Title: Was I Ever Loved By You?

Author: Audrey (booksmartbrilliance@msn.com)

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary: Ginny Weasley has it all. Successful career woman, love interest of Harry Potter, the envy of her generation. Life can't get any better. Until something happens that brings everything crashing down around her and she's forced to look at life from a different angle.

A/N: Alright, alright.  So I said there would be one more chapter.  Except I currently have 27 pages and I'm suffering a terrible bout of lack-of-inspiration for the ending.  IT WILL HAPPEN.  No worries.  But, as it is Christmas and I have the best reviewers that any author could ask for, reviewers with a well of patience I'm very grateful for,  I'm cutting the last chapter in half and making it two.  This is the first part.  Second and final part will be coming shortly.  Promise! 

One more note.  It's not obvious in this installment that this is actually five weeks after the previous chapter, but it is.  Draco's reaction to the letter will be discussed more in the next and final part.  Thanks!

Special Thanks To everyone who has been with me for the year and more that I've been writing and loving this story.  To my reviewers who refuse to let me forget they're waiting for the next installment, thank you infinity.  To Becca who is always there to talk me through things and be brutally honest.  To Mantha who gave me the warm and fuzzies with her support and help.  To Becky, who gave me the eye bit…yes you're right it is hilarious.  To Dani who is always there to read my writings even when she's dead tired and who always gives me encouragement.  To Priya who is a saint among saints.  Thank you guys!

CHAPTER FOURTEEN – MIXED SIGNALS

Bells will ring and the sun is gonna shine

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be his, he's gonna be mine

We're gonna love until the end of time,

And we'll never be lonely anymore.

Because we're goin' to the chapel

And we're gonna get married,

Goin' to the chapel

And we're gonna get married,

Gee, I really love you,

And we're gonna get married,

Goin' to the chapel of love,

Chapel of Love by Bette Midler

* * * * *

It's a regular night at the pub when I finally arrive.  The place is crowded with women laughing, men talking loudly and music blaring.  I spot Harry and Ron towards the back, laughing hysterically over some unknown joke.

I smile as I'm reminded of many a night of spotting them laughing over a joke in the Gryffindor Common Room.  I wonder if some things never change.  When it comes to life long friendship, I hope not. 

Harry and I had made our peace back at Christmas, and shortly after Ron began seeing Hermione she made sure that he and Harry made up.

"Oy, Ginny!" Ron calls, waving me over, despite the fact that I'm practically at their table already.  "Have a seat."

I slide in the booth beside Harry who gives me a welcoming smile. 

"How was the shower?" he asks, taking a sip of what I recognize to be Veela Vodka.  I wonder if that's his drink of late.

"Horrible," I say, waving the waitress over and ordering a Gin Gin.  "Karen's mum argued for what seemed hours with mum about the proper way of making curry.  Fleur bought Karen the kinkiest lingerie I've ever seen.  It was all leather, she said something about Charlie appreciating it because he's into dragons."

Harry snorts, while Ron's eyes grow wide.

"Really?"  Ron asks, leaning over the table.  "What did it look like?"

"Ron, really," I say rolling my eyes.  The waitress puts the Gin Gin down in front of me and I take a sip.  "So what were the two of you laughing about?"

"Mal—"  Ron begins but Harry cuts him off.

"Nothing, just talking.  How's work going?  Next week is your last week, right?"

I look from Ron to Harry.  Ron's looking down at his drink and grinning.  Harry's giving me a curious look, but a smile is playing at the edge of his lips.

 "Yes," I say.  "Luna said I could take a week or two off before I start at The Quibbler.  Come on, what are you two up to?"

"I can't believe you're going to write for them," Ron says, ignoring my question.  "They're no better than a tabloid.  Ever since Luna took over they've been even crazier than they were when it was under her father."

I sigh, "A job is a job."

Yeah, but I swear last week I read an article on deadly Leprechauns attacking East London in it."

Harry laughs, 'So you read it then?"

Ron's ears turn slightly red.  "Well…sometimes.  If I'm in the loo and it's either that or one of Hermione's bridal magazines.  There's no question, at least The Quibbler is entertaining."

"Bridal magazines?"  I ask, putting my Gin-Gin down.  "Why does she have bridal magazines?"
"Hell if I know," Ron says, finishing off his drink.  "I think she likes them for the perfume samples or something.  All I know is this wedding has got her crazy.  Everywhere I look she has bridal magazines lying about and the other night we were walking home from dinner and she dragged me into a Bridal Shop.  She's driving me mad."

I'm staring at Ron, my mouth open.  I look over at Harry who has also gotten very quiet.  He gives me a meaningful look.

Ron pauses in setting his drink and looks at us strangely.  "What?"

"Er…Ron," Harry says.  "Don't panic, alright?"

"Panic?"  Ron asks, beginning to panic.  "What?  What is it?"

I take a deep breath.  "Ron, she's trying to…tell you something."

"What?" he asks, frowning at me.  "I don't understand."

"I didn't either," Harry said, looking at me. 

"Ron," I say reaching out and taking his hand.  "She's trying to tell you she's ready to take things to the next level."

"Next level?" Ron says, scrunching his forehead in concentration.  "She wants to move to a bigger apartment."

Harry sighs.  "Ron, she wants you to propose."

"WHAT?"  Ron asks, looking at us wildly.  "What?  Why?  Are you sure?  Why would she want to do that?"

"I'm not sure," I say, leaning back in my chair.  "Maybe she loves you.  Maybe she wants to spend the rest of her life with you."

"Maybe she's insane," Harry offers, raising his eyebrows in an agitated Ron's direction.

 "Why would she want to ruin a good thing?  Things are going so good right now," Ron says running his fingers through his hair.  "I don't understand."

"Women are just hard to understand," Harry says, shaking his head sadly.  He meets my eye and smiles. "Present company excluded."

"Oh, so now I'm simple?" I say, pretending to be hurt.

"You're anything but that," Harry says giving me small smile.

"What am I going to do?"  Ron asks, looking at us, panic clearly in his eyes.

"Ron," I say, turning away from Harry's slightly disarming smile and trying to be serious once again.  "You have to tell her how you feel.  Even if it's not what she wants to hear."  I avoid meeting Harry's eye.  "It's the right thing to do."

"But first," Harry says, waving the waitress over. "You should have a little more to drink.  It will make things easier."

"I'm not so sure about that," I say, as the waitress brings a golden shot of liquid over at Harry's request.

"Trust me," Harry says, pushing it in front of Ron.  "Oh, and Ron, before you say anything to her…hide your broom."

* * * * *

"Well this certainly made things easier, didn't it?" I ask over Ron's head.

I hear Harry sigh.  "Well…"

"Trust me, you said.  And I did…the way I always did.  You'd think I would have learned by now…"

"Ginny…"

"WHY?  WHY IS SHE DOING THIS TO US?"

I wince as Ron has just screamed this in my ear.  He is stumbling between Harry and I as we walk to the curb. 
"Why don't you calm down?" I snap at Ron. "We're sober, we're not deaf."

Harry detaches himself momentarily to hail a cab as Ron is too far gone to Disapparate without splinching himself. 

"I'm too young to get married," Ron says, leaning on me and making my left arm go numb from trying to hold him up.

"Ron, you're twenty seven years old.  You're not too young.  In a couple of years you'll be considered a life long bachelor."  I sigh and look him in the eyes.  I haven't seen him in such bad shape since the Cannons lost to the Turkish Dervishes in 1999.  "It's not a question of age," I say in a softer tone.  "It's a matter of whether or not you love her enough to spend your life with her.  Do you love her?"

 "Yeah, but I'm just not ready.  Do you think I'm ready?  I don't think I'm ready."

"I don't know, only you know that, Ron."

Harry returns and helps me get Ron into the cab.  I get in with him to make sure he gets home alright.  I expect Harry to say his goodbyes, but he gets in the cab with us and gives him the address to Hermione's apartment.

I lean back and give him a questioning look over Ron's form between us. 

He shrugs, "I kind of wanted to talk to you…alone.  If that's okay."

"Sure," I say, wondering what this is all about.  "Everything okay?"

"It bloody well isn't.  She wants to get married," Ron mumbles, putting his head in his hands.  "I can't believe she thinks…well, I'm not about to let her…has she lost her bloody mind?"

He sits up straight suddenly, whacking his tall head on the roof of the cab.

I wince sympathetically, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"What if…what if she breaks up with me?"  He turns and looks accusingly at me.  "The way you broke up with Harry."

I open my mouth, but Harry cuts me off.  "No, that was different, Ron.  I broke up with Ginny, because I thought it was wrong for us to be together when I knew I wasn't ready for marriage.  She deserved better than someone who was stringing her along."

"Oh, right," Ron says darkly, looking at Harry as if he's going to throw him out of the cab.  "What if she thinks I'm stringing her along, though?"

"Are you?" I ask. 

"Of course not.  I love her.  I just…marriage?  With fights and kids and…sheep cheese dinners?"

"You love her, you just don't know if you're ready for marriage.  She loves you.  Now you just have to see if she's willing to wait until you're ready.  That's the long and short of it, Ron.  You've made your decision, now she has to make hers.  Whatever happens, it doesn't mean you don't love one another.  People can be apart and still love one another just as much, or even more as when they were together.  Just, some things aren't meant to be."

There's a moment of shocked silence after my speech in which the cab comes to a stand still in front of Hermione's apartment.  Harry opens the door and Ron follows, leaving me to pay the fare.  I sigh as I dig through my purse, almost paying the cabbie a galleon rather than muggle money because I'm so distracted.  I get out of the cab to see Ron throwing a rock up at one of the darkened windows on the second floor of the apartment building.

"Ron, what are you doing?" I ask.

"He left his keys at the pub," Harry says with a sigh.  "He's locked out."

I watch as Ron picks up another rock and throws it at her window, missing by a good twenty feet.  There's the sound of breaking glass as it goes through her neighbor's window instead.

"Right, then," Harry says, grimly.  "I guess I'll be apparating to the pub to get the keys.  Be right back."

I nod as he pop out of sight.  "Ron, stop it!" I hiss, as he chunks another rock up at the window.

"Ron Weasley are you insa---Oww!  My eye!"  Hermione appears at the window holding a hand over her eye gingerly.  "What are you doing?"

She sounds angry. 

"He forgot his keys," I say in an effort to help.

"What am I doing?" Ron bellows, his ears turning red.  The apartment building looks like a huge switchboard as lights that were once off are now coming on.  "What do you think you're doing?  I know what you're trying to do!  Did you think I wouldn't catch on?  Did you think I was daft.  Thought you'd trick me into it?"

"Ron!" I say, reaching out to hold him back as if the physical act will somehow shut him up.  Neighbors are coming to their windows to watch the spectacle, many of them in their robes.  I never understand how things can go from bad to horrible so quickly.  

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asks, looking taken aback. 

"YOU!  I'm talking about you trying to get me to MARRY YOU!"

"WHAT?" Hermione screams down at him.  "Are you drunk?"

"So what if I am?  It doesn't change the fact that you tried to trick me into marrying you.  Trying to put ideas in my head by leaving around your sodding magazines and dragging me into bloody bridal shops?  I'm not ready!  I love you, but I'm not ready!  Don't push me!"

"Shut the bloody hell up!"  Yells the man who lives above Hermione.  "Some of us are trying to get some sleep around here.  Do you want me to call the cops?"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione says angrily, ignoring the man above her.  "I'm not trying to trick you into anything.  Marriage?  We've only been living together for three months.  I'm still trying to get used to the fact that you leave your dirty socks on the floor!"

She looks to me for an explanation and I can practically see the light bulb coming on inside her head.  One thing you won't ever be able to say about Hermione is that she can't put two and two together.

"Oh, Merlin," she says.  "You thought…you thought I wanted you to propose because Ginny told you about the magazines and bridal shop and…"  She pauses, leaning out the window.  "Ron, the bridal magazines are for hair style ideas…for the wedding.  And we went into that bridal shop the other day so that I could pick up Karen's veil.  Remember?  We gave it to Molly later?  I wasn't trying to…I mean, I'd never…"

I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.  Poor Ron has been going through hell all night long because Harry and I jumped to a conclusion.

Ron doesn't seem quite convinced.  "But the other day…you asked me what I thought about the name Henrietta for a girl!  You said "How'd you like to have a little girl named Henrietta?"

"Ron," Hermione says as if she can't believe she's having this conversation with her drunken boyfriend through her open window.  "I was joking.  It's a horrible name!" 

"Hey!  That's my mum's name!"  All of us look up to see the man above Hermione glare down at us.  "That's it.  I'm calling the cops."

"Ron, get up here," Hermione hisses as the man disappears from his window.  "I don't want to marry you, alright?"

There's a pop as Harry appears next to me, keys in hand.  He looks up and spots Hermione looking down at us.  "What I'd miss?" he asks, "And why is Hermione holding her eye like that."

Ron seems to think for a moment, just staring up at her.  "Why not?" he asks, sounding not a little hurt.  "Why don't you want to marry me?"

"RON WEASLEY, ARE YOU MAD?"  Hermione screams.  "First you don't want to marry me and now you want to know why I don't want to marry you?"

"Well, yeah!"  Ron yells up at her. "Why not?  I mean, we could work.  We love each other right?  So what if I leave my dirty socks on the floor?  You're no picnic either.  You write Christmas cards in June!  And you'd rather read a book than watch a Quidditch game on the wireless.  Poetry at that!  That's no reason for me to say I don't want to marry you.  I do…I just want to have a little fun before I get the old ball and chain.  But if you're just going to string me along…"

I hear Harry sigh beside me.  "This isn't going to be pretty," he whispers.  "She's getting that look."

Harry's right, Hermione looks positively enraged.

"Ron Weasley, you insufferable prat!  I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth," Hermione says.  "You come home drunk, you hit me with a rock, you accuse me of trying to trick you into marrying you and now you say that you do want to get married but only after having more fun?  Then you have the nerve to call me a heartless tart who's just trying to string you along?"  She makes a frustrated sound and disappears from the window. 

"That's right, you don't need him!"  Comes the voice of a woman from the apartment two windows over.

"Ron," I say frowning at him.  "Now you've done it!  She's never coming back to the window now."

Ron frowns, then takes a deep breath and draws himself up to his full height.  In the loudest voice he can muster he speaks in a sing-songy voice that I've never heard from him before.  Then again, I've never heard him repeat poetry before.

"She walks in beauty, like the night,

Of cloudless climes and starry skies:

And all that's best of dark and bright…"

Hermione appears at the window, her mouth open in shock.

"Meet in her aspect and in her eyes…"

"Ron…" she begins, her voice so soft I can barely hear it.

"You didn't let me finish," he says.  "I do want to marry you.  I thought I wasn't ready, I thought it would ruin everything.  But…it doesn't really matter.  I mean whether it's now or in a couple of years, there's no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with.  I love you, Hermione.  I want to marry you."

"I called the cops, they're on their way!" the man says appearing again up at his window.

Hermione is staring down at all of us, though I think the only person she can see right now is Ron.  "Ron," she says, her voice cracking.  She seems to be crying, but by the smile on her face it's the good kind.  "Get up here, you prat."

"I'm not coming up there until you say you'll marry me," Ron shouts up at her, a huge grin plastered to his face.  Beside me I can hear Harry take in a breath and hold it, much like I must be doing myself. 

"SAY YES," yells the same woman who a minute ago told Hermione she didn't need him.

"Yes," Hermione says in the same voice that barely carries to us below.  "YES!"

Ron laughs, and runs for the front door of the apartment building, stumbling slightly.  I reach out to catch him, even though I'm too far away to help.

"He's alright," Harry says, laughing beside me.  "He's fine."

He's right.  Ron scrambles to his feet and goes to open the door, only to find it locked.  He runs back to his former position on the sidewalk and yells up at Hermione's still open window.

"Oy, Hermione!  I'm locked out, let me in, will you?"

The door to the apartment building opens, showing a Hermione in her robe.  Ron makes a mad dash for her, grabs her around the waist and kisses her.  Some of the neighbors are shaking their heads and closing their windows, some are clapping, the woman is cheering.

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!"  Ron yells at Harry and me. 

"Good!  Maybe now we can get some bloody sleep," says the man above us as he slams his window shut.

Hermione smiles at us, a black eye forming where she was hit with the rock, as she pulls Ron inside and shuts the door.

Harry and I stand in shock a moment before he clears his throat, Ron's keys dangling from his fingers.

"Well…"

"I don't believe it!" I say, turning to him.  "They…they just got engaged.  Ron and Hermione…and he was fall down drunk…"

"He'd have to be to recite poetry," Harry says.

I laugh, suddenly remembering Christmas.  "He really is hopeless, isn't he?" I say looking up at Harry.  "Completely, utterly, absolutely hopeless."

"I'd say so," Harry says giving me a soft smile. 

I return his smile, warmth flooding through me.  I can't believe Ron actually did it.  Ron?  He'd better remember this in the morning.

"Ginny, I…" he pauses, tilting his head slightly so that the lamplight glints off his glasses.

"Yes?" I ask, wondering why he's acting so strangely.  "Oh, right, you wanted to tell me something.  What was it?"  When he doesn't answer right away, I speak to cover up the awkward silence.  "We really should leave before the police show up and arrest us for disturbing the peace."

He opens his mouth to speak, pauses, and then with a look of determination that only Harry Potter can have, he bends down and brushes his lips against mine.

It's a soft kiss, not much different from our first kiss, which seems like it was forever ago.  He pulls away and looks at me, his eyes searching out my own.  For a moment I'm too shocked to speak at all, then I take a deep breath. "Harry…"

He shakes his head sadly, "I know.  I just…you looked so happy and I…"

"It's just that I don't think…" I say interrupting him.  "I mean…I'm not really…"

"Over him," Harry finishes for me.

"Yes," I say with a sigh of relief.  My head snaps up.  "What?  No!  That's not it."

"Isn't it?" Harry asks giving me a knowing smile.  "You still love him."

"No, I don't," I say weakly. 

"People can be apart and still love one another just as much, or even more as when they were together," Harry says effectively using my words against me. 

"Stop it," I say, feeling panic and anger surge through me.  "What would you know about it?  You've never been in love, you said so yourself."

"I did say that," Harry says sighing softly.  He looks up at me.  "I think I was wrong though.  I think…I think I didn't want to let myself be free to be in love.  I thought I'd hurt you.  I know what it feels like now…to love someone, even when you aren't together anymore."

I close my eyes and sigh, "This is just great, Harry.  Now you're telling me you're in love with me?  Now?  After this last year?  Has it ever occurred to you that it might be too late?"

He nods, "It is too late.  You love him now."

"Stop saying that!  I don't love him.  He's a stupid prat.  He's a bastard.  And after next week, I'll never have to see his face again."

"Ginny…"

"Oh, shove it, Harry!  I'm going home," I snap, walking into the cover of the alley to disapparate.

"Ginny," Harry calls after me, but upon entering the alley something in the way I look must make him think better of things.  "Goodnight…" he finishes lamely.

"Goodnight, Harry," I say tersely before disapparating to the relative safety of my flat.

As I throw myself into bed, I can't help but replay Harry's words in my head. 

"You love him now." 

That's insane.  How can you love someone you're not even seeing?  Someone who lied to you?  Someone who used you?  Someone like him?

Of course I don't love him.

Much.

Any more.

I love him a little less everyday.  It may take me years, but someday…I'm going to wake up and not love him at all.

I sigh and turn off the light.  Instead of making me feel better, the thought just makes me feel hollow.

* * * * *

A/N: Alright, so the song was a bit misleading.  Though not completely…because one pairing is getting married, though maybe not the one the majority of you were hoping for.  No matter though, I love my Herm and Ron.  No worries!  I adore my Ginny/Draco.

Stay tuned for the final installment.  Lots of Draco to make up for the lack of it in this chapter, a Weasley wedding, a horrible bridesmaid's dress unleashed and the answer to the question on everyone's mind…

Loads of thanks and Christmas wishes to my faithful reviewers!

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Trixie Guest, thank you so much for your review, it really, really encouraged me.