Part 22
Crais saw the trust and affection beaming out at him. It didn't matter that Aeryn's soul inhabited his body. This was the woman whom he had once been so attracted to years ago, when he had been her Captain, and she just one of his newest Prowler pilots... the woman he had sentenced to death and whom he once might actually have executed... the woman who, finding him trapped in the Aurora chair, had restarted his torture in it. The woman who had saved his life, and whose life he had saved. The woman whose mother he had killed to save her only daughter. The woman he had loved, enough to let her go free and unclaimed when he could have easily coerced her to accompany him.
He realized that he really did have her love, even if it wasn't the love he had once desired from her.
Valldon... sigh. Afterwards, he had in despair proposed to leave Talyn. The two of them, Crais and Talyn, had mended fences afterwards. Talyn had somehow managed to stop the cybernetic bleedback after that. When they had lain in Crais' chamber last night, Aeryn had found only the faintest of scars on his torso.
.
The eyes that met hers had once again regained the strength that she had wanted to experience, and Aeryn smiled. This was her Captain.
When she came on board his Carrier, she had seen his covert looks, had at one time even hoped that he would summon her to his room, but it had never come to pass. She had heard that he was engrossed in the Leviathan-project and hardly had time for relaxation or, rather, hardly gave himself the time to do so.
She had been shocked and hurt when he condemned her, pronounced her Irrevocably Contaminated. She had believed that her life was over. It took her a long time to realise that it had only started then. When she had discovered him in the Aurora Chair, she found a way to get back at him and hadn't even stopped to think what would happen to him. She had been so angry that she lashed out with the means so suddenly at her disposal. When he later came on board Moya, she had secretly felt relieved that he had survived the Chair.
He had given her life by condemning her, and she had given him his sanity back by leaving him in the Chair. Ironic, wasn't it?
He had saved them many a time even though they had always questioned his motives, right up to what everyone thought was the end. But she had seen him change, had seen him grow, and she had realised that he was a different man, even stronger than when he had been her Commander.
She had seen his love for her on Valldon, and she had rejected it. It would have been easy, too easy to give in to it. She was glad that he hadn't pushed it; he had never brought up the subject again after that night.
And then they had finally met up again, almost a cycle after the Command Carrier had been blown up. She would always remember the joy she had seen briefly on his features when he knew they were alive, before his calm and control was back in place. The calm and control she so envied.
But even after that, he seemed to keep to himself, always giving the impression that he feared to intrude on them. Wouldn't or couldn't believe that they didn't meet him with distrust anymore. Couldn't see that they were happy to see him, and not only Talyn.
Being Irrevocably Contaminated didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. They had all come a long way.
Aeryn smiled, bathed in a feeling of peace and contentment that had evaded her for a long time.
In fact, the only other time she had felt like this was when she had shared those precious moments with the other Crichton on board Talyn, before DamBaDa.
She found herself thinking that this was the first time that she had been able to remember those moments without feeling immersed in pain. Not that she didn't still feel some pain, she always would. If she lived as long as the oldest Sebacean ever had, she still would. But for the first time, she could face that memory without wanting to die. She could think about it, roll those memories about in her mind, taste them, and let them be.
She resolved to revisit those memories again. For now, she had other things to think about.
They were all Irreversibly Contaminated. She smiled, and felt that smile through and through to her very soul. Lucky them!
.
Crais had seen the emotions flit past his face and found that he could recognise and understand them. He had been feeling similar emotions in the last few microns.
At one time, he had wanted his old life back, to be in command again, to be a Peacekeeper. But the longer he stayed away from the Corps, the better he felt. He had been able to save others and not only Moya's crew, had been able to experience what a true Peacekeeper should be.
The first Cycle had been difficult. For nearly 30 cycles the Peacekeepers had been his life, had been the air he breathed. To command and be commanded. In a way life had been simple. Now, after nearly 5 cycles, he wouldn't want to have his former life back again. It was a closed book. It was time to look ahead, again, and review the situation. Rethink his path.
His talk to Aeryn and his reflections had strengthened him. He had to admit to giving some credit to Crichton too, but it had been Aeryn's understanding that had helped him most.
He straightened his shoulders (or rather Aeryn's), and a calm settled over his mind, which he hadn't felt for a long time. The last time he had felt this calm was when he and Talyn had resigned themselves to facing almost certain death during their StarBurst from within the Command Carrier.
He had been glad for the second chance, and now it was being presented to him again. Life, in a different form this time.
Crais found his memory flashing back to the last moments on the Command Carrier. Until those last moments, he had hoped fervently, but could not be entirely sure, that Talyn would not doubt him or descend into utter unreasoning panic. He could not even have blamed the Leviathan. Failure would have been his fault, not Talyn's.
He had faced death often enough in his career as a Peacekeeper. Talyn had faced danger often in his short life too. But it was one thing for a sentient being to find oneself in a dangerous situation, another to knowingly and willingly take that step over the precipice, expecting by one's own action to end existence itself.
Even with the joinedness they shared, which no one else understood, could ever understand (except possibly for Moya and her Pilot), in the end, it was Talyn's choice. And Talyn had chosen, had trusted Crais, in those last moments.
So why was he so unsure now? Why did he have less faith in Talyn now than when they both had expected to die by their own hand in a matter of moments?
Crais thought back to his own father. He had loved his father deeply, maybe even more than he had loved his little brother. He had ceaselessly worked to attain his father's approval, although he had always felt that he had failed at that task. Somehow he had never been able to be good enough, no matter how hard he tried.
This had been part of why he had taken Tauvo's death so badly. Not that his brother had not been the one person whom Bialar had cared about throughout the years. Still waters run deep, and his love for Tauvo had been deep as an ocean. That Tauvo had been the only person whom Bialar allowed himself to care so deeply about had only meant that all of his emotional energy was channelled into this one stream.
But Tauvo's death had also been the ultimate failure, the proof that his father had judged him correctly when he found little Bialar wanting.
Was this why Crais found himself doubting himself and Talyn now? Had not Talyn proved himself already? Was Crais, in some perverse way, punishing himself for being unworthy, even if he was the only one who knew, the only one who wasn't fooled?
Crais took a deep breath. He had to trust Talyn as Talyn had trusted him that day on the Command Carrier. Talyn had trusted him then, expecting they would probably die honourably, with only a slim possibility that they would come out of it alive. He had not hesitated in his actions.
Crais now had to trust Talyn to return to him, and it should have been without hesitation. It was unfair to his friend not to trust him. It was unfair to his friend to deny him the chance to be happy.
They had trusted each other for so long. Now his doubt that he truly had such a trusted friend was stopping Talyn from finding happiness for himself. He could not allow that to happen.
.
When Crais turned again to Aeryn, she could see that he had made up his mind, had worked it out, and was at peace with the solution, "As soon as I can link up with Talyn, I will tell him that I will stay on board Moya while he tries his luck finding a willing female Leviathan to spend time with on his own. I owe him that."
There were tears in Aeryn's eyes and she laid a gentle hand on his cheek, "I know what this means to you, Crais, and how hard it is, too. Trust him."
"I do, Aeryn," Crais' voice had a gentleness which few had ever heard, "I know he will come back once he has found his own happiness."
"Neither of you will regret it."
Crais nodded. He knew it was the right thing to do. He smiled at Aeryn. He would put this worry out of his mind for now; tomorrow would be soon enough to deal with it.
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Part 23
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As Crais smiled sadly at Aeryn, Pilot's voice came over the comms.
~Excuse me, Officer Sun, Captain Crais. Ka D'Argo is requesting your presence in Moya's neural cluster. Deck 7. It appears that there is a problem with the repairs he was working on last night~
As they listened to this announcement, Moya vibrated, rather like a large dog might shake while scratching to rid itself of a particularly obnoxious flea.
Crais and Aeryn steadied themselves against a console, then looked at each other and shrugged.
Aeryn said, "We'd better go see what the trouble is now."
Crais and Aeryn reached the neural cluster in no time at all.
They entered the chamber and looked around. Vapour was rising from the cluster itself and Crais covered his mouth, coughing, "She is releasing Velum vapours. We have to stop this before it reaches the rest of the ship. You go and warn the others. Distribute breathing masks."
She nodded and ran out of the cluster, Crais coughed, as tears began to stream down Aeryn's face. The vapours stung his eyes. He looked about and saw the tools D'Argo had been working with the night before. He lurched towards them.
Frantically, he covered his mouth with one hand while he started to search for the tool he needed. Finally, he found it. The stinging had grown worse and he blinked his eyes several times. He walked over to the side of the neural cluster and started looking for the panel, which should be near the base of the cluster.
He coughed again. When he finally located the panel, he took his hand away from his face, since that was becoming less and less effective. Besides, he was going to need both hands. He sank to his knees and opened the panel.
He poked around inside with the three-thronged welder until he found the faulty circuit. Either D'Argo had missed it or, more likely, it had burned through overnight. His coughing grew worse. He drew the tool satchel towards him and looked inside. He found a replacement circuit and now worked swiftly to exchange the faulty circuit with the new one.
The vapour cloud stopped streaming out, and Crais closed the panel with shaking hands. Moya stopped shuddering.
With a hoarse voice he addressed Pilot, "Pilot, release the excess Velum vapour into space." He coughed and doubled over, clutching the rim of the cluster while he tried to get his breath back.
~I can't while you are still in the cluster Crais~
"I'll be gone soon," Crais stumbled to his feet and made his way to the exit. His view was becoming distorted and he lurched, he had breathed in too much of the gas. Just a few more steps. His eyes rolled up in their sockets as Aeryn's body crashed to the floor.
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Part 24
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Meanwhile, Aeryn had gotten as far as the next level and a ways down a corridor before she saw D'Argo and Crichton approaching.
The Luxan boomed at "Crais", "Aeryn, what the Hezmana is going wrong now? Pilot commed us about an emergency in the neural cluster, and then out of nowhere, Moya started shaking like a sick sheebath."
Crichton pitched in, "Yeah, it felt like San Francisco for a while there. Hey, where's Aeryn...er Crais?" He found himself speeding from concern to the beginnings of panic in 60 microts.
Aeryn traversed the rest of the distance to her shipmates. They all hung onto anything they could find as Moya gave a particularly violent lurch.
"Crais is back in the neural cluster, one deck up from here. He sent me to warn you. He told me we need to get breathing masks on, said something about "Velum vapours"."
Pilot's voice broke in ~Captain Crais has repaired the problem but there is still a large amount of the vapour present in the neural cluster and it is still affecting Moya. I cannot release the vapours into space until someone takes Aeryn's body out of the cluster~
Crichton looked in bewilderment at Aeryn, "Captain Crais had repaired.... Aeryn's body...?" Then realisation hit him. He ran to the Neural cluster, Aeryn hot on his heels. The urgency gave her a shot of extra speed, and she overtook Crichton in his rush to the cluster.
They saw Aeryn's body slumped near the exit of the Neural cluster, unconscious. Crichton knelt next to her body and cradled her in his arms, "Aeryn..."
"I'm here John," said Aeryn behind him, "You're talking to Crais now, remember? We have to get him out of here fast." Moya rocked again. "Come on, John!"
Aeryn grew impatient and took the initiative of lifting Aeryn off of the floor. She ran with her burden safely tucked against Crais' chest away from the cluster. She could hear Crichton's steps right behind her.
She placed her own body on the floor in the next corridor. A "whoosh" behind them let them know that Moya had closed off the corridor to the Neural cluster and was releasing the vapours into space.
Aeryn slapped her own face gently, "Wake up Crais, you... we are safe now."
Aeryn's head lolled on her shoulders as Crais came to, "Velum... vapours... gone."
"Yes, Crais, they are gone, but you have to wake up."
Crais opened his eyes but found it difficult to focus on Aeryn.
He slumped back into oblivion again.
Aeryn was shaking his... her own body, urging him back to consciousness with every fibre of her being, as though she could call him back by sheer force of will. She found herself pleading with him, as though he were merely being contrary and was choosing to ignore her.
Crichton was awash in emotions too. At his side was the consciousness of the woman he loved more than life itself. Her body, though... it lay so still, as still as death.
He wracked his brain in search of any knowledge it might hold regarding the vapours.
D'Argo knelt down alongside Aeryn, opposite his human friend. After a few moments, it became obvious that if Crais were going to regain consciousness, it would not likely be very soon.
He gently moved Aeryn aside, and picked up the female body. Cradling it carefully, he began to carry it towards the chamber that the ex-Peacekeeper Captain had adopted as his home away from Talyn.
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Part 25
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Ka D'Argo stepped away from the bed after he lowered Aeryn's form onto the bed. Her skin was almost transparent and a small sheen of sweat had appeared on her brow.
Aeryn addressed Pilot, "Pilot, what can we do to help Crais?"
~Terek oil will ease his symptoms and will help him regain consciousness. He will be weak for at least an arn afterwards~
Aeryn jumped up from the bed and looked around Medical for Terek oil frantically. The others, seeing the urgency in her actions, started looking for it too.
Crichton, who still hadn't learned to read Sebacean, walked up to her, "What's the hurry? Well, apart from it being your body."
"Crais" shot him an angry glance. It was uncanny how she resembled Crais when she was angry, especially in his body, "The Velum vapours stop Moya from becoming over-anxious when she gets too excited. In bipeds it will send them into a coma if it is not treated in time. It's not only that I'm worried that it is my body that it is happening to. I'm also concerned about what it could do to Crais' mind."
A whoop from Chiana made them all look up, "I think I've found it!" She held up a small bottle. She undid the top and made a face. "Eww, this stinks enough to wake the dead," She passed the bottle to Aeryn.
Aeryn took the bottle and hurried back to Crais. She lifted her own body by the shoulders off of the bed, the head lolling weakly on her shoulders. She brought the bottle to "her" lips and let Crais drink it.
Chiana made a face, "Are you sure he has to drink that? If the taste is anything like the smell, I wouldn't want to drink it. It's even worse than one of Rygel's farts."
Aeryn ignored her outburst and continued administering the antidote. Finally, the oil seemed to take effect, and Crais moaned weakly.
His eyes fluttered open for a moment, and he groaned. Then, as "Aeryn's" head slowly slid down onto "Crais'" chest, he once again lost consciousness.
The good news was that his breathing eased, and the sweat, which had begun to pour down, seemed to stop too. Altogether, he gave the impression that his condition was beginning to improve.
All assembled watched and waited to see what would happen next. After several microns, the recumbent figure roused again. Crais tried to raise "his" head, and struggled to sit up. In a somewhat ragged and unsteady voice he said "I will recover" after which he promptly passed out again.
Crichton let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding, "When is he going to understand he's not Superman? Especially while he's in a girl's body."
"Crais" looked at him, Aeryn's usual quizzical lines appeared on Crais' face, "Who is this Zooperman?"
"He is someone who jumps over high building, flies in the air, beats baddies and stops trains. Your overall good guy."
D'Argo chuckled, "That doesn't sound like Crais at all."
"But he thinks he's invincible. He acts as though he believes he's Superman."
"I don't think he has ever met this Zooperman," said Aeryn offhandedly, "but I like the idea of an overall good guy." She looked at the sleeping figure of... herself and saw that the face had finally relaxed in rest and that the sweating had stopped, "He's right though, he will recover."
"But how about you, Aeryn," asked John, "will your body recover?"
"As Crais says, I will recover."
It was strange to see the gentleness with which "Crais" dabbed at Aeryn's forehead with a wet cloth Rygel had handed over. Crichton had a weird vision of Crais loving Aeryn in a way that he had only ever envisioned himself doing. The gentleness in his former adversary seemed alien to Crichton, and yet he believed that had the real Bialar Crais been in his own body, he would still display the same feelings that were on his face now.
Aeryn addressed Pilot, "How long will it be before we know he's all right, Pilot?"
~Depending on how much he has breathed of the vapours, the first signs should be visible soon. Alas, he has breathed in a fair amount. His bio-readings seem to be improving, Aeryn. I should not worry too much but all we can do now is be patient, and wait to see how he progresses~
Pilot added: ~It certainly was brave of Captain Crais to act so forthrightly. He did not hesitate to immediately take the necessary steps to save Moya even at risk to his own life. Indeed, all of you would have been put in grave danger by the Velum vapour~
~Moya wishes me to express her thanks to Captain Crais for his prompt action~
"I will tell him that, Pilot, when he regains consciousness," Aeryn looked down and tears appeared in her eyes.
"It was your life too he was gambling with, Aeryn, not just his own."
"I don't think he stopped to consider that, John. As Pilot said, we could all have been in danger if he hadn't acted quickly."
"Still, it might be easier with someone else's body..."
"Crais" jumped up, anger flaring in Aeryn's eyes, which were fixed on Crichton, "I think I understand why he doesn't want to stay here, the way you keep making those inane remarks. That man just risked his life for us... again and all you can think of is that he did it because he was in MY body. He would have done it in his own body, that's why he sent me away. Even if my body and his mind died, I would still be alive and Talyn would still have a Pilot."
She balled Crais' fists, and Crichton was wary of what they might do if she got any madder at him, "Sorry Aeryn, I just can't seem to help myself when it comes to the good Captain here. I don't know why he gets to me like that. I'm not usually this unreasonable..."
Chiana grinned and popped up, "Yeah, old man, you're the soul of reason. Why, I remember..."
D'Argo growled, "Chiana..."
"Well, remember the time, oh, frell, where do I even start?" There was the time that..."
"Enough, Chiana. John, you do seem to have a peculiar blind spot when it comes to Crais."
Crichton was about to protest that he wasn't *that* unreasonable about all things Crais when those assembled heard another moan.
They fixed their attention on the subject of their conversation once again, and watched as "Aeryn" moved her hand to rub at her brow. She once again tried to sit up, and promptly fell back unconscious a second time.
"Crais" stood by the bedside looking first at Crichton, then at the passed out Sebacean. Well, at least one of them wasn't arguing.
"Men!", she muttered.
"Aeryn, I am truly sorry about what I said about Crais. You have to believe me. It's just that he... No, it's just that I... I don't know. It is almost like two bulls in the ring. In the meadow they will eat peacefully together,but put them in the ring, and they'll fight together. That's how it is with me and Crais."
Aeryn looked at Crichton, and Crais' eyes narrowed into slits, "That is no excuse, John, and you know it. It is utter dren! Even when Crais doesn't say anything or is courteous to you, you lay in on him. So, don't give me that innocent look."
Just then a third moan was issued from the bed. Aeryn tuned back to Crais. Crais tried to focus on Aeryn but his eye kept roaming away. "All safe?" he asked hoarsely.
Aeryn took his...her hand in Crais' big hands and smiled at him, "Yes, Crais, we are all safe. Pilot says that Moya thanks you for saving her."
Crais nodded, "Was no other way... had to be done quickly... hope your body... is still all right."
"It will be. You rest now Crais," she said.
He nodded and passed promptly into what appeared to be a normal sleep. Aeryn stood up and looked at Crichton, who promptly looked away, unable to meet her stare.
"You're right, as usual, Aeryn. Look, what can I do to try to make it up to you... and him?" as he nodded toward the figure lying on the bed.
"Well, for a start, you can try at least treating him with the same courtesy you would afford a stranger, even if you can't find it in you to treat him as a friend."
Aeryn paused, and said more gently, "We should let him get some rest. Why don't we meet back in the galley in a bit? I think I'd like to stay with Crais for a few more microns and make sure that he's resting comfortably. Why don't I meet you there in about a quarter arn?"
Crichton nodded and ushered the others out, glad that he had got off so lightly. He left Crais' room.
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Part 26
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Aeryn sat down next to Crais and rested her chin on her hands, she wasn't sure if he heard her, probably not, "You are a strange man Bialar Crais. You still manage to surprise us. Still sacrificing yourself. I hope that sometime you will find a life too. Someone to be with. Someone to share your thoughts with. You shouldn't be on your own."
She had taken his hand again. Her hand felt strange under Crais' skin almost delicate and still the muscle was clearly felt.
"I... we care for you a lot, even if you don't believe us. Probably don't want to, like John. He doesn't want to believe that you have changed in all those cycles. But I believe in you Crais."
To her surprise she felt own his hand squeeze hers lightly. She looked at his face it was totally at rest. It was most likely just an involuntary action. She smiled. "Men!" She murmured to herself.
"Well, I guess I'll just sit here for a bit, and see if things stay quiet for a bit."
Aeryn sat down on the edge of the bed, and watched for any sign either that her body was regaining consciousness or was showing signs of a relapse. It -Crais- just lay there, showing no indication of either.
He looked so peaceful--innocent, even. The moody, stormy, volatile Captain was nowhere in evidence. What had Crichton called him once? "Cranky?" Not now.
After about 15 microns, she decided it was probably safe to let Crais sleep off the remaining effects of this little adventure. She got up, and stood at the bed for a moment gazing at the body lying there.
Funny, it was her body, but her first thought every time she looked at it was that of course it was Crais.
She bent over, and kissed the forehead gently, then turned to leave the room.
As she walked out, she could hear a slight noise coming from the bed Crais was sleeping on. She turned around and saw him slowly open his eyes. She moved quickly to his side again.
There was no mistake. He was awake and he was following her with his eyes. His dark eyes, which could turn to thunder within microts or gaze upon her gently, as he was doing now.
She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. His grip wasn't strong, "How are you feeling, Crais?"
"Better," he croaked, his voice still hoarse from the Velum vapours.
She got up and brought him some water, cradling her body in her hands as she helped Crais drink slowly. He lay back after taking a few sips.
"Pilot had told us you would be out for some time, guess he was wrong."
"Guess he was wrong," repeated Crais hoarsely, "How's Moya?"
"She is all right, thanks to you. She sends her best wishes and thanks you."
He nodded. For a brief moment, his eyes blinked slowly as if they were having trouble focusing, "I'm glad she's all right."
"How did you know what to do?" Aeryn was puzzled.
"Happened to Talyn once. I had a breather mask on then. I'm surprised you don't keep breather masks at the Neural cluster. Most logical place for them to be. Most emergencies in the cluster seem to be of a vaporous nature." It was clear that he was making an effort to stay awake.
"I will keep that in mind, Crais. Why don't you get some rest? I'll stay with you if you want me to," she said with concern.
He weakly shook his head, "You don't have to watch over me, Aeryn. I will be all right. I'll take my rest and you join the others. There is no need to stay."
Aeryn looked at him. She wanted to stay, if only to make him feel that he wasn't alone. He had had more than enough of that. It was time that he was shown there were people here for him, with him.
"No, Crais, I will stay. You're not alone."
Was there a glint of gratitude in his eyes? She couldn't be sure, but his hand gave hers a small squeeze. His eyes closed and his breathing eased. His hand was still resting in hers.
Aeryn relaxed on the bed once more. Still holding her... his hand, she commed the galley.
"There's been a slight change in plans. I'm going to stay here for a while yet. I'll be up with you later."
Crichton responded, "Aeryn, is everything all right back there? Do you need help?"
"No, everything's fine. It's just that Crais is still weak enough that I'd rather not leave him alone just yet. He seems to be resting comfortably, but I'd rather not take any chances."
Pilot jumped into the conversation.
~Captain Crais appears to have received the antidote in time, but exposure to Velum vapour can easily be fatal~
"All right, Aeryn, but yell out if you need anything. In fact, I think maybe I'll bring over some of that fruit juice Chiana discovered..."
"That won't be necessary, John. I'll meet you in the galley before mealtime."
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Part 27
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Crichton had just been having a heart to heart with D'Argo before Aeryn interrupted.
D'Argo laid a hand on Crichton's shoulder, "Don't worry John, he'll... she'll be fine. They both will be. Trust me."
Crichton sat down again, "I have been a jerk. If Aeryn is going to kick me to Hezmana, I can't blame her. Crais saved us and all I could think of was what the effect would be on Aeryn's body afterwards. I can understand why she would be mad with me."
Chiana sat opposite him, "Hey, I can understand it. You love her and when you saw her body all weak and... unconscious, of course you were worried for her. And I can understand that you were mad with Crais for putting her in that situation."
"But I don't think Crais even stopped to think he was still in Aeryn's body. As always, he just reacted to a situation," said Rygel.
"I know," answered Crichton quietly, "Still... Why can't I just bring him a fruit juice?"
Rygel brought his hover throne close to Crichton, "You have to trust them. If you go in there now, then you will be behaving like a... jerk. It would show her that you don't trust her with Crais. He's resting now. She's concerned for him. Leave them be." His eyebrows were twitching in agitation.
Crichton had to admit that the little Dominar was probably right. No, he was definitely right.
So now he was having to take advice about his love life from Buckwheat? How bad was that!
Still he had his doubts. For Cycles he had believed that Crais had "plans" for Aeryn. It was not something he could shake that easily, and yet...
The conversations of the last few arns had made him come to understand many things. Aeryn loved him. Crais loved her as a Sister. Although the last one was a bit hazy because it was not your normal brother/sister-love but those of the Peacekeepers. Or was it Sebacean? His mind was a bit muddled on that point.
And Crais was alone. What they had believed to be a preferred state of mind was more like an enforced state of mind. One Crais had imposed on himself. Was it a search for Redemption?
Crichton kicked himself mentally. Whatever Crais' reasons behind it, it was more honourable than Crichton had imagined and by doubting it, he made himself look like the biggest jerk in the whole of the frelling universe.
Crichton looked up at the little green Hynerian.
"Ok, Rygel, you win. I wrote to "Dear Sparky", and I'll take my medicine like a big boy."
The Hynerian backed his anti-grav sled away a bit; his face held a self-satisfied smile, "You'll see, Crichton, it's the intelligent way to handle this." In a much lower undertone, he muttered something about that being why it was up to him to make the recommendation.
The human yelled out, "Hey, Pilot, as long as we're just sitting around enjoying our fruit juice, is there anything we should know about these valium vapours?"
Pilot's disembodied voice said in a slightly irritated and exasperated tone, ~They're Velum vapours, Crichton!~
The human cracked a grin, "Yeah, that's what you think. Anyway, what more can you tell us about these vapours?
~Well Velum vapours are part of a Leviathan's higher functions~ intoned Pilot as if he was speaking to children, ~It is needed when the Leviathan becomes over-active. The vapours are normally released quite naturally into the nexus. It was only when the connections within the cluster were somehow breached that it become a danger to the crew~
Pilot paused for a moment, ~If untreated, or if not treated in time, it affects the brain first and then the body. The brain slips into a coma and if left to breathe even more of the vapours it will, eventually, affect the nerves~
~Crais has inhaled a fair amount but luckily the antidote was given quickly. His mind and Aeryn's body will be safe and will fully recover~
"Thank you Pilot," replied Crichton, "How's Crais by the way?"
~Resting. He regained consciousness for a brief period and is now asleep and resting~
Crichton continued to quiz Pilot about the valium...Velum vapour.
"Does the vapour mean that anything else is wrong with Moya? Or is this just like Rygel's little helium problem? Is there a reason that Moya's stress levels are higher than they should be?"
That got D'Argo's attention, and he waited for Pilot's reply with interest.
Pilot answered a little testily, ~Moya is functioning perfectly, Commander. She is only a little upset with the plight of young Talyn. It distresses her that he is withouthis Pilot at the moment. The Velum vapours should not cause any further problems. There is nothing you need to be concerned about~
Crichton tried to placate Pilot, "I didn't mean to offend you, or Moya, I was only concerned that there might something else wrong with Moya."
~There is nothing wrong~ replied Pilot again, ~In a normal situation, Moya suffers no discomfort from it. However, because of the bad connection, too much of the vapour was being released. If it hadn't been fixed promptly, it could effectively have killed us and probably Moya too~
"Alright, Pilot. I just didn't want Moya to be in distress if we could do something to help her. Please tell her that.
As far as Talyn's "pilot", we'll get Crais back in touch with Talyn as soon as we can, believe me."
Crichton looked around at the others in the galley. He thought of asking about how Talyn was taking being separated from his Pilot, but suddenly decided that maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. Crais had seemed very concerned about broaching the subject of Talyn's love life with him. For once, Crichton managed to avoid putting foot in mouth. Let Crais have his heart to heart with the little gunship. God knows those two seemed to have an understanding of each other that no one else seemed able to manage with either of them.
Pilot responded, somewhat mollified ~Moya understands that you mean well, Commander. So do I. We just would not want to let you down, or have you needlessly concerned for our welfare~
"Thank you Pilot. We only had yours and Moya's best interest at heart," replied Crichton.
~We understand~ said Pilot.
Crichton looked at the others, "You sure we shouldn't be checking on Aeryn and Crais?"
"Crichton!" Rygel said with force, "They are all right. If they are not, they will tell us and call for us. Relax."
Crichton crossed his hands and tried to look patient. That lasted for almost five microns. His tapping on the table with his hands and then his low humming of some unknown tune finally got to the others and they left him sitting on his own in the galley.
Crais saw the trust and affection beaming out at him. It didn't matter that Aeryn's soul inhabited his body. This was the woman whom he had once been so attracted to years ago, when he had been her Captain, and she just one of his newest Prowler pilots... the woman he had sentenced to death and whom he once might actually have executed... the woman who, finding him trapped in the Aurora chair, had restarted his torture in it. The woman who had saved his life, and whose life he had saved. The woman whose mother he had killed to save her only daughter. The woman he had loved, enough to let her go free and unclaimed when he could have easily coerced her to accompany him.
He realized that he really did have her love, even if it wasn't the love he had once desired from her.
Valldon... sigh. Afterwards, he had in despair proposed to leave Talyn. The two of them, Crais and Talyn, had mended fences afterwards. Talyn had somehow managed to stop the cybernetic bleedback after that. When they had lain in Crais' chamber last night, Aeryn had found only the faintest of scars on his torso.
.
The eyes that met hers had once again regained the strength that she had wanted to experience, and Aeryn smiled. This was her Captain.
When she came on board his Carrier, she had seen his covert looks, had at one time even hoped that he would summon her to his room, but it had never come to pass. She had heard that he was engrossed in the Leviathan-project and hardly had time for relaxation or, rather, hardly gave himself the time to do so.
She had been shocked and hurt when he condemned her, pronounced her Irrevocably Contaminated. She had believed that her life was over. It took her a long time to realise that it had only started then. When she had discovered him in the Aurora Chair, she found a way to get back at him and hadn't even stopped to think what would happen to him. She had been so angry that she lashed out with the means so suddenly at her disposal. When he later came on board Moya, she had secretly felt relieved that he had survived the Chair.
He had given her life by condemning her, and she had given him his sanity back by leaving him in the Chair. Ironic, wasn't it?
He had saved them many a time even though they had always questioned his motives, right up to what everyone thought was the end. But she had seen him change, had seen him grow, and she had realised that he was a different man, even stronger than when he had been her Commander.
She had seen his love for her on Valldon, and she had rejected it. It would have been easy, too easy to give in to it. She was glad that he hadn't pushed it; he had never brought up the subject again after that night.
And then they had finally met up again, almost a cycle after the Command Carrier had been blown up. She would always remember the joy she had seen briefly on his features when he knew they were alive, before his calm and control was back in place. The calm and control she so envied.
But even after that, he seemed to keep to himself, always giving the impression that he feared to intrude on them. Wouldn't or couldn't believe that they didn't meet him with distrust anymore. Couldn't see that they were happy to see him, and not only Talyn.
Being Irrevocably Contaminated didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. They had all come a long way.
Aeryn smiled, bathed in a feeling of peace and contentment that had evaded her for a long time.
In fact, the only other time she had felt like this was when she had shared those precious moments with the other Crichton on board Talyn, before DamBaDa.
She found herself thinking that this was the first time that she had been able to remember those moments without feeling immersed in pain. Not that she didn't still feel some pain, she always would. If she lived as long as the oldest Sebacean ever had, she still would. But for the first time, she could face that memory without wanting to die. She could think about it, roll those memories about in her mind, taste them, and let them be.
She resolved to revisit those memories again. For now, she had other things to think about.
They were all Irreversibly Contaminated. She smiled, and felt that smile through and through to her very soul. Lucky them!
.
Crais had seen the emotions flit past his face and found that he could recognise and understand them. He had been feeling similar emotions in the last few microns.
At one time, he had wanted his old life back, to be in command again, to be a Peacekeeper. But the longer he stayed away from the Corps, the better he felt. He had been able to save others and not only Moya's crew, had been able to experience what a true Peacekeeper should be.
The first Cycle had been difficult. For nearly 30 cycles the Peacekeepers had been his life, had been the air he breathed. To command and be commanded. In a way life had been simple. Now, after nearly 5 cycles, he wouldn't want to have his former life back again. It was a closed book. It was time to look ahead, again, and review the situation. Rethink his path.
His talk to Aeryn and his reflections had strengthened him. He had to admit to giving some credit to Crichton too, but it had been Aeryn's understanding that had helped him most.
He straightened his shoulders (or rather Aeryn's), and a calm settled over his mind, which he hadn't felt for a long time. The last time he had felt this calm was when he and Talyn had resigned themselves to facing almost certain death during their StarBurst from within the Command Carrier.
He had been glad for the second chance, and now it was being presented to him again. Life, in a different form this time.
Crais found his memory flashing back to the last moments on the Command Carrier. Until those last moments, he had hoped fervently, but could not be entirely sure, that Talyn would not doubt him or descend into utter unreasoning panic. He could not even have blamed the Leviathan. Failure would have been his fault, not Talyn's.
He had faced death often enough in his career as a Peacekeeper. Talyn had faced danger often in his short life too. But it was one thing for a sentient being to find oneself in a dangerous situation, another to knowingly and willingly take that step over the precipice, expecting by one's own action to end existence itself.
Even with the joinedness they shared, which no one else understood, could ever understand (except possibly for Moya and her Pilot), in the end, it was Talyn's choice. And Talyn had chosen, had trusted Crais, in those last moments.
So why was he so unsure now? Why did he have less faith in Talyn now than when they both had expected to die by their own hand in a matter of moments?
Crais thought back to his own father. He had loved his father deeply, maybe even more than he had loved his little brother. He had ceaselessly worked to attain his father's approval, although he had always felt that he had failed at that task. Somehow he had never been able to be good enough, no matter how hard he tried.
This had been part of why he had taken Tauvo's death so badly. Not that his brother had not been the one person whom Bialar had cared about throughout the years. Still waters run deep, and his love for Tauvo had been deep as an ocean. That Tauvo had been the only person whom Bialar allowed himself to care so deeply about had only meant that all of his emotional energy was channelled into this one stream.
But Tauvo's death had also been the ultimate failure, the proof that his father had judged him correctly when he found little Bialar wanting.
Was this why Crais found himself doubting himself and Talyn now? Had not Talyn proved himself already? Was Crais, in some perverse way, punishing himself for being unworthy, even if he was the only one who knew, the only one who wasn't fooled?
Crais took a deep breath. He had to trust Talyn as Talyn had trusted him that day on the Command Carrier. Talyn had trusted him then, expecting they would probably die honourably, with only a slim possibility that they would come out of it alive. He had not hesitated in his actions.
Crais now had to trust Talyn to return to him, and it should have been without hesitation. It was unfair to his friend not to trust him. It was unfair to his friend to deny him the chance to be happy.
They had trusted each other for so long. Now his doubt that he truly had such a trusted friend was stopping Talyn from finding happiness for himself. He could not allow that to happen.
.
When Crais turned again to Aeryn, she could see that he had made up his mind, had worked it out, and was at peace with the solution, "As soon as I can link up with Talyn, I will tell him that I will stay on board Moya while he tries his luck finding a willing female Leviathan to spend time with on his own. I owe him that."
There were tears in Aeryn's eyes and she laid a gentle hand on his cheek, "I know what this means to you, Crais, and how hard it is, too. Trust him."
"I do, Aeryn," Crais' voice had a gentleness which few had ever heard, "I know he will come back once he has found his own happiness."
"Neither of you will regret it."
Crais nodded. He knew it was the right thing to do. He smiled at Aeryn. He would put this worry out of his mind for now; tomorrow would be soon enough to deal with it.
.
Part 23
.
As Crais smiled sadly at Aeryn, Pilot's voice came over the comms.
~Excuse me, Officer Sun, Captain Crais. Ka D'Argo is requesting your presence in Moya's neural cluster. Deck 7. It appears that there is a problem with the repairs he was working on last night~
As they listened to this announcement, Moya vibrated, rather like a large dog might shake while scratching to rid itself of a particularly obnoxious flea.
Crais and Aeryn steadied themselves against a console, then looked at each other and shrugged.
Aeryn said, "We'd better go see what the trouble is now."
Crais and Aeryn reached the neural cluster in no time at all.
They entered the chamber and looked around. Vapour was rising from the cluster itself and Crais covered his mouth, coughing, "She is releasing Velum vapours. We have to stop this before it reaches the rest of the ship. You go and warn the others. Distribute breathing masks."
She nodded and ran out of the cluster, Crais coughed, as tears began to stream down Aeryn's face. The vapours stung his eyes. He looked about and saw the tools D'Argo had been working with the night before. He lurched towards them.
Frantically, he covered his mouth with one hand while he started to search for the tool he needed. Finally, he found it. The stinging had grown worse and he blinked his eyes several times. He walked over to the side of the neural cluster and started looking for the panel, which should be near the base of the cluster.
He coughed again. When he finally located the panel, he took his hand away from his face, since that was becoming less and less effective. Besides, he was going to need both hands. He sank to his knees and opened the panel.
He poked around inside with the three-thronged welder until he found the faulty circuit. Either D'Argo had missed it or, more likely, it had burned through overnight. His coughing grew worse. He drew the tool satchel towards him and looked inside. He found a replacement circuit and now worked swiftly to exchange the faulty circuit with the new one.
The vapour cloud stopped streaming out, and Crais closed the panel with shaking hands. Moya stopped shuddering.
With a hoarse voice he addressed Pilot, "Pilot, release the excess Velum vapour into space." He coughed and doubled over, clutching the rim of the cluster while he tried to get his breath back.
~I can't while you are still in the cluster Crais~
"I'll be gone soon," Crais stumbled to his feet and made his way to the exit. His view was becoming distorted and he lurched, he had breathed in too much of the gas. Just a few more steps. His eyes rolled up in their sockets as Aeryn's body crashed to the floor.
.
Part 24
.
Meanwhile, Aeryn had gotten as far as the next level and a ways down a corridor before she saw D'Argo and Crichton approaching.
The Luxan boomed at "Crais", "Aeryn, what the Hezmana is going wrong now? Pilot commed us about an emergency in the neural cluster, and then out of nowhere, Moya started shaking like a sick sheebath."
Crichton pitched in, "Yeah, it felt like San Francisco for a while there. Hey, where's Aeryn...er Crais?" He found himself speeding from concern to the beginnings of panic in 60 microts.
Aeryn traversed the rest of the distance to her shipmates. They all hung onto anything they could find as Moya gave a particularly violent lurch.
"Crais is back in the neural cluster, one deck up from here. He sent me to warn you. He told me we need to get breathing masks on, said something about "Velum vapours"."
Pilot's voice broke in ~Captain Crais has repaired the problem but there is still a large amount of the vapour present in the neural cluster and it is still affecting Moya. I cannot release the vapours into space until someone takes Aeryn's body out of the cluster~
Crichton looked in bewilderment at Aeryn, "Captain Crais had repaired.... Aeryn's body...?" Then realisation hit him. He ran to the Neural cluster, Aeryn hot on his heels. The urgency gave her a shot of extra speed, and she overtook Crichton in his rush to the cluster.
They saw Aeryn's body slumped near the exit of the Neural cluster, unconscious. Crichton knelt next to her body and cradled her in his arms, "Aeryn..."
"I'm here John," said Aeryn behind him, "You're talking to Crais now, remember? We have to get him out of here fast." Moya rocked again. "Come on, John!"
Aeryn grew impatient and took the initiative of lifting Aeryn off of the floor. She ran with her burden safely tucked against Crais' chest away from the cluster. She could hear Crichton's steps right behind her.
She placed her own body on the floor in the next corridor. A "whoosh" behind them let them know that Moya had closed off the corridor to the Neural cluster and was releasing the vapours into space.
Aeryn slapped her own face gently, "Wake up Crais, you... we are safe now."
Aeryn's head lolled on her shoulders as Crais came to, "Velum... vapours... gone."
"Yes, Crais, they are gone, but you have to wake up."
Crais opened his eyes but found it difficult to focus on Aeryn.
He slumped back into oblivion again.
Aeryn was shaking his... her own body, urging him back to consciousness with every fibre of her being, as though she could call him back by sheer force of will. She found herself pleading with him, as though he were merely being contrary and was choosing to ignore her.
Crichton was awash in emotions too. At his side was the consciousness of the woman he loved more than life itself. Her body, though... it lay so still, as still as death.
He wracked his brain in search of any knowledge it might hold regarding the vapours.
D'Argo knelt down alongside Aeryn, opposite his human friend. After a few moments, it became obvious that if Crais were going to regain consciousness, it would not likely be very soon.
He gently moved Aeryn aside, and picked up the female body. Cradling it carefully, he began to carry it towards the chamber that the ex-Peacekeeper Captain had adopted as his home away from Talyn.
.
Part 25
.
Ka D'Argo stepped away from the bed after he lowered Aeryn's form onto the bed. Her skin was almost transparent and a small sheen of sweat had appeared on her brow.
Aeryn addressed Pilot, "Pilot, what can we do to help Crais?"
~Terek oil will ease his symptoms and will help him regain consciousness. He will be weak for at least an arn afterwards~
Aeryn jumped up from the bed and looked around Medical for Terek oil frantically. The others, seeing the urgency in her actions, started looking for it too.
Crichton, who still hadn't learned to read Sebacean, walked up to her, "What's the hurry? Well, apart from it being your body."
"Crais" shot him an angry glance. It was uncanny how she resembled Crais when she was angry, especially in his body, "The Velum vapours stop Moya from becoming over-anxious when she gets too excited. In bipeds it will send them into a coma if it is not treated in time. It's not only that I'm worried that it is my body that it is happening to. I'm also concerned about what it could do to Crais' mind."
A whoop from Chiana made them all look up, "I think I've found it!" She held up a small bottle. She undid the top and made a face. "Eww, this stinks enough to wake the dead," She passed the bottle to Aeryn.
Aeryn took the bottle and hurried back to Crais. She lifted her own body by the shoulders off of the bed, the head lolling weakly on her shoulders. She brought the bottle to "her" lips and let Crais drink it.
Chiana made a face, "Are you sure he has to drink that? If the taste is anything like the smell, I wouldn't want to drink it. It's even worse than one of Rygel's farts."
Aeryn ignored her outburst and continued administering the antidote. Finally, the oil seemed to take effect, and Crais moaned weakly.
His eyes fluttered open for a moment, and he groaned. Then, as "Aeryn's" head slowly slid down onto "Crais'" chest, he once again lost consciousness.
The good news was that his breathing eased, and the sweat, which had begun to pour down, seemed to stop too. Altogether, he gave the impression that his condition was beginning to improve.
All assembled watched and waited to see what would happen next. After several microns, the recumbent figure roused again. Crais tried to raise "his" head, and struggled to sit up. In a somewhat ragged and unsteady voice he said "I will recover" after which he promptly passed out again.
Crichton let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding, "When is he going to understand he's not Superman? Especially while he's in a girl's body."
"Crais" looked at him, Aeryn's usual quizzical lines appeared on Crais' face, "Who is this Zooperman?"
"He is someone who jumps over high building, flies in the air, beats baddies and stops trains. Your overall good guy."
D'Argo chuckled, "That doesn't sound like Crais at all."
"But he thinks he's invincible. He acts as though he believes he's Superman."
"I don't think he has ever met this Zooperman," said Aeryn offhandedly, "but I like the idea of an overall good guy." She looked at the sleeping figure of... herself and saw that the face had finally relaxed in rest and that the sweating had stopped, "He's right though, he will recover."
"But how about you, Aeryn," asked John, "will your body recover?"
"As Crais says, I will recover."
It was strange to see the gentleness with which "Crais" dabbed at Aeryn's forehead with a wet cloth Rygel had handed over. Crichton had a weird vision of Crais loving Aeryn in a way that he had only ever envisioned himself doing. The gentleness in his former adversary seemed alien to Crichton, and yet he believed that had the real Bialar Crais been in his own body, he would still display the same feelings that were on his face now.
Aeryn addressed Pilot, "How long will it be before we know he's all right, Pilot?"
~Depending on how much he has breathed of the vapours, the first signs should be visible soon. Alas, he has breathed in a fair amount. His bio-readings seem to be improving, Aeryn. I should not worry too much but all we can do now is be patient, and wait to see how he progresses~
Pilot added: ~It certainly was brave of Captain Crais to act so forthrightly. He did not hesitate to immediately take the necessary steps to save Moya even at risk to his own life. Indeed, all of you would have been put in grave danger by the Velum vapour~
~Moya wishes me to express her thanks to Captain Crais for his prompt action~
"I will tell him that, Pilot, when he regains consciousness," Aeryn looked down and tears appeared in her eyes.
"It was your life too he was gambling with, Aeryn, not just his own."
"I don't think he stopped to consider that, John. As Pilot said, we could all have been in danger if he hadn't acted quickly."
"Still, it might be easier with someone else's body..."
"Crais" jumped up, anger flaring in Aeryn's eyes, which were fixed on Crichton, "I think I understand why he doesn't want to stay here, the way you keep making those inane remarks. That man just risked his life for us... again and all you can think of is that he did it because he was in MY body. He would have done it in his own body, that's why he sent me away. Even if my body and his mind died, I would still be alive and Talyn would still have a Pilot."
She balled Crais' fists, and Crichton was wary of what they might do if she got any madder at him, "Sorry Aeryn, I just can't seem to help myself when it comes to the good Captain here. I don't know why he gets to me like that. I'm not usually this unreasonable..."
Chiana grinned and popped up, "Yeah, old man, you're the soul of reason. Why, I remember..."
D'Argo growled, "Chiana..."
"Well, remember the time, oh, frell, where do I even start?" There was the time that..."
"Enough, Chiana. John, you do seem to have a peculiar blind spot when it comes to Crais."
Crichton was about to protest that he wasn't *that* unreasonable about all things Crais when those assembled heard another moan.
They fixed their attention on the subject of their conversation once again, and watched as "Aeryn" moved her hand to rub at her brow. She once again tried to sit up, and promptly fell back unconscious a second time.
"Crais" stood by the bedside looking first at Crichton, then at the passed out Sebacean. Well, at least one of them wasn't arguing.
"Men!", she muttered.
"Aeryn, I am truly sorry about what I said about Crais. You have to believe me. It's just that he... No, it's just that I... I don't know. It is almost like two bulls in the ring. In the meadow they will eat peacefully together,but put them in the ring, and they'll fight together. That's how it is with me and Crais."
Aeryn looked at Crichton, and Crais' eyes narrowed into slits, "That is no excuse, John, and you know it. It is utter dren! Even when Crais doesn't say anything or is courteous to you, you lay in on him. So, don't give me that innocent look."
Just then a third moan was issued from the bed. Aeryn tuned back to Crais. Crais tried to focus on Aeryn but his eye kept roaming away. "All safe?" he asked hoarsely.
Aeryn took his...her hand in Crais' big hands and smiled at him, "Yes, Crais, we are all safe. Pilot says that Moya thanks you for saving her."
Crais nodded, "Was no other way... had to be done quickly... hope your body... is still all right."
"It will be. You rest now Crais," she said.
He nodded and passed promptly into what appeared to be a normal sleep. Aeryn stood up and looked at Crichton, who promptly looked away, unable to meet her stare.
"You're right, as usual, Aeryn. Look, what can I do to try to make it up to you... and him?" as he nodded toward the figure lying on the bed.
"Well, for a start, you can try at least treating him with the same courtesy you would afford a stranger, even if you can't find it in you to treat him as a friend."
Aeryn paused, and said more gently, "We should let him get some rest. Why don't we meet back in the galley in a bit? I think I'd like to stay with Crais for a few more microns and make sure that he's resting comfortably. Why don't I meet you there in about a quarter arn?"
Crichton nodded and ushered the others out, glad that he had got off so lightly. He left Crais' room.
.
Part 26
.
Aeryn sat down next to Crais and rested her chin on her hands, she wasn't sure if he heard her, probably not, "You are a strange man Bialar Crais. You still manage to surprise us. Still sacrificing yourself. I hope that sometime you will find a life too. Someone to be with. Someone to share your thoughts with. You shouldn't be on your own."
She had taken his hand again. Her hand felt strange under Crais' skin almost delicate and still the muscle was clearly felt.
"I... we care for you a lot, even if you don't believe us. Probably don't want to, like John. He doesn't want to believe that you have changed in all those cycles. But I believe in you Crais."
To her surprise she felt own his hand squeeze hers lightly. She looked at his face it was totally at rest. It was most likely just an involuntary action. She smiled. "Men!" She murmured to herself.
"Well, I guess I'll just sit here for a bit, and see if things stay quiet for a bit."
Aeryn sat down on the edge of the bed, and watched for any sign either that her body was regaining consciousness or was showing signs of a relapse. It -Crais- just lay there, showing no indication of either.
He looked so peaceful--innocent, even. The moody, stormy, volatile Captain was nowhere in evidence. What had Crichton called him once? "Cranky?" Not now.
After about 15 microns, she decided it was probably safe to let Crais sleep off the remaining effects of this little adventure. She got up, and stood at the bed for a moment gazing at the body lying there.
Funny, it was her body, but her first thought every time she looked at it was that of course it was Crais.
She bent over, and kissed the forehead gently, then turned to leave the room.
As she walked out, she could hear a slight noise coming from the bed Crais was sleeping on. She turned around and saw him slowly open his eyes. She moved quickly to his side again.
There was no mistake. He was awake and he was following her with his eyes. His dark eyes, which could turn to thunder within microts or gaze upon her gently, as he was doing now.
She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. His grip wasn't strong, "How are you feeling, Crais?"
"Better," he croaked, his voice still hoarse from the Velum vapours.
She got up and brought him some water, cradling her body in her hands as she helped Crais drink slowly. He lay back after taking a few sips.
"Pilot had told us you would be out for some time, guess he was wrong."
"Guess he was wrong," repeated Crais hoarsely, "How's Moya?"
"She is all right, thanks to you. She sends her best wishes and thanks you."
He nodded. For a brief moment, his eyes blinked slowly as if they were having trouble focusing, "I'm glad she's all right."
"How did you know what to do?" Aeryn was puzzled.
"Happened to Talyn once. I had a breather mask on then. I'm surprised you don't keep breather masks at the Neural cluster. Most logical place for them to be. Most emergencies in the cluster seem to be of a vaporous nature." It was clear that he was making an effort to stay awake.
"I will keep that in mind, Crais. Why don't you get some rest? I'll stay with you if you want me to," she said with concern.
He weakly shook his head, "You don't have to watch over me, Aeryn. I will be all right. I'll take my rest and you join the others. There is no need to stay."
Aeryn looked at him. She wanted to stay, if only to make him feel that he wasn't alone. He had had more than enough of that. It was time that he was shown there were people here for him, with him.
"No, Crais, I will stay. You're not alone."
Was there a glint of gratitude in his eyes? She couldn't be sure, but his hand gave hers a small squeeze. His eyes closed and his breathing eased. His hand was still resting in hers.
Aeryn relaxed on the bed once more. Still holding her... his hand, she commed the galley.
"There's been a slight change in plans. I'm going to stay here for a while yet. I'll be up with you later."
Crichton responded, "Aeryn, is everything all right back there? Do you need help?"
"No, everything's fine. It's just that Crais is still weak enough that I'd rather not leave him alone just yet. He seems to be resting comfortably, but I'd rather not take any chances."
Pilot jumped into the conversation.
~Captain Crais appears to have received the antidote in time, but exposure to Velum vapour can easily be fatal~
"All right, Aeryn, but yell out if you need anything. In fact, I think maybe I'll bring over some of that fruit juice Chiana discovered..."
"That won't be necessary, John. I'll meet you in the galley before mealtime."
.
Part 27
.
Crichton had just been having a heart to heart with D'Argo before Aeryn interrupted.
D'Argo laid a hand on Crichton's shoulder, "Don't worry John, he'll... she'll be fine. They both will be. Trust me."
Crichton sat down again, "I have been a jerk. If Aeryn is going to kick me to Hezmana, I can't blame her. Crais saved us and all I could think of was what the effect would be on Aeryn's body afterwards. I can understand why she would be mad with me."
Chiana sat opposite him, "Hey, I can understand it. You love her and when you saw her body all weak and... unconscious, of course you were worried for her. And I can understand that you were mad with Crais for putting her in that situation."
"But I don't think Crais even stopped to think he was still in Aeryn's body. As always, he just reacted to a situation," said Rygel.
"I know," answered Crichton quietly, "Still... Why can't I just bring him a fruit juice?"
Rygel brought his hover throne close to Crichton, "You have to trust them. If you go in there now, then you will be behaving like a... jerk. It would show her that you don't trust her with Crais. He's resting now. She's concerned for him. Leave them be." His eyebrows were twitching in agitation.
Crichton had to admit that the little Dominar was probably right. No, he was definitely right.
So now he was having to take advice about his love life from Buckwheat? How bad was that!
Still he had his doubts. For Cycles he had believed that Crais had "plans" for Aeryn. It was not something he could shake that easily, and yet...
The conversations of the last few arns had made him come to understand many things. Aeryn loved him. Crais loved her as a Sister. Although the last one was a bit hazy because it was not your normal brother/sister-love but those of the Peacekeepers. Or was it Sebacean? His mind was a bit muddled on that point.
And Crais was alone. What they had believed to be a preferred state of mind was more like an enforced state of mind. One Crais had imposed on himself. Was it a search for Redemption?
Crichton kicked himself mentally. Whatever Crais' reasons behind it, it was more honourable than Crichton had imagined and by doubting it, he made himself look like the biggest jerk in the whole of the frelling universe.
Crichton looked up at the little green Hynerian.
"Ok, Rygel, you win. I wrote to "Dear Sparky", and I'll take my medicine like a big boy."
The Hynerian backed his anti-grav sled away a bit; his face held a self-satisfied smile, "You'll see, Crichton, it's the intelligent way to handle this." In a much lower undertone, he muttered something about that being why it was up to him to make the recommendation.
The human yelled out, "Hey, Pilot, as long as we're just sitting around enjoying our fruit juice, is there anything we should know about these valium vapours?"
Pilot's disembodied voice said in a slightly irritated and exasperated tone, ~They're Velum vapours, Crichton!~
The human cracked a grin, "Yeah, that's what you think. Anyway, what more can you tell us about these vapours?
~Well Velum vapours are part of a Leviathan's higher functions~ intoned Pilot as if he was speaking to children, ~It is needed when the Leviathan becomes over-active. The vapours are normally released quite naturally into the nexus. It was only when the connections within the cluster were somehow breached that it become a danger to the crew~
Pilot paused for a moment, ~If untreated, or if not treated in time, it affects the brain first and then the body. The brain slips into a coma and if left to breathe even more of the vapours it will, eventually, affect the nerves~
~Crais has inhaled a fair amount but luckily the antidote was given quickly. His mind and Aeryn's body will be safe and will fully recover~
"Thank you Pilot," replied Crichton, "How's Crais by the way?"
~Resting. He regained consciousness for a brief period and is now asleep and resting~
Crichton continued to quiz Pilot about the valium...Velum vapour.
"Does the vapour mean that anything else is wrong with Moya? Or is this just like Rygel's little helium problem? Is there a reason that Moya's stress levels are higher than they should be?"
That got D'Argo's attention, and he waited for Pilot's reply with interest.
Pilot answered a little testily, ~Moya is functioning perfectly, Commander. She is only a little upset with the plight of young Talyn. It distresses her that he is withouthis Pilot at the moment. The Velum vapours should not cause any further problems. There is nothing you need to be concerned about~
Crichton tried to placate Pilot, "I didn't mean to offend you, or Moya, I was only concerned that there might something else wrong with Moya."
~There is nothing wrong~ replied Pilot again, ~In a normal situation, Moya suffers no discomfort from it. However, because of the bad connection, too much of the vapour was being released. If it hadn't been fixed promptly, it could effectively have killed us and probably Moya too~
"Alright, Pilot. I just didn't want Moya to be in distress if we could do something to help her. Please tell her that.
As far as Talyn's "pilot", we'll get Crais back in touch with Talyn as soon as we can, believe me."
Crichton looked around at the others in the galley. He thought of asking about how Talyn was taking being separated from his Pilot, but suddenly decided that maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea. Crais had seemed very concerned about broaching the subject of Talyn's love life with him. For once, Crichton managed to avoid putting foot in mouth. Let Crais have his heart to heart with the little gunship. God knows those two seemed to have an understanding of each other that no one else seemed able to manage with either of them.
Pilot responded, somewhat mollified ~Moya understands that you mean well, Commander. So do I. We just would not want to let you down, or have you needlessly concerned for our welfare~
"Thank you Pilot. We only had yours and Moya's best interest at heart," replied Crichton.
~We understand~ said Pilot.
Crichton looked at the others, "You sure we shouldn't be checking on Aeryn and Crais?"
"Crichton!" Rygel said with force, "They are all right. If they are not, they will tell us and call for us. Relax."
Crichton crossed his hands and tried to look patient. That lasted for almost five microns. His tapping on the table with his hands and then his low humming of some unknown tune finally got to the others and they left him sitting on his own in the galley.