Color of Distress
Disclaimer – Lord of the Rings, and the bit of the elvish hymn I used, and Aragorn and Boromir and Merry and Pippin and Frodo and Sam and Legolas and Gimli and any other person I mention or use in this story belongs to JRR Tolkien. I suppose that means the voice is mine. But I don't really want it.
A/N – This chapter nearly didn't get through for Wednesday. I was so stumped as how to get through this running period for them, so I decided do it in weird clumps of time. As to whether the three stopped for breaks and food and what not (because I distinctly remember Gimli complaining about the lack of breaks they had in the movie), for the purposes of this fic, they stopped to sleep. Sorry for the crappiness and repetitiveness of Chapter 14, I honestly had major problems getting through this one.
Chapter 14 – "Look to me."
Instead of turning east into Mordor, like they originally should have done, they turned west, in the direction of Rohan, following the orcs that had carried away Merry and Pippin, presumably to Isengard. As the sun began to set, and the night began to rise, the uruks showed no signs of stopping.
Aragorn stopped and rubbed his tired arms wearily, while Gimli fell to the ground next to him, trying to catch his breath. Legolas turned around to look at them briefly, and turning back to watch the writhing, running black mass of the orcs.
"The distance between us grows further with every minute." Legolas said, but went to stand by his friends while they recovered.
"We cannot go on like this." Gimli said, looking up. "We must rest sometime, and so must those cursed orcs."
Aragorn shook his head. "They do not look like they will stop for an army of a thousand men. What do you think, Legolas? You are not yet weary. Shall we continue after them?"
Legolas urgently wanted to keep running, but he did not want to force them into something they could not do if they were exhausted. Nor did he want to split up and go after the orcs alone, mostly because he was afraid the voice would return without Aragorn or Gimli by his side. His head began to ache with the effort of this decision. What good could possibly come of having Aragorn and Gimli dropping from exhaustion? But then, what of Merry and Pippin?
He looked into both of their faces, and looked down again as a selfish thought entered his mind. Even if… even if they rested during the night and let the uruks make a greater distance, Aragorn and Gimli would still be there and well, even if Merry and Pippin were further. But if he pushed his friends, and they were to be injured or sicken and possibly die, he would still be no closer to the hobbits in the end. Legolas felt sick from his thoughts and perched on a rock, his head spinning.
"Legolas, what do you think?" Aragorn repeated, taking a drink of water.
Legolas struggled for a moment. "I will have no part in this decision." He said finally. "I will be agreeable whether we rest or continue, so it should not be my choice."
"Then we'll stay." Gimli said quickly. "I tell you, the orcs must rest as well."
Aragorn shrugged. "Then we will rest." The man and dwarf began laying their blankets and fell tiredly on them, falling quickly into the sound sleep of the fatigued.
Legolas climbed to his feet and stood on the rock, staring far into the distance. He would watch the orcs progress, track their direction, estimate their distance, and watch over Aragorn and Gimli while they slept.
But he could not concentrate. He had managed to put it out of his mind thus far, but with little to occupy his mind, the images of Amon Hen kept returning. And he turned towards the inevitable question that stood lurking in the back of his mind.
Could I have prevented Boromir's death?
There he stood the rest of the night, half his mind working on his self-appointed task of guarding and tracking, while the other half was sunk in melancholy thoughts.
If I had not stopped because of the voice…I might have shot an arrow at the orc who shot Boromir. I would have saved his life. And perhaps Merry and Pippin would not be in the hands of Sauruman's orcs. If only I had run faster, slew the orcs with Gimli faster, went with Aragorn after Boromir's call for help…
Legolas took out from his cloak a fragment of an arrow shaft, part of an arrow he had removed from Boromir, and fingered the feathered end.
Orc arrows are carelessly made; sometimes dull at the point, made with poor ore while the shafts can barely be touched without getting a splinter. It would not be a quick and painless death if someone were shot with this. The orcs I hunted died a better death than Boromir, who might have deserved a better end.
He threw the remnant aside in frustration, trying to stifle his grief at the second loss of the fellowship. Aragorn remained passive; he looked and acted like he always did. Gimli was probably not even affected much, having never been close to Boromir anyway. Neither had Legolas, but the sense of comradeship he had shared with Boromir in Moria was not forgotten.
Now Legolas turned to watch the stars, listening to their faint crystal chime. As he began to relax his tense muscles, he buried the thoughts of Boromir's death deep within him. Just as he put his grief for Gandalf aside in favor of what he had to do, he placed his sadness for Boromir aside. He had concluded from all his thoughts that working for the living was more important than remembering the dead.
Legolas felt himself slip into a state of serenity and rest, and this was how Aragorn and Gimli found him when they awoke at sunrise.
"Legolas, have you rested at all?" Aragorn called softly.
The elf's eyes began to focus and he started slightly. "Of course I have." He replied, and went over to Gimli's pack and began digging through it. "I can sleep while we run, if I do indeed tire."
Gimli yawned widely. "What are you doing?"
Legolas held up lembas, still wrapped in mallorn leaves. "We will eat first, of course." He unwrapped a leaf and broke a small piece of the lembas, and handed the rest to Aragorn, who did the same.
Gimli took his share, grumbling all the while. "It does fill you up, true, but nothing compares to a hearty meal full of meat."
Aragorn rose to his feet and began checking his sword. "How far have the orcs gone this night?"
"Have they rested at all?" Gimli interrupted, shouldering his bag and lifting his axe.
Legolas shook his head. "They have gone further then I have expected, though I did not see fit to wake you. We will go a long way before we meet them, if they do not reach Isengard first, but I remain hopeful. If we can keep our speed, I believe we will reach them soon"
"Then we will try to catch them." Aragorn said finally. "And if we do not stop until nightfall again, so be it." And he set off, with Legolas close behind him and Gimli trailing.
They spoke little throughout the day, conserving energy and focusing their thoughts on reaching the orcs. They now appeared to be only faint lines in the distance, a testament to the orcs' unnatural speed.
Aragorn did not speak of his growing despair, but kept the pace, pausing occasionally to glance back at Legolas and Gimli.
With no one to talk to, and lacking the heart to sing as he ran, Legolas' unwilling mind began to wander, and with his empty thoughts came others that were not his own.
Which of your friends will you kill next? Aragorn or Gimli?
Legolas was almost accustomed to it's cruel assault now, and not being shocked of it's return because he expected it since they left Amon Hen, he answered almost stolidly.
Neither. I watch them while they sleep, and I protect them from harm.
Are you truly capable of protecting them from yourself?
Legolas stared into Aragorn's back, ignoring its question. It was repeated, louder and angrier, and still Legolas refused to reply.
Answer me!
I would have them kill me first.
We shall see.
Those three words were uttered with such malice that Legolas ran cold. And he remembered the times when he would try to defy the voice, and it would smugly say those words in reply, then exert it's influence on him. Legolas said nothing, both to voice and Aragorn and Gimli. If catching the orcs were more important than mourning for Boromir, then it was also more important than dealing with the voice. Aragorn seemed justifiably distracted, while Gimli was having trouble breathing and keeping up with them.
But Legolas struggled with this decision. He did say that Aragorn and Gimli would know if the voice returned and meant harm, but under the circumstances… would it be fine to burden his friends more?
Your friends cannot help you this time… you already see how preoccupied they are with the mess you have caused…
I did not cause anything. Boromir's death was caused by the orcs.
Well, it is like you have said. If you had run faster, perhaps shot that orc, he would have been alive. Then Boromir would have been able to protect those hobbits. And you wouldn't be running over all Middle Earth to save them.
Legolas' determined composure began to waver, and he felt himself slipping back into fear. He took a shuddering breath to clear his head, but felt like he was drowning instead.
You certainly have a way of killing off your friends.
His vision blurred and cleared again, and Legolas clenched his fists as he ran, and if Gimli was not so concentrated on his running, he might have noticed that Legolas' steps turned heavy and haphazard. He caught himself from tripping over a loose stone, something he had never done before.
Without Thranduil here, you are once again are a helpless child, unable to protect yourself from just a little whisper.
Whispers do not seek to control you.
At sundown Aragorn called a halt, and they were silent as they ate the way bread. Once they finished eating, Aragorn and Gimli immediately fell to the ground exhaustedly and slept. Legolas went to sit a little way off at a higher point, although they had already lost sight of the orcs.
As night fell, the air turned colder, and the light breeze present throughout the day became a biting wind. Legolas noted this, and although it didn't affect him, he went back to Aragorn and Gimli and tucked their blankets tighter around them.
The voice was nagged at him incessantly, asking him to do shameful things. Legolas repeatedly sang to himself throughout the day an elvish hymn he heard while at Rivendell to drown the voice out, and now he sang it out loud because he was alone. It was but a verse to Elbereth, but Legolas repeated it like a prayer.
A Elbereth Gilthoniel…,
I will not leave you because of a foolish song.
silivren penna míriel…
Do not think to drown me out.
o menel aglar elenath!
I am an inseparable part of you.
Na-chaered palan-díriel
What would Aragorn think if he were to wake now, and see you repeating a song over again for the hundredth time?
o
galadhremmin ennorath,
I'm sure Gimli would think you insane.
Fanuilos, le linnathon
Listen to me!
You will listen to me.
nef aear, si nef aearon!
Legolas…listen to the wind…hear what it says…
The voice became oddly gentle with its last words. Legolas, in his shaky state, attached himself to this sound of kindness without hesitation, and stopped singing to listen to the wind.
It laughed in delight and ruthlessness. Legolas clapped his hands over his ears from the terrible sound, shaking. "You cannot take the wind!" he cried. "You cannot take it! You will not take me!"
I shall do as I please. And I did not take the wind, that is beyond me. But it was a nice ruse, was it not? You stopped your absurd song.
"Gimli…" Legolas whispered, blinded by fear, unable to at least look over at his sleeping friends. "Where are you to lighten my worries now? Gimli…"
It seemed like he was screaming, but his voice was so low he could barely hear himself mutter, not knowing to whom he called out to.
"Tiro nin! " (Look towards me!)
To be continued….
I am so hungry and tired and bogged down with work I won't even bother trying to be cheerful right now, nor will I write anything in this nice white space where I normally write things. If you want, you can imagine that the big empty space is full of my ramblings. Oh my gosh. Since when am I this cynical??
Okay. Thanks to all reviewers, don't be offended if I don't address all of you individually, really, I would love to, but I seriously am stressed to the point of breaking. Jeez, listen to me, I'm turning into a nutcase. *sighs* Forgive me if I'm overly sadistic or downright nasty, it's the physics lab in waiting that's talking. Thanks to – Skye, Musicgrl, Firestar, NiennaVala, RainyDayz, Amy Jonas, Purple, reginabean, Viraten, Stary Night.
Torture_the_elf: Well, since I'm not killing Legolas off, it means I only really really like him. ^_^
Merrylyn: I am completely confused about Boromir now. When I first saw the movie, I really disliked him. Then I researched a bit about his death-song and his funeral, and it amazed me to find out how much care Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas took with his funeral, like they really did like and respect Boromir. Hm.
Beautifully Twisted – Wow… my story and character portrayal has been analyzed. Much thanks!
Erhothwen :The way I got over my denial of Haldir's supposed death in TTT was this: Someone important and already known has to die in every movie. *shakes head* I am so out of it. Ignore everything I've just said.
Soulsearcher-Arbariel: When I read FOTR and the most of TTT, I was struck by just that. (Legolas' innocence) You can't really see it in the movie, Orli makes Legolas so suave, but Legolas in the book was so completely inquisitive and playful and pure and… there is a word that completely describes Legolas all-in-one, but I can't think of it right now. But yes, you are COMPLETELY right. And dogs can totally look like Legolas. For instance, my neighbor has a Chow Chow… and….well, it's got pointy ears too.
Lady J – I am completely a sadist. Well, not completely. Just a little. ^_^
Leggolassss crazed: Er… I don't want to kill Legolas. ^_^ This is the second suggestion of it, but no, I don't want to kill him at all.
Cheysuli – My father absolutely despises Windows XP and refuses to ditch Windows 2000 for it. Oh well. But if Windows XP screws up FF.Net, or FF.Net doesn't work as well on Windows XP… *hugs windows 2000 tightly*
Lady-Daine: Arghh… AP exams. My teachers talk about nothing but those AP exams. Oooh, and I'll totally join NSFWBCTOL!!!
Well, that's it until next Wednesday. Hopefully I'm alive next Wednesday. If I make it past several tests, labs, and assignments, and a debate. *begins sobbing* Why am I in school???? Oh right. It's the stupid governments fault.