Harry was walking around in a circle when the fireplace turned into a TV.
Draco: "What's that thing?"
Hermione: "You do this with it!*hits him over head with the TV*"
Draco: "Oggesdschnorkey!"
Harry: "Let me try that Hermione!"
Hermione: * hands to him*
Harry: * hits self * "Look at the pretty birdies!"
Hermione: * shrug , hits self* "What birdies? I see pink polka dots!"
Fred: "Uh-oh. We better make them better."
George: "Right. * bell rings* Do that later, it's lunchtime now!"
*Later *
George: "Right! Now that we've eaten lunch we had better look for a way to help these people."
Fred: * thinks * "How?"
George: * takes out a phone book * "Hmm.Here! It says:
Have you or someone else slapped three friends, one of them being a famous lunatic, with a TV? Causing them to loose their minds? Well then, if you want it fixed call: 1800-I-JUST-SLAPPED-MY-FRIEND-WITH-A-TV-AND-NEED-SOMEONE-TO-FIX-IT Yes my friends , that number is: 1800-I-JUST-SLAPPED-MY-FREIND-WITH-A-TV-AND-NEED-SOMEONE-TO-FIX-IT Or visit: WWW.I/WAS/STUPID/ENOUGH/TO/SLAP/MY/FRIEND/WITH/A/TV.ORG Or: WWW.MY/TEACHER/IS/FAT/AND/UGLY.NET Or:
WWW.THIS/IS/STARTING/TO/GET/RIDICULOUS.COM
Or: WWW.HOW/MANY/WEBSITES/DO/YOU/PEOPLE/NEED.NET Or: WWW.THIS/IS/THE/LAST/ONE.ORG. Or: WWW.HA/HA/WE/LIED.COM And one of our trained professionals will come and fix the problem(actually, it's more likely that we'll send you an evil nutter who will hit himself with the TV and run around screaming that your mother married Frodo Baggins)
Fred: * sarcastic * "That sounds promising."
George: * already going on site and calling number * "I know! Hey how about this guy?"
Fred: * reads the profile* "HEWHOMUSTNOTBENAMED. Been trying to kill a little boy since his downfall fourteen years ago. Erm.doesn't that sound kind of like You-Know-Who?"
George: * clicks the I will take this person to help me button* "Nonsense!"
*Package arrives *
Harry: *runs over * "Wheee! It's here! It's here!"
Fred: * looks at the box * "What?"
Hermione: * tears it open* "It."
George: "What's it?"
Harry: "That thing."
Fred: "What's that thing?"
Draco: "You know, it."
Fred and George: "WHAT?!?"
Harry: * sounds like preppy cheerleader * "Uh. You are like sooo not funny- "
Hermione: * in your face person* "Acting like you don't know what we got in here *snaps fingers and moves head back and forth *
Draco: *takes out a feather boa* "The costumes, dahling, the costumes."
*Later*
*Truck pulls up *
Fred: "That must be Mr. HEWHOMUSTNOTBENAMED."
Mr. HEWHOMUSTNOTBENAMED: *actually Voldemort in a pink fairy costume* "Hi! I'm, like, an evil dude who's, like, here to, like, hit myself with the, like, TV.like."
Harry: * hands him the TV * "Knock yourself out, buddy!"
Voldy: * does *
Fred: * looks at George* "I told you he was Voldemort."
George: "Why aren't we cringing in fear at the name?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Because I'm to lazy to write that out."
George: "Who are you?"
Harry: "I know! They're them!"
Fred: "Who's them?"
Draco: "That person."
Fred: * groan* "Who is that person?"
Hermione: "They."
George: * annoyed* "Who is they?"
Ron: "The narrator."
Fred: "What are you doin' here?"
Harry: "You ask to many questions."
Hermione:*to Ron * "Want to hit yourself with a TV and loose the small brain that you have?"
Ron: "Nah. I was just going to tell you that Dumbledore snuffed it."
Draco: "Awe. We should give him a funeral."
*Later*
Fred: * looks at light pink and blue streamers* "Why am I reminded of a baby shower?"
Hermione: "Who likes black? I mean, pink is so much more cheerful!" George: "But this is a funeral! F-u-n-e-r-a-l!"
Fred: "And what's with the clowns and games?"
Harry: "We're gonna put the FUN in FUNeral!"
Hermione: "Where's Darcy?"
Fred: "Who?"
Harry: "Darcy! The little blonde boy!"
George: "You mean Draco?"
Draco: * runs in dressed like Arwen* "My name is Darcy! Call me Darcy!"
Harry: * puts on a toilet costume* "Call me Potty-wee-potter!"
Hermione: * puts on a ferret costume* "Call me Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing- ferret-boy!"
Fred: "Call me disturbed."
George: "I'll just go with hoping I never see this again."
Voldy: * walks in dressed like a sack of potatoes* "Call me Spud Boy! And watch this! *sets up a TV and replays the whole thing*
*Next (I spilled orange juice on the 'later' card)
Harry: * whispers to Fred* "Know what?"
Fred: "What?"
Harry: *still whispering*"You and George are going to *screams* NARRATE THE ADVENTURES OF SPUD BOY AND HIS FATHFUL COMPANIONS MALFOY-THE-AMAZING- BOUNCING-FERRET-BOY, POTTY-WEE-POTTER, AND DARCY-THE-RED-NECKED-BLUE- SPOTTED-CRANE!"
George: "What about the narrator we have already?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Because you want to."
George: "I do not!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "The alternative is joining Spud Boy and his faithful companions Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing- ferret-boy, Potty-wee-potter, and Darcy-the-red-necked-blue-spotted-crane as Georgie-the-toad-girl."
George: "Fine."
*Later(Yay! I got another 'later' card)*
George-who-is-now-the-narrator: "We join our zeros as they skip down Diagon Alley."
Potty-wee-potter: "Skippy, skippy, skippy!"
Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing-ferret-boy: "Du-dah, du-dah!"
Darcy: "13 pirates sittin' in a tree. 13 pirates fell on me! *13 pirates fall on him*Ouch-ee! That hurt!"
Spud boy: * heroic music* "Dah-da-da-da-da-da-dah!"
Darcy: "14 pirates in range of gun fire! 14 pirates in danger that's dire! 14 pirates whittled down to threeeeeeee! Glad one of the 12 wasn't me!"
Skippy the squirrel: "Eep-eep-eep!"
Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing-ferret-boy: "What is it, Skippy?"
Skippy: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
Ron: * flushed Skippy down toilet* "Skippy go down de hole."
All: "Skippy go down deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
*5 hours later*
"-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
*7 hours later*
"-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
*sorry, the narrator can't count past 7*
"-o."
Fred: *stuffing face at a snack bar* "Bravo. Done yet?"
Harry: "Yep."
Draco: "I'm tired of being in a plotless story. Hey narrator, I got a nose to pick with you!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "What?"
Draco: "Give this story a plot or I'll-"
Harry: "Tear down the door of snicker doodles!! Fight the flames of fair grounds! Bombard the buoys of plastic bottles! And steal everyone's left shoe."
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Done yet?"
Harry: "Yes."
Draco: "Give the story a plot!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Fine. Draco, your sanity wasn't affected as badly as Harry's and Hermione's and Voldemort's, so I want you and Harry and George and Hermione and Voldemort and the evil butt- kicking tooth fairy to got to Mirkwood and jump in Mt. Doom."
Draco: "Mt. Doom isn't in Mirkwood."
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "But the big evil spiders are."
Draco: "So?"
Harry: "So I can name one of them Fluffy and give it to Hagrid!"
Hermione: "We are gathered here today to discuss the wonders of the-"
Voldemort: "word 'oogeyschnorkenheimer'!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "So what are you waiting for?"
Draco: "What's an evil butt-kicking tooth fairy?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "A tooth fairy."
Draco: "Then what's with the evil butt-kicking part?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "This is the tooth fairy that came to my neighborhood. If you don't give her a tooth, she'll take it by force." Evil butt-kicking tooth fairy: "Hello, I'm the evil butt-kicking tooth fairy."
Sirius: "I object!"
Everyone else: * stare*
Sirius: * looks at script* "Oops, my bad. I'll be going now."
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Wait! You can take the place of the evil butt kicking tooth fairy!"
Sirius: *suspicious * "Why?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "To hard to write evil butt kicking tooth fairy every 2 minutes. Actually, I'm just to lazy."
Sirius: "Oh."
Harry: * lunges at Sirius with a huge sword*
Not-mysterious-voice-to-angry-to-try-to-sound-mysterious: * strikes Harry with lightning* "Don't try me Potted Plant!"
Fred: "Why aren't I coming?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Think long and hard. Judging by what you've seen, do you really want to go?"
Fred: ".....No......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! You guys have to go on an adventure!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Actually, I just like George more so I want him to stay in the story.
Draco: "What's that thing?"
Hermione: "You do this with it!*hits him over head with the TV*"
Draco: "Oggesdschnorkey!"
Harry: "Let me try that Hermione!"
Hermione: * hands to him*
Harry: * hits self * "Look at the pretty birdies!"
Hermione: * shrug , hits self* "What birdies? I see pink polka dots!"
Fred: "Uh-oh. We better make them better."
George: "Right. * bell rings* Do that later, it's lunchtime now!"
*Later *
George: "Right! Now that we've eaten lunch we had better look for a way to help these people."
Fred: * thinks * "How?"
George: * takes out a phone book * "Hmm.Here! It says:
Have you or someone else slapped three friends, one of them being a famous lunatic, with a TV? Causing them to loose their minds? Well then, if you want it fixed call: 1800-I-JUST-SLAPPED-MY-FRIEND-WITH-A-TV-AND-NEED-SOMEONE-TO-FIX-IT Yes my friends , that number is: 1800-I-JUST-SLAPPED-MY-FREIND-WITH-A-TV-AND-NEED-SOMEONE-TO-FIX-IT Or visit: WWW.I/WAS/STUPID/ENOUGH/TO/SLAP/MY/FRIEND/WITH/A/TV.ORG Or: WWW.MY/TEACHER/IS/FAT/AND/UGLY.NET Or:
WWW.THIS/IS/STARTING/TO/GET/RIDICULOUS.COM
Or: WWW.HOW/MANY/WEBSITES/DO/YOU/PEOPLE/NEED.NET Or: WWW.THIS/IS/THE/LAST/ONE.ORG. Or: WWW.HA/HA/WE/LIED.COM And one of our trained professionals will come and fix the problem(actually, it's more likely that we'll send you an evil nutter who will hit himself with the TV and run around screaming that your mother married Frodo Baggins)
Fred: * sarcastic * "That sounds promising."
George: * already going on site and calling number * "I know! Hey how about this guy?"
Fred: * reads the profile* "HEWHOMUSTNOTBENAMED. Been trying to kill a little boy since his downfall fourteen years ago. Erm.doesn't that sound kind of like You-Know-Who?"
George: * clicks the I will take this person to help me button* "Nonsense!"
*Package arrives *
Harry: *runs over * "Wheee! It's here! It's here!"
Fred: * looks at the box * "What?"
Hermione: * tears it open* "It."
George: "What's it?"
Harry: "That thing."
Fred: "What's that thing?"
Draco: "You know, it."
Fred and George: "WHAT?!?"
Harry: * sounds like preppy cheerleader * "Uh. You are like sooo not funny- "
Hermione: * in your face person* "Acting like you don't know what we got in here *snaps fingers and moves head back and forth *
Draco: *takes out a feather boa* "The costumes, dahling, the costumes."
*Later*
*Truck pulls up *
Fred: "That must be Mr. HEWHOMUSTNOTBENAMED."
Mr. HEWHOMUSTNOTBENAMED: *actually Voldemort in a pink fairy costume* "Hi! I'm, like, an evil dude who's, like, here to, like, hit myself with the, like, TV.like."
Harry: * hands him the TV * "Knock yourself out, buddy!"
Voldy: * does *
Fred: * looks at George* "I told you he was Voldemort."
George: "Why aren't we cringing in fear at the name?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Because I'm to lazy to write that out."
George: "Who are you?"
Harry: "I know! They're them!"
Fred: "Who's them?"
Draco: "That person."
Fred: * groan* "Who is that person?"
Hermione: "They."
George: * annoyed* "Who is they?"
Ron: "The narrator."
Fred: "What are you doin' here?"
Harry: "You ask to many questions."
Hermione:*to Ron * "Want to hit yourself with a TV and loose the small brain that you have?"
Ron: "Nah. I was just going to tell you that Dumbledore snuffed it."
Draco: "Awe. We should give him a funeral."
*Later*
Fred: * looks at light pink and blue streamers* "Why am I reminded of a baby shower?"
Hermione: "Who likes black? I mean, pink is so much more cheerful!" George: "But this is a funeral! F-u-n-e-r-a-l!"
Fred: "And what's with the clowns and games?"
Harry: "We're gonna put the FUN in FUNeral!"
Hermione: "Where's Darcy?"
Fred: "Who?"
Harry: "Darcy! The little blonde boy!"
George: "You mean Draco?"
Draco: * runs in dressed like Arwen* "My name is Darcy! Call me Darcy!"
Harry: * puts on a toilet costume* "Call me Potty-wee-potter!"
Hermione: * puts on a ferret costume* "Call me Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing- ferret-boy!"
Fred: "Call me disturbed."
George: "I'll just go with hoping I never see this again."
Voldy: * walks in dressed like a sack of potatoes* "Call me Spud Boy! And watch this! *sets up a TV and replays the whole thing*
*Next (I spilled orange juice on the 'later' card)
Harry: * whispers to Fred* "Know what?"
Fred: "What?"
Harry: *still whispering*"You and George are going to *screams* NARRATE THE ADVENTURES OF SPUD BOY AND HIS FATHFUL COMPANIONS MALFOY-THE-AMAZING- BOUNCING-FERRET-BOY, POTTY-WEE-POTTER, AND DARCY-THE-RED-NECKED-BLUE- SPOTTED-CRANE!"
George: "What about the narrator we have already?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Because you want to."
George: "I do not!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "The alternative is joining Spud Boy and his faithful companions Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing- ferret-boy, Potty-wee-potter, and Darcy-the-red-necked-blue-spotted-crane as Georgie-the-toad-girl."
George: "Fine."
*Later(Yay! I got another 'later' card)*
George-who-is-now-the-narrator: "We join our zeros as they skip down Diagon Alley."
Potty-wee-potter: "Skippy, skippy, skippy!"
Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing-ferret-boy: "Du-dah, du-dah!"
Darcy: "13 pirates sittin' in a tree. 13 pirates fell on me! *13 pirates fall on him*Ouch-ee! That hurt!"
Spud boy: * heroic music* "Dah-da-da-da-da-da-dah!"
Darcy: "14 pirates in range of gun fire! 14 pirates in danger that's dire! 14 pirates whittled down to threeeeeeee! Glad one of the 12 wasn't me!"
Skippy the squirrel: "Eep-eep-eep!"
Malfoy-the-amazing-bouncing-ferret-boy: "What is it, Skippy?"
Skippy: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!"
Ron: * flushed Skippy down toilet* "Skippy go down de hole."
All: "Skippy go down deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
*5 hours later*
"-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
*7 hours later*
"-ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"
*sorry, the narrator can't count past 7*
"-o."
Fred: *stuffing face at a snack bar* "Bravo. Done yet?"
Harry: "Yep."
Draco: "I'm tired of being in a plotless story. Hey narrator, I got a nose to pick with you!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "What?"
Draco: "Give this story a plot or I'll-"
Harry: "Tear down the door of snicker doodles!! Fight the flames of fair grounds! Bombard the buoys of plastic bottles! And steal everyone's left shoe."
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Done yet?"
Harry: "Yes."
Draco: "Give the story a plot!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Fine. Draco, your sanity wasn't affected as badly as Harry's and Hermione's and Voldemort's, so I want you and Harry and George and Hermione and Voldemort and the evil butt- kicking tooth fairy to got to Mirkwood and jump in Mt. Doom."
Draco: "Mt. Doom isn't in Mirkwood."
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "But the big evil spiders are."
Draco: "So?"
Harry: "So I can name one of them Fluffy and give it to Hagrid!"
Hermione: "We are gathered here today to discuss the wonders of the-"
Voldemort: "word 'oogeyschnorkenheimer'!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "So what are you waiting for?"
Draco: "What's an evil butt-kicking tooth fairy?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "A tooth fairy."
Draco: "Then what's with the evil butt-kicking part?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "This is the tooth fairy that came to my neighborhood. If you don't give her a tooth, she'll take it by force." Evil butt-kicking tooth fairy: "Hello, I'm the evil butt-kicking tooth fairy."
Sirius: "I object!"
Everyone else: * stare*
Sirius: * looks at script* "Oops, my bad. I'll be going now."
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Wait! You can take the place of the evil butt kicking tooth fairy!"
Sirius: *suspicious * "Why?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "To hard to write evil butt kicking tooth fairy every 2 minutes. Actually, I'm just to lazy."
Sirius: "Oh."
Harry: * lunges at Sirius with a huge sword*
Not-mysterious-voice-to-angry-to-try-to-sound-mysterious: * strikes Harry with lightning* "Don't try me Potted Plant!"
Fred: "Why aren't I coming?"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Think long and hard. Judging by what you've seen, do you really want to go?"
Fred: ".....No......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! You guys have to go on an adventure!"
Not-mysterious-voice-trying-to-sound-mysterious: "Actually, I just like George more so I want him to stay in the story.