Lily sat at home twirling her wand through her fingers. Today had been
rough. Sirius had finally released all the frustrations he was feeling.
Everything he'd kept bottled up for the better part of two years he poured
out to her today. It was time. It had felt nice for Lily to be able to
comfort him as he had done so for her for so long.
He'd got her thinking today though, and she wasn't sure he even really intended to. He had made her realize that she needed to start living again. She wasn't the person she used to be. She was a shell. A hollow, empty shell, and she knew James would be disappointed if he saw her like this.
Lily reached for her phone and punched in a coworkers phone number.
"Hello, Lara, its Lily. Is the invitation for a night out with the girls still good? Great, I'll see you soon." She smiled as she hung up the phone and took a few deep breaths. There was no time like the present to start living again.
Like always, Lily was going to be late. She couldn't decide on anything to wear, and she was sure she'd gone through everything in her closet at least twice. She finally decided on a simple black dress and some strappy heels she hadn't worn in ages. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten dressed up for anything that wasn't work related. She hadn't had time to fix her hair, but it had dried in loose waves. She threw on some minimal make-up before she ran out the door. She was determined to have fun. Or at least look like she was having fun.
An hour had passed and Lily was miserable. She'd forgotten what clubbing was all about. Dirty men hitting on her every two seconds. Not so dirty ones trying to get her drunk so they could take her home. People cramped together in a tight space gyrating against each other to something they thought was music.
Lily had wandered off the dance floor shortly after she had walked on to it and headed to somewhere she felt a little more comfortable; the bar.
The bartender bee lined straight for her as soon as she sat down. "What can I get for you, sweetheart?"
"Something lethal," she said as she watched him pour various liquors into a shaker, give it a shake and pour it in a glass for her.
"Here you go," he said as he pushed it towards her. "It's on the house."
Lily smiled her thanks and downed the concoction. Muggle drinks were nowhere near as potent as fire whiskey. Lily turned her back on the bartender and sat on a stool overlooking the dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having so much fun they were so carefree. She didn't know if she'd ever feel like that again. Well, she assumed she would if James came back, but with each day that passed, that IF was growing bigger and bigger. Lily sighed as she signaled for another drink.
In a secluded corner of the bar two men sat gossiping about women.
"Come on, man, let's go find some lays for the night." Dominic Jensen said to his friend pleadingly. His eyes scanned the crowd. "There's a hot little brunette over there, and she's got a cute friend."
"Let's go," replied Travis, barely able to keep his tongue in his mouth. They looked towards their third companion who remained seated and rather disinterested.
"That's okay. You two go ahead."
They shook their heads disapprovingly before taking off for the dance floor.
The third man sighed and sunk into his chair. He turned his head, and then stopped, transfixed. He saw a red-haired beauty sitting at the bar, alone, and he wanted nothing more than to talk to her.
Lily was getting ready to go. She was bored and going out hadn't provided the great release she thought it would. She was more depressed now than she had been when she left the house.
"Why so bored?" queried a voice from behind her.
"Look, small talk just isn't my thing," she replied.
"You're beautiful, you know?"
Lily didn't turn. "Look, I'm tired of guys hitting on me, can't you just leave me alone?"
"I could, but I don't want to."
Lily didn't know what to do, the voice was oddly familiar to her, but she didn't want to deal with anybody right now, she just wanted to go home. She was going to give this guy a piece of her mind. She spun around but was definitely not expecting what she saw. Her breath caught in her throat and no words would form.
"Ja.Ja.It can't be you." Her eyes were beginning to tear.
The man standing in front of her was a spitting image of James. Hazel eyes, untidy black hair, the glasses, the tall lanky figure. He looked behind him, confused. She couldn't be talking to him. He'd never met her before because he knew if he had he would never have forgotten anyone as beautiful as she was.
She grabbed his hand and kneaded it into her own, feeling his skin upon hers. "James," she whispered, "where have you been?"
The man gently removed his hand from hers. "I'm very sorry, but I think you've confused me with someone else. My name is Justin Lang."
Lily shook her head in disbelief. "Is this some sort of joke? It's me, Lily," she pleaded.
He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. "Look, I'm really sorry. I wish I knew you. I wish I was this James fellow, he obviously is very important to you, but I'm not. I'm Justin, deal with it."
He immediately regretted what he said. Here was this beautiful woman obviously dealing with something very emotional, and he had just told her to get over it.
"Sorry for wasting your time, Justin," she bit angrily wiping her eyes before turning and running out of the club.
Justin watched her run out the doors, her red hair flying wildly behind her. He didn't want to let her go. Something inside him was urging him to follow her and before he knew it, his feet were taking him out the door.
He pulled his coat closer around his body as he stepped outside. The weather had turned violently, storm clouds were brewing and it looked like it would rain at any minute. He thought it was rather odd, it had been pleasantly warm earlier in the evening. He didn't know where he'd find her, but he was drawn to her and he knew he wouldn't sleep until he spoke with her again.
He walked to the park across the street; it was lovely at night, and stopped. He had found her. She was crying. He had done this to her, and he felt awful.
"Lily?" he asked, hesitantly.
"What?" She yelled, looking up. "Oh, it's you. Can't you just go away?"
Justin sat down next to her. "No. I've made you cry, and I want to fix it."
"You can't. No one can."
"Talk to me about it."
"No. I'm tired of bothering people with my whining about James."
"It wouldn't bother me."
Lily looked at him, he was being sincere, but it was too eerie. This was her James sitting next to her, only it wasn't. "Can you answer me a question?"
Justin nodded.
"Does Hogwarts mean anything to you?"
Justin pondered the question. Was this a trick she was playing on him? What kind of crazy thing was Hogwarts? A person? A bar? He had no idea. He shook his head slowly.
Lily closed her eyes and massaged her temples. How could this be happening to her? God was playing cruel tricks. She was silent for a great while. She stared straight ahead of her before she began speaking. And was she started everything just came pouring out of her mouth beginning to end. (Well, all the bits appropriate for muggles anyway.) She found she had told Justin everything with great ease. Things she couldn't even tell Sirius came pouring out. She had opened the floodgates and there would be no end until everything had cleared out.
"I'm very sorry, Lily. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to go through an event like that," Justin expressed to her.
She was quiet again. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally.
"Would you like me to go?" Justin asked her.
She shook her head and looked him straight in the eyes. James'eyes. "Can you just let me pretend for a little while?"
Justin nodded as Lily leaned her head against his chest and he cradled her in his arms.
He'd got her thinking today though, and she wasn't sure he even really intended to. He had made her realize that she needed to start living again. She wasn't the person she used to be. She was a shell. A hollow, empty shell, and she knew James would be disappointed if he saw her like this.
Lily reached for her phone and punched in a coworkers phone number.
"Hello, Lara, its Lily. Is the invitation for a night out with the girls still good? Great, I'll see you soon." She smiled as she hung up the phone and took a few deep breaths. There was no time like the present to start living again.
Like always, Lily was going to be late. She couldn't decide on anything to wear, and she was sure she'd gone through everything in her closet at least twice. She finally decided on a simple black dress and some strappy heels she hadn't worn in ages. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten dressed up for anything that wasn't work related. She hadn't had time to fix her hair, but it had dried in loose waves. She threw on some minimal make-up before she ran out the door. She was determined to have fun. Or at least look like she was having fun.
An hour had passed and Lily was miserable. She'd forgotten what clubbing was all about. Dirty men hitting on her every two seconds. Not so dirty ones trying to get her drunk so they could take her home. People cramped together in a tight space gyrating against each other to something they thought was music.
Lily had wandered off the dance floor shortly after she had walked on to it and headed to somewhere she felt a little more comfortable; the bar.
The bartender bee lined straight for her as soon as she sat down. "What can I get for you, sweetheart?"
"Something lethal," she said as she watched him pour various liquors into a shaker, give it a shake and pour it in a glass for her.
"Here you go," he said as he pushed it towards her. "It's on the house."
Lily smiled her thanks and downed the concoction. Muggle drinks were nowhere near as potent as fire whiskey. Lily turned her back on the bartender and sat on a stool overlooking the dance floor. Everyone looked like they were having so much fun they were so carefree. She didn't know if she'd ever feel like that again. Well, she assumed she would if James came back, but with each day that passed, that IF was growing bigger and bigger. Lily sighed as she signaled for another drink.
In a secluded corner of the bar two men sat gossiping about women.
"Come on, man, let's go find some lays for the night." Dominic Jensen said to his friend pleadingly. His eyes scanned the crowd. "There's a hot little brunette over there, and she's got a cute friend."
"Let's go," replied Travis, barely able to keep his tongue in his mouth. They looked towards their third companion who remained seated and rather disinterested.
"That's okay. You two go ahead."
They shook their heads disapprovingly before taking off for the dance floor.
The third man sighed and sunk into his chair. He turned his head, and then stopped, transfixed. He saw a red-haired beauty sitting at the bar, alone, and he wanted nothing more than to talk to her.
Lily was getting ready to go. She was bored and going out hadn't provided the great release she thought it would. She was more depressed now than she had been when she left the house.
"Why so bored?" queried a voice from behind her.
"Look, small talk just isn't my thing," she replied.
"You're beautiful, you know?"
Lily didn't turn. "Look, I'm tired of guys hitting on me, can't you just leave me alone?"
"I could, but I don't want to."
Lily didn't know what to do, the voice was oddly familiar to her, but she didn't want to deal with anybody right now, she just wanted to go home. She was going to give this guy a piece of her mind. She spun around but was definitely not expecting what she saw. Her breath caught in her throat and no words would form.
"Ja.Ja.It can't be you." Her eyes were beginning to tear.
The man standing in front of her was a spitting image of James. Hazel eyes, untidy black hair, the glasses, the tall lanky figure. He looked behind him, confused. She couldn't be talking to him. He'd never met her before because he knew if he had he would never have forgotten anyone as beautiful as she was.
She grabbed his hand and kneaded it into her own, feeling his skin upon hers. "James," she whispered, "where have you been?"
The man gently removed his hand from hers. "I'm very sorry, but I think you've confused me with someone else. My name is Justin Lang."
Lily shook her head in disbelief. "Is this some sort of joke? It's me, Lily," she pleaded.
He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. "Look, I'm really sorry. I wish I knew you. I wish I was this James fellow, he obviously is very important to you, but I'm not. I'm Justin, deal with it."
He immediately regretted what he said. Here was this beautiful woman obviously dealing with something very emotional, and he had just told her to get over it.
"Sorry for wasting your time, Justin," she bit angrily wiping her eyes before turning and running out of the club.
Justin watched her run out the doors, her red hair flying wildly behind her. He didn't want to let her go. Something inside him was urging him to follow her and before he knew it, his feet were taking him out the door.
He pulled his coat closer around his body as he stepped outside. The weather had turned violently, storm clouds were brewing and it looked like it would rain at any minute. He thought it was rather odd, it had been pleasantly warm earlier in the evening. He didn't know where he'd find her, but he was drawn to her and he knew he wouldn't sleep until he spoke with her again.
He walked to the park across the street; it was lovely at night, and stopped. He had found her. She was crying. He had done this to her, and he felt awful.
"Lily?" he asked, hesitantly.
"What?" She yelled, looking up. "Oh, it's you. Can't you just go away?"
Justin sat down next to her. "No. I've made you cry, and I want to fix it."
"You can't. No one can."
"Talk to me about it."
"No. I'm tired of bothering people with my whining about James."
"It wouldn't bother me."
Lily looked at him, he was being sincere, but it was too eerie. This was her James sitting next to her, only it wasn't. "Can you answer me a question?"
Justin nodded.
"Does Hogwarts mean anything to you?"
Justin pondered the question. Was this a trick she was playing on him? What kind of crazy thing was Hogwarts? A person? A bar? He had no idea. He shook his head slowly.
Lily closed her eyes and massaged her temples. How could this be happening to her? God was playing cruel tricks. She was silent for a great while. She stared straight ahead of her before she began speaking. And was she started everything just came pouring out of her mouth beginning to end. (Well, all the bits appropriate for muggles anyway.) She found she had told Justin everything with great ease. Things she couldn't even tell Sirius came pouring out. She had opened the floodgates and there would be no end until everything had cleared out.
"I'm very sorry, Lily. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to go through an event like that," Justin expressed to her.
She was quiet again. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally.
"Would you like me to go?" Justin asked her.
She shook her head and looked him straight in the eyes. James'eyes. "Can you just let me pretend for a little while?"
Justin nodded as Lily leaned her head against his chest and he cradled her in his arms.