** Since all the reviewers were VERY encouraging, I'm going to continue this little fan-fictionette. Now starring – Elladan, Mithiel, (entirely my figment of imagination), Legolas, his new wife, Mary-Sue #1.

Legolas was going to die. Royally. He was going to die beautifully, but…

Definitely not in arms of Mary-Sue, MY PRECIOUS! He thought, stroking his lustrous hair.

"Happy Wedding, Thranduilio." Legolas winced as Haldir (who was very happy to enter at last) handed him bouquet of flowers. Legolas rolled his beautiful eyes.

Mary-Sue #1 snatched the flowers from his pudgy hands daintily, (Legolas had no idea how she managed to do that), and thanked Haldir with such a gusto that Haldir brandished an umbrella out of nowhere to stand her spit spray. "Oh, by Yavanna Kementari, I love your flowers! Diola llet, Haldeeer!"

Elladan, Mithiel, Haldir and Legolas all winced at Mary-Sue #1 pronounced Elvish with a terrible after – t.  Haldir looked like he was about to murder Mary-Sue #1 – mainly because she butchered his name.

Mary-Sue #1 looked magnificent this day. Her beautiful blonde hair outshined Glorfindel without blinding anybody, her huge blue eyes innocent, and her small, red lips in a smile. Her purple gown showed her curves without revealing too much.

"Ohh, Lee-goe-lass, you look so bored." Mary-Sue #1 pouted. "How about we visit the Halls of Maandos?"

"Don't…"

"Say…."

"THAT!" Elladan and Haldir pranced upon the Mary-Sue #1, but too late! The entire space by the radius of 5 miles opened up, and the five – Mithiel, Haldir, Elladan, Mary-Sue #1 and Legolas – got sucked in.

"Where is this?"

"Ouch! Legolas, you are sitting on my foot! And you don't weigh as half as everybody would like to think! Get… off!!!"

"Elladan, would you please stop squirming around? What you are trying to grab is my head."

"Sorry, Haldir."

"Let there be light in my halls," said a grave voice. In front of them stood a stern-faced man, he who all elves (except Mary-Sue #1, who was supposed to be an elf) realized as Namo, the Lord of the Halls of Mandos.

"Mandos means…"

"That's not good!" Sure enough, eight elves, all armed with shining armor and naked swords in their hands, marched to their direction. Mithiel, Elladan and Haldir all scrabbled away, fleeing for their dear lives.

"Mithiel, Fëanor is supposed to be your ancestor!"

"Who cares about my great great grandfather!" Legolas caught up, running with great toil. "Ohhhh by Ulmo, who were they?"

Elladan rolled his eyes. "Thranduilio, remember your lore lessons?! That was Fëanor and his seven sons."

"Fëanor?!! Ohhh my god!" Legolas gasped.

~~~Back to Mary-Sue #1~~~

"Leggy! Why are you running away? They look nice!"

"Die." Was all Mary-Sue #1 heard before Maedhros' left hand, wielding his sword, ripped through her vitals with a nasty sound.

"See?! See how that well this whole thing went?! My bride died before spending more than half a day together!"

"Good riddance." Said Elladan.

"Yeah… I guess… But…"

"Don't worry, Leggy. I bought a supercalifragilisticexpilialidociously wonderful machine. It's called Mary-Sue-der." Mithiel brandished something that could be only described as, "a huge telephone box with whole bunch of cords sticking out." Legolas winced at his nickname. Mithiel always had ingenious ideas about nicknames, such as "Leggy", "Leggy-Man", and "weirdo" as starters.

"What, by the name of Fëanor, is THAT?!" Haldir gawked.

"Bringing up my old moldy ancestor's name is quite accurate, Haldir. Fëanor made this, because he had a so-called "Firy-Spirit". All it does is put you in a virtual world with a Mary-Sue. Looks like Fëanor had fun murdering those Sues, my old granpy hated them."

"I object to being called Granpy," said a haunting voice.

"Go away, Grandpa." Mithiel shook her hand. "Now, what you do, Leggy, is you step in here…"

"Legolas! COME ON!" Frodo whispered. His voice was soft, but it was enough for Legolas to hear. He shook his head. He had to save this maiden, who will surely die, her beauty diminishing in this nasty mine. Legolas hated mines. Brr. Nasty. He saw Frodo run away, but he stayed.

"Stay still." He told the maiden. The girl nodded tiredly, her black tresses falling upon her forehead. She looked tired. Legolas pulled her up, stared into her eyes, and then…

POOF! He fell in love with her. He was about to kiss her when…

"YOU STOLE OUR RING!" screeched a voice. "OUR ONION RING! OUR POOR ONION RING! IT'S LONELY AND COLD!"

Legolas looked down. Beside them was a scrunchy, grey-ish brownish creature with huge eyes and strings of hair on its bald head. Reflexively, Legolas stroke his brilliant hair. "Are you accusing me, Gollum?" he asked.

"Not you, WEIRDO! HER!" the hyper once-hobbit creature shrieked. "That UGLY THING ATE OUR POOR ONION RING!"

"No, I did not…" the maiden looked down. "Trust me."

"Oh, yes, you did! MY PRECIOUS!" Gollum shrieked. With one swift motion, Gollum scrabbled upon the maiden's head and choked her to death.

"Oh Mandos." Legolas gasped.

"For revenge, oh yes my precious, I think we will eat your stomach, to retrieve our poor onion ring." Gollum declared.

"Oh no…"

(A/N: from now, the last couple of lines may gross you out.)

Gollum ripped open her stomach and pulled out (if you are getting grossed out, do not read) her intestines, and started to eat it.

"Mmm…"

"Alright, alright." Legolas came out, his face haggard. "That's enough."

"You look like you went through a nightmare, instead of a love romance." The female elf observed.

"Yeah?! What do you think, Mithiel the All-Knowing?! HUH?" Legolas yelled in her face. "I got my Mary-Sue would be girlfriend eaten when I was about to kiss her! Damn!"

"That is so not my fault." Mithiel rolled her eyes. Then…

Muwahahaha…"

"RUN!" Elladan screamed, but none of them could move.

"What devilry is this?" Haldir muttered.

"Line stealer."

"Shut up."

"…ha ha ha ha ha…"

"F…f… f…"

"Are you trying to say the eff word?"

"No… fffff!" Elladan could not say the word.

"My dear granddaughter, did you like this?" Fëanor and his seven sons stepped out, Maedhros in lead.

"Heeey, Mithie." Maedhros called winsomely. "Here's a present for you."

The she-elf snatched the present and held it as if it was a bomb.

"Don't worry, it won't explode…"

"The smell is making my nose explode," Legolas groaned. "It smells so bad…"

"Do I really want to open this?" Mithiel pondered.

"Yeppy, you do."

"I won't, then." Mithiel smiled, opened the package, and…

smacked it in Maedhros' face.

"Ai! Manwë damn you!" Maedhros shrieked, shaking his – stump – in the air. Elladan snatched a sword out of her sheath, and tapped the stump with the flat of her sword. Maedhros tried to charge, but the Elf sidestepped lightly out of the way, laughing.

"I don't like you, descendent," Maedhros said with a pout that seemed hereditary. Legolas had seen Elladan wear the exactly same pout.

"Ta ta!" Elladan pranced, crashed into Maglor, who crashed into Legolas, who…

tumbled straight into Mary-Sue-der.

Please R/R! The reviews are the only things that keeps me going.