CHAPTER 12

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, although I wish I did because I'd find a way to put Angel and Buffy back together; where they belong. You will also notice that I've snagged some lines from a few episodes on either Buffy or Angel.

Summary: What if the Oracles had in fact restored Angel to his vampire state instead of taking back the day (In "I Will Remember You" on Angel) so that a prophesized miracle could occur?

Historical Note: This trilogy takes place between the fourth and fifth season of Buffy, and between the first and second season of Angel. You may also notice some of the later elements are from later seasons of either show.

Author's note: this trilogy will go back and fourth between Sunnydale and L.A. More so in this first series. The second there isn't much crossover's going on, there may be a few though. I really tried to keep to both shows storylines as much as possible. Some events (The Glory bit in season 5 on Buffy for example) will be either pushed back or taken out in general. These events may have been important on the shows, but not in this story.

And Just to let everyone know so that there is no confusion, Darla was never resurrected in season 1 finale of Angel. So none of that Darla stuff ever happened. Yep, instead of Darla giving birth to Connor, Buffy will. As far as I can tell so far, the 'Connor' story line will remain the same. I'm still debating about the Cordy/Connor thing tho. Who else was going 'eww!' when that scene with Cordy and Connor in 'Apocalypse, Nowish' aired??!

The next day, Buffy awoke to find Angel gone. Trying to stay calm, she quickly sat up. As she got up, she felt a sharp pain across her side and remembered her injury she had gotten last night from Faith. She carefully got up and began to look around for him.

"Angel?" she called out as she entered another room. The room remained silent. "Angel?" she called out again, getting more and more worried. Thousands of different horrible thoughts entered her mind to why Angel wasn't anywhere to be found. Oh god, maybe Faith got up in the middle of the night and... She felt Goosebumps run up her arm as she felt a hand on her back. Buffy quickly spun around and jumped when she saw Angel behind her.

"I'm sorry I scared you," Angel apologized.

"Oh god, Angel," Buffy said as she hugged him. "Where were you. I thought-"

"I killed him?" Faith finished. She shook her head. "Nope. He was just coming in to check up on me," Faith explained as she walked into the room. Buffy looked at her.

"Faith. Your up," she said as she let go of Angel, and stood beside him.

"Good morning to you too, B," Faith said still standing in the hallway.

"Yeah, well, when you get slashed in the ribs, and is forced to sleep on a very old; very uncomfortable couch, mornings tend to be bad," Buffy explained.

"Yeah, about last night; sorry. I was a little-"

"Crazy?" Buffy finished. Faith nodded.

"Yeah. But Angel here's been talking to me all morning about the whole being good again thing," she explained. "Doesn't sound that...hard," Faith said making a face. "Just, impossible for me to do," she added. Buffy looked up at Angel.

"I'm going to Giles house, call Cordelia; see how Connor's doing, and see how he made it through the night," Buffy said. "I'll take the car," Buffy said as she held out her hand for the keys. Angel looked at her worriedly for a second.

"Angel give me the keys. I promise I won't wreck the car," she told him. He still didn't seem convinced. "Angel. I haven't seen Connor for almost twenty-four hours. I would like to go call Cordy and see how he's doing," Buffy explained more determinedly. Angel sighed as he pulled out the keys to his car and placed them in her hand.

"Please don't wreck it, and remind me to teach you how to drive when were not so busy," Angel told her.

"I will. I'll see you later," she promised as she kissed him goodbye. She then looked at Faith as she walked off.

"Wow, B's really got that whole 'mother thing' down, doesn't she?" Faith noted.

"Yeah she does," Angel agreed. Faith nodded.

"How old is..." Faith trailed off, forgetting the baby's name.

"Connor. He's, um, three months old," Angel told her uneasily. He didn't know if it was safe to be talking about Connor with Faith, just in case she was faking.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm not going to take your kid. I was just curious. I mean, it's not everyday a Slayer gives birth, and especially when the father of the child is a vampire, Angelus to be precise; Whom was once the Scourge of Europe. Now that's something to be proud of," she told him

"Faith, I'm not Angelus anymore. I haven't been him for a while now."

"Right," Faith said as she walked into the kitchen. "You and Buffy seem happy," she noted.

"Yeah. Were happy," he told her. Faith looked at him and smiled.

"But your Curse holds you two back from fully being happy," She guessed. Angel thought about her comment. It was true, the curse was still there, which sometimes made things hard for them. Hopefully someday they'd find a cure or spell for it; in the meantime, they'd just have to deal with the present. "But you two still get to live your lives together; happy; while I end up rotting," Faith said, bringing Angel back from his mid drifting.

"Faith, its going to be hard, but I promise I won't give up on you," he told her as he walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Faith looked up at him.

"Help me," she asked him. "Angel, I need help. I can't do this alone, and I don't wanna be like this anymore," she confessed.

"Yeah," he agreed. She smiled faintly, then focused on the box of doughnuts Angel had picked up before dawn. He hadn't wanted to leave Buffy alone in the mansion with Faith, but he knew they'd all be hungry when they woke up, and there was no food around.

"So, how does this work? This whole 'redemption thing'?" she asked before taking a bite of a doughnut. Angel sighed as he walked over to her.

"There's no real simple answer to that," he told her. "I won't lie to you and tell you it'll be easy, 'cause it won't be. Just because you've decided to change, doesn't mean the world's ready for you to," he explained.

"The truth is, no matter how much you suffer, no matter how many good deeds you do, to try to make up for the past, you may never balance out the cosmic scale. The only thing I can promise you is that you'll probably be haunted, and maybe for the rest of your life," he finished explaining.

"What about you? I mean, haven't you made amends?" she asked. Angel shook his head.

"I may never be able to make amends and to atone for all I've done in the past," he told her. "I may not be Angelus anymore, but the memories are still there. I still fight evil every day, and try to make amends for what I did. I only became a human that one time 'cause the Powers That Be needed another champion, so they had to make me human for it to happen," he began. Faith looked at him.

"Connor?" She asked. Angel nodded.

"Does B know about Connor?" She asked.

"Yeah she does. She wasn't exactly thrilled about Connor's destiny in the beginning, but I think she just realized no matter how much she resented it, it was meant to be," he told her. Angel decided to change the subject. "Look, Faith, I'm willing to help you, but you've gotta want to change. I'll keep Buffy away if it'll be easier, but you've gotta want to change," he told her.

"Oh god, B. How am I ever gonna make things right with her?" Faith asked remembering all she had done to Buffy while she was working with the Mayor in Sunnydale, and for what she had done to her last night.

"Faith, this isn't about Buffy," he told her.

"All my life, there was only one person who tried to be my friend, went out of their way, when I had no right or reason to expect her to, and I betrayed her," she explained to him.

"Faith-"

"I mean last night. The things I said to her; how I must have hurt her. I can't just walk up to her and tell her that I'm sorry for slashing her in the side, and for saying such horrible things to her," Faith went on. "I want to make things right with her," she admitted.

"First you have to ask yourself if that's what you really want to do," Angel told her. Faith nodded.

"I really want to Angel. I mean, I owe it to her for all the things I put her through back in Sunnydale," she told him honestly.

"Alright. We can start there then," he told her. "But first, why don't you eat and get cleaned up while I go get her," he told her. She looked at him for a second.

"You will be here when I get back, right?" he asked. Faith nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'll be here," she told him. Angel looked at her for a second.

"I swear," she assured him.

"Alright. I'll be right back with them," he said as he opened up a trap door on the floor.

"Angel wait. What makes you think she's going to want to bring Connor here with me here?" she asked. Angel smiled.

"I'll talk to her," he said before he jumped down. Faith waited until she was sure Angel was gone before she dropped to the floor and began to cry. She couldn't believe that she had let her life go so wrong.

* * *

By the time Angel arrived back with Buffy through a secret underground way; Faith had already taken a shower and eaten, and was now sitting on the couch. She quickly got up as she caught view of Buffy walk into the room. Faith quickly walked towards them.

"Buffy, I..." she began. Buffy looked at her backed up a littler, her defenses obviously up. Faith took a step back.

"I'm so sorry for everything I've done," she finally said.

"Oh, your sorry? Sorry for slashing me in my side last night? Sorry for trying to kill me and my friends back in Sunnydale, and last night? For trying to kill Angel with a poisonous dart back around Graduation?" Buffy said with a mix of hurt and Anger in her voice. She then walked towards Faith.

"Yeah, for all the above," Faith said to her with a saddened expression. "I'm so sorry for all of the pain and the hurt I've caused you," she told her. Buffy looked at her.

"Buffy, come on," Angel said from behind her. Buffy's gaze kept locked onto Faith.

"I just want to make things right with you, B," Faith told her honestly. Buffy stopped herself from laughing out loud. She could tell Faith was serious.

"Faith, things between you and I may never be right again," Buffy began. "A lot has happened between us," she reminded her. "You've done things… I may never be able to trust you again," she finished. Faith looked back down to the ground.

"But I'm willing to try and start over," Buffy said, surprising Faith.

She looked up. "You really mean it B?"

"Well, I'm not guaranteeing anything. It'll be a long time coming before I can ever completely trust you again, if ever," Buffy warned.

" I know; I respect that." The room fell silent. Faith's gaze fell to buffy's side as she remembered slicing her side open just the night before. The lives she had taken then came back, haunting her once more.

"Faith, what is it, what 's wrong?" Angel asked noticing the change in her facial expression. She quickly ran her hand through her hair uneasily.

"I can't do this, I'm sorry," she said as she grabbed her coat and ran out the door. Buffy started to run, but the gash on her side forced her to stop and clutch her side.

"Buffy, don't," he told her as he reached out with one hand to help her up.

"We've gotta let Giles and the gang know that we've made a break through, then we need to go after her again. She may try to hurt herself Buffy; she's still emotionally unstable," he told her.

"You're right," she said as she lifted up her shirt and checked her wound and noticed it needed to be re-bandaged; Angel noticed it as well.

"Let's get you taken care of first," he told her as he motioned to a seat Buffy then sat down, as Angel pulled out some more bandages from a bag and knelt down in front of her. He then lifted up the side of her shirt. He couldn't help but to stare at her bare stomach. He then realized he was staring, and began to re-bandage her.