"Trap Master"
[Warrior / Effect] FLIP: Destroys 1 Trap Card on the field. If this cards's target is face-down, flip it face-up. If the card is a Trap Card, it is destroyed. If not, it is returned to it's face-down position. The flipped cared is not activated.
=====
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Double shit times three.
He didn't have a name, so I gave him one. That's cool.
But weird. Like a lot of other stuff he does.
But with Dark, a lot of stuff's weird. I've watched him a couple times when I come to visit. Just stand in the doorway until someone points out where he's hiding. He's good at that. Even with the wild hair. You'd think someone would notice a short kid with multicolored pineapple shaped hair. But they don't seem to notice Dark. Dark'll sit under a table or in a corner, sometimes he'll even hide in supply closets. Most of the time, though, he's huddled in a ball in his room.
Why do these freaks think that's normal? Haven't they seen him sometimes? When he's awake? You can't tell me someone hasn't noticed. He's really smart, but in a weird sort of way. (Weird, of course, being the Dark way of life) Give him a game, any game, and just let him watch a couple rounds. In those few rounds he can figure out the basic rules, basic strategies, and give you a few pointers you'd never even thought of.
Like when Grim taught him chess.
Don't know what Grim's real name is. Doesn't matter. The guy's a chess master, a for real chess master, not just someone really good at it. Me and Dark watched him play a few rounds with his niece in the children's ward. Kid was good, but not as good as her uncle. Dark started to point out a few moves for her. She won the game. And the next one with Dark's help. Grim told Dark to cut the shit and sit down and play directly.
So he did.
And Grim lost every freaking game they played. Grim's happy in a real pissy sort of way to have a partner to play with.
That's the way Dark's smart. In a game sort of way. Unexpected strategies, risks that always pay off, a weird combo of sharp logic and fluid intuition. But he's also an idiot. His idea of escape is running like a bat out of hell straight for the door. No wonder they catch him every time. You'd think he'd learn how to say what they wanted to hear so he could get out. But he never does.
Like today. Here I am, at the freaking desk again, getting frisked for weapons. Like I'd need to carry anything. Guess they're still a bit miffed about that little incident in the hallway first time I met Dark. Understandable, I guess. Heh. I did break a couple of fingers on that one guy. Still, I gotta play it nice. Without the doc's permission, I wouldn't even be allowed in this freaking wing of the building. But they're not gonna let me go anywhere until Dark's out of his therapy session and in the big visitation room.
Yippee.
I just hope it isn't with that bitch Valentine. Don't get me wrong, the woman is drop dead gorgeous with legs up to freaking here. And she really cares about her patients. But she's still a tricky bitch. I've seen her talking with a couple of the people here. Conversation will be going along nice and ducky and then Valentine'll try to trip 'em up. I've seen her try to do that with Dark, poking at the holes and tears in his already thin version of reality.
But to him it's a game. And like I said, he's game smart. So Valentine'll try and try, and he'll just keep jumping and avoiding her little verbal tricks. It's cool to watch. He'll talk and she'll talk, she'll set the little trap, he just blows right past it, she'll set another, he'll get past that one, another, another, 'til she gets pissed and huffs off. Dark's good at stuff like that.
I'm bored. I've read the stupid magazines. Why don't they change these things? Sure, half the people here are vegetables and the other half speaks Klingon, but who doesn't like looking at new pictures every now and then?
I rock and forth in my seat, twiddle my thumbs, stare up at the ceiling. Why am I doing this? Serenity'll be out of the hospital in a few weeks and I won't have any excuse to ride for forty-five minutes on that nasty bus uptown. They'll finish their tests, she'll get her operation, stay a few days, and then go home. She won't need the Braille books I've looked all over for. She won't need her big brother.
She might wanna come back... Yeah! She's all over the place anyway, reading her books to little kids, visiting some of the old patients that have to live here, even passing around mom's candy when she can bug me into wheeling her around. Serenity might as well volunteer officially when she's out. I ride with her then, make sure she gets here safe, and then I can
I can what?
Sit in the doorway of the loony ward until my crazy little friend can come out to play?
Shit, shit, shit.
That's what I keep telling myself. I don't think the little mantra's helping any. Nothing's helping this make any sense! He's off his rocker, no denying that. Nobody normal can stare at you with that sort of crazy intensity and then spend the rest of the day staring at the inside of his skull. And nobody normal latches onto your mouth like they'd like to crawl inside your gut.
It's that last one that's still bugging the hell out of me.
It wasn't a normal kiss. Wasn't affectionate or lusting or even desperate. It was like... like... I don't know. I really don't. Closest I can come is that it was like he was tasting me. He was scared and spazzing out and needed someone else inside his head with him. Where Yuugi used to be. And I was the closest one. He just didn't want to be alone inside his head anymore.
I believe him about Yuugi. There's no real reason, I just do. Not so sure about the ancient pharaoh shtick, but I believe him about Yuugi being there with him in the background. One day Yuugi's gone and he's left in there alone.
Dark still hasn't told me what happened to Yuugi.
I don't think *he* knows yet.
Geez, when are they gonna let him out already?
Wait, there he is. Shit. And guess who's with him? Valentine. She's got this nasty triumphant look on her face. She pats Dark on the head like a freaking puppy or something and points him in my direction. The bitch watches him stumble his way across the room, not offering to help or anything when he trips over his feet and lands on his knees.
Why isn't he moving?
Come on, Dark, I'm over here.
Dark?
"Dark?" I call out.
"His name is Yuugi!" Valentine snaps from across the room.
"Come on, get up! I'm over here!"
He still isn't moving. Dark's on his hands and his knees, eyes wide enough I can see the white of them from here.
"Dark!"
I'm rushing over to him, brushing past the desk nurse that barks at me to stay put. Damn it, let go of me! I don't give a fuck if I'm not allowed in here, he needs me!
"Dark!" I reach him and drop to my knees beside him. Grab his shoulders. Shake. Once. Twice. Yell at him. "Dark!"
Still not moving.
"Mr. Wheeler, that's quite enough!" Valentine yells. "Let go of him!"
"Go screw yourself, bitch!" I spit. "What'd you do to him?" Forget her. Not important. "Dark!"
Why isn't he talking to me?
I pull him into my lap. His lips are moving fast, like he's speaking silent gibberish. He keeps gasping and panting. I rest my head on his and start rocking him, one hand rubbing his back a little. "Come on," whispering now, "it's alright. Calm down. I gotcha. Just shut up and listen, okay? I'm here. Not going anywhere. Just chill out."
"Joseph?" The doc just got here. "Joseph, let go of him, let us help him." He tugs at Dark's shoulder.
"No!" I look up just long enough to glare daggers at Valentine. "That bitch did something to him! She caused this!"
"Joseph." Solomon always means business when he uses that tone of voice. "We need to sedate him and get him to his room. His behavior this entire afternoon hinted that something like this might happen. We thought that if he saw you, he might calm down. It's nothing that I or Dr. Valentine did. It's part of his condition. Now let go of Yuugi."
Can't let go. Can't. I promised him. Never came out and said it, but I promised him I'd look after him. And that means not letting go of him. Not for the doctors. Not even for Yuugi, I guess.
"Joey?"
"Dark?" God his voice is so small and weak. "S'okay, I'm here."
He doesn't say anything but just melts against me. His arms wrap around my neck and I can feel his fingers catch the little hairs back there when he knots his hands together. But he's breathing steady now.
I stare at Valentine and the doc. "He's fine. I got here in time, so crisis averted. Now just leave him alone."
Valentine's eyes look like they're gonna jump out of the sockets and strangle me. "You little son of a--" the doc grabs her arm, but she shrugs him off, "Who are you to tell me how to treat my patients? Think about this Wheeler, he's getting dependent on you. What's going to happen to him when you get tired of visiting the mental ward? When he isn't interesting any more and you get bored?" It's almost worse than getting hit, the way she's shrieking at me like a harpy. She cares about Dark. Nice to know.
But she's killing him. Without even knowing.
This time the doc manages to drag Valentine off to the side for a moment, leaving me and Dark with the glaring desk nurse. The doc shoos him off too. Can't hear what the doc and Valentine are talking about and don't really care. Dark's more important.
"You okay now?"
Dark shudders. "Yes. I think so. Joey--"
"I'm not leaving." I hug him. "Don't worry."
"Thank you."
I can hear the doc's solid footsteps. "I need to talk with you a moment, Joseph. Dr. Valentine is going to administer a mild sedative to Yuugi. Not enough to knock him out, just enough to help him calm down. You can continue your visit in a few moments." I look up at the doc, his voice low and sincere and an earnest smile right between his mustache and neatly trimmed beard. "Come on."
I look back down at Dark. His lips are thinned. He nods. He's not happy with the idea, but what the hell. He gets up and goes off with a very pissed off looking Valentine. I'm on my feet and going with the doc.
The doc doesn't say a thing as we walk down a few random hallways. The place is nice, can't say that it isn't. But carpet, soothing colors, flowers, and pictures of flowers don't change the fact that the place is still a prison. Even if it's a prison to help people that can't help being sick in their minds.
He walks through a random door and gestures for me to sit. It's a nice plush chair facing a heavy looking desk. I think we're in his office. The walls are lined with bookshelves that are littered with heavy volumes and random little puzzle games. I think Dark could solve all of them. I know he could.
"Joseph."
I hate it when he calls me that.
"I can't continue to excuse your behavior here. Even if you are helping Yuugi, I just can't," he sighs. "And after that little incident, I don't think the others will even allow you even in the same wing as the ward, let alone in the main doorway."
What? What? My knuckles pop. I look down and see that I'm clutching the arms of the chair. "What?"
"To be honest... I don't know how much longer your visits would have been effective anyway."
"What are you talking about?" I cry.
"He's getting worse. Yuugi's been crawling deeper and deeper into himself for the longest time. He has no sense of time or place, and his catatonic states are getting longer and deeper. He used to talk to more people, to myself or Dr. Valentine, occasionally with Bakura, a patient with a similar mental background. Yuugi would talk in group therapy at times."
"He talks to me..."
"As of lately, only you."
"But--"
Dr. Solomon stands up and looks at me. Really looks at me, like he's trying to decide how much I'm worth telling. It's starting to piss me off.
"Do you know why he's here? His father owned a game shop. His mother was a teacher at the local high school. They saved enough money to accompany a professor friend of their's on a dig in Egypt. There was an accident during one of the excavations. Yuugi saw his parents die and remained with the bodies for several hours before they found him. He couldn't have been more than ten.
"He was sent back to America immediately to stay with his grandfather. Yuugi's grandfather noticed that his grandson was acting strangely. Talking to himself. Drastic mood swings. Odd moments when he'd stare out into space and laugh at nothing. Wandering off in the middle of the afternoon and returning in the middle of the night. Worst of all was that damned puzzle."
"What puzzle?" I ask. This is freaky. The doc never talks this much to me.
He glares down at me, his eyes burning. "Don't. Interrupt. Me."
"Yessir."
"Worst of all was that damned puzzle," the doc continued. "Yuugi's father had given it to him in Egypt. A tacky golden puzzle in the shape of an upside down pyramid. I'm surprised there wasn't a 'Made in Taiwan' stamp on it somewhere. But Yuugi loved it. Wore it everywhere when he came back without his parents. Became hysterical when it was lost. Got into more than one fight when someone threatened to take it away. He literally guarded with his life.
"But his grandfather though, 'It's understandable, he's been through so much.'
"Then one day, three years later, he came back to find Yuugi sitting in a corner. The puzzle was shattered and it's pieces scattered around him. Yuugi's shirt was covered with blood, none of it his own. He was rocking back and forth, muttering under his breath. Not a word of it was english.
"Yuugi didn't recognize his grandfather or anyone else. He spent days staring at everything but looking at nothing. Finally, his grandfather admitted there was nothing he could do. He brought Yuugi to a hospital and did his best. But it wasn't enough."
Solomon stares at me. His eyes are no longer blazing and he seems to have aged twenty years while talking. "But I love my grandson very much."
"Grandkid?" I blurt. "But..." It fits. Both of them are short, both with that odd spiky hair. And both of them love puzzles, from the looks of the knickknacks in the doc's office.
"Several generous donations over the past few years have eased the collective conscience of my colleagues enough to allow me to work directly with Yuugi at times. And I've earned enough seniority to call them off of a certain young idiot that seems determined to rough house with the orderlies."
"He could still get better."
Solomon tilts his head and smiles at me. It's sad, hurting smile. An old hurt that's been there a while. Melancholy, I think's the word. "And pigs could use start using those frequent flyer miles they've been accumulating all these years."
Shatter, crinkle, crack. Don't mind me, I'm just picking up the pieces of my heart. Dark can't be getting worse. I haven't known him that long, but... But I care about him. I want him to get better and get out. Then I can find out what his favorite flavor of ice cream is. Then he can come over to my house and spend the night or something. Then we can go to school together and I could help him make more friends.
Dark's too fierce, too bright to just fade away! It isn't right, it isn't fair! It just... I don't know when I got up, but I'm beating against the door, fists throbbing in pain. Isn't fair, isn't fair, isn't fair, isn't
"I know it isn't fair, Joseph. And I thank you for the companionship you've given him over the past few weeks. But he won't be with us much longer."
"You make it sound like he's dying, you bastard!" I want to hit him for sounding so fucking calm. Hit the door, hit the door, again and again.
"In a way, he is." Delivered with all the warmth of a newspaper obituary.
"Dark's dying because of this place! Because Yuugi's gone and he thinks he's all alone. He isn't! If you put him here, then take him out! Take him home. At least let him fade or whatever in peace." I want to cry, but I let out a wet, honking laugh inspite of trying not to. And the tears roll down my cheeks.
"I can't. There's no possible way I can take care of him by myself." He just let's the whole 'Dark' thing slide right by. Guess he knows about that too.
"Then let me."
Solomon takes my elbow and pulls me far enough from the door to open it. He doesn't answer me and we're walking down the hallway again. I swipe at my nose, determined not to let Dark see me crying. We're out in the visitation room again. Valentine's still looking pissed and she's holding Dark up by an arm.
He doesn't look that good.
But when does he ever in this place?
"Go take a walk around the hospital, Joseph. Take Yuugi to see your sister. Visit the garden," Solomon says in a dull voice. "I'll send one of the orderlies with you in case something should happen." Valentine opens her mouth to protest, but the doc cuts her off with a glare. "Not now, Dr. Valentine. We'll talk later."
The doc goes off for a bit and returns with a familiar solid, muscular woman. Valentine and I aren't given enough time to chitchat. Yippee.
"You know Nurse Armstrong. She'll watch you around the hospital. You've got an hour, Joseph. Enjoy it, because this is likely the last visit."
Armstrong looks a bit miffed to be playing babysitter to a couple of kids, but she nods and says to Solomon, "Only for you, old goat. Everybody else can go screw themselves." She takes Dark by the hand and tugs him towards the door. He doesn't budge. She smiles sweetly and says, "Come on, honey."
"Let me." I take Dark's free hand. He squeezes it briefly. Armstrong shrugs and walks towards the door. We follow like a couple of obedient puppies on strings.
"Where to?"
Like I give a shit? I just want Dark to myself for a little bit, to see if he's alright. You people want to help but all you're doing is killing him.
I can't let you do that. I just can't.
"Joe? Where do you two want to go?" Armstrong asks again.
"Um, could we go see Serenity?"
"Sure. Children's ward today, right? I think that's where she goes on Tuesdays."
"Yeah. To read to the kids."
More hallways. More corners. At least this time Dark's with me. I look down at him and smile, squeezing his hand again. 'Don't worry,' I mouth. He blinks at me, bleary understanding struggling to shine through his now dim eyes.
Mild sedative my ass. Valentine doped him to the gills.
But that should make it easier to
To what?
Guess I'll figure out when my brain decides to inform me what it's up to.
Armstrong stops when we finally reach the children's ward. It's brighter than the mental ward, pictures of animals and clowns on the walls instead of flowers, primary colors instead of pastels. She takes us to one of the small waiting rooms filled with toys. An old guy, probably someone's dad, is slumped unconscious in a chair, surrounded by a couple of duffle bags. Looks like this poor guy is in it for the long haul. I hope his kid's okay.
"Look kids," she whispers quietly, "I'm long overdue for a smoke break. You two just stay put for a few seconds and we'll go look for Serenity, okay?"
What else can I do but nod? She's off and we're waiting in the waiting room with the sleeping dad. Dark shuffles listlessly beside me. "You okay?" He nods and tries to burrow his head against my chest. I pull him towards a chair, but he squirms and I wind up sitting with him on my lap.
He's only fifteen. Two years younger than me.
Damn them. All of them. Even his granddad.
Dark doesn't deserve this. None of it.
He deserves to be outside playing with other kids his age. I can picture it so easily. Wrapped up in a jacket, a wine colored scarf wound around his neck. He'd be the type to spend all day raking the yard and then go jump in the piles. I'd show him the pond in the park near my house, and we could skip stones. I'd point out the brightest trees, and we'd make it a game to see who could find the reddest leaf. Or we could just walk around aimlessly.
Brain decides to speak up.
So go for the fucking walk already. Just take him and go. Get him out. Armstrong's not here right now. Just take Dark's hand, walk like you know where you're going, and get the hell out.
And it makes a terrible kind of sense.
Get Dark out.
I'm on my feet and digging through the duffle bags at the feet of the sleeping dad before I'm aware that I'm moving. Move fast, move quiet, Brain reminds me. Standard stuff, books, fresh socks and underwear, a stuffed toy. Second bag. Bingo! A big worn sweater that'll probably sag down to Dark's knees, but what the hell? A pair of loafers. What kind of kid wears loafers around the house? Who cares.
I grab the sweater and a couple of tshirts. Another bag gives up a pair of pants. This and a pair of socks and underwear. I take the stolen goods over to Dark and that pathetic excuse of a shirt is off him. Standard hospital issue. Thin and worn and not nearly enough to keep properly warm.
"Joey?" Dark looks up at me with puzzled eyes.
"Never mind. Put this on." I yank the two tshirts over his head one after the other and pull the sweater on after them. The underwear and pants are shoved at him. "Come on, Dark. You know how this goes. Underwear and pants."
I turn around and cast a nervous look at the sleeping dad. Still hasn't moved. Armstrong still isn't back. Either bit of good luck could break at any minute. I'm scared, I'm scared, this is gonna get me in so much trouble, but I can't do anything *but* this. This is all I can do. I have to get Dark out of here and I have to keep him safe.
Someone taps me on the shoulder and I want to whirl around and scream. Cancel the scream but go ahead with the whirl. Dark. He tilts his head and blinks at me with trusting wine colored eyes. Thanks to Valentine, he isn't really coherent enough to know what's going on. But as Brain mentioned earlier, that's probably a good thing. But he was coherent enough to put on the socks and loafers, I notice.
Great. Now he looks like a scruffy, sleepy kid on his way home from a long visit. But the hair? I dig around in my jacket and fish out the wool cap I wore over here. I jam it over the proud spikes, making him lose at least four inches of height. Better. The cap and the sweater clash terribly, but what's a little fashion mishap here and there?
I take Dark's hand and lead him to the door. Sleeping dad sleeps. I peek out the doorway. No Armstrong. Lady Luck still loves me. I guide Dark down the hallway. I duck my head and pray that no one recognizes us. We're past the hall nurse standing guard at the entryway to the children's ward. Still engrossed in his soaps blatting on a tv visible in another waiting room.
Want to run. Solomon's gonna hunt us down, kill me, and go back to killing Dark with that loving kindness. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and I'm clutching Dark's hand so tight I'm surprised he doesn't whimper. But he squeezes back just as hard. Want so much to run.
Another hallway. Elevator. Hallway. Elevator. Parking garage. Stairs. This place is a fucking maze.
Street.
Building's rear tall above us and we dash madly across the busy intersection. Never gonna let go Dark, don't worry. I promise. We stop at a bus station. I've got enough on me and enough in my tiny bank account to buy two tickets. I don't notice where, just that we're able to get on a bus.
Dark's still holding my hand.
Don't know where we're going. Don't know what we'll do when we get there. Don't even know if I can keep Dark alive out here. None of his medicine. Unfamiliar environment. But he's free.
"Where are we going, Joey?" he asks. He sounds stronger this time.
"Where do you wanna go?"
"Egypt. To find my past. And my name."
I throw my head back and laugh. Why not? Why not Egypt? It's perfect! I hug Dark and press a kiss to his jaw. He looks more startled at my laughter, but he returns a hesitant kiss to my cheek. Some ass next to us mutters, "Fags," under his breath. I turn and cheerfully inform him how he can go fuck himself.
Egypt.
Why not?
It's as good a star as any to reach for.
[Warrior / Effect] FLIP: Destroys 1 Trap Card on the field. If this cards's target is face-down, flip it face-up. If the card is a Trap Card, it is destroyed. If not, it is returned to it's face-down position. The flipped cared is not activated.
=====
Shit.
Shit, shit, shit.
Double shit times three.
He didn't have a name, so I gave him one. That's cool.
But weird. Like a lot of other stuff he does.
But with Dark, a lot of stuff's weird. I've watched him a couple times when I come to visit. Just stand in the doorway until someone points out where he's hiding. He's good at that. Even with the wild hair. You'd think someone would notice a short kid with multicolored pineapple shaped hair. But they don't seem to notice Dark. Dark'll sit under a table or in a corner, sometimes he'll even hide in supply closets. Most of the time, though, he's huddled in a ball in his room.
Why do these freaks think that's normal? Haven't they seen him sometimes? When he's awake? You can't tell me someone hasn't noticed. He's really smart, but in a weird sort of way. (Weird, of course, being the Dark way of life) Give him a game, any game, and just let him watch a couple rounds. In those few rounds he can figure out the basic rules, basic strategies, and give you a few pointers you'd never even thought of.
Like when Grim taught him chess.
Don't know what Grim's real name is. Doesn't matter. The guy's a chess master, a for real chess master, not just someone really good at it. Me and Dark watched him play a few rounds with his niece in the children's ward. Kid was good, but not as good as her uncle. Dark started to point out a few moves for her. She won the game. And the next one with Dark's help. Grim told Dark to cut the shit and sit down and play directly.
So he did.
And Grim lost every freaking game they played. Grim's happy in a real pissy sort of way to have a partner to play with.
That's the way Dark's smart. In a game sort of way. Unexpected strategies, risks that always pay off, a weird combo of sharp logic and fluid intuition. But he's also an idiot. His idea of escape is running like a bat out of hell straight for the door. No wonder they catch him every time. You'd think he'd learn how to say what they wanted to hear so he could get out. But he never does.
Like today. Here I am, at the freaking desk again, getting frisked for weapons. Like I'd need to carry anything. Guess they're still a bit miffed about that little incident in the hallway first time I met Dark. Understandable, I guess. Heh. I did break a couple of fingers on that one guy. Still, I gotta play it nice. Without the doc's permission, I wouldn't even be allowed in this freaking wing of the building. But they're not gonna let me go anywhere until Dark's out of his therapy session and in the big visitation room.
Yippee.
I just hope it isn't with that bitch Valentine. Don't get me wrong, the woman is drop dead gorgeous with legs up to freaking here. And she really cares about her patients. But she's still a tricky bitch. I've seen her talking with a couple of the people here. Conversation will be going along nice and ducky and then Valentine'll try to trip 'em up. I've seen her try to do that with Dark, poking at the holes and tears in his already thin version of reality.
But to him it's a game. And like I said, he's game smart. So Valentine'll try and try, and he'll just keep jumping and avoiding her little verbal tricks. It's cool to watch. He'll talk and she'll talk, she'll set the little trap, he just blows right past it, she'll set another, he'll get past that one, another, another, 'til she gets pissed and huffs off. Dark's good at stuff like that.
I'm bored. I've read the stupid magazines. Why don't they change these things? Sure, half the people here are vegetables and the other half speaks Klingon, but who doesn't like looking at new pictures every now and then?
I rock and forth in my seat, twiddle my thumbs, stare up at the ceiling. Why am I doing this? Serenity'll be out of the hospital in a few weeks and I won't have any excuse to ride for forty-five minutes on that nasty bus uptown. They'll finish their tests, she'll get her operation, stay a few days, and then go home. She won't need the Braille books I've looked all over for. She won't need her big brother.
She might wanna come back... Yeah! She's all over the place anyway, reading her books to little kids, visiting some of the old patients that have to live here, even passing around mom's candy when she can bug me into wheeling her around. Serenity might as well volunteer officially when she's out. I ride with her then, make sure she gets here safe, and then I can
I can what?
Sit in the doorway of the loony ward until my crazy little friend can come out to play?
Shit, shit, shit.
That's what I keep telling myself. I don't think the little mantra's helping any. Nothing's helping this make any sense! He's off his rocker, no denying that. Nobody normal can stare at you with that sort of crazy intensity and then spend the rest of the day staring at the inside of his skull. And nobody normal latches onto your mouth like they'd like to crawl inside your gut.
It's that last one that's still bugging the hell out of me.
It wasn't a normal kiss. Wasn't affectionate or lusting or even desperate. It was like... like... I don't know. I really don't. Closest I can come is that it was like he was tasting me. He was scared and spazzing out and needed someone else inside his head with him. Where Yuugi used to be. And I was the closest one. He just didn't want to be alone inside his head anymore.
I believe him about Yuugi. There's no real reason, I just do. Not so sure about the ancient pharaoh shtick, but I believe him about Yuugi being there with him in the background. One day Yuugi's gone and he's left in there alone.
Dark still hasn't told me what happened to Yuugi.
I don't think *he* knows yet.
Geez, when are they gonna let him out already?
Wait, there he is. Shit. And guess who's with him? Valentine. She's got this nasty triumphant look on her face. She pats Dark on the head like a freaking puppy or something and points him in my direction. The bitch watches him stumble his way across the room, not offering to help or anything when he trips over his feet and lands on his knees.
Why isn't he moving?
Come on, Dark, I'm over here.
Dark?
"Dark?" I call out.
"His name is Yuugi!" Valentine snaps from across the room.
"Come on, get up! I'm over here!"
He still isn't moving. Dark's on his hands and his knees, eyes wide enough I can see the white of them from here.
"Dark!"
I'm rushing over to him, brushing past the desk nurse that barks at me to stay put. Damn it, let go of me! I don't give a fuck if I'm not allowed in here, he needs me!
"Dark!" I reach him and drop to my knees beside him. Grab his shoulders. Shake. Once. Twice. Yell at him. "Dark!"
Still not moving.
"Mr. Wheeler, that's quite enough!" Valentine yells. "Let go of him!"
"Go screw yourself, bitch!" I spit. "What'd you do to him?" Forget her. Not important. "Dark!"
Why isn't he talking to me?
I pull him into my lap. His lips are moving fast, like he's speaking silent gibberish. He keeps gasping and panting. I rest my head on his and start rocking him, one hand rubbing his back a little. "Come on," whispering now, "it's alright. Calm down. I gotcha. Just shut up and listen, okay? I'm here. Not going anywhere. Just chill out."
"Joseph?" The doc just got here. "Joseph, let go of him, let us help him." He tugs at Dark's shoulder.
"No!" I look up just long enough to glare daggers at Valentine. "That bitch did something to him! She caused this!"
"Joseph." Solomon always means business when he uses that tone of voice. "We need to sedate him and get him to his room. His behavior this entire afternoon hinted that something like this might happen. We thought that if he saw you, he might calm down. It's nothing that I or Dr. Valentine did. It's part of his condition. Now let go of Yuugi."
Can't let go. Can't. I promised him. Never came out and said it, but I promised him I'd look after him. And that means not letting go of him. Not for the doctors. Not even for Yuugi, I guess.
"Joey?"
"Dark?" God his voice is so small and weak. "S'okay, I'm here."
He doesn't say anything but just melts against me. His arms wrap around my neck and I can feel his fingers catch the little hairs back there when he knots his hands together. But he's breathing steady now.
I stare at Valentine and the doc. "He's fine. I got here in time, so crisis averted. Now just leave him alone."
Valentine's eyes look like they're gonna jump out of the sockets and strangle me. "You little son of a--" the doc grabs her arm, but she shrugs him off, "Who are you to tell me how to treat my patients? Think about this Wheeler, he's getting dependent on you. What's going to happen to him when you get tired of visiting the mental ward? When he isn't interesting any more and you get bored?" It's almost worse than getting hit, the way she's shrieking at me like a harpy. She cares about Dark. Nice to know.
But she's killing him. Without even knowing.
This time the doc manages to drag Valentine off to the side for a moment, leaving me and Dark with the glaring desk nurse. The doc shoos him off too. Can't hear what the doc and Valentine are talking about and don't really care. Dark's more important.
"You okay now?"
Dark shudders. "Yes. I think so. Joey--"
"I'm not leaving." I hug him. "Don't worry."
"Thank you."
I can hear the doc's solid footsteps. "I need to talk with you a moment, Joseph. Dr. Valentine is going to administer a mild sedative to Yuugi. Not enough to knock him out, just enough to help him calm down. You can continue your visit in a few moments." I look up at the doc, his voice low and sincere and an earnest smile right between his mustache and neatly trimmed beard. "Come on."
I look back down at Dark. His lips are thinned. He nods. He's not happy with the idea, but what the hell. He gets up and goes off with a very pissed off looking Valentine. I'm on my feet and going with the doc.
The doc doesn't say a thing as we walk down a few random hallways. The place is nice, can't say that it isn't. But carpet, soothing colors, flowers, and pictures of flowers don't change the fact that the place is still a prison. Even if it's a prison to help people that can't help being sick in their minds.
He walks through a random door and gestures for me to sit. It's a nice plush chair facing a heavy looking desk. I think we're in his office. The walls are lined with bookshelves that are littered with heavy volumes and random little puzzle games. I think Dark could solve all of them. I know he could.
"Joseph."
I hate it when he calls me that.
"I can't continue to excuse your behavior here. Even if you are helping Yuugi, I just can't," he sighs. "And after that little incident, I don't think the others will even allow you even in the same wing as the ward, let alone in the main doorway."
What? What? My knuckles pop. I look down and see that I'm clutching the arms of the chair. "What?"
"To be honest... I don't know how much longer your visits would have been effective anyway."
"What are you talking about?" I cry.
"He's getting worse. Yuugi's been crawling deeper and deeper into himself for the longest time. He has no sense of time or place, and his catatonic states are getting longer and deeper. He used to talk to more people, to myself or Dr. Valentine, occasionally with Bakura, a patient with a similar mental background. Yuugi would talk in group therapy at times."
"He talks to me..."
"As of lately, only you."
"But--"
Dr. Solomon stands up and looks at me. Really looks at me, like he's trying to decide how much I'm worth telling. It's starting to piss me off.
"Do you know why he's here? His father owned a game shop. His mother was a teacher at the local high school. They saved enough money to accompany a professor friend of their's on a dig in Egypt. There was an accident during one of the excavations. Yuugi saw his parents die and remained with the bodies for several hours before they found him. He couldn't have been more than ten.
"He was sent back to America immediately to stay with his grandfather. Yuugi's grandfather noticed that his grandson was acting strangely. Talking to himself. Drastic mood swings. Odd moments when he'd stare out into space and laugh at nothing. Wandering off in the middle of the afternoon and returning in the middle of the night. Worst of all was that damned puzzle."
"What puzzle?" I ask. This is freaky. The doc never talks this much to me.
He glares down at me, his eyes burning. "Don't. Interrupt. Me."
"Yessir."
"Worst of all was that damned puzzle," the doc continued. "Yuugi's father had given it to him in Egypt. A tacky golden puzzle in the shape of an upside down pyramid. I'm surprised there wasn't a 'Made in Taiwan' stamp on it somewhere. But Yuugi loved it. Wore it everywhere when he came back without his parents. Became hysterical when it was lost. Got into more than one fight when someone threatened to take it away. He literally guarded with his life.
"But his grandfather though, 'It's understandable, he's been through so much.'
"Then one day, three years later, he came back to find Yuugi sitting in a corner. The puzzle was shattered and it's pieces scattered around him. Yuugi's shirt was covered with blood, none of it his own. He was rocking back and forth, muttering under his breath. Not a word of it was english.
"Yuugi didn't recognize his grandfather or anyone else. He spent days staring at everything but looking at nothing. Finally, his grandfather admitted there was nothing he could do. He brought Yuugi to a hospital and did his best. But it wasn't enough."
Solomon stares at me. His eyes are no longer blazing and he seems to have aged twenty years while talking. "But I love my grandson very much."
"Grandkid?" I blurt. "But..." It fits. Both of them are short, both with that odd spiky hair. And both of them love puzzles, from the looks of the knickknacks in the doc's office.
"Several generous donations over the past few years have eased the collective conscience of my colleagues enough to allow me to work directly with Yuugi at times. And I've earned enough seniority to call them off of a certain young idiot that seems determined to rough house with the orderlies."
"He could still get better."
Solomon tilts his head and smiles at me. It's sad, hurting smile. An old hurt that's been there a while. Melancholy, I think's the word. "And pigs could use start using those frequent flyer miles they've been accumulating all these years."
Shatter, crinkle, crack. Don't mind me, I'm just picking up the pieces of my heart. Dark can't be getting worse. I haven't known him that long, but... But I care about him. I want him to get better and get out. Then I can find out what his favorite flavor of ice cream is. Then he can come over to my house and spend the night or something. Then we can go to school together and I could help him make more friends.
Dark's too fierce, too bright to just fade away! It isn't right, it isn't fair! It just... I don't know when I got up, but I'm beating against the door, fists throbbing in pain. Isn't fair, isn't fair, isn't fair, isn't
"I know it isn't fair, Joseph. And I thank you for the companionship you've given him over the past few weeks. But he won't be with us much longer."
"You make it sound like he's dying, you bastard!" I want to hit him for sounding so fucking calm. Hit the door, hit the door, again and again.
"In a way, he is." Delivered with all the warmth of a newspaper obituary.
"Dark's dying because of this place! Because Yuugi's gone and he thinks he's all alone. He isn't! If you put him here, then take him out! Take him home. At least let him fade or whatever in peace." I want to cry, but I let out a wet, honking laugh inspite of trying not to. And the tears roll down my cheeks.
"I can't. There's no possible way I can take care of him by myself." He just let's the whole 'Dark' thing slide right by. Guess he knows about that too.
"Then let me."
Solomon takes my elbow and pulls me far enough from the door to open it. He doesn't answer me and we're walking down the hallway again. I swipe at my nose, determined not to let Dark see me crying. We're out in the visitation room again. Valentine's still looking pissed and she's holding Dark up by an arm.
He doesn't look that good.
But when does he ever in this place?
"Go take a walk around the hospital, Joseph. Take Yuugi to see your sister. Visit the garden," Solomon says in a dull voice. "I'll send one of the orderlies with you in case something should happen." Valentine opens her mouth to protest, but the doc cuts her off with a glare. "Not now, Dr. Valentine. We'll talk later."
The doc goes off for a bit and returns with a familiar solid, muscular woman. Valentine and I aren't given enough time to chitchat. Yippee.
"You know Nurse Armstrong. She'll watch you around the hospital. You've got an hour, Joseph. Enjoy it, because this is likely the last visit."
Armstrong looks a bit miffed to be playing babysitter to a couple of kids, but she nods and says to Solomon, "Only for you, old goat. Everybody else can go screw themselves." She takes Dark by the hand and tugs him towards the door. He doesn't budge. She smiles sweetly and says, "Come on, honey."
"Let me." I take Dark's free hand. He squeezes it briefly. Armstrong shrugs and walks towards the door. We follow like a couple of obedient puppies on strings.
"Where to?"
Like I give a shit? I just want Dark to myself for a little bit, to see if he's alright. You people want to help but all you're doing is killing him.
I can't let you do that. I just can't.
"Joe? Where do you two want to go?" Armstrong asks again.
"Um, could we go see Serenity?"
"Sure. Children's ward today, right? I think that's where she goes on Tuesdays."
"Yeah. To read to the kids."
More hallways. More corners. At least this time Dark's with me. I look down at him and smile, squeezing his hand again. 'Don't worry,' I mouth. He blinks at me, bleary understanding struggling to shine through his now dim eyes.
Mild sedative my ass. Valentine doped him to the gills.
But that should make it easier to
To what?
Guess I'll figure out when my brain decides to inform me what it's up to.
Armstrong stops when we finally reach the children's ward. It's brighter than the mental ward, pictures of animals and clowns on the walls instead of flowers, primary colors instead of pastels. She takes us to one of the small waiting rooms filled with toys. An old guy, probably someone's dad, is slumped unconscious in a chair, surrounded by a couple of duffle bags. Looks like this poor guy is in it for the long haul. I hope his kid's okay.
"Look kids," she whispers quietly, "I'm long overdue for a smoke break. You two just stay put for a few seconds and we'll go look for Serenity, okay?"
What else can I do but nod? She's off and we're waiting in the waiting room with the sleeping dad. Dark shuffles listlessly beside me. "You okay?" He nods and tries to burrow his head against my chest. I pull him towards a chair, but he squirms and I wind up sitting with him on my lap.
He's only fifteen. Two years younger than me.
Damn them. All of them. Even his granddad.
Dark doesn't deserve this. None of it.
He deserves to be outside playing with other kids his age. I can picture it so easily. Wrapped up in a jacket, a wine colored scarf wound around his neck. He'd be the type to spend all day raking the yard and then go jump in the piles. I'd show him the pond in the park near my house, and we could skip stones. I'd point out the brightest trees, and we'd make it a game to see who could find the reddest leaf. Or we could just walk around aimlessly.
Brain decides to speak up.
So go for the fucking walk already. Just take him and go. Get him out. Armstrong's not here right now. Just take Dark's hand, walk like you know where you're going, and get the hell out.
And it makes a terrible kind of sense.
Get Dark out.
I'm on my feet and digging through the duffle bags at the feet of the sleeping dad before I'm aware that I'm moving. Move fast, move quiet, Brain reminds me. Standard stuff, books, fresh socks and underwear, a stuffed toy. Second bag. Bingo! A big worn sweater that'll probably sag down to Dark's knees, but what the hell? A pair of loafers. What kind of kid wears loafers around the house? Who cares.
I grab the sweater and a couple of tshirts. Another bag gives up a pair of pants. This and a pair of socks and underwear. I take the stolen goods over to Dark and that pathetic excuse of a shirt is off him. Standard hospital issue. Thin and worn and not nearly enough to keep properly warm.
"Joey?" Dark looks up at me with puzzled eyes.
"Never mind. Put this on." I yank the two tshirts over his head one after the other and pull the sweater on after them. The underwear and pants are shoved at him. "Come on, Dark. You know how this goes. Underwear and pants."
I turn around and cast a nervous look at the sleeping dad. Still hasn't moved. Armstrong still isn't back. Either bit of good luck could break at any minute. I'm scared, I'm scared, this is gonna get me in so much trouble, but I can't do anything *but* this. This is all I can do. I have to get Dark out of here and I have to keep him safe.
Someone taps me on the shoulder and I want to whirl around and scream. Cancel the scream but go ahead with the whirl. Dark. He tilts his head and blinks at me with trusting wine colored eyes. Thanks to Valentine, he isn't really coherent enough to know what's going on. But as Brain mentioned earlier, that's probably a good thing. But he was coherent enough to put on the socks and loafers, I notice.
Great. Now he looks like a scruffy, sleepy kid on his way home from a long visit. But the hair? I dig around in my jacket and fish out the wool cap I wore over here. I jam it over the proud spikes, making him lose at least four inches of height. Better. The cap and the sweater clash terribly, but what's a little fashion mishap here and there?
I take Dark's hand and lead him to the door. Sleeping dad sleeps. I peek out the doorway. No Armstrong. Lady Luck still loves me. I guide Dark down the hallway. I duck my head and pray that no one recognizes us. We're past the hall nurse standing guard at the entryway to the children's ward. Still engrossed in his soaps blatting on a tv visible in another waiting room.
Want to run. Solomon's gonna hunt us down, kill me, and go back to killing Dark with that loving kindness. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and I'm clutching Dark's hand so tight I'm surprised he doesn't whimper. But he squeezes back just as hard. Want so much to run.
Another hallway. Elevator. Hallway. Elevator. Parking garage. Stairs. This place is a fucking maze.
Street.
Building's rear tall above us and we dash madly across the busy intersection. Never gonna let go Dark, don't worry. I promise. We stop at a bus station. I've got enough on me and enough in my tiny bank account to buy two tickets. I don't notice where, just that we're able to get on a bus.
Dark's still holding my hand.
Don't know where we're going. Don't know what we'll do when we get there. Don't even know if I can keep Dark alive out here. None of his medicine. Unfamiliar environment. But he's free.
"Where are we going, Joey?" he asks. He sounds stronger this time.
"Where do you wanna go?"
"Egypt. To find my past. And my name."
I throw my head back and laugh. Why not? Why not Egypt? It's perfect! I hug Dark and press a kiss to his jaw. He looks more startled at my laughter, but he returns a hesitant kiss to my cheek. Some ass next to us mutters, "Fags," under his breath. I turn and cheerfully inform him how he can go fuck himself.
Egypt.
Why not?
It's as good a star as any to reach for.