I can't believe how helpless he looks. How vulnerable. I can't bear seeing him just lying there, with all those machines around him, trying to keep him alive. I never realised before, but seeing him there made me realise that I...that I love him. Knowing that I could loose him made me see how much I care about him, how much I need him. I wish so badly that this didn't happen. None of it. I just want things back to how they were, I want him back.

Lisa said that he must have known about Kelly being the killer. He couldn't have. He wouldn't have just stood back and let her do it. He wouldn't have gone trough all that. he would have stopped her. I know he would. He's a nice guy. He's one of the good ones. I know he is. I know because I love him, and it's breaking my heart seeing him lying in that hospital bed.

Zubin said that I've just got to get on with it. That I've got a job to do. But how can I just get on with being a nurse, when it's him I'm supposed to be working on. I can't just detach like that. How can I when I love him so much. How am I supposed to concentrate and stay focused when the person that I love is in such a critical condition.

I can't believe that it's only now. After such a terrible accident that I've realised how much he means to me, when there's a chance I could loose him. It's not fair. It's just not fair