Jiriaya seemed to be in a bit of a Christmas mood when she finally arrived
to his hotel room. There was plenty of sake on the table. Jiriaya backed
away from the door, letting her in.
"Ah, Yanagi-san" he greeted her cheerfully. "It's.strange to see you here. we weren't up for another date 'till tommorow.Want some Sake?"
Yanagi's eyes went dark for a moment.
"Christmas time soon, ne?" she chuckled "Well yer gonna love yer present."
Jiriaya's eyes lit up.
"Really? What did you get me, Yanagi?"
It took Yanagi all the will power she had to unclench her fist and let the little plastic tube slide out of her hand. They both watched it roll to a complete stop on the glass table.
"This."
Jiriaya uttered a sigh, heavy with disappointment. He was really hoping it would be something sexy she could wear.or maybe it would be something else.
"Uhm..Only girls can use that."
Yanagi folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.
"Do you know what it is?"
Jiriaya looked at it closer.
"Of course. It's an H.T.P. But only girls can use it. Unless it's some kind of a new fetish of yours, which in that case I don't think I feel comfortable with this anymore."
Yanagi's eyebrow twitched.
"Look at it, Jiriaya sama! It ain't a damn fetish. I took it."
He stared with a dumbfounded look in his eyes at the piece of plastic. It felt as if someone just hit him over the head with a really heavy rock.
"Uh..uhm..well.You really don't need to take one of these things unless you think you're pregnant and I don't.." he paused. "Oh.shit.."
She stared at him in silence. The weigh of her stare became heavier and heavier with every moment.
"Y.you aren't joking..are you?"
"NO. I ain't jokin'. What? You find this funny? I dun! I took it this mornin'! What kind of a sick bastard would joke like this?"
He raised his eyes at her and their gazes met.
".You're. pregnant?"
She nodded.
"Are you sure it's mine?"
"YES!!" Yanagi screamed as her eyes turned from green to red "I AM POSITIVE!! How DARE you ask me that??? It can't be anyone else's. Yer my first encounter in two years."
"I'm going to be a .father?" His voice shook.
Yanagi shot him a half sarcastic glare.
"Yah." She answered in a grim tone of voice.
"Ah. Ok."
Jiriaya answered and started falling back. For a split second, Yanagi looked completely lost. But even in domestic situations, Yanagi was still a first class Jounin. She caught him by the collar of his shirt and began shaking him.
"Nosensei.hereallyisevil" Jiriaya mumbled, as if asleep. Yanagi shook him harder. When that didn't work, she slapped him across the face in hopes to wake him up. Jiriaya's non-responsiveness began to really piss her off.
"God damn it, wake up wouldya? Some damn Sennin you are."
She raised her hand to hit him again when he suddenly opened his eyes.
"Ow.Oh.Hey Yanagi.You know I had this crazy dream where you said you were pregnant and I..oh..shit.."
She let go of his shirt.
"Would you STOP actin' like a damn baby? This ain't the time to be cute!"
Jiriaya's began to panic. His eyes became unfocused as he looked all around the room without looking for anything in particular.
"Ok..ok..don't panic.. don't panic.I.Great Jiriaya.Crap..Yanagi..are you going to keep it?"
She closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck in a nervous gesture. Jiriaya waited for an answer.
"Ugh.. I dunno. I'm not exactly good with children.. Or teenagers.. Or.. . I can barely keep myself from killin' those damn Kage brats.. and they're hardly children.."
"So.. does that mean you aren't going to keep it?"
She shot him a death glare.
"I dunno.. why? You're hopin' I ain't gonna keep it, aren't ya?"
Jiriaya backed up.
"No..I mean..that's.. " He sighed. " I like kids, Yanagi. I loved them back when I was a Sensei. I was also younger back than.. I'm .. I'm not cut out to be a dad.. but it doesn't matter because I'll have to support you in whatever choice you're going to make on this matter.. I.. I mean.. it's not like I have a choice.. " Jiriaya mumbled something else about other Sennins mocking him but all of that fell short of Yanagi's hearing. The beautiful Sand Jounin sighed with slight aggravation.
"Ya know ya aren't helpin'? Haven't ya been in this situation before? I ain't no naïve girl ya know."
He shook his head.
"This is going to sound really bad but uhm.. I never stuck around long enough to see the end results of my.. uhm.. activities.. "
She scowled at him.
"Ya know for a Sennin you're so damn irresponsible, Jiriaya-sama. For all ya know there could be kids runnin' around that are yours."
"That isn't my fault!! And I use protection.. Mostly!!"
"Well protection OBVIOUSLY broke!!" She mocked him.
He fell into the chair, right next to hers.
"I don't know.. " Jiriaya's heartbeat began coming back to normal "Given my age.. and that I never met any of them.. Well.. I thought I wasn't capable of having them."
Yanagi snorted.
"Well that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard an' it's comin' from a Sennin."
He was about to make a snarky remark but she interrupted him.
"Ugh.. You ain't fit to be a father.. and I.. I ain't fit to be a mother.. But.. I can't kill it." She rubbed her forehead in a nervous gesture that brought a faint smile to Jiriaya's lips.
"Well.. maybe there's someone who'd take it.."
Yanagi shrugged her shoulders.
"Well if there is, they need to be from another village 'cus.. "
"Why? A child of a genius and a Sennin.. that must count for something.. I'm sure that any.."
"That ain't the reason!"
She interrupted him angrily.
"It's just.. You don't live in your village right? So it won't matter if the kid grows up there.. But here.. It'll be hard to pass by a boy or a girl, everyday, that looks exactly like me and pretend I dunno who they are.."
Jiriaya rubbed the back of his head.
"Well.maybe.maybe I'll see if there's anyone in the leaf that'd be willing to."
"What about that old teammate of yers.. ya know.. what's her name.. Tsu.. Tsunami?"
"Tsunade???" Jiriaya panicked "NO! She'd kill me. She'd never let me live it down. She'd probably say "no" just to spite me!!"
Yanagi raised an eyebrow.
"She'd kill ya? Cuz yah had a kid? That's hardly a reason to kill.. anyone."
"Well she would! She'd say 'Oh great Jiraiya! You always were a pervert with an irrepressible dick! And now it's paid off! Well I hope you're happy!" ..and then she'd kill me so that the kid didn't have to live with the shame of knowing who its father was!!"
She smiled softly. It was the most unusual to see her smile like that.
"I didn't think you were that bad" she answered.
"Yeh. Well. Uhm.. " Jiriaya hung his head. "I'm sorry Yanagi. This is very different from the choices I end up usually making.. I really don't know what to do."
She sighed and got up.
"Yes. Well. Neither do I. Even though you were my first.."
"WHAT??? YOUR FIRST??? But you said.. YOU SAID!!!.. Oh dear GOD!!!!!" The last three words he whispered as he began slowly falling down. Yanagi responded quickly and caught fainting Jiriaya once more.
"Kuso!!" She cursed under her breath as she shook him "I meant to say you were my FIRST encounter in the past two years.. I didn't mean yer my first guy.. Sheesh.. I'm really not THAT pathetic."
"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?" Jiriaya opened one of his eyes.
She let go.
"Nothin'. Why does it matter anyway?"
"It's not THAT bad than.."
"Not THAT bad?"
Jiriaya cautiously watched her, as Yanagi's eyes flickered.
"What are ya babblin' 'bout? Dun tell me that if yer a girl's first yer hafta propose to.. uhg.. marry 'er? Is that how things are done in Konohagakure?"
"Hell no! If I was your first in Konoha I'd run like hell."
She nursed her lower lip.
"Why?"
"Lots of reasons. Clinging girls.. enraged parents."
Yanagi rubbed her forehead again. All this did was make her even angrier and even more lost in the current situation. She couldn't understand why this had to happen. Of course she couldn't completely blame Jiriaya for what has happened. It was her own decision to get off the pill about a year ago. The last "encounter" with the male half was so incredibly lousy and so unsatisfying that after pummeling her partner into the dirt she decided it would be better if she swore off having sex with men. She didn't become a lesbian. She just didn't want to have sex. Not anymore. And, the pill she was on was giving her mood swings. Yanagi looked at pale Jiriaya and decided against volunteering that information to him.
"Is it a boy.. or a girl?" He suddenly asked.
"What?"
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
She shrugged.
"I dunno. I haven't been to the doctors."
"Well you should know be.. .. wait.. .. you haven't been to the doctors?"
Yanagi rolled her eyes, annoyed.
"No. An' I ain't goin'."
"Yanagi.. You have to. Please. You have to make sure that it's ok. For better or for worse this is MY child.. and I want it to be ok. You have to go. Just maybe to make sure that it doesn't have five heads or isn't part sand.you know.. You can think about what you want to do with it later. You have nine months."
"Five heads? What kind of a monster are ya takin' me for??" She growled angrily. "I ain't goin' to a doctor. I ain't gonna be taken off the anbu duty 'cus of this stupid mishap."
Jiriaya frowned.
"This might be a mishap.. " he paused. "But it isn't stupid.. " He added quietly. "And you're going to be taken off your duty anyway when your stomach gets big enough."
Yanagi rose to her feet with a jerk.
"Well it ain't yet." She stated. "And until than.. Ugh.. I'm goin' for a walk."
"Wait.. "
She stopped with her hand on the door handle.
"What?" Her eyes shot him a hard glare.
Jiriaya quietly nursed his lip.
".. Nothing.."
She scowled.
"Ya were gonna say somethin', so spit it out!"
He sighed once more.
"If it's a boy.. can I name him after one of my students?"
"Your.. student?" Yanagi's eyes thawed. She let go of the door handle and turned completely around.
"Yeh. Yondaime. The one who died saving the village from the demon fox."
She thought for a moment.
"S.. Sure.. What was his name?"
"He didn't have the best name in the world.." He chuckled. The chuckle came off bittersweet. " So I was thinking maybe.. Yon or something."
"Yon?" Yanagi sounded surprised. "Well he'll get teased a lot."
"Maybe not.. not Yon.. but.. if it's a girl maybe Yonko or if it's a boy.. Yonzuka or something."
"Sure." She sighed. "I ain't gonna be around to raise him, I sure ain't gonna pick his name."
"You know.. Yanagi.."
"mmm?"
Jiriaya's lips spread in a grin.
"Pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester."
Yanagi's eyebrows flew up. But she was surprised enough as to where she didn't know how to react. Pummel him to death or simply laugh.
"I'll.. .. keep that in mind.. " She mumbled as she exited his hotel room.
"Ah, Yanagi-san" he greeted her cheerfully. "It's.strange to see you here. we weren't up for another date 'till tommorow.Want some Sake?"
Yanagi's eyes went dark for a moment.
"Christmas time soon, ne?" she chuckled "Well yer gonna love yer present."
Jiriaya's eyes lit up.
"Really? What did you get me, Yanagi?"
It took Yanagi all the will power she had to unclench her fist and let the little plastic tube slide out of her hand. They both watched it roll to a complete stop on the glass table.
"This."
Jiriaya uttered a sigh, heavy with disappointment. He was really hoping it would be something sexy she could wear.or maybe it would be something else.
"Uhm..Only girls can use that."
Yanagi folded her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.
"Do you know what it is?"
Jiriaya looked at it closer.
"Of course. It's an H.T.P. But only girls can use it. Unless it's some kind of a new fetish of yours, which in that case I don't think I feel comfortable with this anymore."
Yanagi's eyebrow twitched.
"Look at it, Jiriaya sama! It ain't a damn fetish. I took it."
He stared with a dumbfounded look in his eyes at the piece of plastic. It felt as if someone just hit him over the head with a really heavy rock.
"Uh..uhm..well.You really don't need to take one of these things unless you think you're pregnant and I don't.." he paused. "Oh.shit.."
She stared at him in silence. The weigh of her stare became heavier and heavier with every moment.
"Y.you aren't joking..are you?"
"NO. I ain't jokin'. What? You find this funny? I dun! I took it this mornin'! What kind of a sick bastard would joke like this?"
He raised his eyes at her and their gazes met.
".You're. pregnant?"
She nodded.
"Are you sure it's mine?"
"YES!!" Yanagi screamed as her eyes turned from green to red "I AM POSITIVE!! How DARE you ask me that??? It can't be anyone else's. Yer my first encounter in two years."
"I'm going to be a .father?" His voice shook.
Yanagi shot him a half sarcastic glare.
"Yah." She answered in a grim tone of voice.
"Ah. Ok."
Jiriaya answered and started falling back. For a split second, Yanagi looked completely lost. But even in domestic situations, Yanagi was still a first class Jounin. She caught him by the collar of his shirt and began shaking him.
"Nosensei.hereallyisevil" Jiriaya mumbled, as if asleep. Yanagi shook him harder. When that didn't work, she slapped him across the face in hopes to wake him up. Jiriaya's non-responsiveness began to really piss her off.
"God damn it, wake up wouldya? Some damn Sennin you are."
She raised her hand to hit him again when he suddenly opened his eyes.
"Ow.Oh.Hey Yanagi.You know I had this crazy dream where you said you were pregnant and I..oh..shit.."
She let go of his shirt.
"Would you STOP actin' like a damn baby? This ain't the time to be cute!"
Jiriaya's began to panic. His eyes became unfocused as he looked all around the room without looking for anything in particular.
"Ok..ok..don't panic.. don't panic.I.Great Jiriaya.Crap..Yanagi..are you going to keep it?"
She closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck in a nervous gesture. Jiriaya waited for an answer.
"Ugh.. I dunno. I'm not exactly good with children.. Or teenagers.. Or.. . I can barely keep myself from killin' those damn Kage brats.. and they're hardly children.."
"So.. does that mean you aren't going to keep it?"
She shot him a death glare.
"I dunno.. why? You're hopin' I ain't gonna keep it, aren't ya?"
Jiriaya backed up.
"No..I mean..that's.. " He sighed. " I like kids, Yanagi. I loved them back when I was a Sensei. I was also younger back than.. I'm .. I'm not cut out to be a dad.. but it doesn't matter because I'll have to support you in whatever choice you're going to make on this matter.. I.. I mean.. it's not like I have a choice.. " Jiriaya mumbled something else about other Sennins mocking him but all of that fell short of Yanagi's hearing. The beautiful Sand Jounin sighed with slight aggravation.
"Ya know ya aren't helpin'? Haven't ya been in this situation before? I ain't no naïve girl ya know."
He shook his head.
"This is going to sound really bad but uhm.. I never stuck around long enough to see the end results of my.. uhm.. activities.. "
She scowled at him.
"Ya know for a Sennin you're so damn irresponsible, Jiriaya-sama. For all ya know there could be kids runnin' around that are yours."
"That isn't my fault!! And I use protection.. Mostly!!"
"Well protection OBVIOUSLY broke!!" She mocked him.
He fell into the chair, right next to hers.
"I don't know.. " Jiriaya's heartbeat began coming back to normal "Given my age.. and that I never met any of them.. Well.. I thought I wasn't capable of having them."
Yanagi snorted.
"Well that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard an' it's comin' from a Sennin."
He was about to make a snarky remark but she interrupted him.
"Ugh.. You ain't fit to be a father.. and I.. I ain't fit to be a mother.. But.. I can't kill it." She rubbed her forehead in a nervous gesture that brought a faint smile to Jiriaya's lips.
"Well.. maybe there's someone who'd take it.."
Yanagi shrugged her shoulders.
"Well if there is, they need to be from another village 'cus.. "
"Why? A child of a genius and a Sennin.. that must count for something.. I'm sure that any.."
"That ain't the reason!"
She interrupted him angrily.
"It's just.. You don't live in your village right? So it won't matter if the kid grows up there.. But here.. It'll be hard to pass by a boy or a girl, everyday, that looks exactly like me and pretend I dunno who they are.."
Jiriaya rubbed the back of his head.
"Well.maybe.maybe I'll see if there's anyone in the leaf that'd be willing to."
"What about that old teammate of yers.. ya know.. what's her name.. Tsu.. Tsunami?"
"Tsunade???" Jiriaya panicked "NO! She'd kill me. She'd never let me live it down. She'd probably say "no" just to spite me!!"
Yanagi raised an eyebrow.
"She'd kill ya? Cuz yah had a kid? That's hardly a reason to kill.. anyone."
"Well she would! She'd say 'Oh great Jiraiya! You always were a pervert with an irrepressible dick! And now it's paid off! Well I hope you're happy!" ..and then she'd kill me so that the kid didn't have to live with the shame of knowing who its father was!!"
She smiled softly. It was the most unusual to see her smile like that.
"I didn't think you were that bad" she answered.
"Yeh. Well. Uhm.. " Jiriaya hung his head. "I'm sorry Yanagi. This is very different from the choices I end up usually making.. I really don't know what to do."
She sighed and got up.
"Yes. Well. Neither do I. Even though you were my first.."
"WHAT??? YOUR FIRST??? But you said.. YOU SAID!!!.. Oh dear GOD!!!!!" The last three words he whispered as he began slowly falling down. Yanagi responded quickly and caught fainting Jiriaya once more.
"Kuso!!" She cursed under her breath as she shook him "I meant to say you were my FIRST encounter in the past two years.. I didn't mean yer my first guy.. Sheesh.. I'm really not THAT pathetic."
"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?" Jiriaya opened one of his eyes.
She let go.
"Nothin'. Why does it matter anyway?"
"It's not THAT bad than.."
"Not THAT bad?"
Jiriaya cautiously watched her, as Yanagi's eyes flickered.
"What are ya babblin' 'bout? Dun tell me that if yer a girl's first yer hafta propose to.. uhg.. marry 'er? Is that how things are done in Konohagakure?"
"Hell no! If I was your first in Konoha I'd run like hell."
She nursed her lower lip.
"Why?"
"Lots of reasons. Clinging girls.. enraged parents."
Yanagi rubbed her forehead again. All this did was make her even angrier and even more lost in the current situation. She couldn't understand why this had to happen. Of course she couldn't completely blame Jiriaya for what has happened. It was her own decision to get off the pill about a year ago. The last "encounter" with the male half was so incredibly lousy and so unsatisfying that after pummeling her partner into the dirt she decided it would be better if she swore off having sex with men. She didn't become a lesbian. She just didn't want to have sex. Not anymore. And, the pill she was on was giving her mood swings. Yanagi looked at pale Jiriaya and decided against volunteering that information to him.
"Is it a boy.. or a girl?" He suddenly asked.
"What?"
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
She shrugged.
"I dunno. I haven't been to the doctors."
"Well you should know be.. .. wait.. .. you haven't been to the doctors?"
Yanagi rolled her eyes, annoyed.
"No. An' I ain't goin'."
"Yanagi.. You have to. Please. You have to make sure that it's ok. For better or for worse this is MY child.. and I want it to be ok. You have to go. Just maybe to make sure that it doesn't have five heads or isn't part sand.you know.. You can think about what you want to do with it later. You have nine months."
"Five heads? What kind of a monster are ya takin' me for??" She growled angrily. "I ain't goin' to a doctor. I ain't gonna be taken off the anbu duty 'cus of this stupid mishap."
Jiriaya frowned.
"This might be a mishap.. " he paused. "But it isn't stupid.. " He added quietly. "And you're going to be taken off your duty anyway when your stomach gets big enough."
Yanagi rose to her feet with a jerk.
"Well it ain't yet." She stated. "And until than.. Ugh.. I'm goin' for a walk."
"Wait.. "
She stopped with her hand on the door handle.
"What?" Her eyes shot him a hard glare.
Jiriaya quietly nursed his lip.
".. Nothing.."
She scowled.
"Ya were gonna say somethin', so spit it out!"
He sighed once more.
"If it's a boy.. can I name him after one of my students?"
"Your.. student?" Yanagi's eyes thawed. She let go of the door handle and turned completely around.
"Yeh. Yondaime. The one who died saving the village from the demon fox."
She thought for a moment.
"S.. Sure.. What was his name?"
"He didn't have the best name in the world.." He chuckled. The chuckle came off bittersweet. " So I was thinking maybe.. Yon or something."
"Yon?" Yanagi sounded surprised. "Well he'll get teased a lot."
"Maybe not.. not Yon.. but.. if it's a girl maybe Yonko or if it's a boy.. Yonzuka or something."
"Sure." She sighed. "I ain't gonna be around to raise him, I sure ain't gonna pick his name."
"You know.. Yanagi.."
"mmm?"
Jiriaya's lips spread in a grin.
"Pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester."
Yanagi's eyebrows flew up. But she was surprised enough as to where she didn't know how to react. Pummel him to death or simply laugh.
"I'll.. .. keep that in mind.. " She mumbled as she exited his hotel room.