Disclaimer: WORSHIP YOUR SOCKS! RIGHT NOW! YOU HEARD ME! DDDDDOOOO
IIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!

A/N: Ummm...hi? Again, sorry about the late update. Life just doesn't know
when to stop interfering with my fanfics! But to make up for it, this is a
nice, long chapter! Twelve pages on Microsoft Word! YAY! (looks at
Disclaimer)
o.0 Disclaimer has gone insane....

Disclaimer: YESSS! YESSS I HAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!

.....Let's move on, shall we?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Announcer Guy: JUST KILL ME! PLEASE! *coughs* Chapter Twelve: JIM!
NOOOOO! It's Not a Cow! It's Sano!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Narrator: Our id----er....heroes...and heroines!!!! Our heroes and heroines
are sitting around a table, playing cards and having a great time! YAY!
.....And Kaoru is the most beautiful and wonderful person in the entire
world! DON'T KILL ME! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! (flees)

Authoress: DAMN IT! Third one this story! (mutters various curses as she
looks around, trying to find something) AHA! (drags Bakura out from under
her desk) YOU! BE THE NARRATOR!

Bakura: (whining) Why do *I* have to?

Authoress: 'Cause they won't scare *you* away! Especially with your
shiiiiiiiny necklace on of shiiiinnniiiinessnessnessss!!!!!! (walks off,
whistling as she shoves a script in Bakura's hand)

Bakura: (sighs) Well, our heroes - - -AND HEROINES!!!- - -are sitting
at...some random table, playing cards and whatever.

Misao: Queen to B4!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: o.0

Soujiro: Umm....Misao....

Misao: WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!

Soujiro: (looks scared) Uh, Misao...(pauses) Misao-sama...We're,
uh.....We're playing poker......

Misao: I DON'T CAAAARE!!!!!! I SAID, QUEEN TO B4!!!!!!!
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (takes a huge bite out of the table)

Everyone: O.O" (edges away from Misao slowly)

Misao: (glares at them all) YOU GUYS ARE NO FUN! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
(stomps off and sits in the corner.)

Everyone: (blinks)

Aoshi: (whispers) She hasn't had her medication yet today.

Kenshin: Medication? What for?

Aoshi: For her rapid mood swings. They say she inherited it from a
squirrel.

Yahiko: o.0 I always thought she was a weasel girl....(looks at Misao) HEY
SQUIRRELY!

Misao: (turns around slowly. Eyes are burning bright red.) WHAT (grabs
Yahiko's gi and holds him up) DID YOU CALL MEEEE?!?!?!?!?!

Yahiko: Err........(starts singing) WHO LIVES IN A DOJO IN TOKYO?

Misao: (drops Yahiko) (is strangely peaceful)

Everyone: ^_^ (starts dancing various different dances) HIMURA KENSHIN!

Yahiko: Redheaded and violet eyed is he!

Everyone: HIMURA KENSHIN!

Yahiko: If a peaceful rurouni be something you wish!

Everyone: HIMURA KENSHIN!

Yahiko: Then find him and follow him everywhere!

Everyone (including Yahiko): HIMURA KENSHIN! HIMURA KENSHIN! HIMURA
KENSHIN! HIIIIIMURAAAA KEEENNSSSHIIIIIIN!!!!!!!

Leprechaun: HEHEHEEEE!!!!!

Everyone: O.O (stares at the leprechaun)

Leprechaun: 0.0 Umm....Hi?

Kenshin: Where did you come from?

Leprechaun: (sighs sadly) Well, it all started when I was wee lad growing
up in Ireland.....
_________________________________

FIVE HOURS LATER
__________________________________

Megumi: (wiping her eyes) ;_; That is so sad!

Yumi: I can't believe they forced you to march with those giraffes!

Aoshi: And at such a young age!

Hiko: YOU'VE NEVER TASTED SAKEEEE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?! (picks up leprechaun. Pours a bottle of sake down
his throat.)

Leprechaun: O.O (chokes)

Hiko: All better! sake. (puts the leprechaun down on the floor)

Leprechaun: (writhing and twitching on the floor, choking.)

Kaoru: o.0 Ooookaaay.......Let's play ring-around-the-rosie!

Yahiko, Soujiro, Misao, Aoshi, Hiko, Yumi, Megumi: OKAY!

All: (hold hands and start skipping in a circle) Ring around the rosie! A
pocket full of posies! Ashes, ashes, we all fall down! (fall over. Get up
and do it again.)

Kenshin: 0.0" Uh.....Guys....

All: (still singing and skipping)

Kenshin: Guys.....? Guys!

All: (ignoring Kenshin)

Kenshin: HEY! PEOPLE!

Everyone: WHAAAAAT?!?!

Kenshin: LOOK! (points at leprechaun)

Leprechaun: (dies)

Soujiro: GASP! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! (points a shaking finger at Hiko) HOW
*DARE* YOU?! YOU KILLED JIM! I WILL GET MY REVEEEENGE! (starts sobbing,
holding Jim's hand.)

Everyone: O.o

Kaoru: I thought his name was [insert Irish name here].

Yumi: (solemn) It's okay, Soujiro. Jim is in a better place now.

Yahiko: Where?

Yumi: (still solemnly) A hotdog stand.

Yahiko: (nods knowingly)

Soujiro: (ignoring everyone else) Jim, you lived such a hard life, but you
were always a good leprechaun. You never neglected to do your job, and you
always marched with the giraffes, no matter how much they smelled. (sniff)
I'm....I'm sorry it had to end this way, buddy! I'm so sorry! (sobs)

Misao: Um....Why is Soujiro talking to a dead leprechaun?

Kaoru: He needs some time alone. Let him be. (pulls everyone off to the
side.)

Hiko: ;_; I....I didn't mean to kill Jim! sake. (cries)

Kenshin: (puts his arm around Hiko.) I know, Hiko, I know. But sometimes
these things just happen, and there's no way you can stop them from
happening. We forgive you.

Hiko: (sniffle) R-really? sake. (sniff)

Kenshin: (nods) Really.

Hiko: YAY! ^_^

Soujiro: (still talking to Jim) Hrefiuehfiuwehfsdbjfkdwsofhweirhfbckjdbfje!
Hkdhfiuwehrfiuhfkjdhfkdjf! Jkfhfiewfhewifhewhfjv. Kweurhiuwerhhfh.

Jim: (is still dead.)

Soujiro: (sighs sadly.) I'll never forget you, Jim. (walks over to the rest
of the peopleses.)

Kenshin: (is actually not trying to kill Soujiro) Are you okay?

Soujiro: Yeah. (sniffle) I remember that one time, when I was riding my
tricycle.....

[BEGIN FLASHBACK]

Three-year-old Soujiro: Lalalalaaaaa! (riding a small red tricycle towards
a huge hill in San Diego, California.)

Some Guy: LOOK! THAT KID'S GONNA FALL DOWN THE HILL! Hmmmm... (grabs some
popcorn and sits down to watch)

Soujiro: Lalalalaaa.....AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (falling down hill)

Jim the Leprechaun: (jumps in out of no where) SOUJIRO!
NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (grabs Soujiro off the tricycle and pulls him to
safety.)

Some Guy: LOOK! THAT LEPRECHAUN'S KIDNAPPING THAT KID! (grabs more popcorn
and sits back down to watch)

Police: (start driving up in police cars)

Jim: o.o Gotta go, Soujiro! See ya! (disappears into the sunset, police
chasing him)

Soujiro: (waves) ^_^ Bye bye!

[END FLASHBACK]

Yumi: (singing to herself to the Carmen Sandiego song thinger) Oh, where in
the world is San Diego, California?

Kaoru: Soujiro...?

Soujiro: Yeah?

Kaoru: That never happened.

Soujiro: o.o Um......(looks around) .....Where's Sanosuke? And Saitou?

Kenshin: 0.0 I....don't....know...DID YOU KILL THEM, LIKE YOU KILLED MY
SWORD?!?! (twitch. twitch.)

Soujiro: 0.o (backs away from an extremely psychotic Kenshin)

Aoshi: Noooo, they were kidnapped by the evil fluffy pink bunnies,
remember?

Kenshin: Oh. I see. (glares at Soujiro but calms down.)

Director: (speaking over the loud speaker) ALL CAST MEMBERS OF RUROUNI
KENSHIN, REPORT TO THE STUDIO AT ONCE! And remember to bring Saitou and
Sanosuke! The limo is waiting. That is all.

Misao: (looks nervous)....We're in trouble.....

Megumi: Anyone got any ideas? I DO! LET'S GET COFFEE!

Hiko: That won't solve anything! Sake!

Megumi: YEEESSSSS IT WIIIIIILLLLL!!!! (gets a coffee pot out of nowhere.
Pours coffee all over self.) TEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

All: O.o

Kenshin: ....Wait here. I have an idea. (leaves)

_____________________
2 SECONDS LATER
____________________

Kenshin: (returns, riding a cow and holding a box of hair gel under one
arm, and a miniature poodle under the other.)

Everyone: o.0

Kenshin: Just hold on a second! ^_^ (gets down and turns his back to them,
doing something with the hair gel) (turns back to them) See?

Cow: Moo. (hair is styled like Sano's)

Poodle: Yip! Yip yip! (hair is styled like Saitou's)

Kenshin: (points to cow.) That's Sano.....(points to poodle)......And
that's Saitou! ^______^

Everyone: WOW!

Kaoru: You must be a GENIUS!

Kenshin: (gets faraway look) I'm no genius....But I *am*---(pauses
dramatically)---a hairstylist.

Everyone: GASP!

Soujiro: Then why is your hair always such a mess?

Kenshin: I'LL KILL YOU!

Limo Driver Person Thingy: (opens the door) Excuse me, sirs, madams, but we
must leave quickly. (twitches) If I'm late, I won't get to go to the movies
in time! AND THEY'RE SHOWING "THE MUFFIN MAN"!!!!!!!!!!! (twitch) So please
get in.

Everyone: o.0 Okay. (gets in)

Kenshin: (grumbling) I wanna drive!

________________________
AT THE STUDIO........
_________________________

Kenshin: We're here! (drags "Sano" and "Saitou" in.)

Director: Good, good.....Where's Sano? I need to talk to him about this
scene......

Kenshin: Right here! (points at the cow)

"Sano": Moo.

Director: o.0 That's not Sanosuke. That's a cow.

Misao: IT'S NOT A COW! IT'S SANO! WOULD A *COW* HAVE WHITE SPOTS?!?!

Director: 0.o Er...Yes.....

Misao: o.o Oh. BUT WOULD A *COW* HAVE A TAIL?!?!

Director: (nods)

Misao: Wellllll....WOULD A COW HAVE THIS HAIRDO?! (points to Kenshin's
masterpiece)

Kenshin: (beams)

Sano: Moo.

Director: I....guess not....Well, where's Saitou?

Kenshin: He's over here! (points to the black miniature poodle, who is
chewing on some wires on the set) HERE, SAITOU!

Saitou: YIP! YIP! YIP! (comes bounding over. wags tail)

Director: That's not Saitou! That's a poodle!

Misao: NO! IT'S SAITOU! WOULD A *POODLE* HAVE FUR?!?!

Director: (sighs in exasperation) Nevermind! Just read these, and get
ready! (throws them their scripts) By the way, where were you all this
time?

Soujiro: (remembers) Poor, poor Jim....(sniff)

Director: o.0 I don't think I want to know. (walks off to get the set ready
and stuff)

"Sano": MOO! (eats the director's new tuxedo)

"Saitou": Yip! YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP YIP!!!!!!! (starts yipping
nonstop and chasing the camera guy, who is still injured from the first
chapter.)

TO BE CONTINUED...........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Where in the world is San Diego, California? Ummm.....in Idaho? I
just noticed, the last chapter was The Evil Plot of the Pink Bunnies: Part
One. There is no part two.......IT'S THE MYSTERY OF THE NONEXISTENT PART
TWO! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*shakes head sadly* Poor Jim......His name wasn't even Jim....It was
[insert Irish name here].
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