I fell onto my bed, with hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I ripped
strands of my long blonde hair out and banged my fists onto the soft blue
covers. Memories flooded back into my head; terrible memories. Memories of
my stepfather Mark, hitting me over and over again. Memories of finding my
steady boyfriend Ethan in bed with another girl. Memories of my brother
Matt in the hospital dying. Memories of Miranda's suicide. All the painful
memories, just coming back to me, hitting me harder and harder. Kind of
like when Mark hits me, harder and harder each time. My screams were
getting louder and louder everytime a memory came back to me. I jumped off
of my bed and took a good look at myself in the mirror. I was almost
unrecognizable, my long blonde hair that any girl would die for, was no
longer perfect, my warm brown eyes that any guy would get lost in were no
longer welcoming, they looked cold and lost, my slender body looked weak
and frail. I just had to face it, my once perfect life was no more.
***
"I didn't like the way you talked to your mother at dinner time, Elizabeth," Mark growled.
"Whatever I say to my mother is my business," I shot back.
"You're going to have to realize that I'm apart of this family now, whether you like it or not," Mark shouted. And with that, he threw me to the floor and started to hit me until I went unconcious.
***
After that memory had hit me, I couldn't take it anymore, I ran out of my house and continued running until I'd reached the big oak tree Gordo and I had always used to play on when we were younger. My tears were stinging my cheeks and a horrible pounding sound was repeating itself inside of my head.
***
"How could you do this to me Ethan! We've had a great relationship for a year and a half now!" I screamed in horror.
"It's not what it looks like Lizzie!" Ethan yelled.
"It's because I wouldn't give you what you wanted!" I screamed. Ethan didn't respond, he just stood there looking down at his hands, with guilt written all over him.
"I-I-I'm sorry Lizzie!" Ethan called after me in despair.
"You've already done your damage Ethan, I can't believe you. You do this after you've found out what I've been going through at home!" I spat at him. I slammed the door to his apartment and vowed I would never go back.
***
I cried and cried until it felt like I couldn't cry anymore. I looked around the park, there was a small playground and a bridge. The bridge wasn't too high up, not high enough that there was a bunch of safety rails, but not low enough that you could reach out and touch the water with your hands. I ran over to the bridge and sat on top of it. I stared into the crystal blue water with millions of thoughts running through my mind. If I jump, I won't cause anymore problems in people's lives. If I jump, all my problems will be gone. If I jump, the world will be a better place. I got up, and stiffened, my body like a soldier's, I was just about to jump when I felt strong arms being held around my waist. I whirled around and there stood my old best friend; David Gordon.
***
"Lizzie? This is Mrs. Sanchez. I'm afraid I have some bad news,"
"What's wrong?" I screamed into the reciever. I racked my brain of ideas of what could have possibly happened to Miranda.
"She's-she's-s-s-she's...committed...s-suicide..." Mrs. Sanchez cried. I hung up the phone and screamed in agony. I can't save her now...it's too late...and it's all my fault.
***
"What are you doing Gordo!" I hissed.
"Saving you from something you'd regret," He wouldn't let go of me, I kept trying to wiggle my way out but it was no use.
"Stop it Gordo! It's none of your business what I'm going to do!" I screamed in frustration.
"Lizzie...I never thought you'd want to do the same as Miranda, and I thought you were smarter than that. Can't you see how much pain it caused us all?" Gordo inquired. The pounding noise inside my head was now like a siren.
"That was back when things were good!" I shouted, "But now, things are not good anymore...can't you see how I've suffered? The way life has treated me? My stepfather abuses me, my boyfriend cheats on me, my best friend commits suicide, my brother dies of cancer, my mom is oblivious to what I'm going through and because of our stupid fight 2 years ago I've lost my other best friend." I sobbed and was shaking uncontrollably now. Gordo wrapped his arms around me and told me over and over things were going to be okay.
"But they're not!" I yelled in distress. "There's nothing I can do to fix my problems, the damage has been done!"
"Lizzie, I want you to always remember this, things will go deeply rotten before they turn good,"
"Yeah right," I laughed sarcastically, "Things are going to go so much better. It's not like I can go back in time and fix my problems."
"You're right Lizzie, but you can still have hope. Hope is all you need," Gordo told me.
"Why are you trying to help me anyways? You said you hated me," I cried.
"Come on Lizzie, that was 2 years ago. We're going to start over," He urged. He put his arm around my waist and pressed his lips hard against mine.
"I'll never hurt you like Ethan did." Gordo stated.
"You're right Gordo. I'm going to have hope,"
***
"I didn't like the way you talked to your mother at dinner time, Elizabeth," Mark growled.
"Whatever I say to my mother is my business," I shot back.
"You're going to have to realize that I'm apart of this family now, whether you like it or not," Mark shouted. And with that, he threw me to the floor and started to hit me until I went unconcious.
***
After that memory had hit me, I couldn't take it anymore, I ran out of my house and continued running until I'd reached the big oak tree Gordo and I had always used to play on when we were younger. My tears were stinging my cheeks and a horrible pounding sound was repeating itself inside of my head.
***
"How could you do this to me Ethan! We've had a great relationship for a year and a half now!" I screamed in horror.
"It's not what it looks like Lizzie!" Ethan yelled.
"It's because I wouldn't give you what you wanted!" I screamed. Ethan didn't respond, he just stood there looking down at his hands, with guilt written all over him.
"I-I-I'm sorry Lizzie!" Ethan called after me in despair.
"You've already done your damage Ethan, I can't believe you. You do this after you've found out what I've been going through at home!" I spat at him. I slammed the door to his apartment and vowed I would never go back.
***
I cried and cried until it felt like I couldn't cry anymore. I looked around the park, there was a small playground and a bridge. The bridge wasn't too high up, not high enough that there was a bunch of safety rails, but not low enough that you could reach out and touch the water with your hands. I ran over to the bridge and sat on top of it. I stared into the crystal blue water with millions of thoughts running through my mind. If I jump, I won't cause anymore problems in people's lives. If I jump, all my problems will be gone. If I jump, the world will be a better place. I got up, and stiffened, my body like a soldier's, I was just about to jump when I felt strong arms being held around my waist. I whirled around and there stood my old best friend; David Gordon.
***
"Lizzie? This is Mrs. Sanchez. I'm afraid I have some bad news,"
"What's wrong?" I screamed into the reciever. I racked my brain of ideas of what could have possibly happened to Miranda.
"She's-she's-s-s-she's...committed...s-suicide..." Mrs. Sanchez cried. I hung up the phone and screamed in agony. I can't save her now...it's too late...and it's all my fault.
***
"What are you doing Gordo!" I hissed.
"Saving you from something you'd regret," He wouldn't let go of me, I kept trying to wiggle my way out but it was no use.
"Stop it Gordo! It's none of your business what I'm going to do!" I screamed in frustration.
"Lizzie...I never thought you'd want to do the same as Miranda, and I thought you were smarter than that. Can't you see how much pain it caused us all?" Gordo inquired. The pounding noise inside my head was now like a siren.
"That was back when things were good!" I shouted, "But now, things are not good anymore...can't you see how I've suffered? The way life has treated me? My stepfather abuses me, my boyfriend cheats on me, my best friend commits suicide, my brother dies of cancer, my mom is oblivious to what I'm going through and because of our stupid fight 2 years ago I've lost my other best friend." I sobbed and was shaking uncontrollably now. Gordo wrapped his arms around me and told me over and over things were going to be okay.
"But they're not!" I yelled in distress. "There's nothing I can do to fix my problems, the damage has been done!"
"Lizzie, I want you to always remember this, things will go deeply rotten before they turn good,"
"Yeah right," I laughed sarcastically, "Things are going to go so much better. It's not like I can go back in time and fix my problems."
"You're right Lizzie, but you can still have hope. Hope is all you need," Gordo told me.
"Why are you trying to help me anyways? You said you hated me," I cried.
"Come on Lizzie, that was 2 years ago. We're going to start over," He urged. He put his arm around my waist and pressed his lips hard against mine.
"I'll never hurt you like Ethan did." Gordo stated.
"You're right Gordo. I'm going to have hope,"