Title: Was I Ever Loved By You?
Author: Audrey (booksmartbrilliance@msn.com)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Ginny Weasley has it all. Successful career woman, love interest of Harry Potter, the envy of her generation. Life can't get any better. Until something happens that brings everything crashing down around her and she's forced to look at life from a different angle.
A/N: *throws herself on the mercy of the reviewers* I'm sorry, so, so, sorry. Real life has been absolutely unbelievable. Not to mention that I slammed into a wall of writer's block. Yes! I get it too…ALL the time. I hereby announce Priya as a co-writer of this chapter. Without her it never would have gotten finished or be half as good.
Also, the draft of the letter is supposed to be strike-through at the underlined parts. I just couldn't get ff.net to accept it. So underline it is. Actually, underlining it opens a door for even more humor, doesn't it? Thanks ff.net!
Special Thanks to Becky For asking me and asking me and asking me and threatening me because you know where I sleep. Dani, I don't even know where to start. Thank you for everything! You're the ROXiest person I know. "What's all the hoopla?" indeed. Becca, you get even more story time . I loff Becca. Potty for Potter, thank you for your help and always being so sweet. Hannah, thanks for giving me more than one pep talks this Summer. You have no idea how much I needed them.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN – RESIGNATION
You kept me hanging on a string
While you make me cry
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies
I ain't trippin
I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do…
I'm such a fool
For you
I can't take it
What am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can't stop thinkin' of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you
Now love's a broken record that's
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we've got to play these games we play?
Stuck by Stacie Orrico
* * * * *
His wife? I stare blankly at her, unable to speak, even if I wanted to.
"Anna, what are you doing here?" Draco asks, his surprise turning into anger. "How did you get in?"
"Lexy let me in. Now, now, Draco, you don't look as nearly happy to see me as I had hoped."
"Happy to see you?" Draco says standing up and stepping towards her. I've never seen him this angry before. Well, not since our days at Hogwarts. He looks as if he's about to hex her into the carpet.
Anna doesn't seem phased by his reaction. "So, who is she? She's pretty."
Draco looks over at me, his face going slack. It's almost as if he's forgotten I was there. "Virginia…"
"You're married?" I ask, my voice breaking.
"Five years in June," Anna says, smiling pityingly at me.
"It's not what you think," Draco says, softly. "I can explain."
"Really?" Anna says, looking amused. "Tell me, Draco, is she a one night stand, or something more?"
"Anna, shut the bloody hell up," Draco says, his eyes not leaving mine.
"Oh!" Anna says, amused. "Something more. Tell me, darling, what does she have that I don't?"
I stand up and walk towards the door. It feels like someone else is guiding my footsteps, all I keep thinking over and over again is that this can't be happening. This is all some kind of nightmare, and I can't wake up.
"No….wait!" Draco says, stepping in front of me.
"Leaving so soon?" Anna asks from her towel. "I was just about to poison the tea."
"Virginia, listen to me…I should have told you…"
"You should have stayed dead," I say, swallowing to keep the tears back.
He steps back, a shocked look on his face, as if I've slapped him. I push past him into the hallway and begin to run the length of it to the front door. I swing it open and the second I'm able to disapparate, I do.
* * * * *
I can't go home.
I'm not ready to explain what just happened to myself, nevertheless Becca and Anya. I can't go to Colin's flat, as he's out on a date with Gregory Freeman. Ron and Hermione are no doubt doing some late night celebrating of his birthday, and there's no chance in hell I'm going to the Burrow. Merlin knows how horribly that turned out when I broke up with Harry. I'm not inflicting that kind of punishment on myself again. Mum would just tell me she warned me and then insist I move home immediately.
There's only one place left for the brokenhearted. The pub.
I sit at the bar, crying into my fourth Gin Gin, getting odd looks from the other patrons. The bartender, however, barely bats an eye, as he pours me another. He must see this all the time.
"You must see this all the time," I say, sniffing.
The bartender looks uncomfortable. "Well…not really. Normally I see some really bad pick up attempts, sometimes someone gets sick all over the floor but I've never seen anyone cry as much as you have." He paused, trying to manage a weak smile. "I've heard it's normal though…for people to cry in bars."
"Perfectly natural," I say nodding and trying not to look disappointed as he is called away to fill someone else's drink. I could really use someone to talk to right now, even if they are a complete stranger.
"Ginny?"
I turn around so fast I knock the drink over, spilling it all over myself. "Harry?"
Harry is standing beside me, a shot of clear liquid in his hand, a curious expression on his face. I look towards the ceiling and curse the fates. I would have preferred a stranger over Harry.
"What's the matter?" He asks, frowning down at me. "Your eyes are all red."
"Nothing," I say, mopping up the spilled drink with a napkin. "Nothing's the matter."
I'm not going to tell him if I can help it. He's going to have to pry it out of me. The last thing I need is for Harry to tell me "I told you so" as well.
"Liar," Harry says sitting beside me. "What are you doing here? I thought you and Draco would be…"
"Oh, Harry!" I say, slamming my head down on the bar. "He's married, he's bloody married!"
"W-what?" Harry says startled. "Malfoy's married?"
"Yes!" I say, lifting my head up to look at him. "For five years, to this blonde bombshell, and I've seen her. I knew I had seen her before, in the bar…before we started seeing one another. They were in a muggle bar together. I've been so stupid!"
"Hold on, Ginny, I don't know what you're saying. You knew he was married?"
"No, I didn't! I just found out. I wouldn't have gone with a married man! You know that!"
"I do," he says, putting a hand on my arm in an effort to calm me. I sigh then reach out and grab his shot of clear liquid as it's sitting in front of me and the bartender hasn't replenished my spilled drink yet. I down it in one gulp, caught off guard by the burn as it goes down. I cough and sputter, as Harry pats me on the back.
"What the hell is that?" I ask, motioning towards the empty shot glass.
"Veela Vodka," Harry says, trying not to smile as I recover from my coughing fit.
"What's wrong with me, Harry?" I ask, after I've finally caught my breath. "Do I have Idiot tattooed on my forehead or something?"
Harry smiles, "I thought it was a heart on your…"
"Harry!" I cry, hitting him on the shoulder. "I'm not joking. Why do I always want what I can't have? I want Draco, but he's married. I wanted you, and…well we know how that went. Don't we?"
Harry sighs, "Ginny, there's nothing wrong with you. You're amazing. The problem is finding someone that deserves you. I know I didn't. Malfoy certainly doesn't if he thought he could get away with this."
I sigh, blinking back another wave of tears. "What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you and Monet be off somewhere spoon feeding each other."
Harry laughs, "That was bad, wasn't it?" He takes a sip of his replenished shot. "She was just a bit intimidated, especially by you. She kind of went over the top."
"Intimidated by me?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Well…yeah, you are my ex-girlfriend. I guess she thought we had to act like a super couple or something to prove to you that we were perfectly happy."
"Are you perfectly happy?"
"Not at the moment," Harry says, taking another sip. "I'm hoping that we will be, eventually. Just…with other people."
"What are you saying?" I ask, frowning at him.
"We broke up tonight, after the party," He says, looking down at his now empty glass. "I think she really cares about me, but she cares about appearances even more. I just…I just can't handle that."
"Do you love her?" I ask.
"Love?" He asks looking up at me. "I do care for her, but I don't think its love."
"I don't believe in love anymore," I say. "If all love does is soften your heart up so that it can rip it out, I don't want any part of it."
Harry frowns, "Ginny, that doesn't sound like you."
"You're right; I sound smart for a change."
"Ginny," Harry says sternly, "you're going to be okay. You're much stronger than you think you are."
"Great, I'm strong," I say, sighing. "I'm so sick and tired of having to be strong. Can't I be weak for once and not be sorry for it. Can't you just look the other way and just let me lay down and die this time?"
"Ginny…"
"I mean, why do I have to be strong?" I ask, cutting him off. I realize my voice is a little too loud when other patrons look up at me, but I don't care. "Why can't something actually work out for me for once? When you broke up with me…it felt like my world was ending. I didn't know how I was going to live the rest of my life without you. But the world didn't end, and I did live without you. It was hard at first, but I managed. Then I met him and it felt like the world was just beginning. He believed in me, when no one else did, not even me. I saw me through his eyes and it felt like I was somebody. I wasn't Ron's sister, or Harry Potter's ex-girlfriend, I was…me. And for once in my life, I felt like that was enough."
Harry looks at me sadly, "That is enough, Ginny. More than enough."
I shake my head, as the tears start to spill over again. "No, it isn't. No matter how hard I try, or what I do, I'll never be enough. For anyone."
"Ginny, listen to me," Harry says, putting his hand on mine, causing me to look up at him. "I don't know much about relationships. You know that. What I do know is that you are a very special woman. You're strong, smart, funny, sweet and somewhere down the road, you're going to meet your match. When it's love, you won't have to try, or do anything. It will all just work out on its own. Everything just falls into place. Look at Hermione and Ron. I don't have a doubt in my mind that that is going to be forever. They were meant for each other. Still, that didn't stop them from wasting fifteen years denying it, did it? They had to be brought to a certain point before they were willing to admit that this is something that is out of their hands. Ginny, you can't choose who you fall in love with. If you have a choice it isn't love."
I say nothing, just stare at him.
Harry sighs, "Do you know what I'm most scared of?"
"Being alone," I say without hesitation.
Harry shakes his head. "No, it's not that. I've been alone my whole life, I know what that's like. I know what to do when something happens. I know how to handle myself. I know all the right answers when it comes to me. What I'm most afraid of is meeting someone and falling so hard that things get out of control. It scares the piss out of me to think that there is someone out there that I can't live without. I can't imagine being with someone and not knowing what's right around the bend. Not knowing whether or not they may just wake up one day and realize that I'm not who they thought I was. When we were together you taught me what real love was, what it meant to give everything to someone, and it scared me. It was alarming to suddenly have all this power over someone. It was frightening to think that someone could have that kind of power over me. You made me realize that I wasn't ready to be in love yet. I was still too scared to let go completely like that."
I stare at him, my drink half way up trying to swallow what he's just said. "Wait…you're scared of being in love?"
"Yes, terrified."
I pause before setting my drink down. "Stay that way. You've got it right, Harry. If you never give, you'll never get hurt."
"If I never give, Ginny, I'll never know what it's like to really be in love. And no matter how many times I tell myself I could care less about being in love, I do. Otherwise I would have proposed to you that night and lived out the rest of my life with someone I care deeply about, but someone I'm not in love with. What I'm trying to say is, you're one of the bravest people I know. You put yourself out there, you gave everything to me and then you did it again to someone else. That takes guts. Now you can either be a coward about things, the way I have. Tell yourself that it's not worth the risk, and never step out on the ledge again. Never fall again. Or you can keep on being brave, keep on believing that there is someone out there for you. The one person who will make everything worthwhile and will be there to catch you when you fall."
"That's the thing. Harry, I thought he was the one. I could feel it, every time we touched; every time he looked at me, every time I heard his voice…it was like coming home. I didn't think I could ever love anyone as much as I once loved you, but I was wrong. Harry I love him more. I didn't even know that was possible, but it is. So much it hurts. Even now, knowing what I know, there's a part of me that still loves him. I can't stop it, even if I had the strength to try. Then there's a part of me that hates him for making me love him. What sense does that make?"
"Perfect sense," Harry says, getting off the bar stool. "Come on, I think you've had enough. I'll take you home."
"No, I don't want to go home," I say, pushing his hand off. "I don't want to have to explain anything. Not yet."
Harry frowns at me. "Well, you can't stay here. You're about to fall off the stool as it is."
"Am not," I say, sitting up straight and loosing my balance. Harry manages to catch me before I topple to the ground. I laugh, though I really don't think it's funny. "Why do I need someone to catch me when you're here?"
"Come on," Harry says with a sigh. He puts me on my feet and takes my arm gently, pulling me towards the door.
"I told you," I say loudly, "I don't want to go home."
"You're not going home," Harry says, reproachfully as the bar patrons eye us. He leads me outside of the door and begins walking me down the street.
"Where am I going, then?" I ask, stumbling slightly. My legs don't seem to work properly.
"The only other place you can go right now," Harry says, frowning slightly. "You're going home with me."
* * * * *
The soft voices sound far away at first and all I can make out are the faint sounds of a whispered conversation.
"Never seen her like this…"
"Married? And I thought maybe he wasn't that bad…"
"…stay as long as she needs to…"
"…I'll try to talk to her…"
"…going to make that prat pay."
My eyes open at the sound of a shutting door and I take in my surroundings. I'm lying on Harry's couch, in the clothes I wore yesterday. Someone has tucked a blanket around me. My head is pounding and my throat is dry. For a moment I'm thoroughly confused and then the memory of last night comes falling down around me like a pile of bricks.
I groan as I bury my head in the cushions.
"Oh, you're awake," Hermione says, appearing beside me. She sits in a chair next to the couch, smiling weakly at me.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, frowning slightly.
Hermione doesn't answer right away, instead she takes a sip from a cup she's holding.
"Harry asked me to come," she says carefully. "He thought you might need a woman to talk to."
I say nothing as I look down and begin playing with a loose thread sticking out of the blanket. I sigh and look back up at her. "So he told you, then?"
"Yes," she says. "Ginny, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well," I say thickly, feeling the tears forming in the corner of my eyes. "I guess I should have known it wouldn't work out. Nothing ever works out when I'm involved."
"It's not your fault," Hermione says sternly. "It's his. You didn't know he was married."
"I should have," I say, my voice breaking. I shake my head and sniff as a tear slides down my cheek. "Oh, Hermione, I've been so stupid. I thought…I thought maybe everything really did happen for a reason. Maybe Harry and I didn't work out because I was meant to meet Draco."
Hermione sets down her cup and hands me a box of tissue.
"Pathetic, isn't it?" I ask, an angry edge to my voice. "There's no reason behind any of it. No fate, no greater plan, it's just hopeless."
"I know it feels like that now," Hermione says softly, "but you'll get through this."
I nod, "Of course I will. Of course. At least there aren't pictures of this break-up, right? I just need to resign myself to the fact that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm never going to have a husband, a family, or a house. I'm going to die an old maid, surrounded by cats."
"Ginny," Hermione says reproachfully, "you don't have a cat."
"Not yet," I say, sounding a little crazed as I sit up. "Not yet, I don't. That's when it starts, though. You get one and then before you know it you've got twenty seven and their all named Fluffy."
Hermione smiles slightly, "Really, Ginny, you're being ridiculous. Calm down. You're not going to die all alone."
"No," I say glumly. "I suppose the cats will be there."
"That's not what I mean," Hermione says exasperated. "You don't even like cats."
"Fine, I'll die surrounded by a hundred dogs then," I pause, frowning. "Draco hates puppies, did you know that? I should have seen it then. What kind of a person hates puppies? Evil bastard."
"Cats, dogs, dying alone…that's not the point," Hermione says, firmly. "The point is, what are you going to do now?"
I fall back on the couch and pull the thin blanket up over my head. "I'm going to back to bed."
"No," Hermione says, pulling the covers back. "Ginny, you've got to make a plan. This isn't an ordinary break up, you
know? He's your supervisor."
"No he isn't. I quit."
Hermione
blinks in surprise, "You're quitting?"
I swallow hard and nod, "Yes."
"But, Ginny, you love your job."
I blink back the tears. "I can't work with him, Hermione. I can't see his face every day. I just can't."
She gives me a sad nod and fetches a piece of parchment and a quill. "Alright, then. First thing, we'll write your resignation letter. How much notice do you want to give?"
"Notice?" I ask, bewildered. "I quit, I don't have to give notice."
Hermione frowns, "You have to give notice. It means that you've thought about things and you're not doing this in a moment of rash indecision. It's more professional. Plus, you quitting would leave the paper in trouble, which while a good thing as it affects Malfoy negatively, it can also have repercussions on other employees, like Colin. Do you really want to leave your staff empty handed like that?"
I sigh," Do you always have to be the voice of reason, Hermione? Can't you be the voice of emotional insanity, sometimes?"
"It's the right thing to do," Hermione says, giving me a small smile.
"I'm supposed to give six weeks. It's in my contract," I say, seeing the weeks looming ahead of me.
"Alright then, six weeks. Do you think you can make it?"
"I guess, I'll have to," I say, taking a deep breath.
"Alright, then. You dictate, I'll write." Hermione says, posing her quill above the paper and looking expectantly at me.
I
sit up, take a deep breath and begin.
"Dear Mr. Malfoy…"
An hour later, Hermione finally sets her pen down.
She hands the paper to me. "Well, I've edited it a bit, for professionalism's sake. I underlined the parts that would probably be best to leave out. All you have to do is recopy it and give it to him on Monday."
I read the finished product over.
Dear Mr. Malfoy,
I feel you are a lying bastard and that I can no longer see you or work at Witch Weekly. I can't stand to see your lying, cheating face. Therefore, I must quit for personal reasons.
1. You're a stupid wanker.
2. I hate you.
3. You hate puppies. What kind of evil bastard are you?
I should have known you were the same evil prat you were at Hogwarts. Once a Slytherin, always a bloody Slytherin.
This is my letter of resignation, I hereby give my six weeks notice as my contract states. That's almost to long to be around your pasty arse. Thank you for ripping my heart out and doing a little tap dance number on it and still taking the time to read this. I've gotten over Harry and I'll get over you. I shouldn't be too hard. You were dead to me once and you're dead to me again.
I'll take up no more of your time or your nights. I know you're very busy being married and cheating on your wife with daft, easily manipulated women who were stupid enough to think you were decent and not just another Malfoy.
The last four months have definitely been a learning experience. I still love you and the job, but I feel that given the circumstances I cannot continue to work in this environment. There's no way we can work out our differences. I'm taking the stapler and the blue mug in the break room as it's been mine for the last four years and I think I deserve at least that.
I will be returning your your bribe for my affections shortly, which in all reality seems to have only been a bonus for spending time with you. Merlin knows no woman in their right mind would spend time with you if they really knew you.
Sincerely,
Virginia Weasley
I look up at her and nod. "Thanks, Hermione. I'll give it to him first thing Monday morning."
* * * * *
I sigh as I unlock the door to my flat. With the help of a special potion Hermione mixed up for me to cure my hangover, and a couple of hours wandering Harry's flat and wondering how I'm going to tell everyone, I've worked up enough nerve to come home.
It's Friday afternoon and I've come to know Becca's schedule well enough that I know she's getting
ready for a night rehearsal. I'm not
disappointed as I find her practicing her lines on the sofa.
She smiles at me, patting the
sofa beside her. "There you are. So, how was last night? Tell me everything. You two looked pretty cozy."
"You don't want to know," I say collapsing into the couch beside her.
She frowns at me. "That bad?"
I nod, sighing as I pick up a Witch Weekly on the coffee table. I flip through it to the page with my name on it. I can't believe that in six weeks I'll no longer be the Editor. It doesn't seem real or fair.
I toss it across the room. Becca raises an eyebrow at me.
I sigh and explain the inevitable, "He's married."
"What?" she asks, repositioning herself on the couch so that she's directly facing me.
I nod.
"So you broke up?" she says slowly.
"No, Becca," I say, narrowing my eyes, "I'm perfectly fine with seeing a married man. I'm a modern woman, I have no morals. I have no feelings. I don't mind that he shares his name with another woman. In fact, I rather like the idea. It's sort of like a time-share arrangement. Except she gets the house and I get him," I pause, turning so that I'm facing her completely. "Of course we broke up!"
"Alright, then," she says getting up from the sofa, her eyebrows raised.
"Look, I'm sorry," I say, feeling my conscience prick me at the back of my mind. I push myself off the sofa and follow her into the kitchen. "I've had a rough day."
"No, don't feel bad," she says. "Look, he's a bastard. You need to forget about him and move on. And you most definitely do not need to call him back."
"Call him back?"
She frowns as she reaches by the phone and hands me five messages. All of them are from him, all wanting to talk. We both look up as there is a knock at the door.
"Oh, Merlin," I breathe, feeling my chest tighten. "What if it's him?"
Becca takes a deep breath and pats me on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Ginny. I'll take care of him."
"Becca," I hiss, "What are you going to do?"
"Give
him what he deserves," she says marching to the door.
"Becca,"
I cry out warningly. "Don't do anything
insane."
But it's too late, she's already opened the door and there is a gasp from the other side as she comes very close to kneeing Colin in the groin.
"Watch it!" Colin yells, stepping back.
"I'm so sorry!" Becca says, holding out a hand and laying it on his shoulder. "I thought you were Draco."
"Draco?" Colin asks confused as he looks past Becca and sees me hiding behind a fake plant in our living room. "Ginny!" he says, as if the mere sight of me has made him forget that Becca has just tried to impair his manhood. He walks toward me with a worried look on his face. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you all day!"
"Colin…" I say as I step out from behind the plant.
"Helen said you didn't come in today. Said you didn't call. Are you ill? You look like crap," he says, feeling my forehead to see if I'm feverish.
"No, I'm not sick, Colin."
"Oh, good," the worried look on his face disappears as it's replaced with a smile. "I have so much to tell you about last night and my date with Gregory. It went really well. First he…"
"Malfoy is married," Becca blurts out. She bites her lip and mouths an apology over Colin's head as she takes the seat next to the sofa.
"…took me to La Fontaine and then…" He pauses and blinks, turning to look at Becca and then at me. "He's what?"
"Married," I say, feeling my stomach drop. I wonder if I'm going to have to explain this to everyone I come across until everyone in the whole wide world knows.
"But…he…what?" Colin asks, his eyes wide. "Are you sure? Did you see a ring? What happened?"
"She came out of the bathroom…practically naked…and he asked her what she was doing there and…and…" I find myself fighting the tears again and I feel stupid. I wonder if I'm just going to have to print up greeting cards entitled "Why We Aren't Together Anymore" because I'm not sure if I can stand all this repeating and it seems everyone wants to know why. Not to mention that I can't stop bloody crying about it, which is just embarrassing.
He reaches out and hugs me, momentarily derailing my train of thought.. "Oh, Ginny, I'm sorry."
I
hug him back, feeling the tears spilling over again. It feels good to just be held by
someone. Harry was never much of a toucher and Hermione has always been about the level-headed
thinking. Colin, however, seems to sense
that I just need a shoulder to cry on.
He finally breaks our embrace and wipes away my tears.
"It's going to be okay," he
says in that voice of his that always seems to sound sure and cheerful no
matter what the situation is. "You're
going to get through this, and you're going to be stronger for it."
I stare at him not having the energy to nod and pretend I believe that.
There's a knock at the door and once again I look at the other two, panic written across my face.
"It might not be him," Becca says hopefully. "We thought it was him and it was Colin, right. Maybe it's Anya."
"Even if it is him," Colin says sternly while getting to his feet. "It's important that you two talk through your issues. You need closure."
"All, I need," I call after him as he makes his way to the door, "is for you to tell him I'm not home and close the door in his face."
"Is that what you want?" Colin asks, turning to look at me with his hand on the doorknob. The knocking is getting louder, much too insistent for an everyday visitor.
"Yes," I say from the couch. Of course that's what I want, isn't it?
Colin shrugs, "Alright, then."
He opens the door and I can hear Draco's voice travel down the hallway.
"Creevey, I need to talk to Virgin—"
There is loud smack and then a thud as something hits the
wall.
"She's not home," Colin says
cheerfully before shutting the door.
"Dammit, Creevey, I'm going to—"but his words are cut off as the door shuts in his face.
"Colin," I cry unbelievingly, as he walks back into the living room shaking his hand and wincing. "Did you just hit him?"
Colin nods enthusiastically, "I did. I took a non-verbal approach."
"Alright, Colin!" Becca says grinning from the counter. "Now that's what I call closure."
"Colin!" I cry as I push past him and open the door. Draco is standing in the hallway of our flat, holding his nose and looking positively annoyed.
He looks up at me, "He punched me in the nose!"
Now that I've seen that Colin hasn't drawn blood or anything, I feel the anger at him resurface. "You're lucky Becca didn't answer, she would have kicked you in the bullocks."
"We need to talk," he says wincing as he delicately touches his nose with his slender fingers. "Things aren't as bad as they seem."
"Oh, no?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. "You aren't married? That woman was delusional and just happened to be named after your ex?"
"Can I come in?" he asks, meeting my eyes, his face serious. "I'd like to explain if you'll let me."
"NO!" comes the chorus from Becca and Colin in the other room. Obviously they're listening.
"No," I echo, "you cannot come in."
He sighs, "Will you at least let me explain?"
"I don't think there's an explanation good enough," I say, breaking eye contact and looking down at his shoes.
"I didn't know she was going to be there. We're separated. We have been for six months now."
"Separated?" I ask, shaking my head and laughing softly. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I look up at him, my cheeks warm with shame and anger. "You lied to me."
"I never lied," he says firmly.
I look at him, unable to believe what I'm hearing. "Well you never bloody well told me you were married or separated or whatever the hell you two are! You never told me there was a Mrs. Malfoy!"
"You never asked," he says. There's something in his voice. If I didn't know him as well as I did, I wouldn't be able to single it out, but I can hear it there. Irritation. He's irritated with me? .
"I'm terribly sorry," I say, shaking, because I'm that angry. I'm tempted to deck him in the nose again. "I don't make a habit of asking my boyfriends if they're bloody married!" I step back in the flat and shut the door, but he stops the door with his foot.
"Virgina, stop. I didn't mean that."
"You didn't mean a lot of things."
"I meant it when I said I loved you."
"Yeah, I'm sure you meant it when you said it to Anna too."
He sighs, "Virginia. I want to be with you. I know, I should have told you. I tried, but…"
"But what?" I ask. I don't want to cry in front of him. Dammit, I won't.
"But I couldn't," he finishes frowning. "I didn't want to ruin this."
I give a short laugh, "Yeah, that plan worked well."
"I can't change that. This isn't the way I wanted you to find out," he says looking frustrated. "All I can do now is try to make it up to you."
"No, you didn't want me to find out at all. I'm just glad I found out who you were now, before it was too late. If you really want to make it up to me there's only one thing you can do," I say, my voice shaking and a tear sliding down my cheek despite the promise I had made to myself about not crying in front of him.
He reaches out to touch my face, but I move out of reach.
"What can I do?"
"You can leave me alone," I say, stomping on his foot. The moment he's removed it from it's spot in the doorway I shut the door. I stand there a moment, my forehead against the door and I can hear him cursing under his breath about his foot. I expect him to start knocking again, but after a few minutes and no sound I look out of the peep hole.
I turn around and see Becca and Colin watching me anxiously from the living room.
I sniff, heading towards the Kleenex as my seemingly endless supply of waterworks starts again. "He's gone."
* * * * *
"You'll be fine," Colin says squeezing my hand. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the letter I asked him to read before I turned it in. "Just remember be firm. Don't give in."
I take a deep breath and nod as I take the envelope from him. "Right, strong."
I turn from him and take two steps towards the door at the end of the hall. I stop and turn. "But what if…"
"Virginia Weasley," Colin says firmly, taking me by the shoulders and turning me around so that I'm facing the door. Colin stands behind me, the weight of his hands a comforting presence on my shoulders.
I close my eyes and sigh. "Colin, I can't. You saw what happened last night. I can't talk to him."
"Yes you can, Ginny," he whispers in my ear. "Don't let him talk you into anything. Go in there, give him your letter and leave. I'll be right outside the door and when you're finished we'll go to lunch like we always do. I'll even pay this time."
I give a short laugh, but it's only to cover up my fear. Fear that I'm going to walk in there and prove exactly how weak and pathetic I really am. Fear that I'm going to break down and cry, or worse swallow his excuses and take him back.
"Go on," Colin says softly. "I'll be right here."
"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "Here I go."
I don't move an inch.
"Then go," Colin says with a small smile as he pushes me gently towards the door. I lift up my hand, form it into a fist and knock. At the word, "Enter", I reach out my hand and open the door.
He's leaning back against his desk facing the door. Almost as if he's expecting me. He looks paler than usual and has dark circles under his eyes. It's strange but it doesn't make me feel any better to know he's loosing sleep too.
"Virginia," he says, "I…"
"Here," I say, cutting him off and striding towards him. I hold the envelope out to him but he doesn't take it."
"What is it?" he asks, looking not at the letter but directly at me.
"Take it," I say, shaking it slightly under his nose. "It's my resignation letter."
He stands up, his mouth half open in shock. "You're what?"
I sigh heavily. "My resignation letter," I say, repeating myself. "I'm giving my six weeks notice."
He reaches out, at first it seems to get the letter, but instead he grabs my arm.
"You can't quit," he says frowning down at me. "This magazine means too much to you for you to just walk away from it."
"It used to," I say, trying to pulling away from him. "Not anymore."
"You're being stupid about this," he says angrily. "If you would just stop feeling sorry for yourself and open your eyes you'd see that to walk away now would be wasting everything."
"Oh, I'm being daft now?" I ask, throwing the letter at him. "If I've been daft it was when I got involved with you. I should have known better. I should have walked away then, but I didn't. I was stupid. Incredibly stupid. Not anymore though. I'm walking away, as soon as you let go of my arm, and I'm not going to look back. You're not worth it."
"Bloody hell, I know I buggered things up between us," he says pulling me closer to him, his grip on my arm remaining firm and yet gentle. "I know how you feel. You're angry and you feel betrayed but it's not the end of the world. We could fix things. We could make things work. I've never felt this way about anyone and I'm afraid I'll never feel this way again. Anna and I are getting a divorce. I want to be with you."
"Let go of me," I say, trying to pull away because it's an excuse not to look him in the eye, or in the lips. Lips that are so close right now. "Colin's right outside."
"Was that a threat?" he asks, almost looking amused
"Well…yes," I say, making the mistake of looking up at him. He's wearing one of his smirks and for a moment it feels like the last twenty-four hours never happened. I stop in my struggle as I'm mesmerized by his lips.
"Wait a minute," he says, frowning. "You and Creevey aren't…"
"What?" I ask, breaking out of my trance. "Colin and I aren't what?"
His eyes darken. "Don't tell me that little git made a move on you when…" He pauses and looks down at me. "I'll kill him."
"Draco," I say getting frustrated. "Colin's –"
I'm interrupted as the door swings open.
"Right here, baby," he says beaming at me as he strides over.
"Colin?" I ask, completely lost.
"Ready, darling? We're going to be late for lunch," he says putting a hand on my bum.
"Colin!" I squeak, looking at him as if he's completely lost his mind.
Draco looks at both of us. "Creevey you little…"
Colin smiles at him. "It was all your doing, Malfoy. I wouldn't have had a chance with her if you hadn't…"
Draco lunges at Colin, but I manage to stop him.
"STOP IT!" I yell. I turn to Colin. "Both of you."
"I'm going to kill you, Creevey."
"Because I'm a Mudblood or because I'm with Virginia now? It's so hard to keep the death threats separate."
"We're not together!" I say, finally realizing what he's trying to do.
Colin grabs me around the waist, pulls me towards him and kisses me on the lips. He pulls back, winks at me and begins walking towards the door. "Not yet, darling. Ready for lunch? I'm starving. I'll wait for you by the stairs."
I'm so in shock that all I can do is watch him as he disappears out the door.
"He's fired," Draco says his voice low. "I want him out of here."
"You are such a hypocrite," I snap. "What happened to keeping personal and professional lives separate? The only reason you want him gone is because he…because he kissed me. If he goes, I go."
"You're already going," he says angrily. "Take your boyfriend with you."
"He's not my boyfriend. He's gay and I'm not quitting, I'm giving my six weeks notice. I've worked too hard on this magazine to see it fall apart in incapable hands. Six weeks should be enough time for me to train a replacement. Unless you're going to fire me too."
Draco blinks at me. "Gay?"
"Yes, gay," I say, picking up my resignation letter from the ground and putting it on his desk. "I'm going to lunch, unless you plan on firing both of us, in which case I'd like to know so I don't have to come back afterwards."
"I don't want you to quit on Witch Weekly or on us," he says softly. "I think that…"
"I think there's no other way," I say firmly. "Am I fired or not?"
"No," he says. "You're not fired."
"Good then," I say as I walk out the door, "see you after lunch."
* * * * *
"Colin Creevey, I could absolutely murder you for that!" I say over the noise of the busy restaurant as we wait for our check to be brought to us.
Colin chuckles. "I was listening through the door. I thought you could use some help and I remembered that you had told me Malfoy thought I was in love with you."
I shake my head, not believing that Colin kissed me in front of Draco.
"You almost got yourself fired," I said, reproachfully. "Not to mention decked when you put your hand on my bum. Don't surprise me like that."
He laughs, "That was great, wasn't it? And he can't fire me. I quit."
I choke on a bit of water I'm drinking. "What?"
"Yeah, Greg has offered me a position as his publicist. He's thinking about becoming a model." He shrugs and looks up at me. "Besides, without you there…it just won't be the same."
"I guess not," I say sadly.
"I still think you should have given him the rough draft version," he says with a grin. I liked the wording of that one much better. "I think you should frame it."
He pulls it out of his pocket and waves it around.
"Give me that," I say. "How did you get this?"
"I saw it on your desk," he says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
I open up the letter and frown, my eyes skimming over my neatest handwriting.
Dear Mr. Malfoy,
I feel that I can no longer work at Witch Weekly. Therefore, I must quit for personal reasons.
This is my letter of resignation, I hereby give my six weeks notice as my contract states. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I'll take up no more of your time. I know you're very busy.
The last four months have definitely been a learning experience. I still love the job, but I feel that given the circumstances I cannot continue to work in this environment. There's no way we can work out our differences. I'm taking the stapler and the blue mug in the break room as it's been mine for the last four years and I think I deserve at least that.
Sincerely,
Virginia Weasley
I look up at Colin, my heart sinking.
"Colin, this isn't the rough draft, this is the revised copy."
"What?" he asks, leaning over and reading the short letter. He winces, falling back in his chair with a sigh. "Bloody Hell, I must have given you the rough draft to give to him."
"Colin!" I say, wishing the ground would just open up and swallow me. Anything to put me out of my misery. I wonder if they have spells powerful enough to do that. I bury my head in my arms on the table suddenly remembering that Hermione had underlined the worst bits.
Colin frowns as the waitress brings over the check. He gives me an appraising look and turns towards her. "We're going to need dessert this time," he says, reaching out to pat my arm. "Something with lots and lots of chocolate."
* * * * *
A/N: Please review! They motivate me so. So do people IMing me to ask when the next chapter is. Though I hate to tell them I'm still working on it. Thanks to ferretsbabe for putting me in my place. ;)
So many reviews to respond too. Buckle in, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
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vanns, Lioness-07863, Fairly Fiendish, Serepidia, VoldemortsIllegitimateChild, Darcela, CrystalBlue, Yuki Arashi, PotterzGirl, Steph, prexus, kneh13, Silver Essence, crazy eyes, Isadora, Organized mess, Xela!, FyreFaerieGinny, ChocolateMuse, Sokorra Lewis, Lizzie, aligiswickid, Clairvoyance, Dashara, Robyn Maddison, Veronica, Guidance Lune, BloodOfAReptile, ShortySC22, Monica, em621, hpdancer92, fierydragon1, benaldi (you dork), Wizzabee, BlondPriness, RonWeasley1975, Sasami, *~~DesiGemini6089~~*, fire-sprite16, Aly, Archana, Denise,dragionfire, Kim, FlavOftheweek, Luna, Luna Grace Corrona, Teryn, Tiny Q, depth, xi-swt-tearz-ix, antithetical, Mrs. Alfred, Auri, Tara-Yo, Ranting Idiot, Baby, Bfly, Shae-Goddess, WantingGravity, anon, Sara-Wackadoo, seekerpeeker, Aibi, Teddybear8, ANON (again?), killtheposeurs, and Elizabeth … Thank you guys so much for leaving a review for me. You have no idea how much they make my day.
Heather Thank you so much for your review. It cracked me up so much. It was a good guess though. Anya was a request made by my friend Becca who I promised a cameo appearance. She loves Buffy, as do I, and we tried to fit in a little reference. Honestly, I had never considered your idea, though it would have been an awesome twist. Maybe I'll have to write an AU fic sometime using it.
Lola Lola! I hope you're still hanging in there with me. You were my first reviewer. Thanks for sticking with the story.
Cassi0pia Thanks for your brilliant review as usual. The roommate search was much fun to write. I didn't think of that line as foreshadowing when I wrote it, but yeah…I'll take the credit for thinking being subtle and sneaky when I really wasn't.
Lady Laughs-A-Lot Bridget Jones Diary does have a very, very, very big influence on this story. It was actually the inspiration. Though I actually got the idea for this twist from an excellent Gweneth Paltrow movie called Sliding Doors. If you haven't checked it out, do! It's awesome.
BrilliantGinnyDracoshippe Yes, I think I can safely say that you write the longest reviews…ever. Which I love you for. : ) Thank you! And sometimes I wonder if the story will ever end also. It will though. Next chapter is the last.
Voyagerfan2004 Ah, I love Colin too!
Marina Peal LOL, I hope that I didn't cause you too much grief at work.
Ambrosine Yes about the divorce…about the H/G…I can't say I haven't thought about it. Even if it was briefly. : )
Potty for Potter Thanks for always helping me through difficult spots and leaving a review. You ROX!
Shannon I love the song bit too. Though, sometimes it's hard to find one that fits perfectly.
Tesa Thank you so much for the compliment. Actually, my friend Priya is a film student and she felt the same way. We're in the process of trying to convert it into a screenplay but in original form, not fan fiction. You have no idea how much your review encouraged us! Thank you! And you're right about Monet.
Ickleronnikins Abba is da bomb! I'm so glad you loved the last chapter. I hold your opinion so high. You did teach me everything I know, after all. I hope this one isn't too much of a disappointment. I wanted to show you SO MANY times!!!!! : )
Lorraine7 Thank you so much for the review. Monique is overdone…but so funny.
Ravyn Nyte Ha! I thought I was the only one that said 'merde' in place of it's meaning. : )
Priya You practically help me write everything, you're making my dream come true and review. I love, love, love you!
Kaitlyn You've been heard loud and clear. : ) Thanks for not giving up on me.
Fire_wyrm Thank you so much for your review, it really made my day and believe it or not did spur me on to writing. Thanks!
Delylah You're right. Draco is out of character. I love him though. Thanks for that bit of constructive criticism. I really appreciate it. And that's not meant to be sarcastic, even if it may sound that way.