"Hey guys," Velma yelled to her friends. "There's rumors of vampires haunting an old hotel that is supposed to reopen."
"God damn it. Why do we have to get involved in all these fucking mysteries," Shaggy grumbled.
"Why do you have to complain all the time Shaggy? We just go in and investigate. It's not like this is dangerous," Daphne said.
"Easy you to say. All you have to do is jump Freddy's bones while me and Scooby risk our lives being the bait for the demons. You contribute absolutely nothing to the group. And truth be told Freddy doesn't do anything either. You just pull of the mask. Then you just sit there fuckin' Daphne while me, Scooby, and Velma do all the work."
"Don't get all high and mighty on us Shaggy. You and Scooby just sit there getting stoned the whole time. And how is it going to look if we have that bull dyke taking off the mask. I'm the one that looks the part of the leader."
"Wait a second, you bastard," Velma cut in.
"Shut up, you whiny, pug faced bitch," Daphne said.
"Useless whore," Velma responded.
"Let's just end this conversation and go retrieve Buffy and friends," Freddy said.
"Oh yes, lets get that bimbo so you can have your three way," Shaggy said.
"Actually it's only a three way if everybody has sex with each other. Freddy's just gonna have sex with us but me and Buffy won't do anything together. We're not like Velma."
Buffy sat in her house with her mom. She was still recovering from her surgery. They were watching a soap opera and spending time with each other. There was a knock at the door. Buffy went and opened it and saw Willow, Xander, and the people she met the other night. For some reason they appeared pissed off.
"Hi guys. Lets get prepared. Um…are you guys sure you should come? I think this will be more dangerous than the last time we met," Buffy told them. They didn't know that she was the slayer and it was better if they never learned.
"Why do you say that?" Freddy asked.
"Well, there will be more…um…people in masks this time."
"We're not worried," Velma said.
"Willow, Xander come in," Buffy said. "We'll just be a moment."
"Man these guys have no idea what they are getting into," Xander said.
"Yeah, they could get killed," Willow said.
"What do we do?" Buffy asked. Then the three heard several loud cuss words from the other side of the door. She went outside. "Is everything okay?"
None of them responded. "Listen, you guys are fighting. You need to take a day off. We'll handle this." She shut the door before they could respond.
That night Scooby and the gang arrived at the hotel. They were still mad at one another. "You guys showed up," Buffy said glumly.
"We're prepared for things now let's just split up," Freddy told her. Freddy went with Buffy and Daphne. Xander went with Shaggy and Scooby. Velma went with Willow.
"All they ever talk about is how I'm a lesbian and they take all the credit for my work," Velma said.
"I know what it's like. I do all the research for the group but Buffy gets all the credit just because she beats the demon to a pulp."
"Beating to a pulp, removing a mask, it's all the same," Velma told willow.
"They act like we are useless," Shaggy griped to Xander.
"My gang is the same way with me. Just cause I'm not a witch or slayer they act like I can't do anything," Xander said.
"Witch…Slayer?" Shaggy said looking confused.
"Nevermind."
"I mean somebody has to remove the mask. Without me we would never find out who the demon really was. I'm the most important member of the group," Freddy said to Buffy. "I guess you know what that's like though."
"Yeah, without me they would all be dead."
"There's no one in your group that's like me. I'm just one of a kind," Daphne said. Secretly Buffy had just started to reminisce about when Cordelia was in the group.
A female vampire was taking a shower in one of the hotel rooms. She had robbed a hospital of some of its blood supply and was hiding out here. "I'm the slayer and I'm going to stake you," a woman on the other end of the shower curtain said. The woman opened the curtain and started stabbing her repeatedly with the stake until she finally hit her heart and dusted her.
"Man, I'm really stoned right now," Xander said. Shaggy had shared some of his pot with him. The old hotel was pretty big and all indoors so they were on the first floor while the others were on the second and third floors.
"Hey, heard something in there," Shaggy said. They entered a hotel room and saw what they thought was Buffy with her back to them.
"Buffy, what are you doing here?" Xander put his arm on her shoulder and turned her towards him. "You're not Buffy."
"Yes I am," the person, who was actually Spike, said.
"Spike, why are you wearing Buffy's clothes?" Xander asked.
"I'm not Spike. I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Spike said.
"Okay, we'll just check another room," Xander said as he left the room. He started giggling as soon as he left the hotel room. "Man, Buffy's gonna freak."
Willow and Velma were on the second floor when they heard several vampires around them. Willow looked back and realized that that there were several vampires behind them. Some also came out of the rooms in front of them.
"What do we do?" Velma asked.
"Guess I have no choice," Willow said as she cast a spell to shoot fireballs at the vampires. It didn't take long to clear them out.
"What did you do?" Velma asked.
"I'll explain later."
"Shit," Buffy said as she faced several vampires. "Stand back guys." She pulled out the stake and began to fight. After dusting the vampires they met back in the lobby.
"What was that?" Freddy asked. They just turned to dust.
"They were real vampires. It's my job to slay them." Buffy explained.
"How did you shoot out those fireballs?" Velma asked.
"I'm a witch," Willow said.
"Oh Buffy there's something you should know… um, actually I forget now but it was important," Xander said. The marijuana made him forget about the incident with Spike.
"Let's go home guys," Freddy said. "I guess we are all pretty important."
"Holy shit, he's loose," the prison guard screamed. He stared at the dead body of another guard and realized that the escaped prisoner was armed. The cell was open and the prisoner had escaped.