My Heart in Your Hands
by Princess of Monkeys
Chapter 33
Yeah, I know it's been taking me forever to update this thing... I think Ish fed a plotbunny some crack and sent it over to bite me in the butt to get me motivated to work on this- but instead, I got an idea for another story, so I had to write that, and then I couldn't make this chapter work out right.. And I'm guessing no one likes Kitty and Lance, cuz no one read my other story.... Hint hint! Go read it, it's called 'Got Me Wrong,' you'll like it! And you'll make me happy! And happy writers write faster! Er- yeah, something like that.
Oh yeah, and a note to my anonymous reviewer- you know who you are: I'm sorry you don't like the idea of a Rogue with superpowers, like she is in the comics. But, before you write off my story entirely, keep this in mind. Rogue's never met Carol Danvers in this universe; therefore, she's not invulnerable, nor can she fly, or use super strength or any of Carol's other talents. The Professor stated that he thinks that Rogue may be able to be trained to use her new abilities (i.e. the ability to use the powers of those she's previously touched) and he thinks that she might be able to control her original mutation too. But, nothing's for certain, and the story isn't done yet. Think about it this way- if she's magically cured, where would I get the angst from? And I like writing angst for Rogue. So, don't give up hope yet, kay?
The Professor and Dr. McCoy left the med lab, and wandered out into a scene of chaos. Several Jamies were scattered across the hallway, along with what had once been a plate of sandwiches. Bobby was standing between Ray and Roberto, trying unsuccessfully to diffuse the ever-present tension between the two. Jean and Scott seemed to be engaged in a mental shouting match through their shared mindlink; from the expression on Jean's face, it seemed she was winning. Meanwhile, Kitty and Amara were obliviously carrying on a deep discussion about a particular romance novelist, while Kurt was muttering unpleasant things in German and staring fixedly at Remy, an oasis of calm, who was sitting on the floor absorbed in a game of solitaire. looking farther up into the hall, the Professor caught sight of Logan and Ororo, staying well back from the fray, engaged in a conversation of their own. Logan, feeling eyes upon him, looked up from his discussion, and gave an ear piercing whistle, cutting through the noise and immediately silencing the students. Heads turned eagerly towards the Professor, looks of expectancy on all faces.
Holding up a hand to forestall questions, Charles stated succinctly "Rogue has not woken yet. However, I was able to gain access to her mind, and she is fine." He paused for a moment, deciding how much to tell of the processes going on inside her mind. "She seems to be working on healing from the trauma she has experienced." He went on to explain, in a simplified fashion, that Rogue's mental breakdown had occurred because her head was too full of the memories and personalities she had absorbed. "When several people touched her at the same time during the concert, there were too many memories and personalities all at once for her to deal with, and her mind couldn't handle the strain."
"So her mind just.. short circuited," Bobby commented, serious for once, and the Professor nodded at the analogy. Then Scott spoke up, his argument with Jean apparently concluded. "Is it going to happen again?"
Though he was by no means certain it wouldn't, Charles said "no," with a finality that signaled the end of discussion over that particular question. He was straddling the fine line between telling the students what they needed to know, and respecting Rogue's right to privacy, and discussing the origin of her mental trauma- dating back to the first eruption of her powers- was definitely something that would violate her privacy. Scott nodded, knowing the Professor well enough to know when to not pursue the matter, and asked "why hasn't she woken up yet, if she's healing?"
"She will wake, Scott, have patience. But her continued sleep is part of the process- the mind integrates memories during sleep, through dreams. These dreams are essential for her to be able to fully heal. I believe it will be at least another day until she is conscious again." Though he had no basis for that assessment, he wanted to give them a feeling of hope; telling them he truly had no idea when she would wake up was not going to do that.
There was silence for a moment, while the students digested that piece of information. Kitty looked over at Remy for a moment, uncertainty in her eyes; hesitantly, she asked "Professor, if we, like, talked to her- can she hear us?"
The Professor nodded thoughtfully. "There is no reason to believe not, Kitty. Rogue is not in a coma, just sleeping very deeply; we all hear what goes on around us, to a limited degree, while we sleep, so if someone were to speak to her, she should be able to hear it. She may not remember when she wakes up, but she would hear you." Kitty nodded, a look of resolve settling on her features.
He was surprised to hear Jean speak up next. "Professor, isn't there anything we can do to help her, to speed up the process more or something?" He understood the reasoning behind her question- her failure to help Rogue the night before was gnawing away at her. Sadly, he shook his head. "No, Jean- she will not allow any more outside intrusion into her mind." He left unspoken the unpleasant thought of how he had been kicked out of Rogue's mind just minutes before.
They had all begun to talk amongst themselves at this point, but the Professor held up his hand for silence again. "She will come back to us, and she will still have to deal with the emotional trauma of last night's events. That will not heal as easily as her physical wounds, I fear. Anyone who wishes to visit Rogue or speak to her may do so; the med lab will be open to everyone." He saw several sets of eyes flicker towards Remy; Scott turned his head towards the former Acolyte, his look saying he held the other personally responsible for Rogue's situation.
As some of the students began to leave the hallway, either unwilling or unable to deal with seeing Rogue at the present time, Scott's look remained unchanged. Remy looked back at him impassively, expression neutral, and Charles sighed, sharing a look with Hank, standing behind his chair. Hank just shook his head and switched on the monitoring beeper, moving past Charles to catch up with Logan and Ororo, who were shepherding the students back upstairs to have lunch, since the plate of sandwiches had met with its unfortunate demise.
As the flood of students moved past, Scott and Jean remained in place, waiting, as did Kurt, and of course Remy. Kitty hesitated for a moment, looking torn, but then she turned and followed Amara to the elevator, ponytail swinging listlessly, shoulders hunched. Anger flickered in the depths of Kurt's amber eyes as he'd watched her leave, but then he shrugged once and it died. He'd thought she'd cared, when she'd asked her question, but evidently he'd been wrong. Scott was the first to break the staring contest, following Jean into the med lab, and Kurt was right behind him, leaving Remy alone in the hall with the Professor.
They looked at each other for a minute, and the Professor raised an eyebrow and invited Remy to join the others for lunch upstairs. When the Cajun shot a look back at the med lab, Charles said gently "she will not wake today, Remy." Accepting the words, Remy nodded, and moved around to push Xavier's chair to the elevator. Though he knew the man could manage it just fine, he intended the gesture to be a mark of respect. Despite Magneto's descriptions of Xavier as being weak and ineffective, he had expected someone controlling and forceful, with an ironclad will. In short, he had expected Xavier to be more like Magneto, figuring that their friendship had come from sharing common personalities, though their ideals clashed. But, as he'd mentioned to Rogue the night before, after his first conversation with the man, the Professor had defied his expectations. Instead of an ineffectual and weak dreamer, or a domineering control freak, Xavier had a strong patriarchal presence, much like his former adoptive father Jean-Luc, Guild Father of the Thieves. Remy figured that if he treated Xavier with the same respect given to elders within the Guild, he couldn't go wrong.
As they rode the elevator in silence, the Professor's thoughts turned towards the brewing conflict between Scott and Remy. With worry pervading the house and tempers already beginning to fray, the matter could not be allowed to escalate- Remy's position was fragile enough, without being turned into a scapegoat by the team leader of the X-Men. Though he hadn't probed deeply into Remy's mind during their conversation the night before- the young man possessed impressive mental shields- he'd been able to catch enough surface thoughts to know that Remy had left Magneto with the intent of seeking a place here. And it didn't take genius level intellect to realize that Magneto would be none too pleased by that.
Despite Scott's opinion about him, Charles believed that Remy would make a valuable addition to the team. His knowledge of Magneto's organization would make him a useful ally, and from what he'd heard of the Sentinel battle, his fighting ability would be a bonus indeed. After their first conversation, he had decided to offer Remy a place among the X-Men; after lunch, he would broach the subject. _And then Logan can take them both to the Danger Room and beat the conflict out of them,_ he thought mirthlessly. If it had worked- somewhat- with Ray and Roberto, it would work with anyone.
Back in the med lab, Scott and Jean stood before Rogue's bed, hands entwined. Anger shaped the contours of Scott's face- anger at the Acolyte because Scott wanted someone to blame for this whole mess; anger at Mystique for wreaking more havoc on their lives; and finally, anger at himself. It didn't matter that she was healing, and it didn't matter that she would eventually forgive him- what mattered was that he had attacked her in the first place. She was his teammate, his friend- part of his family, even. And he hadn't even wondered where she was, hadn't stopped to look for her- he'd just attacked with abandon. All he could manage was "we didn't know, Rogue- we didn't know it was you," before dropping Jean's hand and walking out. She stared after him for a moment, then turned back to Rogue. She spoke quickly, adding a touch of telepathic force to her words.
"Look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear right now, or ever." Jean paused, the old hurt resurfacing on her face. It didn't take telepathy to figure out that Rogue had didn't like her, had never liked her. And even with her mind reading powers, Jean had never been able to figure out why. Shaking her head and taking a deep breath, she continued. "But I have to say this. Rogue- I was only trying to help you. I never meant to hurt you. None of us did." Staring down at the unconscious girl, she whispered "I-I'm sorry." Her footsteps clicked on the tile floor as she, too, left the room.
The whole time, Kurt had been perched in a chair at the foot of the bed, oblivious. Over and over he repeated prayers, whispering hoarsely in German, pleading for God to heal the hurt his mother had done to her. One of the lights overhead began to flicker, and he stayed there, tail hanging disconsolately, voice echoing lost and broken in the silence of the room.
by Princess of Monkeys
Chapter 33
Yeah, I know it's been taking me forever to update this thing... I think Ish fed a plotbunny some crack and sent it over to bite me in the butt to get me motivated to work on this- but instead, I got an idea for another story, so I had to write that, and then I couldn't make this chapter work out right.. And I'm guessing no one likes Kitty and Lance, cuz no one read my other story.... Hint hint! Go read it, it's called 'Got Me Wrong,' you'll like it! And you'll make me happy! And happy writers write faster! Er- yeah, something like that.
Oh yeah, and a note to my anonymous reviewer- you know who you are: I'm sorry you don't like the idea of a Rogue with superpowers, like she is in the comics. But, before you write off my story entirely, keep this in mind. Rogue's never met Carol Danvers in this universe; therefore, she's not invulnerable, nor can she fly, or use super strength or any of Carol's other talents. The Professor stated that he thinks that Rogue may be able to be trained to use her new abilities (i.e. the ability to use the powers of those she's previously touched) and he thinks that she might be able to control her original mutation too. But, nothing's for certain, and the story isn't done yet. Think about it this way- if she's magically cured, where would I get the angst from? And I like writing angst for Rogue. So, don't give up hope yet, kay?
The Professor and Dr. McCoy left the med lab, and wandered out into a scene of chaos. Several Jamies were scattered across the hallway, along with what had once been a plate of sandwiches. Bobby was standing between Ray and Roberto, trying unsuccessfully to diffuse the ever-present tension between the two. Jean and Scott seemed to be engaged in a mental shouting match through their shared mindlink; from the expression on Jean's face, it seemed she was winning. Meanwhile, Kitty and Amara were obliviously carrying on a deep discussion about a particular romance novelist, while Kurt was muttering unpleasant things in German and staring fixedly at Remy, an oasis of calm, who was sitting on the floor absorbed in a game of solitaire. looking farther up into the hall, the Professor caught sight of Logan and Ororo, staying well back from the fray, engaged in a conversation of their own. Logan, feeling eyes upon him, looked up from his discussion, and gave an ear piercing whistle, cutting through the noise and immediately silencing the students. Heads turned eagerly towards the Professor, looks of expectancy on all faces.
Holding up a hand to forestall questions, Charles stated succinctly "Rogue has not woken yet. However, I was able to gain access to her mind, and she is fine." He paused for a moment, deciding how much to tell of the processes going on inside her mind. "She seems to be working on healing from the trauma she has experienced." He went on to explain, in a simplified fashion, that Rogue's mental breakdown had occurred because her head was too full of the memories and personalities she had absorbed. "When several people touched her at the same time during the concert, there were too many memories and personalities all at once for her to deal with, and her mind couldn't handle the strain."
"So her mind just.. short circuited," Bobby commented, serious for once, and the Professor nodded at the analogy. Then Scott spoke up, his argument with Jean apparently concluded. "Is it going to happen again?"
Though he was by no means certain it wouldn't, Charles said "no," with a finality that signaled the end of discussion over that particular question. He was straddling the fine line between telling the students what they needed to know, and respecting Rogue's right to privacy, and discussing the origin of her mental trauma- dating back to the first eruption of her powers- was definitely something that would violate her privacy. Scott nodded, knowing the Professor well enough to know when to not pursue the matter, and asked "why hasn't she woken up yet, if she's healing?"
"She will wake, Scott, have patience. But her continued sleep is part of the process- the mind integrates memories during sleep, through dreams. These dreams are essential for her to be able to fully heal. I believe it will be at least another day until she is conscious again." Though he had no basis for that assessment, he wanted to give them a feeling of hope; telling them he truly had no idea when she would wake up was not going to do that.
There was silence for a moment, while the students digested that piece of information. Kitty looked over at Remy for a moment, uncertainty in her eyes; hesitantly, she asked "Professor, if we, like, talked to her- can she hear us?"
The Professor nodded thoughtfully. "There is no reason to believe not, Kitty. Rogue is not in a coma, just sleeping very deeply; we all hear what goes on around us, to a limited degree, while we sleep, so if someone were to speak to her, she should be able to hear it. She may not remember when she wakes up, but she would hear you." Kitty nodded, a look of resolve settling on her features.
He was surprised to hear Jean speak up next. "Professor, isn't there anything we can do to help her, to speed up the process more or something?" He understood the reasoning behind her question- her failure to help Rogue the night before was gnawing away at her. Sadly, he shook his head. "No, Jean- she will not allow any more outside intrusion into her mind." He left unspoken the unpleasant thought of how he had been kicked out of Rogue's mind just minutes before.
They had all begun to talk amongst themselves at this point, but the Professor held up his hand for silence again. "She will come back to us, and she will still have to deal with the emotional trauma of last night's events. That will not heal as easily as her physical wounds, I fear. Anyone who wishes to visit Rogue or speak to her may do so; the med lab will be open to everyone." He saw several sets of eyes flicker towards Remy; Scott turned his head towards the former Acolyte, his look saying he held the other personally responsible for Rogue's situation.
As some of the students began to leave the hallway, either unwilling or unable to deal with seeing Rogue at the present time, Scott's look remained unchanged. Remy looked back at him impassively, expression neutral, and Charles sighed, sharing a look with Hank, standing behind his chair. Hank just shook his head and switched on the monitoring beeper, moving past Charles to catch up with Logan and Ororo, who were shepherding the students back upstairs to have lunch, since the plate of sandwiches had met with its unfortunate demise.
As the flood of students moved past, Scott and Jean remained in place, waiting, as did Kurt, and of course Remy. Kitty hesitated for a moment, looking torn, but then she turned and followed Amara to the elevator, ponytail swinging listlessly, shoulders hunched. Anger flickered in the depths of Kurt's amber eyes as he'd watched her leave, but then he shrugged once and it died. He'd thought she'd cared, when she'd asked her question, but evidently he'd been wrong. Scott was the first to break the staring contest, following Jean into the med lab, and Kurt was right behind him, leaving Remy alone in the hall with the Professor.
They looked at each other for a minute, and the Professor raised an eyebrow and invited Remy to join the others for lunch upstairs. When the Cajun shot a look back at the med lab, Charles said gently "she will not wake today, Remy." Accepting the words, Remy nodded, and moved around to push Xavier's chair to the elevator. Though he knew the man could manage it just fine, he intended the gesture to be a mark of respect. Despite Magneto's descriptions of Xavier as being weak and ineffective, he had expected someone controlling and forceful, with an ironclad will. In short, he had expected Xavier to be more like Magneto, figuring that their friendship had come from sharing common personalities, though their ideals clashed. But, as he'd mentioned to Rogue the night before, after his first conversation with the man, the Professor had defied his expectations. Instead of an ineffectual and weak dreamer, or a domineering control freak, Xavier had a strong patriarchal presence, much like his former adoptive father Jean-Luc, Guild Father of the Thieves. Remy figured that if he treated Xavier with the same respect given to elders within the Guild, he couldn't go wrong.
As they rode the elevator in silence, the Professor's thoughts turned towards the brewing conflict between Scott and Remy. With worry pervading the house and tempers already beginning to fray, the matter could not be allowed to escalate- Remy's position was fragile enough, without being turned into a scapegoat by the team leader of the X-Men. Though he hadn't probed deeply into Remy's mind during their conversation the night before- the young man possessed impressive mental shields- he'd been able to catch enough surface thoughts to know that Remy had left Magneto with the intent of seeking a place here. And it didn't take genius level intellect to realize that Magneto would be none too pleased by that.
Despite Scott's opinion about him, Charles believed that Remy would make a valuable addition to the team. His knowledge of Magneto's organization would make him a useful ally, and from what he'd heard of the Sentinel battle, his fighting ability would be a bonus indeed. After their first conversation, he had decided to offer Remy a place among the X-Men; after lunch, he would broach the subject. _And then Logan can take them both to the Danger Room and beat the conflict out of them,_ he thought mirthlessly. If it had worked- somewhat- with Ray and Roberto, it would work with anyone.
Back in the med lab, Scott and Jean stood before Rogue's bed, hands entwined. Anger shaped the contours of Scott's face- anger at the Acolyte because Scott wanted someone to blame for this whole mess; anger at Mystique for wreaking more havoc on their lives; and finally, anger at himself. It didn't matter that she was healing, and it didn't matter that she would eventually forgive him- what mattered was that he had attacked her in the first place. She was his teammate, his friend- part of his family, even. And he hadn't even wondered where she was, hadn't stopped to look for her- he'd just attacked with abandon. All he could manage was "we didn't know, Rogue- we didn't know it was you," before dropping Jean's hand and walking out. She stared after him for a moment, then turned back to Rogue. She spoke quickly, adding a touch of telepathic force to her words.
"Look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear right now, or ever." Jean paused, the old hurt resurfacing on her face. It didn't take telepathy to figure out that Rogue had didn't like her, had never liked her. And even with her mind reading powers, Jean had never been able to figure out why. Shaking her head and taking a deep breath, she continued. "But I have to say this. Rogue- I was only trying to help you. I never meant to hurt you. None of us did." Staring down at the unconscious girl, she whispered "I-I'm sorry." Her footsteps clicked on the tile floor as she, too, left the room.
The whole time, Kurt had been perched in a chair at the foot of the bed, oblivious. Over and over he repeated prayers, whispering hoarsely in German, pleading for God to heal the hurt his mother had done to her. One of the lights overhead began to flicker, and he stayed there, tail hanging disconsolately, voice echoing lost and broken in the silence of the room.