Seasons

Chapter 3: Yuki

Yuki.

The white fluffy snow came down in little clusters and surrounded her in a gentle swirl of white. Her delicate hand reached out to touch, and the snowflakes softly fell on her hand.

It was white all around her. White, covered with snow and a single flower in the midst of it all.

This last flower fascinated her. A thin layer of ice enclosed the gray delicate petals as well as its sickly green stem. She bent down, a movement graceful and fluid. And yet she was not aware of her grace; all her attention was on the one flower.

With one white finger she reached out to stroke the pale cold blossom.


It shattered under her touch. The pieces just flew away, high into the biting cold wind. She watched it go and blinked back a tear. Untouchable beauty.

She stood and turned. Behind her, a tall dark figure stood, watching her closely. "Hiiragizawa-san, why take me to Switzerland the coldest time of the year?" she finally spoke, walking towards him.

He cocked his head, reaching out a gloved hand to help her. "Because I like the cold," he answered, smiling, "and I thought you would too."

Her hand was gloved too, and she accepted the hand that was offered. How true it was, that she liked the cold. And how glad she was, that he was being truthful with her. "Do you truly want to be my friend, Hiiragizawa-san?" she asked, for what seemed like the millionth time.

Eriol smiled for the millionth time. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have taken you to Switzerland," he said, pulling her hand closer to him.

Even if she didn't resist, she was startled. Her large violet eyes opened wide, as did her mouth. "Hiiragizawa-san, where are you taking me now?" A strange question, since they weren't moving at all.

He was looking at her rather strangely, with an earnestness she did not understand, and still they did not move.

The wind blew harder, tussling both of their hair. A stray strand fell from Tomoyo's perfect hair into her blank serious face. Eriol's other hand came to her brow and slowly tucked the hair back in.

She suddenly came back to her senses. Pulling away almost reluctantly, she smiled and spoke, "Hiiragizawa-san, we should get back and see how Nakuru- san and Spinel-san are doing, ne?" And she turned; her footsteps quick and hurried.

Eriol looked after her, the strange look still in his eyes; he followed slowly.

+ + +


They came in laughing.

Well actually, Nakuru came in laughing. Tomoyo looked up from her cup of steaming dark tea. Eriol merely ignored them, eyes still intent on the thick volume in his long fingers.

"Eeeeriol-samaaaaaaa!" Nakuru excitedly bounced in. "Suuuuppi-chan didn't want to play with the snow with me so look!" she held out her hand. A beautiful cat-like snow figure sat in her palm. "He played in the snow!"

A sudden hiccup caused the fluffy white snow to disperse. Now Nakuru looked sheepish. "Oh yeah, I stuffed his face with peppermint candy." Spinel Sun looked at both of them sleepily and hiccuped again. "So he's kind of drunk." Now he began to laugh hysterically, hiccuping the whole way.

Tomoyo blinked, but couldn't hold back a smile. They both looked so ridiculously happy, she suddenly felt happier too. At this thought, she suddenly felt angry. She didn't want to be happy. She had to be sad, to be mad, at them because they left her.

"Is something wrong, Tomoyo-chan?" Nakuru's voice brought her out of her thoughts. Spinel Sun actually looked a little less drunk for the moment, his eyes looking at her quizzically. Eriol was looking at her too, his gaze intense and piercing.

"Nothing," she quickly shook her head. "It's nothing." Her head suddenly throbbed, and she stood, charming them with a gracious smile. "I thank you for your kindness in allowing me to stay in your home. I…need to rest now." She bowed and walked off to the room Eriol had showed her where she could stay.

Eriol's eyes followed her, still not losing their intensity. "She still feels it."

Nakuru now sat, Spinel Sun having fallen asleep again. "Feels what? The pain? Eriol-sama, it's only been 2 months. One of those months she had to suffer all by herself. And for this month, both of you have just begun to know each other. You can't expect miracles in such a short time."

Eriol sighed. "I know and I understand, but it unnerves me. Through the whole time that I've taken her traveling she never asked me about Sakura-san. Not once. And she never wants to talk about it."

"You never want to talk about Sensei," Nakuru's voice came out low, but clear and accusing.

"Mizuki Kaho has nothing to do with this," Eriol maintained his calm dignity. His voice was icy and very controlled.

Nakuru saw that she had crossed the line so she no longer pursued the subject. Instead she rose and with Spinel still in her arms, "Eriol-sama I'm going to bed. Good night."

"Good night," the iciness was now gone from his voice and only regret remained. But before he could apologize, she was gone.


+ + +

The tall grandfather clock cast long shadows down the hall, ticking softly until it finally struck midnight. There was a soft gong.

Hiiragizawa Eriol looked up from the book. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked tired. Finally closing it, the cover was now clearly shown. Magic and Death.


Before he could even think of what to do next, his sensitive ears picked up a soft sound from somewhere. He now stood, and walked into the hallway.

The sound got slightly louder. It sounded like "…crying?" he murmured.

As if magnetically drawn, his feet led him in front of Tomoyo's room. He put his ear against the closed door and listened. Sure enough, the weeping was coming from within.

He rapped at the door lightly, as to not wake Spinel or Ruby. He then heard the rustling of frantic hands and hurried sniffs. Then he heard her voice. "C-come in." As composed as it was, her voice sounded raw and almost hoarse.

Turning the knob, he stepped in. "Daidouji-san?"

She was sitting on the large bed, bathed in the moonlight that made her white skin look luminous and beautiful. "Hiiragizawa-san..." she coughed slightly. She was at a loss of what to say next.

Queen of masks, as she indubitably was, he still could not help but notice the rosier cheeks, the pinker nose, the red puffy eyes. And his quick eyes saw something sticking out from under the bed. Before she knew what he was doing, he pulled out the white tissue, causing mountains more to fall out. All were soaked with tears. One third was soaked with blood. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong, Daidouji-san?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

She opened her mouth to say 'nothing' but what came out was "Everything." At this word, she broke. Huge loud sobs wrecked her body, making her shake with emotion.

"Daidouji-san…" he trailed off, looking at the weeping girl.

He moved towards her, but, "Don't," she gasped out firmly. "Don't come near me, Hiiragizawa." He ignored this in his concern for her. She glared, her eyes dilating horribly. "I'm serious, Eriol," she bit her lip sharply. "I don't want your pity!"

He was taken aback by this statement. His voice lost the dignity and control and once again he was a hurt little boy, "I'm not giving you pity, Daidouji-san," he took one step closer. "I thought…I thought I was your friend." He took a long breath. "Aren't I, Tomoyo-san?" he reverted to her name as she did.

Through her watery eyes, she looked at him, long and hard. His apparent vulnerability caused her barriers to lower. "Yes, but…" in the process of trying to think up something, her anger suddenly returned. "You don't understand! You can't understand! You didn't know her as I did! You didn't grow up with her…"

"On the contrary, Daidouji-san," the hard exterior returned. "I came into being in this form, as you know, and I watched Sakura grow from the day she was born. If she was happy, I rejoiced with her, if she was sad, I would grieve too. So don't say I don't understand. She's my half's daughter, and therefore, I consider her my daughter as well."

Tomoyo was silent, gulping down a few more shaky sobs. Her vision was blurred but remorse was running through her veins and in an impulsive act, she stood and embraced Eriol.

All of a sudden, the crying started anew.

+ + +

"I'm sorry, Eriol," she choked out. He felt her moist cheek against his neck and the rapid heaving of her breast. Her hands were tightly put around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

He softened and his arms went around her. "I'm sorry too Tomoyo," he whispered.

She didn't seem to have heard him, because her next words came out in a tumble. "I'll never do it again, I promise, I promise…" her crying was almost hysterical. "I miss them so much, so much…I…I want to see them again…so bad, so bad…Eriol…"

It was then that he saw it. A small knife, the steel edges sharp, lay beside her. The edges were tainted with red. He unhooked her hands from him and taking her gently by the arm, turned her wrist to the moonlight.

Scars marred her beautiful wrists. Old scars, new scars, reopened ones. All in dried blood.

"Tomoyo," was all he could say, "Tomoyo."

She took his wrist and let the moonlight shine on his, and there they were, those same scars on his wrists. She looked at him questioningly through blurred eyes, but the sadness overtook her once more, and she cried again.

Eriol sat down on the bed, and she buried her head in his chest, drowning him in her tears. She cried like the world was ending, but took comfort in his warmth. He too, let the silent tears fall, mingling their tears, also taking comfort from her.

Outside the snow fell softly, gently, in small whirlwinds of magical wonder. The white pureness floated from the sky down touching the tainted earth.


Yuki.