Seasons
Chapter 4: Tsuki
Tsuki.
The moon shone brightly against the ominous midnight blue of the sky. The light was an almost sickly yellow, but bright nonetheless.
Her lovely violet eyes soaked in the light. Dressed only in a thin dark purple nightgown, her white feet touched the cold cement of the balcony. The warm breeze washed over her and enveloped her. She almost flinched, but relaxed when the cold came back.
France was a lovely country, she decided, but it was a bit warm for her tastes. It was almost spring, though; that breeze was probably a prelude of what was to come. It was still winter, the cold, dreary season. The season she wanted to be.
They had died in the summer. Near the end, true but summer nonetheless. She remembered having felt a cold spell, then. It must have been an omen. It was almost a crime for them to die in the summer, the season of joy and happiness. The funny thing was, a month later, in September, the cherry tree was still in full bloom.
She was in Canada in October. In the fall, the dying season, and Eriol had found her then.
Eriol. She felt her mouth curve upwards at the thought. Eriol…
Her mind suddenly reeled with confusion. Eriol…her mind screamed at her. He's the one who's trying to take away your pain. You want to keep it…keep it…keep it…
But do I? Her heart's voice was but a whisper. Do I...?
+ + +
He awoke with a start. His chest heaved up and down as he took in long, shaky breaths. His hand reached up and wiped the thin film of sweat off his head.
Kaho…
He stood, hastily putting on a bathrobe, and went outside on his balcony. The moon was there, smiling, mocking. The familiar anger bubbled up inside him, and he closed his eyes, letting it wash over him.
After a while, his eyes opened. His ears began to fill with a faint melodious voice.
Quickly going inside and grabbing his glasses his keen eyes went to the left of his balcony. His eyes drank in the sight before him. Tomoyo was standing there; black hair streaming out behind her, her mouth opened just a bit, but the melody pouring out clear and strong. Her eyes were closed, and her body swayed with each resounding note. He could not help but notice that her nightgown set off her every curve to perfection.
Her eyes finally opened, and she looked to her right on instinct.
Her mouth opened once more as she saw the dark-haired man that stood watching her. Still she was more surprised when he turned quickly and went inside. In that brief instance, she had seen the glistening dampness on his cheeks and in his eyes. Tears.
She also went inside her room, debating whether or not to go to him or just stay in her room and sulk. But the look that was on his shiny eyes, the look of hurt and vulnerability drew her to him.
So she found her white bare feet leading to the bedroom Eriol had proclaimed his. Her already white hands turned even whiter as her knuckles rapped the large door sharply. She could hear a hurried rustling and a muttered curse that made her shapely lips curve upward involuntarily.
The door opened by her hands and she stood there, looking into the room. Eriol was also standing there, looking perfectly composed. "I didn't say you could come in," he said softly.
She looked back answering, "Who ever said I would listen to you?"
Then both at a loss of what to do, they stood, staring at each other. A thick book that lay on his dressing table caught her attention. He saw her eyes on that book, and as she went towards it curiously, he grasped her small fragile wrist. Startled, she turned. "Don't," was all she got from him and she saw him biting his lip. She almost laughed. Her habits were rubbing off on him. "Don't," he repeated. "Let me…Let me tell you a story. My story. And her story."
Her? She could feel her throat choke on the reference. "Her?" she echoed.
He gave a sad smile. "No. Not her. Kaho."
Kaho. She drew in a sharp breath. She had forgotten that she even existed. Their old math teacher, the one with the bell, the second chance… "Mizuki-sensei . . .how is she?"
His lips twisted and a light chuckle escaped from those lips. She was afraid of the bitterness in the sound. "She's dead Daidouji-san. So you see, that is how I understand your pain. Because I lost the one I loved."
In horror at this new revelation, she quickly interrupted, asking, "But…we…we were never informed or..."
"Sakura was," he cut in, his steel eyes locking hers in a stare. "She didn't want to tell any of you, because Kaho died of the same reason she knew she would die of."
Tomoyo wanted him to stop these words, to close her ears, but they were open, and she heard. She heard, all too clearly, and he didn't stop, couldn't stop.
"She…she asked to be cremated," his voice was quiet, but the silence of the night made it a thousand times louder. She could not read from his face what emotions were running through that mind, what thoughts…"And to have her remains scattered over the ocean."
Flashes of the places, they'd been to ran through her mind, and her heart opened with sudden understanding. None of the places where they'd been were near the ocean. He didn't want to stay in England, an island surrounded by ocean. Nor in Japan, islands surrounded by ocean. And now she wondered how he was so composed all the time. And through her experience with magic through Sakura, she realized why.
"You don't have to be brave for me, Hiiragizawa-san. Illusion must have a strain on your limited magic."
His blue, blue eyes widened and now he smiled, though only in his face. "I knew you were intelligent, Daidouji-san, as well as having sound instincts." He waved his hand in the air and the Illusion dropped.
His hair was now rumpled, and his eyes were red and puffy around the edges. His brow that once looked so serene was tormented with wrinkles. And yet, he did not look old, only vulnerable and small and insignificant, and her heart went out to him.
Her breath gave a hitch and she moved towards him slowly, enveloping him in a hug. He felt a sharp breath from him, but his arms went around her too, and she could feel his head in her hair. "Daidouji-san…" he began. "Don't think that I was being brave for you. I'm not that good. I'm selfish too you know. I…I have to put up this image for myself. Because if I don't…I'll remember that I loved her and that she's not here and she'll never be here."
"Hiiragizawa-san, don't say that. You are good. You're here with me, trying to help me, and all I'm doing is rejecting you," she could feel wetness on her cheeks, and she wasn't sure if they were hers or his, but it didn't matter.
He could say no more, but he could not stop. "I need to tell you why…"
"Eriol," and the shock of her saying his name did not register to him. "Eriol, you don't need to tell me why. Tell me tomorrow. For right now, I'll just hold you. And you hold me."
He did. And they cried the night away.
+ + +
She awoke with the sun shining full upon her on the face. She stretched and her arm touched against something warm and familiar. She started up, looking around. She wasn't in her own bed; rather, she was in Eriol's bed. She saw that the top of the sheets and the pillows were still damp from their tears. She touched her face. Her tears, their tears.
She looked beside her, at Eriol, who still slept soundly. He looked so calm and so sweet. Like a baby. She smiled and bent down to kiss that white forehead, his dark hair tickling her nose. My very best friend.
She rose from the bed and careful as to not wake him, she tiptoed out the room and went downstairs to go outside to smell the scent of flowers that mingled with the fresh crisp morning air.
+ + +
He awoke with the sun casting shadows upon his face. The sun was barely out of the mountains, the light still touching the tips of the brown peaks. He inhaled deeply and a different fragrance floated from the air into his nose. It wasn't unpleasant, and he racked his brain to figure out why it was slightly familiar. Next to him was the lightest of dents, and he finally figured out what it was. It was her smell. He breathed in again, catching the last fleeting fragrance and wondered where she could've gone.
He slightly remembered the night before, her tears and his tears. Their warm embrace, their exhaustion, and him crying out for her to stay with him… He flushed, thinking what a fool he must have made of himself.
But she had consented, and they tumbled onto the bed, promptly falling asleep. He didn't remember a time when he'd slept so soundly, without dreams, not even when he slept with… Kaho. But there was something healing about Tomoyo's embrace and her voice.
Hearing a bright laugh outside from his balcony, he rose and went to see. It was Spinel Sun in his true form romping and playing with Tomoyo. Tomoyo looked positively ecstatic, and he could hear Ruby Moon's voice in the distance, and he had to smile. Tomoyo looked up suddenly, as if aware of his presence. Her smile broadened and she waved. His smile widened, and he waved back.
My very best friend.
As the sun slowly came out into the sky, the moon sank lower, dipping into the mountains. But it was smiling nonetheless, and as it slowly disappeared, the sun arose, blazing with all its glory.
Tsuki.