When I woke up the next morning, the sky was an ugly slate color and I could smell the rain coming. Not exactly a promising day, but I had other things to worry about. Things more important than the weather. Mostly I was thinking about what would happen when Chris, Cassie, and I got on the bus in front of my house, and how Chris and I'd be treated when we got to the high school.
I'd never been tormented myself. I was too quiet, too reserved to take up any notice at all, much less negative notice. I had a small group of girl friends. None of us were really close, but we ate lunch together every day, and talked a little bit. I was doing all right, but I knew, in the pit of my stomach where all bad things are realized, that things were going to change and not for the better. Maddie and I had been welcomed to a small taste of that at the diner a few nights before. The town wasn't looking happily upon the people who'd kept the Chambers around.
It seems to me Castle Rock considered Chris and Cassie the way they'd consider stray dogs. Ugly, underfed stray dogs that no one wanted. They'd throw rocks at them until they left town, or died, and most people were hoping they'd just shrivel up and die, but they'd accept Togus too. But Maddie and I, we interfered with their plans. They were, as that old truck driver had said, free and clear of the Chambers. But too bad, they were back, and guess who's fault it was?
I shivered involuntarily and shut my window with a bang. I took a quick shower, had a bowl of oatmeal, and then, it being only six o' clock, I waited on the couch in the living room, my legs drawn up to my chest, frowning in worry while I considered all of the hateful things that might be said.
Cassie came down at six fifteen. I walked her into the kitchen and got her started with a bowl of oatmeal. This time she really ate, almost two and a half bowls plus a couple of glasses of juice to wash it all down with.
"Betsy," She said quietly, looking very seriously at her second empty bowl. Her eyebrows were all wrinkled up the way a sixty year old woman's might be, and she talked about like we were both forty. "Betsy, do you think people will leave me and Chris alone now that we're here?"
I sat down across from her, wanting to tell her of course they would but the words didn't come up. The lies I was going to give her were caught in my throat, and instead I found myself saying, "I don't know Cassie. Probably not."
She looked disappointed, so I continued explaining. "People in Castle Rock aren't very nice Cassie, and they're not very smart either. Instead of seeing you and Chris, they see your dad and your older brothers, and they treat you like you've done something wrong. I know you haven't, but that's how they're going to treat you." She nodded. "Just remember," I finished. "That these people don't mean anything. You can grow up and move away from here and nothing any of them say or do can stop you, you understand?"
She nodded, and smiled at me bravely. I marveled at the strength of such a little girl, smiling myself, and then Chris came and sat down. "Thank you," He whispered. "For being honest."
I couldn't think of anything to say in return, so I got up and started washing my bowl, feeling awkward as usual.
The bus came at seven forty five. I had spent the last ten minutes braiding Cassie's long blonde hair on the porch, watching as Chris paced nervously across the sidewalk. We all stood at the sight of the bus, glancing anxiously at one another.
I got on first. It was the least I could do, I felt, provide a shield so maybe some of the ugly comments didn't have to be heard by Chris and Cassie.
The bus was old and musty smelling, and the floor was littered with trash. But when I tripped I knew it wasn't over a pop can or on an old wrapper, but over somebody's foot in a less than accidental way. I stumbled forward, grabbing a seat just in time. My rage was hot. I turned to find the culprit, and discovered Max Little, a fat heap of stupidity, laughing into his fist. He was a year older than me, but much smaller, and I grabbed his shirt and shook him around like he was a rag doll. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Little, you pile of lard? You think you're going to trip me up like that? Well I'll–"
"Hey!" The bus driver called at me. "We won't be having any of that."
"But he tripped her!" Cassie explained, pointing at Max with a tiny finger.
"I don't care what he did, they'll be no roughhousing from any of you on my bus."
I stared, open mouthed at the bus driver who had once been just and fair. But I didn't have to ask any questions, I knew what was wrong. We were harboring Chambers and he wasn't on my side anymore. I turned and walked back to me seat, trying hard not to scream aloud or cry.
School wasn't any better. If people didn't make nasty remarks, or lash out physically, they ignored me completely. All of my classes were suddenly hell, and lunch was a welcome escape. But then I realized that I no longer had a place among my usual friends. They all stared coldly when I sat down until finally one of them said, "Betsy, we've all decided that–that maybe you should go sit someplace else."
I grabbed my lunch tray, and left, but found I had no place else to go. I could feel my eyes filling up with hot, angry tears as I shamefully walked across the cafeteria, looking for an empty space where I could be alone. Finally I noticed Chris waving at me, from a table in the far corner. I sat down next to him and breathed, "Thank you," with relief.
"No..." he said. "You know I should be telling you I'm sorry."
"Lord Chris," I dropped my fork in disgust. "Sorry for what? Sorry that we took you in? Hell, Chris, do you think we didn't know what would happen? I've been–I've been expecting this..." A tear slipped, and fell down into my applesauce.
"It's just harder than you thought, isn't it?" He asked, looking away while I cried.
I didn't answer. It was harder, we both knew that. No need to talk aloud of just how hard it was, how hard it had been for him his whole life.
"Hey, Chris." A deep voice spoke, and a long, tall, Gordie Lachance sat down across from us. "Hello, Betsy." He greeted me softly.
I wiped my eyes and smiled at him. "Lo, Gordie."
"So what's up?" Gordie asked Chris. I expected Chris to talk about how hard things were, but what I heard was a long, detailed discussion of Maddie's banana pancakes.
"Best damn things I ever ate." Chris declared, sprinkling a little salt on his corn. "Man I'm telling you, Gordie, you got to try them sometime."
"Sure, sure." Gordie nodded. "So you guys ready for that History quiz we've got today? Supposed to be pretty hard."
"Course, Gordie, that chapter was easy." Chris nodded.
"It was kind of easy." I agreed.
"Well I couldn't concentrate on it." Gordie declared, opening his carton of milk. Chocolate milk.
"Gordie was probably too busy making up stories in his head to pay attention to what he was reading in the book." Chris told me. "He's always doing that shit."
Gordie looked uncomfortable. "That was sort of it," He said. "But not really. I'm mean I'm not really into–"
"He makes up great stories, Betsy. The kid's a genius."
Gordie shifted. "Not really. That's all kid stuff, not anything serious I mean..." he trailed off.
Chris looked up at him and rolled his eyes. "Always selling yourself short, Gordie. What am I gonna do with you?"
"Bite me," Gordie smirked.
"Screw you, Lachance."
"Can't. I'm too busy with your mom." Gordie blushed and looked at me. "I'm sorry. I forgot you were sitting there. I didn't mean to–,"
"It's alright." I bit back a laugh. "I'll survive."
"Betsy's a tough old broad, Gordie." Chris punched me in the arm, gently. "You should have seen her take on that fat ass Little kid on the bus this morning."
I smiled, but suddenly felt sick to my stomach again. I remembered exactly why I was sitting with Chris and Gordie in the first place.
**Thanks to The Good Girl for continually reviewing me. Much appreciation.
I'd never been tormented myself. I was too quiet, too reserved to take up any notice at all, much less negative notice. I had a small group of girl friends. None of us were really close, but we ate lunch together every day, and talked a little bit. I was doing all right, but I knew, in the pit of my stomach where all bad things are realized, that things were going to change and not for the better. Maddie and I had been welcomed to a small taste of that at the diner a few nights before. The town wasn't looking happily upon the people who'd kept the Chambers around.
It seems to me Castle Rock considered Chris and Cassie the way they'd consider stray dogs. Ugly, underfed stray dogs that no one wanted. They'd throw rocks at them until they left town, or died, and most people were hoping they'd just shrivel up and die, but they'd accept Togus too. But Maddie and I, we interfered with their plans. They were, as that old truck driver had said, free and clear of the Chambers. But too bad, they were back, and guess who's fault it was?
I shivered involuntarily and shut my window with a bang. I took a quick shower, had a bowl of oatmeal, and then, it being only six o' clock, I waited on the couch in the living room, my legs drawn up to my chest, frowning in worry while I considered all of the hateful things that might be said.
Cassie came down at six fifteen. I walked her into the kitchen and got her started with a bowl of oatmeal. This time she really ate, almost two and a half bowls plus a couple of glasses of juice to wash it all down with.
"Betsy," She said quietly, looking very seriously at her second empty bowl. Her eyebrows were all wrinkled up the way a sixty year old woman's might be, and she talked about like we were both forty. "Betsy, do you think people will leave me and Chris alone now that we're here?"
I sat down across from her, wanting to tell her of course they would but the words didn't come up. The lies I was going to give her were caught in my throat, and instead I found myself saying, "I don't know Cassie. Probably not."
She looked disappointed, so I continued explaining. "People in Castle Rock aren't very nice Cassie, and they're not very smart either. Instead of seeing you and Chris, they see your dad and your older brothers, and they treat you like you've done something wrong. I know you haven't, but that's how they're going to treat you." She nodded. "Just remember," I finished. "That these people don't mean anything. You can grow up and move away from here and nothing any of them say or do can stop you, you understand?"
She nodded, and smiled at me bravely. I marveled at the strength of such a little girl, smiling myself, and then Chris came and sat down. "Thank you," He whispered. "For being honest."
I couldn't think of anything to say in return, so I got up and started washing my bowl, feeling awkward as usual.
The bus came at seven forty five. I had spent the last ten minutes braiding Cassie's long blonde hair on the porch, watching as Chris paced nervously across the sidewalk. We all stood at the sight of the bus, glancing anxiously at one another.
I got on first. It was the least I could do, I felt, provide a shield so maybe some of the ugly comments didn't have to be heard by Chris and Cassie.
The bus was old and musty smelling, and the floor was littered with trash. But when I tripped I knew it wasn't over a pop can or on an old wrapper, but over somebody's foot in a less than accidental way. I stumbled forward, grabbing a seat just in time. My rage was hot. I turned to find the culprit, and discovered Max Little, a fat heap of stupidity, laughing into his fist. He was a year older than me, but much smaller, and I grabbed his shirt and shook him around like he was a rag doll. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Little, you pile of lard? You think you're going to trip me up like that? Well I'll–"
"Hey!" The bus driver called at me. "We won't be having any of that."
"But he tripped her!" Cassie explained, pointing at Max with a tiny finger.
"I don't care what he did, they'll be no roughhousing from any of you on my bus."
I stared, open mouthed at the bus driver who had once been just and fair. But I didn't have to ask any questions, I knew what was wrong. We were harboring Chambers and he wasn't on my side anymore. I turned and walked back to me seat, trying hard not to scream aloud or cry.
School wasn't any better. If people didn't make nasty remarks, or lash out physically, they ignored me completely. All of my classes were suddenly hell, and lunch was a welcome escape. But then I realized that I no longer had a place among my usual friends. They all stared coldly when I sat down until finally one of them said, "Betsy, we've all decided that–that maybe you should go sit someplace else."
I grabbed my lunch tray, and left, but found I had no place else to go. I could feel my eyes filling up with hot, angry tears as I shamefully walked across the cafeteria, looking for an empty space where I could be alone. Finally I noticed Chris waving at me, from a table in the far corner. I sat down next to him and breathed, "Thank you," with relief.
"No..." he said. "You know I should be telling you I'm sorry."
"Lord Chris," I dropped my fork in disgust. "Sorry for what? Sorry that we took you in? Hell, Chris, do you think we didn't know what would happen? I've been–I've been expecting this..." A tear slipped, and fell down into my applesauce.
"It's just harder than you thought, isn't it?" He asked, looking away while I cried.
I didn't answer. It was harder, we both knew that. No need to talk aloud of just how hard it was, how hard it had been for him his whole life.
"Hey, Chris." A deep voice spoke, and a long, tall, Gordie Lachance sat down across from us. "Hello, Betsy." He greeted me softly.
I wiped my eyes and smiled at him. "Lo, Gordie."
"So what's up?" Gordie asked Chris. I expected Chris to talk about how hard things were, but what I heard was a long, detailed discussion of Maddie's banana pancakes.
"Best damn things I ever ate." Chris declared, sprinkling a little salt on his corn. "Man I'm telling you, Gordie, you got to try them sometime."
"Sure, sure." Gordie nodded. "So you guys ready for that History quiz we've got today? Supposed to be pretty hard."
"Course, Gordie, that chapter was easy." Chris nodded.
"It was kind of easy." I agreed.
"Well I couldn't concentrate on it." Gordie declared, opening his carton of milk. Chocolate milk.
"Gordie was probably too busy making up stories in his head to pay attention to what he was reading in the book." Chris told me. "He's always doing that shit."
Gordie looked uncomfortable. "That was sort of it," He said. "But not really. I'm mean I'm not really into–"
"He makes up great stories, Betsy. The kid's a genius."
Gordie shifted. "Not really. That's all kid stuff, not anything serious I mean..." he trailed off.
Chris looked up at him and rolled his eyes. "Always selling yourself short, Gordie. What am I gonna do with you?"
"Bite me," Gordie smirked.
"Screw you, Lachance."
"Can't. I'm too busy with your mom." Gordie blushed and looked at me. "I'm sorry. I forgot you were sitting there. I didn't mean to–,"
"It's alright." I bit back a laugh. "I'll survive."
"Betsy's a tough old broad, Gordie." Chris punched me in the arm, gently. "You should have seen her take on that fat ass Little kid on the bus this morning."
I smiled, but suddenly felt sick to my stomach again. I remembered exactly why I was sitting with Chris and Gordie in the first place.
**Thanks to The Good Girl for continually reviewing me. Much appreciation.