Mario: (..)'
No no...not you. These notes.
Mario: Oh...whew!
For starters, there was a really idiotic plot hole in chapters 2 and 4/5. How did Peach and Daisy get to Bowser's so fast in chap 2 but they couldn't find the right freakin pipe in chapters 4/5?! ....The world may never know. Just try to look past that mistake, cause I ain't fixin' it.
Next, we have Daisy. I've heard from some peeps that she is a bit of a tomboy...When I started this story I pretty much knew zilch about that chic and had no intention of doing my homework about the history cause I never liked her anyway. But in a hopeful attempt at righting my wrongs, she'll be a tomboy/ditz. If you want to see the tomboy in her, just make fun of Luigi. ^_^
I have been doing SOME homework however. In case some of you forgot/didn't know: Kumos are ugly giant spiders. Gee I hope I spelled that right...Enjoy!
"Mario."
"Mph."
"Mario…"
"Ugh…"
"Mario!"
Mario's fuzzy vision slowly became more clear and he saw what was shaking him.
"Bowser!" he hollered, trying to sit up and defend himself. He winced in pain and held his head. "Ooh…"
"Relax, bro. It's me."
Mario gazed at the dark lump of green, blinking hard. "Luigi?"
"Yeah."
"…Oh. It's you."
"Yeah, it's me," he repeated a bit impatiently. "Where are we?"
"I dunno…probably Bowser's."
"Mario, what have you been smoking? Does this look like Bowser's place?"
Mario looked around, realizing that he was still in the darkness, and it was still quite difficult to tell where exactly he was. He ran a hand down his face tiredly. "Sorry. I haven't felt this bad since I mixed Bartles and James with Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey..."
"We need to find a way out," whispered Luigi, sounding a bit panicked.
"Hey, wait. How did you get here?"
"I…I don't really know." Luigi shifted his weight, leaning against the cell wall. "I remember…seeing you on the wall, but it was just a shadow…then I tried to call Peach, but I couldn't breathe…I guess maybe the light was playing tricks on me…"
Mario was silent for a bit. "…I think that's what happened too…I remember this…black mist coming at me…it really freaked me out."
"But it was probably just the light," repeated Luigi nervously.
Mario paused thoughtfully. "Yeah…the light."
Their pause in the conversation ended when footsteps drew nearer and something laughed.
Both brother instinctively backed up into the cell wall and gulped before checking themselves and standing defensively, trying to look more heroic than they felt. The shadow of a form stopped in front of them, but the darkness was too thick to tell what it was. Squinting proved successful no longer, but now there was no need to squint as a torch lit itself in a flash of white and yellow. Once the Marios adjusted to this blaze of light, they saw a short, stubby monster, almost demonic in appearance. Everything about him was black, his clothes, his slimy skin, even his eyes. His height alone was not fearsome, but when he grinned rows of shiny black teeth instilled a bit of panic back into the plumbers. The monster growled, still smiling.
"She'll see you now."
"This is great," sighed Daisy as they left the pipe room of the palace. "If Bowser doesn't have them, who does?"
"Seems like Wario and Waluigi would, but Bowser said they were upset over what happened to Mario and Luigi."
"We'd better find them first, then we'll know what happened."
"What do you think, Pauline?"
The woman turned around, broken from her silent thought. "Sure. Find them."
"We should probably start where we saw them, in the forest."
"That was hours ago, Peach. They could be anywhere."
"Well, where do you suggest we start, Daisy?"
"Don't they have some sort of hang-out, girls?"
"Umm…"
"Not that I know of…"
"They're always in a different place…"
Pauline sighed, her patience ebbing away. "We don't have time to ask around. We already wasted a whole day harassing Bowser."
Peach felt her own patience slipping but forced herself not to retaliate. "We have no other choice but to ask others. I don't have a crystal ball in my castle."
"Uh, ladies? Can we stop arguing?" interjected Daisy.
"We're not arguing," they said simultaneously. Daisy sighed and rolled her eyes.
"I know this place in Sarasaland…not a great place to make friends but it serves a good drink."
Peach and Pauline stared; Daisy had finally gotten their attention.
"Well I never had any! That's what it says on the sign outside!"
Pauline grinned in spite of herself. "Yeah, sure, Daisy. What about it?"
"There's a secret hideout inside for some of Tatanga's old cronies."
"That scum is still around?"
"Yeah, but they don't bother anyone. Everyone knows their harmless nuts. When they're not in hiding they keep predicting 'the end'."
"Um, excuse me," interrupted Pauline. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but it sounds like a good place to start. Let's go."
"This is it," said Daisy, ducking a bottle that was chucked out of the broken window.
"It took us all night to get to this dump?" sighed Peach. "I'm exhausted."
Pauline looked up and read the filthy sign over the door. " 'Bad company, good drinks.' Well, you didn't lie, Daisy."
"Told you so," she sniffed. Pauline stepped forward and pushed open the door. A strong, nasty stench greeted them as well as a mix of cursing, jeers, shouts, and whistles.
"Hey, cutie. How's about a smoochie?"
Pauline looked horrified and disgusted. You would too if a short, ugly Goomba thing said that to you. "You're dreaming, butt breath."
Daisy gulped but summoned her courage and stepped up to the bar, keeping her head low so no one would recognize her.
"What'll it be, sweet thing?"
"I'm not here for a drink. I'm looking for Aster."
The bartender choked. "Aster? W-w-what do you want with-?"
"That cheat still has to uh…pay up from a bet we made."
The bartender did not look convinced. He stared at Daisy then gasped. "I know you! You're Prin-"
Daisy cut him off and grabbed his shirt collar, pulling him closer towards her. "I know who I am, you stupid sack of protoplasm!" she growled in his face. "What I need to know is where I can find Aster!"
The bartender gulped noisily and pointed to the ladies room in the far corner. Daisy shoved him away and stepped through the smoke to the ladies room. Peach made a face.
"Daisy, shouldn't we wait until this Aster is done with her business?"
"Aster isn't a girl. Besides, there's a secret knock."
Pauline leaned over and whispered to Peach, "How does she know so much about this stuff?"
Peach shrugged nervously , hoping her royal friend wasn't involved in some kind of Sarasaland mafia.
Daisy walked up to the door and knocked the beat of "shave and a haircut."
"That's it?" asked Peach in shock. "That's the secret knock?"
"They're not very original," Daisy shrugged.
"Or very bright," Pauline muttered. The following line of "two bits" answered them and the clicking of the lock brought their attention to the door handle. Very slowly, Daisy turned it to the left…and the floor fell away from their feet.
When they finally landed on an old wood floor, Pauline felt anger rising up in her again. "I hate trap doors!"
"I'm sorry you feel that way, my dear." They turned toward the mysterious voice and gasped at a pair of blood red eyes. "You could have used the back door." They looked to a spot in the corner bathed in light; through the window on the door the girls could see steps leading upward.
"Are you Aster?" Daisy asked hesitantly.
"Yes."
"Oh."
"That was easy," mumbled Pauline. The eyes came closer until a short, old Kumo standing before them. His eight legs were furry, and he wore an old top hat with a hole punched through the top.
"What do you want?"
"We…we…"
Pauline took over for Daisy. "We need to find Wario and…Whatshisname…"
"Waluigi," finished Peach.
"Yeah, him too."
The Kumo nodded thoughtfully. "Why do you wish to know their whereabouts?"
"None of your business," snapped Pauline. Immediately, twenty more little Kumo's popped out and glared, narrowing their crimson eyes.
"Anything that has to do with those accursed plumbers is our business," Aster growled.
"We never said anything about Ma-"
"Silence!" he squeaked. "We know that Wario has ties to whom you speak of."
"We hate him!" shouted one.
"Why?" asked Pauline.
"He defeated our master Tatanga and banished us from the kingdom!"
"Then what are you still doing here?"
Aster glowered. "What the plumber doesn't know won't kill him…but now that you've found our secret, master Tatanga will be most displeased."
Daisy sighed. "Your 'almighty ruler' has been gone for years, Aster."
"That's what you think!" cried Aster, holding up a fearsome device in maniacal victory. "Behold! Because of our genius technology, the end is nearing!" At a closer look, the girls found it was just a colander with some silverware sticking out of it.
"What is that?" asked Peach, more amused than frightened.
"Our transmission device back to Tatanga's mother ship! He's been there ever since-"
"Since Mario defeated him, blah blah blah. Look, shorty…"
"Mario?" shouted something scratchy. "Who dares to say the name of Mario?"
Aster's eyes grew wide. "It is our master! You have angered him!"
Glancing nervously at each other, the Princesses and Pauline found no reasonable answer for the voice, but chose to ignore it. "You're main man isn't coming back, so why don't you save us the time of kicking your butts out of here and tell us where Wario is."
Aster had a look of terror and crazed joy on his face as he shook his head.
"Did Wario tell you anything?" demanded Daisy.
Aster shook with fear, staring at the colander. Pauline knocked off his hat and grabbed his hairy head, pulling him up. "Did he??"
"Augh! N-no! Nothing! Nothing at all!"
"He was here wasn't he?" Daisy asked.
"No no, I've not seen him since Monday! Oh, I mean…augh!"
"The Marios disappeared on Sunday! He said something about Mario, didn't he?" prodded Peach.
"No! Shh! Don't say that name when our master can hear!"
Pauline shook him angrily. "Tell us what they said or you'll be in a lot worse shape than if your master could get to you!"
Peach looked around. All the other little Kumos were cowering in fear, their red eyes peeking over crates and burlap sacks in terror. "Your friends can't help you Aster. Just tell us what you know and we'll leave you alone!"
"N-no!"
"Or maybe you and your cronies took him?"
"No!"
"Aster!" screamed Daisy. "Tatanga is not here! Just tell us!"
He gasped noisily and swallowed. "He did say something about M-the one who banished us. He seemed extremely nervous."
"Did he know what happened?"
"He…he said, he saw something, but he was so distraight-"
CRASH. The floor of the bar, or rather the ceiling of the basement, caved in suddenly. The girls ducked as boards, chairs and rugs collapsed on top of them. The dust began to settle, and they heard Aster's voice, pleasantly anxious.
"Ha! Ha ha! Here comes our master now!"
Daisy pulled herself out of the wreckage and glared at the Kumo. "Aster! For the last time, Tatanga is gone!" She enunciated every word. "He is…not……gone…" Her anger melted away and was replaced with a mix of shock and horror. She stared up into the hole in the ceiling, transfixed.
Peach brushed herself off. "Daisy…what is it?"
When she didn't answer, Peach looked up next to her. What she saw made her heart skip a beat. A huge shadow fell over the building, and something that looked like a spaceship hovered low over the ground…wait. Spaceship?! It began to roar loudly as it lowered even closer to them.
"Daisy, what is that?" shouted Pauline above the noise.
Daisy panted breathlessly like she was about to pass out…until she actually did.
"Daisy!"
A bright beam of white light shot out from the bottom of the fearsome ship and landed right on the three girls.
"Uh oh…" Pauline shielded her eyes and ducked low, grabbing something for leverage. She glanced up when she heard a shout.
"Pauline!"
"Daisy!" The light was so bright, Pauline had to keep her eyes shut. She jumped for the blinding Princess and grabbed her pant leg, holding her back from the force of the beam. This plan seemed to work until a pair of mechanical arms popped out of the ship. One grabbed Pauline's waist, and the other grabbed the Princess. The two were torn apart.
"Pauline!" The girl was dragged upward and into the opening of the ship. The beam of light disappeared and the claws retracted back.
"No!" Pauline shouted. The ship's engine roared deafeningly and took off in a flash in the blue morning sky, a stark contrast to the dismal, dark basement she was left in. She sighed heavily and stared at the rubble filled ground in shock.
"Oh, great."