Title: Beginnings
Genre: G
Author: Brandy
Disclaimers: They aren't mine, and unfortunately never will be.
Spoilers: Minimum Security
Jethro Gibbs stared at one Caitlin Todd sitting across from him, wondering what she was smiling at. "Kate?"
"What?"
"What's so amusing?"
"Your rules."
"My rules?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah."
"What about them?"
"They're obviously set up to protect you from anyone getting too close, because that's all they're good for."
"Not letting people get close to me, right?"
"Yeah."
"And how do you know that?"
"Isn't that one of the most important skills for an agent? Observation?"
"Usually."
"Okay then."
"And why would you think I don't want people getting close?"
"I haven't figured that out yet. Why don't you tell me?"
He rolled his eyes.
"What?"
"You."
"What about me?"
"Maybe I don't like to get hurt a lot maybe that's why I have rules."
"How are you ever gonna know if people are gonna hurt you or not if you don't let them close? That's like shutting all cats out because some of them are lions."
He nodded.
"So which agent was it?"
"Kate."
"It's a legitimate question."
"Yes."
"I think it deserves an answer."
He stops what he's doing and looks at her.
"That's not gonna work this time."
"Do you really want to hear about this?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I want to know."
"It was an agent I was working with."
"And?"
"It didn't work out."
"I knew that. So since that one time didn't work out, it never will?"
"The two other times didn't help a lot either."
She nodded.
"Are you satisfied?"
"Not really."
"And maybe because I feel vulnerable right now."
"Why?"
He couldn't look at her.
"Why?" She asked again, softer.
"Because I'm attracted to someone, who I really shouldn't be attracted to and I don't even know why I'm having this conversation in the first place." He laughed.
She nodded. "Yeah."
He looked at her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What's that mean?"
"Never mind. How long till we land?"
"3 hours."
"Okay."
"Kate, I told you my reason for my rules, tell me what you meant by yeah."
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me." He looked at her, wanting to know what was wrong. Her expression had changed, she wasn't smiling anymore.
"I spent my time waiting for a man who was not waiting for me."
He looked at her. "Are you sure he wasn't waiting for you?"
"Yeah."
He moved to the seat beside her.
"Everything's all wrong and he told me so. I just...I didn't wanna believe him."
"What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter. I never listen to him anyway."
"Really?"
"Sometimes."
"This is bothering you, talking about it might help."
"I don't think so."
"Talk Kate. Please?" He said softly.
"Please don't."
He touched her hand. "Please."
"Romance, between agents, Kate, it never works." She whispered, barely audible.
He closed his eyes, then opened them again, in shock more than anything.
She moved back to where he'd been sitting and got out a nonsensical file from her bag. "So just...please don't."
"Kate."
"Don't."
"Why not?"
"Because of your damned rules. They protect you but they make everyone else miserable."
"They don't always make me so happy."
"Join the club."
"You're wrong about one thing."
"What?"
"You can never be sure of what another person wants." He said, looking at her hoping to convey what he meant through his eyes.
"Yeah." She put the file back in her hands, looking over it.
He sat back in the seat he was currently occupying.
***************
She watched Tony leave and stayed at her car for a few minutes after they landed. Gibbs walked to her car and knocked on the window.
"What?"
"Never mind, I'll just call a cab."
She wiped at her eyes. "Where do you wanna go?"
"Where were you going?"
"Home."
"Good enough, we need to talk anyway."
She drove silently and parked, going upstairs.
He waited downstairs for her, he had no idea she felt that way about him. He knew he'd liked her ever since she'd joined, even before that.
The intercom sounded. "Ms. Todd...there's a
man waiting down here."
Damn it. "Send him up."
Jethro nodded and went upstairs.
She opened her door. "What are you doing?"
"I did say we needed to talk didn't I?"
"I don't see that there's that much left to talk about."
"Come on Kate. At least hear me out."
"I already heard you. Romance between agents, Kate, it never works."
He laughed. "You don't wanna listen fine. Then I just wasted my time." He turned to leave.
"You wanna talk about wasted time?" She came out of her apartment. "Look, I'm gonna try...but it hurts."
He turned back around. "I don't know what I was doing." He'd thought about that phrase the entire way back on the plane.
"When?"
"When I said that."
She watched the heads poke out of the apartment on the landing above. "Come in, okay?"
He nodded and walked inside.
She shut the door. "Talk."
"Why does it hurt?"
"Because I'm losing the only thing I've wanted in awhile."
He moved closer to her. She crossed her arms, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"I'm not going anywhere Kate."
"Don't you know by now? Don't you know that I would never hurt you?"
"I'm starting to."
"I don't know what to do."
"Me neither. Can we just take it slow?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
"Just don't say that again."
He nodded. "And you're right sometimes I can be a bastard." He laughed.
"You said that. I agreed with you, but I didn't say that."
"Okay I did say that. This isn't going the way I planned."
"And how did you plan it?"
He rubbed his forehead.
"How did you plan it?"
"Oh lord I don't know."
"You are the most aggravating..."
"I let you finish your sentence this time."
"I'm finished."
He nodded.
"Sometimes..."
He remained silent.
"So what now?"
"I don't know, I'm not too good at this."
"And I don't know what you want. I can't read your mind."
"Well then let's start by asking each other what we want."
"What do you want?"
"Someone who doesn't want everything to be about them all the time."
"Okay." She'd never made it about her and she'd been content to try to forget it if that's not what he wanted, but she wasn't going to flatten herself to the ground for him either.
"What do you want Kate?" His blue eyes shining.
She wanted to say him, but wasn't sure how he'd take it.
"Come on Kate, I told you what I want now it's your turn."
"I just want you," she said softly, looking off to the side.
"Are you sure?"
She looked back at him. "Yeah."
He nodded. "Kate, when I said that thing about romance between agents.....it wasn't directed specifically to you...."
"You looked straight at me. You knew what you were saying and you directed it to me."
"Kate I am lousy at relationships and telling people how I feel. It's just not something that comes easy to me."
"I know that."
"Have I completely blown my chance with you?"
"No."
"Okay, um I know this is short notice but," He paused, putting his hands in his pockets. "Would you like to have dinner with me?"
"Okay." A slight smile tugged at his lips. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time things could actually work out.
"Where?"
"We could go out or stay in, your choice."
"Let's stay in. What do you want to eat?"
"Would Chinese be acceptable?"
"Yeah, that'd be great." She ordered for both of them and returned.
He had sat down on the couch, back ramrod straight, nervous as heck.
"You know, you can relax."
"Relax? What's that?" He joked.
"I can make some coffee."
"That'd be good."
She moved to make coffee.
"Do you think I was too hard on DiNozzo?"
"That's not really my business."
He nodded.
She brought back the coffee. He took the cup she offered and took a long sip. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," He said, holding the coffee cup.
"Okay."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm good."
He nodded drinking more coffee. She felt supremely awkward.
"So..."
The food came, she paid and got it set up.
"Smells great."
She brought it over and sat back on the couch with him. He scooted a bit closer to her. She smiled at him. He smiled back.
"So, how are we gonna do this?"
"Any ideas?"
"Tony can't know."
"I know that."
"Take it day to day and see where it goes."
"Sounds good."
"Then that's that. Take it one day at a time." He put his hand on hers. She turned her hand so that he could hold his. He entwined his fingers with hers, smiling.