Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my Legolas action figure.
Rating: PG13
Author's Note: This is my first LOTR fanfic, so I would appreciate it if people could review and critique and tell me what needs fixing.
Only by Night
He was leaving already.
Estel watched silently as the elf moved about the floor of their small room, each step exuding his characteristic grace. He could remember when he had delighted in it, the unearthly poise in each small movement. Now it only served as a reminder of the chasm between them. Legolas's grace was just one of the things about him that Estel knew he could never possess.
Now he was sitting in the lone chair of the room, his bent body a smooth mollusk, his golden hair nearly touching the floor as he laced up his scuffed suede boots. The chair was an old one with uneven legs and chipping gold leaf, tucked away into a niche of the palace and forgotten. It had been covered with a thick layer of dust when Estel had found it and insisted that they bring it to their room.
The human on the bed shut his eyes as he felt the Elven prince's gaze shifting to him.
The prince smiled at Estel's transparent attempt to pretend he was still asleep. Regardless of how many times he had been caught, he would always keep trying. "Watching me again, Estel?"
"Leaving me again, Legolas?" he replied, his normally deep voice soft and resigned. Abandoning all pretense of sleep, he turned over, so that his back now faced the prince. It was a cold morning but he had thrown off the worn down comforter and his back was an unyielding column of bronzed brown flesh.
The smile faded off Legolas's face as he nodded mutely though he knew Estel could not see him. They both knew the answer to the question already.
Estel sighed before swinging his legs off the low bed.
"I guess I should be going too then." He was stopped by a strong grip on his wrist. He glanced down detachedly at the limber, white fingers holding him here. Were those the same fingers from last night, when they had been trembling and tangled in his hair?
"What do you want, Legolas?"
The blonde barely stifled the "you" that rose in his throat, instead he replied, "Stay... Please... I-I can be back by nightfall; I just need to do something for my…father."
"Oh, so you want me to be your night whore again?" The youth laughed bitterly, a harsh sound that grated on the delicate ears of his companion.
"Estel! Why must you insist on being so difficult? You know that I can't just dismiss my duty, it's tradition for-"
"Damnit Legolas, I know what the tradition is! It's tradition for the precious prince of Mirkwood to take a wife from a noble family and beget heirs, not to take a male Human lover!"
Estel was trembling now, his slight frame shaking from his outburst and his cheeks wet with the first of many tears. Legolas was reminded of just how young his love really was. He moved to embrace Estel from behind, pulling them both onto the ragged bed, so that he was sitting in his lap.
He cradled the boy close to him and whispered softly, kissing the unruly hair between words. "Silly humans, always so emotional."
He hesitated slightly before his next words, wanting to cherish the feeling of the warm bundle on his lap. "If you really need me to stay here, I will...I'm sorry...I haven't been spending enough time with you..."
Estel visibly tensed, shifting around so that his steel grey eyes met the warm blue ones of his love. "I don't care about that, I know you would stay with me if you could. I..." He stopped, his throat catching around his next words. He sighed before collapsing onto the strong, familiar chest, inhaling the scent of Oak leaves and earth that he loved.
If the small room had not been completely silent, Legolas would never have heard the next muffled words, almost a sob. "Why can't you just tell him."
The blonde stilled, "Estel...my father...you don't know how he is about this...and the people...they are depending on me to secure the future of Mirkwood, to continue the royal bloodline. You don't know how they might react, they could hurt you! And my father...he would never accept you as my mate..."
"I see," he said, his voice bitter and caustic, "I'm not good enough to be your mate, but I'm good enough to be your personal bed warmer."
"Estel, no!" His arms tightened around the tense body in his lap, hands stroking in a comforting pattern. "Please...I promise I'll talk to my father soon...just give me a little bit more time... please...just...don't be mad at me, meleth nin."
He sighed, too tired to keep fighting.
"When are you ever going to fix that chair, Legolas?" He asked, indicating the chair which was now wobbling back and forth due to the breeze from the open window.
"Soon...I promise."