Aisilmi here chapter two the love relic! Sorry about the last one it had too much implied beating so Im going to try to conform to expectable humor, which makes me sad. [Spanish meets English pun.] (actions) thoughts [writers note] 'illegal word' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Begins with Mint bossing around servants in the guest room with Rue who is deeply contemplating the change in Claire.)

Mint: servant! Go get me some food and take a bath you smell like pumpkins!

Rue: Claire what happened to you? You became so different

Mint: Stupid! Stupid! GET TO WORK!

Rue: Mint?

Mint: CAN'T you see IM DIRECTING THE FEEBLE MINDED! (classic Mint stomp)

Rue: yes I can see your yelling but I have something to ask you.

Mint: oh right right (mint sits down and flits her orange hair with the back of her hand)

Rue: um well can I-uh can I move in with you? You see Claire and I haven't been getting along lately and you're the only one with a guarded castle that I know.

Mint: HM let me think about it (pauses) NO!

Rue: what why not? (blink blink)

Mint: because I said so.

Rue: Please! Mint Im begging you (gets down on his knees) I need you? Claire always asked me to beg for her (sniff) Claire

Mint: he needs me? Maybe after all that Claire trouble he realized he had feelings for me and.. FINE! But you got to become my personal guard!

Rue: (sweat drop) no common I'd rather be cook then watch you all day. Since when do you need protection anyhow?

Mint: I don't but my father demanded I get a guard and I don't want it to be someone I don't know.

(A guy with crimson hair and eyes entered guest room. He was so striking even in his cotton plaid shirt and dirty blue jeans that he almost fell out of place next to the dull looking Rue.)

Mint: I want it to be him! (points at the bishie)

Crimson hair guy: (pops in between them tilting his head and looking at Mint) yo Im looking for a ugly bratty princess named mint, have you seen her around here?

Rue: (stares at the guy) she's right next to you.

Mint: UGLY WHO ARE YOU CALLING UG-(Rue watches in horror as the crimson haired mystery man kisses mint.)

Crimson haired guy: In that case I Flick am not going to hate working for you! Im best at protecting beautiful women! (peace sign)

Mint: my first kiss (blushes)

Rue: Hey why the 'heck' did you go and do that! Im her personal guard so I have to beat the living 'crud' out of you now! WHAT is this feeling? I've never felt it before

Mint: you'll be my bodyguard?

Rue & Flick: Of course! (pause) hey she was talking to me!

Mint: huh that was an impossible occurrence? Their train of thought must be the same

(Rue and Flick stare each other down)

Rue: you ringo flavored! Kissing bluffer fish! Womanizer!

Flick: you yuki flavored! Not out of closet yet blow fish! Homo! (all so said in unison)

Mint: you can both be my body guards! It will be great! yes two hot guys

Rue: fine but I don't like it (sits down on the bed) EVER since that jerk kissed her I've wanted to kill him. I just can't explain it. I've never been violent before

Flick: whatever. Hey mint how about a date? (clasps Mints hands in his own)

Mint: sorry but today Im searching for the relic to take over the world! (gets out her magic rings)

Flick: (waves a mini-flag) Oh I just love a women with spirit -heart

Rue: (glares at Flick) Stupid.

Flick: (glares back) fag.

Rue: (glowers) 'Arse'.

Flick: nice retort where'd you learn that chrono cross?

Mint: come on! Guys It's called LOVE relic not STUPID guy fight (stomps so hard the stone floor is dented [its marble which is like dun soft rock])

(the three exit)

Narrator: What a handsome new bishie this Flick is. Looks like Rue's got his cheating cut out for him.

(fade in on a forest)

Mint: welcome to Saijukan!

Flick: Saijukan? Mink that means in--- oh well you have me as your bodyguard. (hugs mint from behind resting his head on her shoulder)

Mint: And Rue too! an altar should be around here somewhere! (breaks free of Flick and runs off)

Flick: hey you come back here don't think Im done with you yet Mint-tea (runs after her)

Rue: I don't care (turns around) what I don't? (pause) Ne! wait from me Mint (funs too)

(fade in at an altar)

Mint: Flick look it's the blood bath altar hey where's Rue?

Flick: Oh yah he stayed behind guess its just you and me all alone Mint-tea- poo!

Mint: don't just add thingys to my name

(Rue arrives)

Rue: god it was hell getting here because of all those holes

Mint: what holes?

Flick: (hides a shovel behind his back)

Rue: (glare) you ditch digging army 'illegitimate son'

Flick: shut up you 'fruit cup' dress wearer I may did holes but Im not 'gluteus maximus hole' like you!

Mint: guys stop it! No need to swear!

Rue & Flick: swear you think we can swear?

Rue: ya we sound like total 'pussycats' using these words

Mint: (stomps) I don't give a 'crud' so you can all shut the 'frock' up. It's illegal to swear in east heaven kingdom so go to 'heck' (Mint walks along for a bit then trips and both guys run to save her)

Flick: I was here first! (grabs Mint by the hips)

Rue: NO! I was (punches him in the head)

Mint: hay its illegal to have rough and persistent violence

Flick: fight club had mad violence it was pg-13

Rue: it was not it was R you 'cephaloper percussionist'!

Flick: whatever you 'inebriate guttersnipe'

Mint: hay look at what I tripped on it's a blue solid substance

Rue: It's a rock mint

Flick: aoi Iwa desu

Rue: ok fine a BLUE rock

Mint: Rue don't you recognize this blue?

Rue: no why would I?

Mint: IT'S A shard (stomps)

Rue: a shard of what?

Mint: remember how the dew prism was destroyed?

Rue: ya?

Mint: well it was the strongest power in the universe! Don't you think it left remnants? I'd know this color anywhere (picks up the dew prism shard) wee power I've got a new magic! It's.. it's Pink magic! I wonder what it does (uses a little)

Flick: don't know (shrugs) maybe it makes you happy I feel a little happier

Rue: ya me too but that's it I'm so happy I want to kiss you mint

Mint: damn nothing changed I'll learn how to use it from prima or Klaus maybe he can help.

Rue: mint I don't want to walk to Carona.

Flick: yah I didn't like the game halo either.

Rue: Carona not Corona

Mint: come on foreigners should get a break

Flick: Mint-tea saved me (hugs her)

Rue: god 'darn' you Jerk (takes a good swing at Flick with his arc edge but Flick jumps out of the way swiftly anticipating the attack and Rue almost hits Mint)

Flick: what the 'heck' was that Rue? (Flick pushes him to the ground) you could have hurt someone! You nearly hurt Mint!

Rue: he's right damn I feel like I lost some how humph.. I'd never hurt Mint.

Flick: whatever lets go to Carona! (Fades out)

Narrator: And so Rue, Flick, and Mint walked to Carona where they'd talk with Prima and Klaus about prism shards.

Mint: ugh. (collapses on the street)

Flick & Rue: (look up her dress) mm.. You pervert! If you don't tell I don't tell! (pause) fine.

Rue: Mint are you ok? (grabs her right arm)

Flick: Mint are you alright? (grabs her left arm)

(they both lift her up)

Rue: heh she's just tired (kisses her cheek) least she's quiet when she's sleeping.

Flick: yah she's cuter this way too (also kisses her cheek) want to gang rape her?

Rue: ok! this is probably a bad idea

Flick: dude I was just kidding

Rue: me too...

Rod: Hey Rue and random crimson haired guy (gapes at mint) Oh my god that's mint?

Rue: yah she's asleep not dead don't worry

Flick: we didn't do anything sick either

Rue: don't chime in random things like that! (Flick smiles evilly and pokes mint's chest)

Mint: huh? Oh guys (twists free)

Rod: Mint would you like to go out some time?

Mint: huh? Why are you asking me to fight you cause I kicked your 'arse' so many times! (stomps) [mints awake back to east heaven rules]

Rod: Its not that I just have this incredible urge to ask you out!

(Rue & Flick glare)

Flick & Rue: she's mine! (punches thrown between them) Mine! (Rue and Flick wrestle to the floor) Fine you can half! (they lick their wounds) I want the lower half! You would! (more punches thrown)

Mint: what they are getting worse? We could so have a mid summer night's dream here if Claire ever found out!

Rue: your right... (Rue stands up) sorry Flick you can have her

Flick: mer-ha-ha (hugs Mint) Mint-tea poo lets do have some fun in that alley

Rod: (punches flick in the face and he falls to the ground) so mint how about it?

Mint: no way it would be a cold day in 'heck' he-he-what the 'HECK'!? (jumps up and to her dismay every male in carona's there even klaus)

The male population: Mint would you please go out with me?

Mint: (stomps on the ground) 'HECKS' no!

The male population: (cri cri cri)

Mint: don't cri cri cri Jack Jack Jack now be on your way!

The Male population: wai wai wai (all smile at once) [estranged inside joke]

Mint: that's it!! that's it!! this is too weird! (stomps)

(Mint goes to Mira and Klaus's house leaving all the guys behind)

Mint: oh my god (falls down and lays on her back)

Prima: hi! Mint! I just wanted to see you it's kinda funny it's like fate meant us to be together! (does his stupid prima spaz jumpy twirl)

Mint: uh god another one... Prima what do you think a prism shard would do?

Prima: well Dad says the prism was a collection of things one shard would be uh.. any power but ultimate control over that power. The shard you'd have to master it before use.

Mint: That must be it the shard makes every one love me that would make it a love relic

Prima: NOW MINT since I explained something to you and you didn't zone you get a present!

Mint: Present you don't have anything I want.

Prima: sure I do

Mint: where is it then?

Prima: in my pants!

Mint: Ah! Prima you're a kid that's sick! (runs downstairs and barricades the door shut) oh 'crud' lets see.. 'darn' I don't know how to work it!

(Flick pops up)

Flick: hey Mint-tea

Mint: how do you stop a force from continuing?

Flick: silly girl (pushes her down to the floor and lays on top of her) you just hold it down and tell it what to do.

Mint: LET your love for me compel you stop! Stop because you love me!

Flick: yo-yose.. (gets up blushing) sorry I just... god what was I doing?

Mint: Stupid shard! (holds it up)

Rue: more like clump (randomly appeared)

Mint: Stop working you stupid 'bish'!

Shard: mer..

(mint passes out)

Rue & Flick: this is all your fault you know! (paues) my fault?

(fades into the cabin)

Claire: Rue where are you.? Has my fondness driven you away? [Elizabethan English meets new English pun.] (lays down in a dark corner and mopes) Its all that stupid mints fault he was always talking about you. Is it my fault I got jealous? So what if I hurt Rue, RUES MINE... Rues.. mine.

Guard: Claire we've been kicked out of the fic.

Claire: Oh, right beating main character. Hey what did you do?

Guard: Don't know guess they just didn't like my name. (The guard pulls out some lotion) would you like a foot massage?

Narrator: and so the Guard and Claire had long foot massages in the day and soup making in the evening and at night they 'played sumo'.

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yup yup the end of chapter 2 I write these things like in an hour its mad fun! Some people take days to do this stuff!