes online. Well, I'm moving tomorrow. ;_; * sobs* So, after I get off the computer will be packed up. I MAY be able to update from my aunt's house in New Mexico, but I don't know for sure. If not, I see you sometime late June! Ja ne!
SR's friends: We gotta handcuff her to campus! She's not going ANYWHERE!
R: ^_^;; I'm gonna miss you guys! ;_;