Part 45
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They walked along the corridor, not as much in haste as they would normally do, quite comfortable with each other's company now. Crais broke the silence, "I would like to instruct you on the Vah'ni Panthak. Crichton had shown an interest as well. Even though he might not become as adept as you will be. By instructing him too, you might find a welcome workout together from the standard discipline."
Aeryn was surprised that he would come with the proposal himself, "You would like to instruct him too?"
Crais nodded slowly, "I think I would. I will not be on Moya forever. Exercising the discipline is more enjoyable with two people. I have missed that."
Aeryn couldn't believe her ears, Crais admitting to something he missed and enjoyed was new. She started to understand the depth of his loneliness more, "I'm sure John would appreciate that."
He smiled wryly, "He might find it even more enjoyable if I instruct him on the Sar'tha Panthak."
Aeryn looked mischievously at him, "Now that would get his attention."
This time a broad smile appeared on "Aeryn's" face, "I am sure he would but to achieve that he will have to be a first-level Vah'ni Panthak first. Think that would make him study better?"
Aeryn laughed.
"Yes, I imagine that would be an effective inducement. But, you know, Crais, Crichton isn't as much of a sluggard as he sometimes makes himself out to be.
He was apparently quite athletic when he was young, and he wouldn't have had a career in his home planet's space program, pathetic as it was, unless he was in good physical shape.
When he first appeared in this sector of space"--she looked sideways at Crais for a moment, watching for a reaction from him--"I thought he was 'soft'".
Well, I misjudged him. He wasn't military--not as we understand the term--but he wasn't soft either. Since then, he's worked at getting and keeping himself in better shape. Not that he'll ever be as strong as a Sebacean--but sheer physical strength isn't all that matters."
Crais responded: "I thought he was "soft" too. I meant to terrorize him on that first day. I thought it was only fair to cause him to suffer as Tauvo had, as I had. I misjudged him, and not only physically."
Crais sighed.
"When Maldis had us... Crichton was the one who was able to resist him. He tried to help me to do the same, but I was the weak one. Even physically--Crichton with such inferior martial training was still able to resist me.
"Of course I was half-mad with grief over Tauvo's death." Now it was Crais glancing sideways at Aeryn, but she betrayed no more reaction than he had a few moments earlier.
"In any case, Crichton is no Sebacean, but he has his merits."
Crais grinned. "So, Officer Sun, shall you explain to him about the Sar'tha Panthak discipline, or shall I?"
Aeryn grinned back, "It might be better coming from you. Crichton always talks about "bonding" but he means it different from what we understand it to be. To him it has nothing to do with finding a mate."
Crais was confused, "Then what does he mean?"
"I am not quite sure," answered Aeryn, "He talks about kah's and football and none of us has any idea what he's talking about but he considers it part of bonding and he misses it."
"It will not be easy to explain this to Crichton then is that what you are saying," there was a hint of disappointment on Crais' face. Once he had made the step to tell Crichton about the Sar'tha Panthak he quite warmed to the idea but if it was going to be impossible...
"No, I think it will be good for him. he normally only has Ka D'Argo to speak to as man to man but since D'Argo and Chiana are back together again..." her voice trailed off.
"I will try," replied Crais.
.
They had reached the terrace and stepped in. Crichton turned when he saw them enter.
He saw two Sebaceans approaching at a leisurely pace. Had he ever watched Bialar Crais do anything at a leisurely pace?
They gave the impression of being intimately comfortable with themselves and with each other, which, given the circumstances, struck him as even weirder.
Aeryn spoke first. "John, Pilot told us we could find you here." She searched his eyes trying to judge what he was thinking and feeling.
"It's getting late."
Crais added with no obvious sign of concern: "Those 24 hours are almost up. We need to discuss what to do next.
Crichton responded, "There isn't much to discuss, is there?"
Still, there was no obvious rancour or sarcasm in his voice, just an admission that there was little they could do about the situation at this stage of the game. He smiled a bit ruefully.
"It's alright. Yes, it's been a long day." Ludicrously, he realized that an old Beatles tune had just popped into his head.
"Crais" looked a bit sheepishly, the expression on Crais' face made Crichton smile, he had seen the expression many times on Aeryn's face when she was trying to tell him something but didn't know how to but he had never seen it on Crais.
"Well... uhn the 24 arns are nearly up but I am not sure whether we have to be asleep for the transformation to reverse itself or if it just happens," she looked at Crichton and Crais.
It was Crais who spoke up, "If we have to be asleep then we only need to go to sleep. If, on the other hand, it just reverts than if shouldn't differ whether we are asleep or not."
Crais couldn't be vaulted for his logic but Crichton was confused why that should pose a problem.
Crais continued, "The best viable option would be to go to sleep. We can probably use my quarters to fall asleep and hope to wake up transformed back to our former selves. That way if we wake up and the transformation hasn't taken place then we know immediately."
Crichton's intake of the words had stopped when Crais has said "my quarters:, "Oh, no. I can't allow that to happen."
Crais grew impatient and a frown appeared over "Aeryn's" brow, "You do have a problem with that?"
Aeryn covered the remaining ground between her and Crichton, stopping just short of him. She was about to caress his cheek, but as she lifted her hand, she realized again that Crichton was liable to become even more upset by the contact with 'Crais'.
"John, please, This has been hard enough on all of us. I thought...we can't start fighting among ourselves now."
Crais, brow furrowed, looked somewhat askance at both of them, but remained silent. *Let Aeryn do the talking for once. She won't make this worse, anyway.*
"Aeryn..."
"John, listen to me. I need you to listen to what I'm saying, and to credit that I have some idea what I'm talking about. We've depended on each other's judgement before.
"Crais is right. If the transfer works as it did last night, all will be well. If it doesn't--if something else happens (the prospect of which none of them had really dwelled on before),
then we need to know this as soon as possible, and we need to be as prepared as we can be to deal with it.
"Please, John, do this for me..."
Crichton looked from Crais to Aeryn. He saw the pleading look on "Crais'" face and the calm resignation on "Aeryn's". Strangely he felt ashamed that after what all of them had been through in the last 23 or 24 arns he could still feel doubt.
Neither Sebacean had shown any misconduct, as a matter of fact, quite the contrary. He had the feeling that they all had somehow grown towards each other, set aside some of the differences they had. Would he now shatter this by the jealousy he felt?
He looked up, "I think you are right. It will be the easiest way to find out if things work out as they were supposed to work out. And you are right, if you sleep together... uhm... fall asleep together it will be easier to establish if all went well."
Aeryn forgot momentarily that she was in Crais' body and hugged Crichton. "I knew you would understand," she said happily before realising what she had done.
Crais hid a smile behind his hand when he saw the shocked face of Crichton. In a way he had been expecting Aeryn to do this in a moment of unawareness all day. It was appropriate that she did it now.
Crichton looked over at "Aeryn" and saw how Crais tried to hide the smile that was now plastered over "Aeryn's" face. He scowled in perfect Crais-imitation at Crais.
Aeryn stepped back, "Sorry, John I didn't mean to do that. It was just, well, I knew that I could count on you."
Their eyes met, and it didn't matter that Aeryn's soul -whatever it was that made her 'Aeryn'- resided in another body. They focused on each other alone--the Sebacean on the sometimes maddening jhumon she loved, and Crichton on the Sebacean female whom he had once told Stark was 'his Zhaan'.
Crais, even though wearing Officer Sun's form, watched the pair of them. He suddenly realized that he might as well not be there for all the two of them cared. Finally, he loudly cleared his throat, and they both turned to look at 'her'.
"Aeryn, it is time. We better start the sleep-cycle as soon as possible. It might take a bit longer to fall asleep." As always the practical man, Crais had already calculated that into the equation.
"Crais" stepped back from Crichton and smiled at him, "Hopefully when I... we wake up it will be to the familiar bodies." She resisted the urge to kiss him. She turned to Crais and took a deep sigh, "I am ready."
Crais nodded and walked out of the Galley.
Before he left Crichton called him back, "Yo, Crais!"
Crais hoped that while he was on board Crichton would stop addressing him like that, he had always disliked that. He turned around and asked warily, "Yes, Crichton?"
"When you come back I hope you will smile more often, it suits you!"
"Aeryn's" face was infused with red and Crais stared in disbelief at Crichton.
'Crais' smiled as warmly as a sun when she heard this; after a moment, she didn't even try to disguise her delight.
Her first instinct was to come back with a clever retort, but she quickly thought better of it. They had all been through enough for one day, and she didn't want to 'rock the ship', as John would say, now. She merely said, "Perhaps, if we give him reason to, he will."
Crais tried to disguise his discomfort at being complimented by Crichton by quickly exiting the galley. This body betrayed too much of his feelings.
.
Part 46
.
He slowed his pace when he heard Aeryn come up behind him. He could feel his heavy hand on his shoulder when Aeryn caught up with him, until now he hadn't realised how warm his hands were, "It's all right Crais. He is right you know, your face changes dramatically when you smile. You have a very warm smile."
"Aeryn" cleared his throat, "Well, I... uhm... just have to get used to it."
"You will," she said with a smile and Crais had to agree that it did look good.
They entered his quarters and "Aeryn" took of the short tunic, while "Crais" shrugged out of the heavier one. Aeryn looked over at Crais, "Wouldn't something lighter be more comfortable Crais?"
"I didn't have time to..."
"Crais! It has been cycles now. Surely..." When she saw his resigned face she said, "Sorry, didn't want to interfere."
He nodded and went over to the bed, courtesy made him turn around to Aeryn, "Which side of the bed do you prefer?"
Aeryn smiled. "The side opposite from you, Bialar."
Her voice softened and thickened at the same time. "As long as I'm next to you, it'll be alright."
She glanced away, her face suddenly a bit flushed, then her eyes met his squarely.
Bialar hoped that Crichton understood what a treasure he had found.
.
John Crichton sat down on the sleeping surface in his own chamber. He didn't much feel like sleeping. He was a brave man, but he wasn't sure he was quite this brave.
Of course, he had committed himself, and he would not shame everybody involved by acting like an immature jerk again. (He could just hear Aeryn's voice saying "like a drannit".)
He would worry the whole night cycle through, though. He would worry about Aeryn, he would worry about Crais. He would worry about Aeryn and Crais. Hw would worry about what he would find in the morning, and what they would do about it if the Priest of Lachmon had lied. How would they find him? More importantly, how could they compel him to reverse what he had done? What if it weren't reversible?
He loved Aeryn more than life itself. He also knew that she loved him. What he wasn't so sure of was just exactly what her feelings for her former Captain, her fellow Sebacean, were. And he was much less sure of what Crais felt for her, and what he would ever do about it. Even if this were the "good" Crais...
He sat on the edge of the bed, and ran through the last five years of his life, over and over. He wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway.
He was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice the little drd he had named "1812" skitter up to his feet and park itself there, patiently watching over him and keeping him company.
In another chamber, Chi and D'Argo lay comfortably in each other's arms, sated and happy.
"So how do you think this is going to work out?"
"We'll have to wait and see. We'll know more in the morning. No matter what we find, there are going to be some interesting times around here."
"Our Bialar Crais is not the Captain Crais who was my jailor five long years ago, or the madman who chased us all over this arm of the galaxy. I don't even think he's the Crais who blew up his own Command Carrier to keep wormhole tech out of the hands of the Peacekeepers.
"Which Bialar Crais he is, we'll just have to see."
The Luxan smiled at his lover.
"But I think we have the best of the bargain."
.
Part 47
.
In Crais' quarters the subjects of everyone's thoughts lay stretched out next to each other. As Crais had predicted, sleep didn't come immediately. As a matter of fact, it seemed as if sleep were eluding them completely.
Crais lay flat on his back, his mind running and he still found it strange how "his" body didn't flatten on the bed as he was used to. He looked at the different colours on Moya's ceiling, tracing the patterns, trying to will himself to sleep.
"Crais, you asleep yet," Aeryn asked him quietly.
He sighed, "No, not yet. Can't seem to go to sleep."
"Neither can I. It almost feels like the night before battle. Too tired to go to sleep but too excited to do so," there was a wistful note in her voice.
Crais smiled, "I understand. It is what keeps me awake too."
There was silence for a moment.
"Crais, what would happen if we don't... wake up in our own bodies?"
"We just have to adjust, Aeryn. For now, don't loose hope."
Silence.
.
"I really appreciated being in your body, Crais, even if it was just only for a short time. It made me realise certain things and I hope I can keep them up once I'm back in my own body again."
Crais looked sideways at Aeryn and was struck how relaxed his face looked. He had not been aware that the lines of his own face were very strong and his nose (he smiled at himself) so prominent. Aeryn's mind gave his own face a certain softness, he would like to keep that once he was "back". "What did you realise, Aeryn," he asked softly.
"You made me realise that I am stronger than I perceived myself. Not only physically but mentally as well. When you took my body through the Vahni-Panthak... I was never confident enough that my body was able to go through the moves, you showed that it is and that it was only my own mindset that was holding it back."
She turned to face him and saw her own face observing her. There was such a calm in the features, she smiled and continued, "For the first time in a long time, I have been able to think clearly, rationally. I don't think it is really your body that is doing that to me. I think that being IN your body just gave me the... (she was looking for the right words) incentive to be calm. Part of me didn't want to change the "you" and made me calm down, settle my mind. It had been the calm I have been looking for, for such a long time."
"You did a wonderful job, Aeryn," he smiled at her. Then looked back to the ceiling again, contemplating.
"The experience in YOUR body was... a revelation for me too. As Crais, in my own body, I have always shown strength, no weakness. It is who I am. It is what people expect of me. The man who is always in charge," he grinned, "Except when I chased you all, I was mad with grief then. I'm sorry."
He continued, "Your body was different. Not that it weakened me, don't get me wrong but it was more... emotional... than mine. In the beginning I found it difficult to work with, it was so... strange... to feel myself react to matters I would normally not react to. I found peace in accepting that. It made me reveal parts of me, which I kept even hidden from myself. It made me realise that my suppression was harming Talyn. It made me realise that I do have a need for company, for friends."
"You don't have to be lonely, Crais. You know that there is a place for you here, among friends," she said it without hesitation and he was glad to hear that. "It will take some adjusting to fit in, not only from you but from all of us. We take ourselves for granted and you showed that there is more to us. Chiana, for starters, is happy to be appreciated. Ka D'Argo finally realises that when the men look at Chiana they don't always see her as a potential recreational partner. Rygel... well, he's Rygel, he won't change. Even John is coming around."
"I too have to admit that I will have to review my thinking about you all. It has been a pleasant surprise. I had not expected any of you to be so... considerate. I will do my best to adjust," he then remembered that she had left herself out of the equation. Was that deliberate?
She looked back at him, could almost see the unspoken question, "I have come to appreciate you more, Crais. I had always thought that I felt a certain... attraction to you."
He looked quickly at her, his face registered surprise, "And you don't feel that anymore?"
She smiled, "I think I do. But not in a physical manner."
His face briefly showed a regret, she place a hand on his cheek, gently, too brief, "If I did not have John I might consider you a mate, you are very attractive (he blushed) but I do love John. I think I was always attracted to the you inside you, if that makes any sense. The calm, the strength. Maybe that's why I went for this strange experience. Are you mad with me?"
"No, Aeryn, I am not mad with you. I regret that we never had the chance to be more for each other but seeing how you interact with Crichton, I am happy for you," he chuckled deeply, "Strange to admit that now. I hope he appreciates your love."
"Oh, he does."
"I do hope so or else I have to break his neck."
She looked at him stunned but giggled when she saw the smile on his face, "You do have humour."
"Don't tell Crichton that, it's a surprise."
"I won't."
The silence was comfortable.
"Let us try to go to sleep," said Crais and Aeryn agreed. They looked at the ceiling and traced the lines.
.
Part 48
.
After what was beginning to seem like forever, Crais turned over onto his side, facing away from Aeryn, and curling up a bit. Shortly after that, he heard a sigh from her. Moments later, he became intimately aware of her ('his') arm circling around his middle, as she snuggled closer to him, spooning him.
As they lay together, he found himself filled with a sense of companionship, security, and peace. He drifted off to a strangely deep and restful sleep.
Had he remained awake, he might have realized that the same was happening to Aeryn.
They slept like this until 'morning'.
There was no daylight, no rising of a sun, to revive them.
They were both used to waking up at the end of a standard cycle of sleep. For Crais, that was admittedly a much shorter period--a cycle of perhaps 3-4 arns, rather than the usual 6-8. It was still standard for him.
Gradually, they each became aware that they were once again awake. Crais had regained some semblance of awareness first, but had lain comfortably, listening to the endless symphony of noises the Leviathan produced and idly comparing them to the ones he was used to hearing onboard Talyn.
He had found that he was snuggled against his once upon a time prowler pilot, with an arm lightly and casually draped around her. He had been content to leave it there, enjoying the rare closeness, the sense of peace suffusing him.
At length, he realized that the woman he held so lightly and gently was also wakening.
He waited a few moments, allowing her a chance to gain her own bearings. "Well, Officer Sun, good morning", he softly rumbled.
He (just a bit reluctantly, but graciously) removed his arm from around her sleek torso.
She turned around to face him.
"Bialar..."
She reached over to softly caress his cheek, then let her hand travel down the length of his neck and back, stopping just above his waist.
She lingered for just a moment.
"Good morning to you."
She smiled lazily at him. After a moment, she seemed to realize their position, and she slowly retracted her arm.
Crais found himself admiring the most beautiful prowler pilot he had ever seen, the radiant Aeryn Sun.
"Aeryn..."
"Yes, Bialar?"
"Just checking", as he reclined once more on the bed, a smile softening his features.
He felt as though just maybe he wouldn't ever be quite so alone again.
THE END
.
They walked along the corridor, not as much in haste as they would normally do, quite comfortable with each other's company now. Crais broke the silence, "I would like to instruct you on the Vah'ni Panthak. Crichton had shown an interest as well. Even though he might not become as adept as you will be. By instructing him too, you might find a welcome workout together from the standard discipline."
Aeryn was surprised that he would come with the proposal himself, "You would like to instruct him too?"
Crais nodded slowly, "I think I would. I will not be on Moya forever. Exercising the discipline is more enjoyable with two people. I have missed that."
Aeryn couldn't believe her ears, Crais admitting to something he missed and enjoyed was new. She started to understand the depth of his loneliness more, "I'm sure John would appreciate that."
He smiled wryly, "He might find it even more enjoyable if I instruct him on the Sar'tha Panthak."
Aeryn looked mischievously at him, "Now that would get his attention."
This time a broad smile appeared on "Aeryn's" face, "I am sure he would but to achieve that he will have to be a first-level Vah'ni Panthak first. Think that would make him study better?"
Aeryn laughed.
"Yes, I imagine that would be an effective inducement. But, you know, Crais, Crichton isn't as much of a sluggard as he sometimes makes himself out to be.
He was apparently quite athletic when he was young, and he wouldn't have had a career in his home planet's space program, pathetic as it was, unless he was in good physical shape.
When he first appeared in this sector of space"--she looked sideways at Crais for a moment, watching for a reaction from him--"I thought he was 'soft'".
Well, I misjudged him. He wasn't military--not as we understand the term--but he wasn't soft either. Since then, he's worked at getting and keeping himself in better shape. Not that he'll ever be as strong as a Sebacean--but sheer physical strength isn't all that matters."
Crais responded: "I thought he was "soft" too. I meant to terrorize him on that first day. I thought it was only fair to cause him to suffer as Tauvo had, as I had. I misjudged him, and not only physically."
Crais sighed.
"When Maldis had us... Crichton was the one who was able to resist him. He tried to help me to do the same, but I was the weak one. Even physically--Crichton with such inferior martial training was still able to resist me.
"Of course I was half-mad with grief over Tauvo's death." Now it was Crais glancing sideways at Aeryn, but she betrayed no more reaction than he had a few moments earlier.
"In any case, Crichton is no Sebacean, but he has his merits."
Crais grinned. "So, Officer Sun, shall you explain to him about the Sar'tha Panthak discipline, or shall I?"
Aeryn grinned back, "It might be better coming from you. Crichton always talks about "bonding" but he means it different from what we understand it to be. To him it has nothing to do with finding a mate."
Crais was confused, "Then what does he mean?"
"I am not quite sure," answered Aeryn, "He talks about kah's and football and none of us has any idea what he's talking about but he considers it part of bonding and he misses it."
"It will not be easy to explain this to Crichton then is that what you are saying," there was a hint of disappointment on Crais' face. Once he had made the step to tell Crichton about the Sar'tha Panthak he quite warmed to the idea but if it was going to be impossible...
"No, I think it will be good for him. he normally only has Ka D'Argo to speak to as man to man but since D'Argo and Chiana are back together again..." her voice trailed off.
"I will try," replied Crais.
.
They had reached the terrace and stepped in. Crichton turned when he saw them enter.
He saw two Sebaceans approaching at a leisurely pace. Had he ever watched Bialar Crais do anything at a leisurely pace?
They gave the impression of being intimately comfortable with themselves and with each other, which, given the circumstances, struck him as even weirder.
Aeryn spoke first. "John, Pilot told us we could find you here." She searched his eyes trying to judge what he was thinking and feeling.
"It's getting late."
Crais added with no obvious sign of concern: "Those 24 hours are almost up. We need to discuss what to do next.
Crichton responded, "There isn't much to discuss, is there?"
Still, there was no obvious rancour or sarcasm in his voice, just an admission that there was little they could do about the situation at this stage of the game. He smiled a bit ruefully.
"It's alright. Yes, it's been a long day." Ludicrously, he realized that an old Beatles tune had just popped into his head.
"Crais" looked a bit sheepishly, the expression on Crais' face made Crichton smile, he had seen the expression many times on Aeryn's face when she was trying to tell him something but didn't know how to but he had never seen it on Crais.
"Well... uhn the 24 arns are nearly up but I am not sure whether we have to be asleep for the transformation to reverse itself or if it just happens," she looked at Crichton and Crais.
It was Crais who spoke up, "If we have to be asleep then we only need to go to sleep. If, on the other hand, it just reverts than if shouldn't differ whether we are asleep or not."
Crais couldn't be vaulted for his logic but Crichton was confused why that should pose a problem.
Crais continued, "The best viable option would be to go to sleep. We can probably use my quarters to fall asleep and hope to wake up transformed back to our former selves. That way if we wake up and the transformation hasn't taken place then we know immediately."
Crichton's intake of the words had stopped when Crais has said "my quarters:, "Oh, no. I can't allow that to happen."
Crais grew impatient and a frown appeared over "Aeryn's" brow, "You do have a problem with that?"
Aeryn covered the remaining ground between her and Crichton, stopping just short of him. She was about to caress his cheek, but as she lifted her hand, she realized again that Crichton was liable to become even more upset by the contact with 'Crais'.
"John, please, This has been hard enough on all of us. I thought...we can't start fighting among ourselves now."
Crais, brow furrowed, looked somewhat askance at both of them, but remained silent. *Let Aeryn do the talking for once. She won't make this worse, anyway.*
"Aeryn..."
"John, listen to me. I need you to listen to what I'm saying, and to credit that I have some idea what I'm talking about. We've depended on each other's judgement before.
"Crais is right. If the transfer works as it did last night, all will be well. If it doesn't--if something else happens (the prospect of which none of them had really dwelled on before),
then we need to know this as soon as possible, and we need to be as prepared as we can be to deal with it.
"Please, John, do this for me..."
Crichton looked from Crais to Aeryn. He saw the pleading look on "Crais'" face and the calm resignation on "Aeryn's". Strangely he felt ashamed that after what all of them had been through in the last 23 or 24 arns he could still feel doubt.
Neither Sebacean had shown any misconduct, as a matter of fact, quite the contrary. He had the feeling that they all had somehow grown towards each other, set aside some of the differences they had. Would he now shatter this by the jealousy he felt?
He looked up, "I think you are right. It will be the easiest way to find out if things work out as they were supposed to work out. And you are right, if you sleep together... uhm... fall asleep together it will be easier to establish if all went well."
Aeryn forgot momentarily that she was in Crais' body and hugged Crichton. "I knew you would understand," she said happily before realising what she had done.
Crais hid a smile behind his hand when he saw the shocked face of Crichton. In a way he had been expecting Aeryn to do this in a moment of unawareness all day. It was appropriate that she did it now.
Crichton looked over at "Aeryn" and saw how Crais tried to hide the smile that was now plastered over "Aeryn's" face. He scowled in perfect Crais-imitation at Crais.
Aeryn stepped back, "Sorry, John I didn't mean to do that. It was just, well, I knew that I could count on you."
Their eyes met, and it didn't matter that Aeryn's soul -whatever it was that made her 'Aeryn'- resided in another body. They focused on each other alone--the Sebacean on the sometimes maddening jhumon she loved, and Crichton on the Sebacean female whom he had once told Stark was 'his Zhaan'.
Crais, even though wearing Officer Sun's form, watched the pair of them. He suddenly realized that he might as well not be there for all the two of them cared. Finally, he loudly cleared his throat, and they both turned to look at 'her'.
"Aeryn, it is time. We better start the sleep-cycle as soon as possible. It might take a bit longer to fall asleep." As always the practical man, Crais had already calculated that into the equation.
"Crais" stepped back from Crichton and smiled at him, "Hopefully when I... we wake up it will be to the familiar bodies." She resisted the urge to kiss him. She turned to Crais and took a deep sigh, "I am ready."
Crais nodded and walked out of the Galley.
Before he left Crichton called him back, "Yo, Crais!"
Crais hoped that while he was on board Crichton would stop addressing him like that, he had always disliked that. He turned around and asked warily, "Yes, Crichton?"
"When you come back I hope you will smile more often, it suits you!"
"Aeryn's" face was infused with red and Crais stared in disbelief at Crichton.
'Crais' smiled as warmly as a sun when she heard this; after a moment, she didn't even try to disguise her delight.
Her first instinct was to come back with a clever retort, but she quickly thought better of it. They had all been through enough for one day, and she didn't want to 'rock the ship', as John would say, now. She merely said, "Perhaps, if we give him reason to, he will."
Crais tried to disguise his discomfort at being complimented by Crichton by quickly exiting the galley. This body betrayed too much of his feelings.
.
Part 46
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He slowed his pace when he heard Aeryn come up behind him. He could feel his heavy hand on his shoulder when Aeryn caught up with him, until now he hadn't realised how warm his hands were, "It's all right Crais. He is right you know, your face changes dramatically when you smile. You have a very warm smile."
"Aeryn" cleared his throat, "Well, I... uhm... just have to get used to it."
"You will," she said with a smile and Crais had to agree that it did look good.
They entered his quarters and "Aeryn" took of the short tunic, while "Crais" shrugged out of the heavier one. Aeryn looked over at Crais, "Wouldn't something lighter be more comfortable Crais?"
"I didn't have time to..."
"Crais! It has been cycles now. Surely..." When she saw his resigned face she said, "Sorry, didn't want to interfere."
He nodded and went over to the bed, courtesy made him turn around to Aeryn, "Which side of the bed do you prefer?"
Aeryn smiled. "The side opposite from you, Bialar."
Her voice softened and thickened at the same time. "As long as I'm next to you, it'll be alright."
She glanced away, her face suddenly a bit flushed, then her eyes met his squarely.
Bialar hoped that Crichton understood what a treasure he had found.
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John Crichton sat down on the sleeping surface in his own chamber. He didn't much feel like sleeping. He was a brave man, but he wasn't sure he was quite this brave.
Of course, he had committed himself, and he would not shame everybody involved by acting like an immature jerk again. (He could just hear Aeryn's voice saying "like a drannit".)
He would worry the whole night cycle through, though. He would worry about Aeryn, he would worry about Crais. He would worry about Aeryn and Crais. Hw would worry about what he would find in the morning, and what they would do about it if the Priest of Lachmon had lied. How would they find him? More importantly, how could they compel him to reverse what he had done? What if it weren't reversible?
He loved Aeryn more than life itself. He also knew that she loved him. What he wasn't so sure of was just exactly what her feelings for her former Captain, her fellow Sebacean, were. And he was much less sure of what Crais felt for her, and what he would ever do about it. Even if this were the "good" Crais...
He sat on the edge of the bed, and ran through the last five years of his life, over and over. He wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway.
He was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice the little drd he had named "1812" skitter up to his feet and park itself there, patiently watching over him and keeping him company.
In another chamber, Chi and D'Argo lay comfortably in each other's arms, sated and happy.
"So how do you think this is going to work out?"
"We'll have to wait and see. We'll know more in the morning. No matter what we find, there are going to be some interesting times around here."
"Our Bialar Crais is not the Captain Crais who was my jailor five long years ago, or the madman who chased us all over this arm of the galaxy. I don't even think he's the Crais who blew up his own Command Carrier to keep wormhole tech out of the hands of the Peacekeepers.
"Which Bialar Crais he is, we'll just have to see."
The Luxan smiled at his lover.
"But I think we have the best of the bargain."
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Part 47
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In Crais' quarters the subjects of everyone's thoughts lay stretched out next to each other. As Crais had predicted, sleep didn't come immediately. As a matter of fact, it seemed as if sleep were eluding them completely.
Crais lay flat on his back, his mind running and he still found it strange how "his" body didn't flatten on the bed as he was used to. He looked at the different colours on Moya's ceiling, tracing the patterns, trying to will himself to sleep.
"Crais, you asleep yet," Aeryn asked him quietly.
He sighed, "No, not yet. Can't seem to go to sleep."
"Neither can I. It almost feels like the night before battle. Too tired to go to sleep but too excited to do so," there was a wistful note in her voice.
Crais smiled, "I understand. It is what keeps me awake too."
There was silence for a moment.
"Crais, what would happen if we don't... wake up in our own bodies?"
"We just have to adjust, Aeryn. For now, don't loose hope."
Silence.
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"I really appreciated being in your body, Crais, even if it was just only for a short time. It made me realise certain things and I hope I can keep them up once I'm back in my own body again."
Crais looked sideways at Aeryn and was struck how relaxed his face looked. He had not been aware that the lines of his own face were very strong and his nose (he smiled at himself) so prominent. Aeryn's mind gave his own face a certain softness, he would like to keep that once he was "back". "What did you realise, Aeryn," he asked softly.
"You made me realise that I am stronger than I perceived myself. Not only physically but mentally as well. When you took my body through the Vahni-Panthak... I was never confident enough that my body was able to go through the moves, you showed that it is and that it was only my own mindset that was holding it back."
She turned to face him and saw her own face observing her. There was such a calm in the features, she smiled and continued, "For the first time in a long time, I have been able to think clearly, rationally. I don't think it is really your body that is doing that to me. I think that being IN your body just gave me the... (she was looking for the right words) incentive to be calm. Part of me didn't want to change the "you" and made me calm down, settle my mind. It had been the calm I have been looking for, for such a long time."
"You did a wonderful job, Aeryn," he smiled at her. Then looked back to the ceiling again, contemplating.
"The experience in YOUR body was... a revelation for me too. As Crais, in my own body, I have always shown strength, no weakness. It is who I am. It is what people expect of me. The man who is always in charge," he grinned, "Except when I chased you all, I was mad with grief then. I'm sorry."
He continued, "Your body was different. Not that it weakened me, don't get me wrong but it was more... emotional... than mine. In the beginning I found it difficult to work with, it was so... strange... to feel myself react to matters I would normally not react to. I found peace in accepting that. It made me reveal parts of me, which I kept even hidden from myself. It made me realise that my suppression was harming Talyn. It made me realise that I do have a need for company, for friends."
"You don't have to be lonely, Crais. You know that there is a place for you here, among friends," she said it without hesitation and he was glad to hear that. "It will take some adjusting to fit in, not only from you but from all of us. We take ourselves for granted and you showed that there is more to us. Chiana, for starters, is happy to be appreciated. Ka D'Argo finally realises that when the men look at Chiana they don't always see her as a potential recreational partner. Rygel... well, he's Rygel, he won't change. Even John is coming around."
"I too have to admit that I will have to review my thinking about you all. It has been a pleasant surprise. I had not expected any of you to be so... considerate. I will do my best to adjust," he then remembered that she had left herself out of the equation. Was that deliberate?
She looked back at him, could almost see the unspoken question, "I have come to appreciate you more, Crais. I had always thought that I felt a certain... attraction to you."
He looked quickly at her, his face registered surprise, "And you don't feel that anymore?"
She smiled, "I think I do. But not in a physical manner."
His face briefly showed a regret, she place a hand on his cheek, gently, too brief, "If I did not have John I might consider you a mate, you are very attractive (he blushed) but I do love John. I think I was always attracted to the you inside you, if that makes any sense. The calm, the strength. Maybe that's why I went for this strange experience. Are you mad with me?"
"No, Aeryn, I am not mad with you. I regret that we never had the chance to be more for each other but seeing how you interact with Crichton, I am happy for you," he chuckled deeply, "Strange to admit that now. I hope he appreciates your love."
"Oh, he does."
"I do hope so or else I have to break his neck."
She looked at him stunned but giggled when she saw the smile on his face, "You do have humour."
"Don't tell Crichton that, it's a surprise."
"I won't."
The silence was comfortable.
"Let us try to go to sleep," said Crais and Aeryn agreed. They looked at the ceiling and traced the lines.
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Part 48
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After what was beginning to seem like forever, Crais turned over onto his side, facing away from Aeryn, and curling up a bit. Shortly after that, he heard a sigh from her. Moments later, he became intimately aware of her ('his') arm circling around his middle, as she snuggled closer to him, spooning him.
As they lay together, he found himself filled with a sense of companionship, security, and peace. He drifted off to a strangely deep and restful sleep.
Had he remained awake, he might have realized that the same was happening to Aeryn.
They slept like this until 'morning'.
There was no daylight, no rising of a sun, to revive them.
They were both used to waking up at the end of a standard cycle of sleep. For Crais, that was admittedly a much shorter period--a cycle of perhaps 3-4 arns, rather than the usual 6-8. It was still standard for him.
Gradually, they each became aware that they were once again awake. Crais had regained some semblance of awareness first, but had lain comfortably, listening to the endless symphony of noises the Leviathan produced and idly comparing them to the ones he was used to hearing onboard Talyn.
He had found that he was snuggled against his once upon a time prowler pilot, with an arm lightly and casually draped around her. He had been content to leave it there, enjoying the rare closeness, the sense of peace suffusing him.
At length, he realized that the woman he held so lightly and gently was also wakening.
He waited a few moments, allowing her a chance to gain her own bearings. "Well, Officer Sun, good morning", he softly rumbled.
He (just a bit reluctantly, but graciously) removed his arm from around her sleek torso.
She turned around to face him.
"Bialar..."
She reached over to softly caress his cheek, then let her hand travel down the length of his neck and back, stopping just above his waist.
She lingered for just a moment.
"Good morning to you."
She smiled lazily at him. After a moment, she seemed to realize their position, and she slowly retracted her arm.
Crais found himself admiring the most beautiful prowler pilot he had ever seen, the radiant Aeryn Sun.
"Aeryn..."
"Yes, Bialar?"
"Just checking", as he reclined once more on the bed, a smile softening his features.
He felt as though just maybe he wouldn't ever be quite so alone again.
THE END