Color of Distress

                Disclaimer – Not mine, not mine, not mine. Once more! Not mine.

                A/N – Here's another one of the boring transitional chapters where I get a bit philosophical. What can you do?? But I've also decided to give Legolas a bit of a break in this chapter to catch his breath. Enjoy!

                Chapter 11 – "Feel that it is false."

                Legolas turned onto his side and blinked his eyes open. He felt a light cover slip off his chest as he sat up. Legolas did not move, but sat, trying to think intently. His surroundings were distinctly familiar, and his bow and arrow lay to one side. Sunlight poured in from above through a delicate lattice of leaves on the ceiling, and a fragrant scent of flowers drifted lazily in the air.

                Finally he stood up and looked down at the bed he was lying in. He could not shake the feeling that he knew this place. Legolas stepped through a carved doorway and stood on a small balcony overlooking several magnificent trees.

                Legolas turned around quickly as he heard footsteps approach him from behind, and his mouth opened in complete shock as a strand of pale hair entered his vision.

                Immediately, all his fear washed away. The weight he felt so much on lifted, and his heart became light once again.

                "Ada." Legolas breathed, and his vision wavered as tears of joy gathered in his eyes. "I have missed you."

                Thranduil smiled at his son, but his eyes were solemn. "Legolas."

                Legolas felt ashamed. He would normally never be so emotional when he met his father after an absence. He brushed his tears quickly aside and stood slightly apart from the older elf.

                "Galadriel has spoken to me about you."

                Legolas nodded mutely.

                Everything will be fine now.

                Thranduil sighed. "Why don't we pretend that we are back in Mirkwood again, and that you are a child again, when you once believed I could solve every problem? Tell me all that has happened to you."

                "Are we not in Mirkwood now?" Legolas asked, wistfully reaching out to touch a flower.

                "We are in your memory of our home." He paused, then went on. "Galadriel has told me some about the voice, but I do not know enough to be able to help you."

                Legolas shivered. "It is more than a voice now." He said softly, remembering. Forgetting his earlier embarrassment, he sat on the floor by his father and laid his head on Thranduil's knee like he did as a child.

                "What has it done?" Thranduil laid a warm hand on the top of Legolas' head.

                Legolas tightly closed his eyes. "It took me inside a nightmare."

                There was silence, and a morose whisper.

                "And I killed Aragorn."

                "I refuse to believe that." Thranduil's voice was sharp. "It made you believe that you killed him."

                "But Gimli saw." Legolas' heaviness returned in full force.

                He cannot change the fact I killed Aragorn.

                "Gimli?" 

                "One of my companions in the fellowship." Legolas said, realizing his father would not have known.

                "Gimli or not, you did not kill that man. Legolas, it is deceiving you." Thranduil said firmly. "Use your senses; feel that it is false. Fight it."

                Legolas found his head suddenly unsupported and fell over. He quickly stood up and was in the misty fields again. He saw the body of Aragorn and turned away from in, recoiling. He turned back to it as he heard his father's words resonating in his ears.

                Legolas stepped closer to it and used more than his sense of sight and touch. He rediscovered his innate elven knowledge, buried by his time in suffering and fear. He could not feel in the body traces of a quality he could not describe, but knew should be there even if Aragorn appeared to be dead.

                As he made the realization, the body faded and disappeared.  

                At the same time, a deep and mocking voice began speaking to him, creeping into his ears in all directions. It was a voice he knew well.

                "You now believe you can fight me."

                "You are quite wrong."

                With a shudder, Legolas realized that the voice was real and not like the false body of Aragorn. "Who are you?"

                "I am you."

                "Stop lying to me. I know who I am, and you are not me." Legolas said angrily. "You made me believe I had murdered Aragorn, when I never could have. I demand that you show yourself to me!"

                There was silence.

                Legolas had suddenly returned to his room in Mirkwood.

                "The voice is powerful. It was enough to interrupt our conversation." Thranduil stated lowly. "There are few things strong enough to break communication between elves."

                "It would not show itself to me." Legolas said.

                Thranduil nodded with satisfaction. "Then it is afraid of you."

                "I am more afraid of it."

                Thranduil held Legolas by the shoulders tightly. "You must not think like that." He let Legolas go after a long moment. "There is another matter. Galadriel has also spoken to me of the nwalya faire. She believes she has made a mistake in giving it to you, if you feel so strongly about it."

                "I do. It makes me sleep very deeply, and the voice can do much more than speak when I am unconscious." Legolas said, suppressing shivers.

                "It is also what allowed me to speak with you like this." Thranduil added sadly. "You are still young, and this cannot take place while you are awake."

                "How did Galadriel know about all this?" Legolas walked slowly around his room, touching familiar objects and holding close the memory of them.

                "She looked into the mirror." Thranduil answered, and impulsively held his son tightly to himself in a warm embrace. "Legolas, nin ionnath mell, Estel-i guren." (Legolas, my beloved son. Trust in your heart.)

                "Innas-im nin guren bed enni." Legolas replied, grateful for the moment of affection. It fed his small conviction that he would be able to defeat the voice, and made him stronger. (I will do what my heart tells me.)    

                 "You will need to wake up soon." Thranduil said. "Your companions will be moving on."

                "I know." Legolas said quietly. "But I am ready."

                "Namaarie." (Farewell.)

                "Mennai govannen-ad." (Until we meet again.) 

                Aragorn squeezed water out of a cloth and gently wiped Legolas' face. He was encouraged when he saw that color was beginning to return to Legolas' cheeks, and his breathing ceased to be shallow and irregular. Legolas' eyes had opened slowly through the night, indicating normal slumber.

                Dawn was beginning to break and the land was silent, but punctuated with the deep snores of Gimli and the lighter wheezy ones of Sam. Aragorn dipped the cloth into the basin again and squeezed the water out, about to wipe Legolas' forehead.

                "I think," the elf murmured. "That although you have the best intentions, you are dripping water in my eyes on purpose."

                "You are awake." Aragorn said, slightly unnerved. "Why didn't you say something?"

                "I just woke up." Legolas corrected, sitting up. His expression was pained. "I am truly sorry… for what had happened. I would never draw a sword, or any other weapon, against you." He looked at Aragorn's expression and continued. "I could see what was happening. I tried to fight against it, but I could not win. I did not believe I could win. Forgive me."

                Aragorn shook his head. "And you must forgive me. I never thought that I could draw a sword with the intention to kill you, but I did. And if it were not for Gimli, I might have."

                Legolas smiled. "Kill me? You are horrible. I only had the intention to seriously maim you."

                With the joke, Aragorn knew everything was forgiven. "You nearly took off my head, actually."

                There was a loud yawn as Gimli woke, rubbing his eyes fuzzily. "Ah, Legolas, you have awakened."

                Legolas lowered his head in acknowledgement to Gimli. "You are a true friend." He said solemnly. "For stopping me."

                Gimli was embarrassed. "I… I'm not that wonderful.  I sat on you and force fed you what you though was poison." 

                "It was what you thought was best." Legolas said. "And that was what I wanted to speak about, and it must be now before the others rise. I have spoken to my father, who has in turn recently spoken with Galadriel."

                "Why you were asleep?" Aragorn asked.

                "Yes. I will no longer take the nwayla faire. The voice can reach me easier when I am unconscious. And… it becomes more than a voice." Legolas said lowly.

                Gimli looked mortified. "If I had known…" he buried his head in his knees and began muttering to himself. At length he looked up, directly at Legolas. "Forgive me."

                "There is much you must forgive me for as well." Legolas answered. "But I have said it already; you thought it was best."

                "And what did you father say?" Aragorn asked.

                "He told me to keep heart. I am gladdened that he spoke with me. To see my home in a strange time was comforting." Legolas said. In his mind, he was running under the stars and branches found in Mirkwood. He sighed. "But it will return. It is intent on your deaths. It has told me so."

                Gimli was not completely shocked by the statement because it was said so plainly. Aragorn remained expressionless, waiting to hear the elf out.

                "I have made a decision." Legolas said haltingly. He took deep breaths wonderingly, feeling the air wash in and out of him. "And I hope you will… respect it and oblige me." Legolas felt his chest constrict suddenly, and his head was light. He searched for words as his heart pounded within him. "If I ever attempt to hurt you… or try to slay you… I want you to kill me first."

                Gimli was blank for a moment, and regained his wits quickly. "Absolutely not!" he said loudly. "I refuse to hear of this."

                "Gimli, you must understand. I was not able to control myself last night. I was trapped in a hell. I could never allow myself to kill friends, but under the voice, I have no choice. It is one way I can defeat it." Legolas replied, and he suddenly realized the impact of his words, and what he was trying to convince his friends to do.

                "You are wrong." The dwarf's voice shook. "Dying is like giving up. And do you think we can live with your blood spilt by our hands?"

                  "I would not be able to live with your blood on my hands. I would kill myself if it happened. In then end, the same thing would be accomplished, except you are dead as well." Legolas said, and turned slowly to Aragorn, afraid of his reaction.

                "I cannot agree to this." Aragorn stated slowly. He remembered the written pleas at Lothlorien and his cries from the previous night. "But I see what you are saying. You are immortal. It may haunt you for the rest of your life. You think it would be better to die. And you fear it may try to harm us."

                "Aragorn, how can you allow such madness?" Gimli demanded, but lowered his voice quickly after a nervous glance at the sleeping Boromir.

                "I did not agree to it." Aragorn said. "I merely said that I understand what he is thinking. Legolas, would it not be better to fight it?"

                "I have tried, and failed!" Legolas cried in a high voice. "And the fighting does nothing but drain me! Look at me. Look at my eyes. I am still young, yet I am weary of living already!"

                "Legolas. You said your father told you to keep heart. This is an act of desperation. I will not allow it to happen in any circumstance." Gimli said firmly. "But I will keep faith in you, and I will continue to help you. I will not kill you, even if you try to kill me."

                "I… I must still make my decision. There is too much to think about, and it should not be hasty." Aragorn said finally.

                "You can't be serious!" Gimli shouted wildly. He grabbed Aragorn and shook him. "You are supposed to say no!"

                " Calm yourself. I have yet to decide. But if I were in Legolas' position, I would ask you to do the same." Aragorn said, and placed a hand on Legolas' back. "But as Gimli said, I will keep faith as well, and I will fight with you. My decision will be made if the time ever comes."

                "And I pray that it will never." Gimli muttered.

                Legolas nodded. "Thank you." He whispered, and had to be content with their replies. "The others are rising now. We should prepare to leave."

To be continued…

I've always liked to think that elves could communicate telekinetically, as long as they were experienced enough. I've just humoured myself with the Legolas and Thranduil meeting. You can ignore it completely if you didn't like it. Okay, eleven chapters and we're nearing… doo doo DOOO… the inevitable death of Boromir. And that will take a couple more chapters. I need to speed things up.

Anyways, last time I mentioned I wanted to start a new fic, but it won't be soon. I take a while to formulate ideas and events and stuff, and I don't want it to interfere with this fic. I liked the childhood idea with Elrohir and Elladen, and I think I'm going to go with it. Here's what I know about them, correct me if I'm wrong: They are the sons of Elrond, twins, with brown hair. They never travelled across the sea…. And um. They are Arwen's brother! I know pathetically little. If you do know more, I would be grateful for information.

Thanks to the reviewers who keep the fic going, without encouragement I would have let it die off. Here they are, in no particular order – MiriGreenleaf, Imaginator, merrylyn, Lel Vagor, Silent Angel, Raiden-sama, O.B.I.M., Erhothwen, RainyDayz/Azalea, Dream Keeper, Syslink, Houki, SiHansonWeasleyGamgee, Soulsearcher-Arbariel, Musicgrl, Imirie, Kwartziel, Cheysuli, Elven Fair, Skye, eveyen, Lady-Daine, goblz.

MiriGreenleaf: You have me a bit confused. Do you mean that Aragorn could have had the dream as well?

Merrlyn: *running away shrieking* Gimli's underpants??? I don't want to think about it. But we can start discussing Legolas' underpants….

Erhothwen: Much thanks for the fic idea. It's now brewing in the depths of my brain….

RainyDayz: I liked do the Boromir thing. But I don't know, after I read it again, he seems OOC. Is he normally slow-witted?

Dreamkeeper: I was thinking of adding more Merry and Pippin… but Legolas would be incredibly mean to them. Because of the nasty voice. Which I have yet to reveal.  Which is revealed with the arrival of Gandalf. Which will take a bit more time. *sighs* There's so much to do!!!

Soulsearcher-arbariel: Oh, good. I LOVE your fic. I agree, I don't like Boromir much either, but Faramir's alright. No worries, 'cause Boromir is nearing death!!! HAHAH!! Hm…. I need to act less psychotic sometimes.

Cheysuli: With my dim-witted, OOC Boromir, he did not see anything…. *hit with inspiration* He could see something before getting shot to death!!! *gasp* Must think hard on this.

Elven Fair : I don't write this with a specific depth to it… finding hidden meanings is kind of scary. But the whole Legolas abuse thing wouldn't work out because I have Thranduil as quite a good father in this fic. What's ironic is I'm analyzing poetry in English class, and I always feel were over-analyzing. I'll bet most poets don't think of deeper meaning, yet we find them.

Orli92003: *holds up the voice* Slap away!

Lady-Daine : Seems like a lot of people dislike Boromir. He was a bit of a fool. And I really liked your idea, although I've never tried AU before. Maybe I will…. I kinda like that sort of evil childhood friend thing. It sounds so dark and shivery…. I know I will eventually get to it, after this one, and maybe at the same time I'm writing the childhood one. Really appreciate the idea, thank you very much.

Goblz – The Aragorn OOC thing? I felt it too. But I didn't want to change it. Aragorn's human, he's bound to get really angry, Legolas touched on sore spots… big explosion. Once his anger cooled, he can forgive readily. That was my theory, if you don't agree with it, that's fine, I really don't mind all that much. And thanks for the reviews, I think this is the second one I received with bits of helpful criticism in it. Although I do prefer non-stop flattery. ^_^

Another chapter done…. another one to write! As usual, leave me an e-mail address if you want me to contact you with updates, although it's become unnecessary now because I always update on Wednesday. I guess it's for the direct link then, or a chapter that was done early and posted early. 

Until the next chapter!