Prologue
I remember it well. This whole change in fortune began one summer evening. It was an average day for the most part; in fact, I recall it as being exceptional. The weather was behaving beautifully. The mild, mid- June temperature was perfected by the brilliant sunset now beginning to grace the sky. The occasional cloud was turning pink, purple, or orange, while on the horizon a deep, midnight blue hinted at the arrival of a clear and starry night. Occasionally, the peaceful setting was broken by the sweet song of a mockingbird. I think you will agree that these are not the stereotypical omens of doom. Of course, it is debatable as to whether my adventure really did result in "doom." Certainly it resulted in change. Great change that I thought was definately for the worse when it first crept up on me. But whether it really was for the worse, or for the better, you'll have to decide for yourself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Another school year was finished, and with it came another graduating class at Las Flores Middle School: mine. The entire eighth grade, soon to be ninth grade, was gathered in the central quad of our school for the ceremony, along with various friends and family members. While Ms. Smith, our principal, conducted an event that was almost as original as her surname, I let my mind wander. People have often told me that I spend too much time day-dreaming, though looking around the crowd I could tell that most of the people there were paying as much attention to Ms. Smith's rant about responsibility as I was. In the meantime, I was busy picturing myself discovering a new planet, or saving the world from global warming, or-
A smattering of applause interrupted my fantasies. Evidently, Ms. Smith was finally finished. It was time for her to award the diplomas. One by one each student walked the stage, shook hands with our principal, and was promoted to high school. Eventually, everyone had gone but me.
"And, to conclude," Ms. Smith began, "I would like to announce this year's valedictorian. I am very sorry to see her leave Las Flores. She was a great asset to our school, and I wish her the best of luck with next year, and all years to come." At this, Ms. Smith paused and smiled at me. I slid down in my seat, wanting to become invisible. I had always been accused of being the "principal's pet." I had to admit, especially after her sentimental speech, that this was true. The thought made me feel sick, though. I didn't particularly like Ms. Smith, and her affection gave my classmates even more license to mock me. "Congratulations, Talbot Burnet."
Embarrassed, I took the seemingly long walk up to the stage. Even though I could have sunk into the floor, a small, proud smile escaped from my lips. I loved to be recognized for my academic accomplishments. As I shook hands with Ms. Smith she whispered, "Good luck, Talley."
"Thanks," I said softly. With that, I walked off the stage even more clumsily than usual thanks to the skirt I was unaccustomed to. As I sat back down I breathed a sigh of relief. One more school year was over.
It wasn't that I didn't enjoy learning. Quite the opposite was true. But I had never really fit in among my fellow students. I had a few acquaintances and wasn't the most unpopular person at school, but never had I had a true friend, and most of the people around me didn't pay any attention to me at all. Like I said before, I was just the "principal's pet." My situation was reiterated by what was going on around me. Everywhere my classmates were talking excitedly with their friends, and there I was: sitting by myself.
Hesitantly, I walked up to a group of people that usually acted somewhat friendly toward me. "Oh, hi, Talley," they greeted me.
"Congratulations on being the valedictorian," said one.
"Thanks," I replied shyly.
After the formalities I was ignored. Conversation revolved around the newest singer that I, of course, had never heard of. When asked my opinion of her dressing style I vaguely said that it was okay.
Thankfully, the tension was soon broken by a familiar voice. "Congratulations, Talley!" said my father. I turned to face him.
"Thanks, Dad. Why don't we go out to dinner to celebrate?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea," a new voice said. I stiffly turned to meet the eyes of its owner. Victoria was my step-mother. Dad married her soon after my real mother died, which was too soon after my birth for me to remember. But even though I had known Victoria as a "mother" for practically all of my life, I could never think of her as one. We rarely got along.
"I have a wonderful surprise for you, Talley. Dinner would be an excellent time for me to tell you about it." Why did I feel a chill running through me? "Scott," she continued, now talking to Dad, "We're going to Mandarin Gardens for dinner."
"But," my dad protested feebly, "I had planned a home-cooked meal for all of us. It's Talley's favorite: spaghetti and garlic bread."
"Oh, that's great, Dad!" I said. "Let's eat at home."
"We're eating out," Victoria said icily.
"Well," Dad started hesitantly, "if that's all right with you, Talley... I mean, we can always heat up the leftovers tomorrow. If your mother wants-"
"Fine," I said impatiently. "And she's not my mother," I added under my breath.
"Oh, this will be so fun!" said Victoria, bubbly once more. "Let's go right now."
On the car ride to Mandarin Gardens I tried to think of my pride in graduating first in my class to clear my clouded mood. But all I could think of was how much I wanted Dad to stand up to Victoria for once. I was beginning to feel that a summer spent at home with Victoria was worse than even my loneliness at school.
At the restaurant, Dad told me to order anything I wanted. It was a treat for my great school year, he said. My parent"s" sat on one side of the table while I took the seat across from both of them. I studied my menu for a while, and then heard Victoria murmur something to my dad. Pretending to still be searching for what I wanted to eat, I listened intently to their whispered conversation.
"We should tell her now," muttered Victoria.
"Now?" asked Dad anxiously. "I think it might be better if we waited until-"
"You can't keep putting this off, Scott," she interrupted.
"But I thought we hadn't even decided if this was what we were going to do."
"Scott! With your indecision we'll never decide. We have to think about her future! This is the best thing to do!"
"But-"
I couldn't take it any longer. Their voices had definitely risen above a whisper, but I still had no idea what they were talking about. I cleared my throat. They started, seeming to have forgotten that I was even there. "I think I'll have the orange chicken, Dad."
"Right, of course," he said, flustered. The waiter arrived and took our orders. Once he had left I said, "Dad, Victoria, I'm not stupid. What's going on? What're you going to tell me?"
"I'm glad you asked, Talley," said Victoria in an uncharacteristically and falsely sweet voice. I was on my guard.
"Vic-" Dad began. She shot him a hard look.
"Talley," she started, "your dad and I are so proud of you. Being the valedictorian is a big thing. You're a very smart girl. You have a lot of potential." Never had I received this many compliments from Victoria in a month.
"Thanks, Vicky," I said, just as sweetly, using the nickname I knew she hated. "Why this change of heart? Wasn't it just yesterday that you told me that I would never amount to anything?"
For a moment she stared at me with a look of cold hatred. Then, suddenly, she laughed merrily and said, "Oh, with your brains, couldn't you tell that that was just a joke?" I rolled my eyes.
"The point is, Tal, you should use those brains of yours."
"What are you talking about, Victoria?" I protested. "I use 'these brains of mine' every day at school."
"Oh, you can't mean that you're actually challenged at that public school of yours. And, just let me finish. Your father and I," she said, giving a meaningful glance to Dad. He nodded as she continued with, "have decided that we want you to be able to make the most of your life. Now, that can never happen when you're wasting away in public school."
"So, you mean you want me to go to St. Mary's next year," I guessed, referring to our local private high school.
"Talbot, will you stop interrupting me?" she shot, using the name by which I hate to be called. Ah, I thought to myself. So she's finally giving up this phoney niceness. I was wrong, however. Stunned, I watched as she gathered her composure, attempted a kindly smile, and went on. "What I mean is, I would really like you to know what we've planned for you. I'm sure you'll just love it. So please wait until after I'm done to ask any questions."
Hardly able to stand it, I folded my hands across my chest and sat in silence.
"Thank you," Victoria continued. "No, we don't want you to attend St. Mary's. We have something even better for you. Talley, how would you like to go to Duneview Academy?"
"I've never heard of it. Where is it?" I asked suspiciously.
Victoria hesistated. "Um, it's in Nevada," she finally said.
"You're kidding, right?" I said, unconvinced.
"No, Talley," she persisted eagerly. "It's a great school! And it's a boarding school, too. Oh, I remember my days at boarding school. I had a great time. And look how I turned out!"
"No!" I yelled. People in the restaurant turned to look at me. "You can't be serious! Oh, I know," I said angrily, with a flash of realization. "You're just trying to get me out of the house. You've never liked me, Victoria. And now you want to get rid of me!"
The look on her face told me I was right, but aloud she hissed, "Don't make a scene, Talley! What will people think? Of course I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm just thinking of your future! And this is how you repay me? By throwing a fit?"
For a while I just glared at her. I'm sure there was fire in my eyes, and all I was feeling toward her was hatred. Finally I turned to Dad.
"How can you let her send me away?"
"Talley, I didn't-"
Victoria cut in. "Your father was doing the same thing I am: trying to give you opportunity, you ungrateful little brat."
"What happened to your sweet talking and compliments, Vic?" I said sarcastically. Before she could say anything I stormed outside and stood outside the locked car. I assume that Dad and Victoria payed the check, and then minutes later they walked out as well, Victoria looking furious and Dad looking helpless.
It was a silent and tense ride home. I was thankful that Dad was driving, because in Victoria's infuriated state the results might have been distastorous. I sat in the back seat, alone and miserable. To think that at the graduation I had thought my life was over because of Ms. Smith's harmless little speech. How could I leave everything I had ever known? True, it wasn't much, but it was familiar- and safe. There was no way I would let Victoria win this battle.
When we arrived home I stormed up to my room, followed by Dad and Victoria. "Talley," Dad started, "you know that Victoria and I only want what's best for you."
"No, Dad," I said rebelliously. "I don't. Victoria wants me out of the house and you're just too scared to stand up to her. How could you, Dad?" I asked desperately. "You're a coward!"
"Scott," said Victoria, "why don't you go downstairs. Talley and I can have some good 'girl talk' here."
After he left, Victoria closed my door and sat down on my bed. An evil glint in her eyes, she said softly, "What's wrong with going away to school? What would you be missing here? You don't have any friends..."
Her words stung me to the core. I knew it was true, but it was malicious for her to say it. Still, I looked her straight in the eye and didn't back down.
"...and maybe even you could have a chance at Duneview. What do you have to lose?"
"Home," I replied promptly. "I've lived here forever."
"Ah," she said, her voice slowly rising, "So you would miss comfort. Is that it?"
I couldn't tell where this was going, but I knew I didn't like it. Hesitantly, I nodded. "Well, yeah..."
"No," Victoria said. A small smile was on her face. "You would miss familiarity. You would miss safety. You called you father a coward, Talbot, but you and I know that you're the real coward here. You've always been that way. You're too scared to order pizza on the phone. You're too scared to ask a stranger for directions. You're too scared to begin any friendships. And now you're too scared to go away from what you're used to, even if there's the possibility that it could be a good change. You, my dear, are the coward."
Angry tears welled up in my eyes. It wasn't because Victoria was trying to insult me. It was because I knew it was true. Sometimes I hated myself for my lack of bravery. All my life I had struggled with my stupid, restricting, hateful cowardice. Now was my chance to break my chains. I would go to the dumb school. I would prove that I could be brave to Victoria... and to myself.
"You're wrong, Vic," I said, my voice shaking. "I- I'll go to whatever it's called. But it's not for you," I added quickly. "I suppose now you're happy that I'll be gone, but I'll be glad to get away from you."
Victoria laughed. "My dear, you would have gone whether you wanted to or not. I'm glad I've been able to... persuade you, shall I say? But of course," she went on in a over-exaggerated mockery of her falsely kind voice, "this is all for the benefit of you."
She got up and walked over to the chair in which I was sitting and put a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged her off and flung myself face-down onto my bed. I only half-heard what she said next: something some niece of hers. I was too emotionally drained to care.
"Just get out!" I yelled at Victoria. "You have what you wanted so leave me alone!"
"Yes, Talbot Burnet," she said on her way out of the door. "I do have what I wanted. You have finally learned that I will always get what I want. I will always win."
Regaining my composure, I said, "I decided of my own accord to go ahead with this plan. You have not won, Victoria. You never will against me." My voice was rising the whole while. I finally shouted, "Don't you ever forget that! Victoria, you are an evil woman. Those like me will always triumph over you!"
Energy was surging through my veins. I had never felt like this before. Evidently, Victoria was as surprised as I was.
"Now- now don't get excited," she said, flustered. She quickly walked out of my room and slammed the door. I could hear her run downstairs. Now that I was finally alone I threw myself back onto the bed to cry myself to sleep.
I remember it well. This whole change in fortune began one summer evening. It was an average day for the most part; in fact, I recall it as being exceptional. The weather was behaving beautifully. The mild, mid- June temperature was perfected by the brilliant sunset now beginning to grace the sky. The occasional cloud was turning pink, purple, or orange, while on the horizon a deep, midnight blue hinted at the arrival of a clear and starry night. Occasionally, the peaceful setting was broken by the sweet song of a mockingbird. I think you will agree that these are not the stereotypical omens of doom. Of course, it is debatable as to whether my adventure really did result in "doom." Certainly it resulted in change. Great change that I thought was definately for the worse when it first crept up on me. But whether it really was for the worse, or for the better, you'll have to decide for yourself.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Another school year was finished, and with it came another graduating class at Las Flores Middle School: mine. The entire eighth grade, soon to be ninth grade, was gathered in the central quad of our school for the ceremony, along with various friends and family members. While Ms. Smith, our principal, conducted an event that was almost as original as her surname, I let my mind wander. People have often told me that I spend too much time day-dreaming, though looking around the crowd I could tell that most of the people there were paying as much attention to Ms. Smith's rant about responsibility as I was. In the meantime, I was busy picturing myself discovering a new planet, or saving the world from global warming, or-
A smattering of applause interrupted my fantasies. Evidently, Ms. Smith was finally finished. It was time for her to award the diplomas. One by one each student walked the stage, shook hands with our principal, and was promoted to high school. Eventually, everyone had gone but me.
"And, to conclude," Ms. Smith began, "I would like to announce this year's valedictorian. I am very sorry to see her leave Las Flores. She was a great asset to our school, and I wish her the best of luck with next year, and all years to come." At this, Ms. Smith paused and smiled at me. I slid down in my seat, wanting to become invisible. I had always been accused of being the "principal's pet." I had to admit, especially after her sentimental speech, that this was true. The thought made me feel sick, though. I didn't particularly like Ms. Smith, and her affection gave my classmates even more license to mock me. "Congratulations, Talbot Burnet."
Embarrassed, I took the seemingly long walk up to the stage. Even though I could have sunk into the floor, a small, proud smile escaped from my lips. I loved to be recognized for my academic accomplishments. As I shook hands with Ms. Smith she whispered, "Good luck, Talley."
"Thanks," I said softly. With that, I walked off the stage even more clumsily than usual thanks to the skirt I was unaccustomed to. As I sat back down I breathed a sigh of relief. One more school year was over.
It wasn't that I didn't enjoy learning. Quite the opposite was true. But I had never really fit in among my fellow students. I had a few acquaintances and wasn't the most unpopular person at school, but never had I had a true friend, and most of the people around me didn't pay any attention to me at all. Like I said before, I was just the "principal's pet." My situation was reiterated by what was going on around me. Everywhere my classmates were talking excitedly with their friends, and there I was: sitting by myself.
Hesitantly, I walked up to a group of people that usually acted somewhat friendly toward me. "Oh, hi, Talley," they greeted me.
"Congratulations on being the valedictorian," said one.
"Thanks," I replied shyly.
After the formalities I was ignored. Conversation revolved around the newest singer that I, of course, had never heard of. When asked my opinion of her dressing style I vaguely said that it was okay.
Thankfully, the tension was soon broken by a familiar voice. "Congratulations, Talley!" said my father. I turned to face him.
"Thanks, Dad. Why don't we go out to dinner to celebrate?"
"I think that's a wonderful idea," a new voice said. I stiffly turned to meet the eyes of its owner. Victoria was my step-mother. Dad married her soon after my real mother died, which was too soon after my birth for me to remember. But even though I had known Victoria as a "mother" for practically all of my life, I could never think of her as one. We rarely got along.
"I have a wonderful surprise for you, Talley. Dinner would be an excellent time for me to tell you about it." Why did I feel a chill running through me? "Scott," she continued, now talking to Dad, "We're going to Mandarin Gardens for dinner."
"But," my dad protested feebly, "I had planned a home-cooked meal for all of us. It's Talley's favorite: spaghetti and garlic bread."
"Oh, that's great, Dad!" I said. "Let's eat at home."
"We're eating out," Victoria said icily.
"Well," Dad started hesitantly, "if that's all right with you, Talley... I mean, we can always heat up the leftovers tomorrow. If your mother wants-"
"Fine," I said impatiently. "And she's not my mother," I added under my breath.
"Oh, this will be so fun!" said Victoria, bubbly once more. "Let's go right now."
On the car ride to Mandarin Gardens I tried to think of my pride in graduating first in my class to clear my clouded mood. But all I could think of was how much I wanted Dad to stand up to Victoria for once. I was beginning to feel that a summer spent at home with Victoria was worse than even my loneliness at school.
At the restaurant, Dad told me to order anything I wanted. It was a treat for my great school year, he said. My parent"s" sat on one side of the table while I took the seat across from both of them. I studied my menu for a while, and then heard Victoria murmur something to my dad. Pretending to still be searching for what I wanted to eat, I listened intently to their whispered conversation.
"We should tell her now," muttered Victoria.
"Now?" asked Dad anxiously. "I think it might be better if we waited until-"
"You can't keep putting this off, Scott," she interrupted.
"But I thought we hadn't even decided if this was what we were going to do."
"Scott! With your indecision we'll never decide. We have to think about her future! This is the best thing to do!"
"But-"
I couldn't take it any longer. Their voices had definitely risen above a whisper, but I still had no idea what they were talking about. I cleared my throat. They started, seeming to have forgotten that I was even there. "I think I'll have the orange chicken, Dad."
"Right, of course," he said, flustered. The waiter arrived and took our orders. Once he had left I said, "Dad, Victoria, I'm not stupid. What's going on? What're you going to tell me?"
"I'm glad you asked, Talley," said Victoria in an uncharacteristically and falsely sweet voice. I was on my guard.
"Vic-" Dad began. She shot him a hard look.
"Talley," she started, "your dad and I are so proud of you. Being the valedictorian is a big thing. You're a very smart girl. You have a lot of potential." Never had I received this many compliments from Victoria in a month.
"Thanks, Vicky," I said, just as sweetly, using the nickname I knew she hated. "Why this change of heart? Wasn't it just yesterday that you told me that I would never amount to anything?"
For a moment she stared at me with a look of cold hatred. Then, suddenly, she laughed merrily and said, "Oh, with your brains, couldn't you tell that that was just a joke?" I rolled my eyes.
"The point is, Tal, you should use those brains of yours."
"What are you talking about, Victoria?" I protested. "I use 'these brains of mine' every day at school."
"Oh, you can't mean that you're actually challenged at that public school of yours. And, just let me finish. Your father and I," she said, giving a meaningful glance to Dad. He nodded as she continued with, "have decided that we want you to be able to make the most of your life. Now, that can never happen when you're wasting away in public school."
"So, you mean you want me to go to St. Mary's next year," I guessed, referring to our local private high school.
"Talbot, will you stop interrupting me?" she shot, using the name by which I hate to be called. Ah, I thought to myself. So she's finally giving up this phoney niceness. I was wrong, however. Stunned, I watched as she gathered her composure, attempted a kindly smile, and went on. "What I mean is, I would really like you to know what we've planned for you. I'm sure you'll just love it. So please wait until after I'm done to ask any questions."
Hardly able to stand it, I folded my hands across my chest and sat in silence.
"Thank you," Victoria continued. "No, we don't want you to attend St. Mary's. We have something even better for you. Talley, how would you like to go to Duneview Academy?"
"I've never heard of it. Where is it?" I asked suspiciously.
Victoria hesistated. "Um, it's in Nevada," she finally said.
"You're kidding, right?" I said, unconvinced.
"No, Talley," she persisted eagerly. "It's a great school! And it's a boarding school, too. Oh, I remember my days at boarding school. I had a great time. And look how I turned out!"
"No!" I yelled. People in the restaurant turned to look at me. "You can't be serious! Oh, I know," I said angrily, with a flash of realization. "You're just trying to get me out of the house. You've never liked me, Victoria. And now you want to get rid of me!"
The look on her face told me I was right, but aloud she hissed, "Don't make a scene, Talley! What will people think? Of course I'm not trying to get rid of you. I'm just thinking of your future! And this is how you repay me? By throwing a fit?"
For a while I just glared at her. I'm sure there was fire in my eyes, and all I was feeling toward her was hatred. Finally I turned to Dad.
"How can you let her send me away?"
"Talley, I didn't-"
Victoria cut in. "Your father was doing the same thing I am: trying to give you opportunity, you ungrateful little brat."
"What happened to your sweet talking and compliments, Vic?" I said sarcastically. Before she could say anything I stormed outside and stood outside the locked car. I assume that Dad and Victoria payed the check, and then minutes later they walked out as well, Victoria looking furious and Dad looking helpless.
It was a silent and tense ride home. I was thankful that Dad was driving, because in Victoria's infuriated state the results might have been distastorous. I sat in the back seat, alone and miserable. To think that at the graduation I had thought my life was over because of Ms. Smith's harmless little speech. How could I leave everything I had ever known? True, it wasn't much, but it was familiar- and safe. There was no way I would let Victoria win this battle.
When we arrived home I stormed up to my room, followed by Dad and Victoria. "Talley," Dad started, "you know that Victoria and I only want what's best for you."
"No, Dad," I said rebelliously. "I don't. Victoria wants me out of the house and you're just too scared to stand up to her. How could you, Dad?" I asked desperately. "You're a coward!"
"Scott," said Victoria, "why don't you go downstairs. Talley and I can have some good 'girl talk' here."
After he left, Victoria closed my door and sat down on my bed. An evil glint in her eyes, she said softly, "What's wrong with going away to school? What would you be missing here? You don't have any friends..."
Her words stung me to the core. I knew it was true, but it was malicious for her to say it. Still, I looked her straight in the eye and didn't back down.
"...and maybe even you could have a chance at Duneview. What do you have to lose?"
"Home," I replied promptly. "I've lived here forever."
"Ah," she said, her voice slowly rising, "So you would miss comfort. Is that it?"
I couldn't tell where this was going, but I knew I didn't like it. Hesitantly, I nodded. "Well, yeah..."
"No," Victoria said. A small smile was on her face. "You would miss familiarity. You would miss safety. You called you father a coward, Talbot, but you and I know that you're the real coward here. You've always been that way. You're too scared to order pizza on the phone. You're too scared to ask a stranger for directions. You're too scared to begin any friendships. And now you're too scared to go away from what you're used to, even if there's the possibility that it could be a good change. You, my dear, are the coward."
Angry tears welled up in my eyes. It wasn't because Victoria was trying to insult me. It was because I knew it was true. Sometimes I hated myself for my lack of bravery. All my life I had struggled with my stupid, restricting, hateful cowardice. Now was my chance to break my chains. I would go to the dumb school. I would prove that I could be brave to Victoria... and to myself.
"You're wrong, Vic," I said, my voice shaking. "I- I'll go to whatever it's called. But it's not for you," I added quickly. "I suppose now you're happy that I'll be gone, but I'll be glad to get away from you."
Victoria laughed. "My dear, you would have gone whether you wanted to or not. I'm glad I've been able to... persuade you, shall I say? But of course," she went on in a over-exaggerated mockery of her falsely kind voice, "this is all for the benefit of you."
She got up and walked over to the chair in which I was sitting and put a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged her off and flung myself face-down onto my bed. I only half-heard what she said next: something some niece of hers. I was too emotionally drained to care.
"Just get out!" I yelled at Victoria. "You have what you wanted so leave me alone!"
"Yes, Talbot Burnet," she said on her way out of the door. "I do have what I wanted. You have finally learned that I will always get what I want. I will always win."
Regaining my composure, I said, "I decided of my own accord to go ahead with this plan. You have not won, Victoria. You never will against me." My voice was rising the whole while. I finally shouted, "Don't you ever forget that! Victoria, you are an evil woman. Those like me will always triumph over you!"
Energy was surging through my veins. I had never felt like this before. Evidently, Victoria was as surprised as I was.
"Now- now don't get excited," she said, flustered. She quickly walked out of my room and slammed the door. I could hear her run downstairs. Now that I was finally alone I threw myself back onto the bed to cry myself to sleep.