COMPROMISING POSITIONS
AUTHOR: Nessie
EMAIL: methchick12@yahoo.com
RATING: PG-13
GENRE: Very much attempted humour
PAIRING: Harm/Mac
DISCLAIMER: Don't own JAG, or Mac, Harm or any of the other characters portrayed in this piece... If I did do u think that I would be writing FF?? :) JAG and all its characters belong to Belisarius Productions, Paramount, and CBS.
SUMMARY: Harm and Mac get stuck in an unexpected place.
AUTHORS COMMENTS: Feedback whether good, bad or ugly will be appreciated. Please review! Thanks!
* * * * *
Harm and Mac were standing in the deserted bullpen on Sunday night waiting for people to arrive for the meeting the Admiral had scheduled for 1730 that night.
"It's 1733 and 29 seconds, where the hell is everyone?" Mac whined.
"Maybe stick in traffic?" came the reply from Harm.
"Traffic? What traffic?" Mac snorted.
"Now that you mention it there weren't many cars on the road on the way here," Harm clicked.
"Well, well, aren't we quick on the uptake today?"
"It's not like I pay attention to how many cars are on the road, Mac!"
"So you don't notice other cars? It's a wonder you haven't been killed yet. That, combined with the way you drive is a deadly combination," Mac smirked.
Harm feigned hurt. "Are you insulting my driving?"
"Well, let me just say if your driving was like your flying skills, I'd be getting off the road!" Mac laughed.
Harm's hand flew to his heart, dramatically he said with a straight face, "You wound me, Marine."
Slowly the corners of his mouth tugged upward morphing into a smile then a full-fledged patented flyboy grin.
"Yeah, yeah. It, uh, also might have something to do with that white fluffy stuff falling from the sky," Mac remarked sarcastically.
"Oh, you mean the stuff that's a foot deep? Wow I would never have noticed if you hadn't pointed that out. Thanks."
"No problem," Mac replied lightly. "Okay it's 1801 where is everyone? Did we miss a memo or something?"
"I don't think so," frowning slightly, he got up and walked to his office. His sharp gaze caught sight of JAG stationary posted to his doorway.
At the same time Mac's phone beeped. She rooted around in her purse to find it.
Harm pulled the paper off his door, and unfolded it.
Harm and Mac read the messages at the same time.
Groaning filled the office.
"Well, it was nice of them to tell us," Mac commented sarcastically.
"Well, actually they did tell us, we just didn't get the message until now," Harm replied smartly.
"A fat lot of use that is. I'm here with you, when I could be at home with a good book."
"Yeah well its looks like you're going to be stuck with me a bit longer now. This snow's not stopping for no one. It's already another half a foot deeper than it was an hour ago," Harm sulkily replied.
"What?" Mac exploded. "Oh, why do things like this always happen to me?" Mac moaned as she sat down, and closed her eyes.
"Don't fear, Mac," this made her open her eyes. "I'm sure we can find something to do to pass the time." He winked and leered at her suggestively.
"Did you just wink at me?" Mac asked with a trademark raised eyebrow.
"So what if I did?" he retorted.
"Well, if you did it would suggest something improper," Mac reasoned.
"Okay, okay enough! I was just trying to make light of the conversation. Jeez."
He picked up a remote for the television monitors and switched it on.
The image of a blonde filled the screen, her voice boomed through the silent bullpen.
"The area of Washington, DC has been hit by what the weather experts are calling the worst storm since 19--"
The monitor went black. Harm and Mac looked at each other.
"Uh oh."
"Now that is the understatement of the century, Harm."
The lights went out. Everything went dark.
"Uh oh."
"You've said that already."
"Well, it felt right to say it again."
"Okay, enough! Let's go look for the generator. It'll be in the basement, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I don't generally go looking for the generator, but hey!"
"Lets go, Flyboy," Mac began to walk then paused, and Harm ran straight into her, nearly bowling her over, only his hands that grabbed her steadied them.
"Hey!" he cried indignantly. "What did you stop for?"
"Do you have a torch, by chance, Harm?" she paused, then continued, "and can you please remove your hand before I break it? That's not my shoulder."
Harm imagined her glaring at him through the darkness, and so hastily moved his hand.
"Oops. Sorry," he said sheepishly.
He then opened his briefcase, searched around in it for a bit, then triumphantly he pulled out a torch and proceeded to blind Mac by shining it in her eyes.
"Ouch! Do you want to watch where you wave that thing, Harm? Now I can't see."
Once again, the sheepish Harm said "Sorry, Mac. I didn't realise you were there."
"Yeah, sure sure. Lets get going. You in front so I can follow you."
They then proceeded to the basement, found the generator, but couldn't get it to switch on.
"Great. Now what are we supposed to do?"
"I guess we should head back upstairs, and try to find something to pass the time."
He leered at her again. Mac rolled her eyes, and walked past him. As she passed him, her hand reached out and smacked him up-side the head.
"Get your head out of the gutter, Flyboy."
"Ouch, Mac, that hurt!" Harm whined.
Mac ignored him, continued up the stairs and back to the JAG offices.
* * * * *
"Now what are we supposed to do?" Harm complained.
"Well, I don't know what you're going to do, but I'm going to go into my office and finish off some paper work."
Mac grabbed the torch out of his hand, and went to her office.
Harm being Harm, began to search through the drawers of desks, looking for a torch. Soon he found one in a young ensign's desk, but kept looking through the desks to find something to do.
Twenty minutes later, he stopped short when searching through Harriett's desk. He found bundles of old notes in her bottom drawer.
Curious, he sat down, and began to read them. His curiosity slowly turned to amusement, as they began to make sense.
He always wondered if they did this type of thing, but now he knew.
"Mac," he called. "Come here. I've got something to show you."
"Just a minute," Mac answered.
After heaving a sigh, she stood up and made her way to Harm. "What are you doing at Harriett's desk?"
"Shhh. Listen to this," he cleared his throat and began in a melodramatic voice.
" 'Dearest Harriett, You are the love of my life, my beacon in the dark, my fire in the cold'--" Harm stopped abruptly as Mac snatched the bundle of notes off him.
"I don't think we should be reading this, Harm," Mac said sensibly, obviously not wanting to violate Bud and Harriett's privacy, although it was blatantly obvious that Harm had already done so.
Harm smirked, "Well, if you don't think we should be reading that one, have a read of the one underneath."
Mac began reading the next note aloud, " 'Oh baby, I want to see you in that red teddy again, You looked so sex'--" Mac trailed off as she realised what she was reading.
Her surprised eyes flicked to Harm's amused ones.
Hurriedly, she bundled the notes back up and shoved them into his hands.
"Quick! Put them back where you found them!" she exclaimed, unconsciously looking around to see if anyone had seen them.
"You embarrassed, Marine?" Harm chuckled.
A pretty flush spread over her face.
"Come on, Harm. You shouldn't be searching through other peoples desks."
For once Harm did as he was told, and put the letters back where he found them.
* * * * *
Several hours had passed since reading the letters. Harm and Mac sat in her office, both with files open, Harm's in his lap, and Mac's on her desk.
Mac flipped her folder shut, stood up, and stretched. Harm watched her out of the corner of his eye. Watching her body move under her uniform. 'Don't go there,' he thought to himself.
"Come on, Flyboy. It's getting late. Lets go find somewhere to sleep," Mac yawned, rubbing her hands warily over her face.
Harm shut his file, then threw it haphazardly onto her desk, then rolled his shoulders slightly.
"What time is it?"
"It's 2235," Mac replied.
"Okay, the only place that I can think of that would be comfortable is the Admiral's couch, but there's only enough room for one of us."
"I'll flip you for it. Heads you sleep on it, tails I do." Mac dug around in her pocket and came up with a coin. She flipped it, both followed it with their eyes as it flew through the air, and landed on the floor between them, where it started rolling.
Almost like in slow motion, they both bent down to inspect the result, their heads banging together.
"Ouch!" and "Itai!" were both simultaneously squawked.
Harm grabbed his head, and then looked at her in bemusement as her exclamation registered on his mind.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"Oh man, did I start speaking in another language again?" Mac queried.
When Harm nodded slowly at her, she shook her head.
"Don't worry. It means 'ouch'," she explained.
When Harm was still looking at her strangely, she asked, "Are you okay, Harm?"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Are you okay?"
"I'd be better if you'd stop banging into me."
"Who won?" Both Harm and Mac looked down at the coin. It had rolled its way to rest against a desk leg. Neither had won.
Groaning once again filled the office.
"Okay, so neither of us won. We should just pick who gets it," Harm declared.
"You have it, I can sleep in a chair," Mac decided.
"No, I'm the man," at this Mac snorted, and Harm glared at her, "You take the couch."
"No, you're taller than me, you take it," Mac declined.
"Oh, for God's sake! Just take it!" Harm practically yelled.
"No! You've got a bad back. You take it," Mac argued.
"Oh why won't you just take it?"
"I'm not a charity case, Harm! I don't want it," Mac snapped.
Harm was taken back by her hostility.
"I know you're not a charity case, Mac. I wasn't thinking of you as one. I was just trying to be gentlemanly."
"Why are you being nice to me?" Mac asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm always nice to you," Harm remarked, a dismal expression crossing his face.
Mac just looked at him weirdly, but didn't say anything.
"Look, Mac. Why can't we just share the couch? You know, conserve body heat? It's going to get mighty cold in here until either the power or the generator kicks in."
Mac snorted, "Yeah right. No. I'm going to sleep out in the bullpen. Night." She left before he could say another word.
Harm shrugged, laid down on the couch, pulled a blanket up to his chin, and quickly fell asleep.
Mac settled into a chair in the bullpen, snuggled into her jacket, and tried to sleep. Harm was right; it was starting to get cold in here. 'Oh well,' she thought, and slowly fell into a restless sleep, not able to get comfortable in her sleep.
She woke with one word on her mind. Cold. So very cold.
Her teeth were chattering, her body shaking. Her mind wasn't processing, so she tried to look at her watch, but her arm was shaking so much that she couldn't make out the time. She guessed it was around 2 am.
Almost child-like, all she needed was a blankie and a thumb in her mouth, she made her way sleepily to the Admiral's office. To Harm.
Harm lay on his back, a blanket covered him.
Mac, with shuffled feet, made her way over to him. She pulled the blanket off him. It dropped, forgotten, at the end of the couch. Harm moaned at the sudden rush of cold air on his body, but didn't wake.
Mac lay down on top of him, shifting his hands so that they were on her back.
Content, Mac snuggled closer to Harm, her head rested on his chest, and she closed her eyes.
Harm's arms tightened around her, and he sighed happily, a smile gracing his face.
Mac, instantly warmed by his embrace, smiled too, and soon fell into a deep sleep.
* * * *
The Admiral arrived early the next morning as soon as the roads had been cleared. It was a record snowfall of two feet deep.
His hawk-like eyes immediately noticed that Rabb and Mackenzie's cars were already in the car park, but unlike his, had about two foot of snow on and around them. Also they were the only cars there.
The Admiral chuckled to himself, 'They must have gotten snowed in,' he paused.
'But didn't they get my memo?' he frowned.
He made his way up to the JAG offices. He expected to see Harm and Mac in their respective offices, but when he didn't he shrugged, not overly concerned. They could be anywhere in the building.
Something that he wasn't expecting to see, however, was two of his senior officers, one of whom was his Chief of Staff, snuggled together on the couch in his office.
What surprised him the most was the vicinity of Mac's body where Harm's hands were.
To put it plainly, they were on her derriere.
'Ooh,' the Admiral thought, 'He's an inch from death, but, oh, what a way to go!'
What, even in these circumstances, made him smile, was the look on both their faces.
Both had looks of contentedness and happiness in their faces.
Taking one last look as 'friend AJ, the Admiral slipped back into 'CO mode'.
He loudly cleared his throat.
Both woke up with a start, looking into each others eyes.
Mac looked surprised while Harm looked smug.
"Get a little cold, did you, Marine," he smirked.
Neither of them noticed the Admiral, who was watching, one eyebrow raised, amused.
"Oh, shut up, Harm!" Mac spat.
Neither of them changed their positions. Surely Mac realised where his hands were, didn't she?
Harm shifted slightly, his body beginning to feel hers pressed against him.
Mac became aware of where his hands were when his grip tightened.
"Down, boy," she laughed softly, her voice still a little rough from sleep. A smile broke out on her face.
Harm smiled back at her and began to lean towards her, but a throat being cleared interrupted them.
The Admiral was surprised that they both didn't get whiplash from the speed in which they turned to look at him.
"Uh oh," Harm let slip when he saw the Admiral. Immediately he tried to stand at attention, belatedly realising that Mac was still lying on him.
The Admiral grimaced as he saw, and hear Mac fall of the couch onto her bum with a loud thump.
"Uh oh," Harm repeated, looking down helplessly at Mac.
"Ooohh," Mac moaned. "That hurt."
"Sir!" Harm exclaimed.
"By all means, Commander, help the lady up," the Admiral suggested.
"Yes, sir," Harm automatically replied. He jumped to his feet, just missing Mac, who was still lying on the floor, with closed eyes, wishing this wasn't happening.
When Harm reached a hand down to help Mac up, she swotted his hand away, and growled, "Don't you think you've done enough?" while looking menacingly.
Mac scrambled to her feet, one going to her derriere, the other swotting Harm's hand away, again, that was trying to help her. She smoothed a hand over her hair and straightened her uniform.
"Sir, I know how this must look--" Mac began but the Admiral cut her off.
"Yes, I believe you do," he replied dismissingly, "How long have you been stuck here?"
"Well, sir, we got here last night around 1730," Harm stated.
"What? Didn't you get my memo?"
"Obviously not, sir," Mac replied dryly.
"Oh, hell. I had hoped you'd get it in time. I didn't even think to ring here to make sure you did get it."
"That's quite alright, sir. I rather enjoyed our little rendezvous," Harm remarked smugly.
The Admiral looked at him sharply, replying, "I'm sure you did, Commander. But now is not the time to discuss that. Get out of here, you two, and discuss what happened between you two last night, and this morning. Report in at 0900 hours tomorrow," the Admiral ordered.
For once, Harm had the good grace to look sheepish, and Mac looked just plain embarrassed.
"Yes, sir," they both mumbled, looking down at their feet.
"That's an order! Dismissed!"
"Aye, aye, sir!" they both belted out, snapping to attention.
As they left the office, their bickering began again.
"Why did you have to look so damned smug, Harm?" Mac whined.
"Well, I only looked how any man would look after having a beautiful woman sleeping on him," he leered suggestively.
Mac just muttered something about men, ignoring him, and Harm smiled at her.
The Admiral stood, watching from his doorway with a smile on his face. 'One day. They'll get it right one day,' he thought, before shaking his head and heading back to his desk.
THE END
A/N: Please review! I would like to hear what you think! : thanks