Seasons
Chapter 5: Hoshi
Hoshi.
The stars were bright and sparkled against the night sky. The light that shone down was soothing, comforting. It was warm too, but that was probably just the fire that was cackling, burning in the fireplace in a bright display of oranges and reds.
She was staring at him; no, not quite staring, but just looking as he read from that big volume of a book. He was quite aware of it, and finally she voiced her question. "Why do you read from that book so much?"
As he put the book down, the fire reflected the words on the book. Magic. Death. She saw, and knew what was coming. Taking in a sharp breath, she wanted to stop her ears, stop her eyes. He smiled, a sad smile, and replied, "Because I myself am not satisfied about why they died." She shivered, knowing full well whom they were, wanting to deny. But his eyes had locked hers, and he shook his head. "I need to tell you. You need to know. We need to stop hiding. And you're ready. I know you are."
"But why tonight?" she asked, voice low and mellow in apprehension. Her evening gown was a beautiful deep blue, fingers spreading out the fluffy light layers in her lap. She was the perfect picture of a queen, black hair tumbling about her face in elegant curls.
Across from her, he sat, fingers flexing, eyes the color of dark sapphires hidden behind the glint of his glasses. "Why wait?" his voice too was low. A pause. "It's a lovely night."
She could almost hear the silent agreement from the stars. "Yes," she finally said, "it is."
Behind him, two figures stood, silent, hidden in the shadows, there, almost as though for support. "I hope," his voice suddenly had a strong note of concern. "I hope, your aren't still…cutting yourself?"
Her violet eyes softened at his worry, and shaking her head, "No Eriol-san. Of course not," her smile reassured him. She shuddered herself, remembering the red flow of the metallic smell of blood, and the glint of silver against white skin. "Of course not."
He smiled too, "Good." Another pause. "Do you want to hear this?" his voice was kind, gentle.
She opened her mouth to say no, but his compassion disarmed her and her lips formed the word, "Yes."
He sighed a long, long sigh, and she was almost afraid of what he was going to say. Before she could voice this, he began to speak his voice low and ominous. "Clow Reed, before he was a sorcerer, was a fortune teller in Hong Kong, before leaving for Japan. His gift for seeing into the future, naturally gave him an advantage in such an endeavor. Then, he created the Clow Cards."
"Why though?" she found herself asking.
Eriol smiled. "Because he could. He…found the power of the cards to be too large, though, and he himself could not sustain their power. So he sealed them away in a book and appointed his two companions--whom he loved dearly--to guard them. The last card, as you know, was the balancing card, The Void to balance out the yin and the yang. It was too powerful to be in the book, so he sealed that away in a different place. You had an encounter with The Void, I remember." She nodded. "I'm so sorry I couldn't…"
She interrupted. "Go on, Eriol-kun. Please." Mention of the Void brought back memories, painful and aching.
He gave her a measured look, not unkindly though, and continued. "He knew that he would someday die, and he…he was an extremely powerful sorcerer, so he decided to reincarnate himself into two people, one to keep his magic, and the other to raise his reincarnation's daughter. She was the one whom he decided would succeed him in becoming the most powerful sorcerer on Earth. He knew that his guardian, Yue, would never approve, so he appointed…Mizuki Kaho to give Sakura a second chance with the sacred bell."
Once again, she could not stop the questions that bubbled up inside her. "Why…why Mizuki-sensei?"
"Kaho…Kaho is…was," he could not stop that fleeting flash of pain, and Tomoyo regretted asking, "very magical. She was the daughter of the shrine keepers of the Tsukimine Jinja Shrine, and therefore had experience in dealing with fate and the like, and she had a suitable amount of power. Clow Reed found her very suitable to the means to was to put her, but…" Here he gave another long sigh. "There was one major flaw in his plan. He planned very carefully the time and the magic he was to put into the Clow Book until Sakura could maintain her own magic. He put a lot of his magic into the book, but not enough. The rest went into the bell, so she could have the chance…but there wasn't enough there either. So…" Here he stopped.
She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on.
"Anyway, Clow Reed didn't realize that his magic alone wasn't enough. When a person with magic loses his/her magic, they die, because the magic is so infused with their being. So when Clow died, I was reincarnated into being as the 11-year-old that you knew."
She took in a sharp breath, as if realizing for the first time, "How old are you Eriol-kun?"
He smiled, but shook his head. "I don't know. I…to pass the time, I read and learned and studied. I created Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, because," here he seemed a bit confused, "Well, when Clow Reed died, his magic was reincarnated to me, and not one ounce to Kinomoto-sensei. So I was in possession of a lot of magic to use to help Sakura, but still, I had much to spare. When my other half came into being, I watched and loved all of them. Nadeshiko-san, Sakura-san, and Touya-san. And you."
Her eyes kindled, and the unbidden tears began to rise.
"I was also charged to give the sacred bell, the bell for Sakura to have the second chance to Mizuki Kaho. Clow Reed knew that Yue would never consent to a so-called new master if he knew that Clow's magic existed still. That's why I couldn't give her the bell myself."
Tomoyo couldn't stop the next words that tumbled out of her mouth. "But…so…how did they…die?"
He bit his lower lip and relentlessly, to himself or Tomoyo, he didn't know, he spoke. "Clow died because his magic was gone and he just sort o...faded away. Kaho...Mizuki-sensei kept the bell; she was faithful and did what she was charged to do. But she didn't realize that Clow hadn't put in enough magic, as keen as her magical senses were, and the bell was slowly taking her magic away. Since she kept that bell close by, she wasn't affected until…when the bell disappeared, it took her magic with it, and it was then that she began to feel numb and tired."
Tomoyo wondered that he could keep so calm while talking about this remarkable woman that he had loved. "She must have been," her voice was cracking, "very, very brave."
He nodded, a bit wistful. "I noticed that her power was getting weaker and weaker, but she wouldn't let me know why, not until Sakura was done developing her powers. She hoped…she hoped that if Sakura had enough magic, that it wouldn't happen to her too. But…"
She now took a long breath, steeling herself for the next words.
"But when Sakura-san took in all this magic and turned the Cards into Sakura Cards, the Cards began to take the magic from her, because Clow's magic from the book was gone. It didn't help that she had to capture the Void. The Void took the most from her, because it was as powerful as all the Cards combined. Well, I didn't know any of this so I gave half my powers to Kinomoto-sensei, because I didn't want the burden of magic and went on with my life. By this time, Kaho was getting so weak, I finally pried the truth out from her," he took a shaky breath, trying to continue. "I contacted Sakura at once, you guys were 17, then, and told her and asked her if she was experiencing the same things. She hid nothing from me, though she tried. Remember when Kaho and I visited that summer, and we always seemed to disappear somewhere?"
She nodded, remembering all too well. It made sense now, why they were always talking in whispers, and if she or Syaoran came up, they would get quiet and overly cheerful.
"It was the next year that…that she died," his voice cracked slightly, and Tomoyo's heart ached even more for this man who must have loved so dearly. "She…I already told you right? She was cremated and her remains were scattered over the ocean." His eyes softened a bit. "She loved the water. I don't know why, but she loved it, the water, the ocean."
He paused a bit, looking at Tomoyo. She was surprisingly calm but he suspected that under that calm exterior, she was suffering. He couldn't stop himself. He needed to get this out. Or they would never heal. "Sakura…I told Sakura, and she came to the funeral, even though I told her not to. She knew her time was coming, and she didn't tell you guys, just tried to live life as it should be lived. And to love this life."
Tomoyo could feel the familiar anger rising again. "She should've told us! She…she shouldn't have put up that act of happiness so that we wouldn't be worried! She…" She didn't realize that a tear had fallen from her eyes.
"Tomoyo-san, she was happy. Don't you understand? She didn't do it just for you and the others. She did it for herself too," he said, praying, hoping that she would understand.
She struggled to keep her emotions in check, but her face contorted, and the tears now began to flow freely. "I…I don't know how you can stand it Eriol-kun," her voice was quiet and a bit muffled.
His brow furrowed, and he too, was beginning to feel what Tomoyo was apparently feeling. "I don't, Tomoyo. I can't. I…I just don't think about it."
She couldn't answer, because her now audible sobs wrecked her body. "I miss them, Eriol. I missed them so much."
He stood, and went over to her quickly, encircling his arms around her. "I know darling. I do too. I do too."
She could feel the dampness on the top of her head, like before, and she hated herself for being weak, hated herself for making him cry. "Don't cry, Eriol," her voice was euphonious still, even as the falling tears coarsened it.
She could feel him chuckle into her hair. "You're the one who's crying."
She pulled back, and now they stared at one another, dark violet and dark blue, shining. The same darkness that plagued their lives. The same light that they would each have to revive.
Tomoyo now spoke a thought that she had reflected through deeply. "Eriol-kun, I really don't know how you can do it. You're…well, this was supposed to be therapy," she smirked a little, but then more seriously, "You let go half your magic, your love, and S…Sakura-chan, and you've managed to accept it."
He shook his head sadly. "That's the thing. I didn't accept it. I knew that it couldn't be reversed or erased. I'm still searching for answers. I didn't want that burden of magic on me, so I let Kinomoto-sensei have it," he sighed a bit. "He's comforted through Nadeshiko-san."
"And Kero-chan and Yue-san and Yukito-san. Where…are they now?" she couldn't resist this question that burned in her mind since the funeral.
He blinked, and deliberated, but finally, "Keroberos-san is asleep in the Sakura Book waiting for a new Master."
"And Yue?" she prompted.
He now seemed angry, not at her, but at the circumstances. "He is being reborn. Yukito-san…I'm afraid he's gone. Unless, the new Master or Mistress of the Cards needs a companion like him. Touya-kun…he took it fairly well considering. Lover and sister in one day."
"But why me, Eriol-kun? Out of all the people that you could've chosen to reveal this to, why me?" she cocked her head, confused.
He too looked a bit perplexed, a look that suited him very well, she thought, and replied, "Tomoyo-san, we think alike, we're both connected to Sakura, and we both know about her magic."
She was a bit disappointed, and it showed; her features dampened a little, but she didn't know why. What did she expect anyway?
He saw, and smiled. By now, both their tears had stopped, and he was sitting on the arm of her chair. "You asked how I could accept it. It was because of you. You helped me keep some of my sanity. And because I wanted to be your friend."
It was a happy girl that embraced him.
Behind them, the shadows still playing on their features, the two guardians smiled.
Outside, the stars continued to twinkle, as though rejoicing too. The light of the stars never dimmed, even as the moon set, and the sun rose.
Hoshi.