I got home from work just in time from dinner. From the way Mom was smiling and humming as she set out the plates, I guessed right away that the news at the doctor's had been good - but I let her wait to make the official announcement.
As soon as we all had our plates full of chicken casserole, Mom poked Red in the shoulder. She was grinning ear-to-ear. "Tell the boys your news!"
Red cleared his throat. "I passed the physical. So now, Eric, you can get the hell out of here."
"All right, Dad, that's great!"
"Good for you, Mr. Forman. Guess a little beer didn't hurt after all - I mean, good job staying on the diet." Hyde nodded, with that little smirk he wears when he's messing with people. I don't know how the hell he gets away with it - Red would be kicking my ass by now if I'd said that. Instead, Red just glared at him briefly, and Mom gave him her 'I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that' look.
After dinner, we went downstairs. This time we went straight into Hyde's room.
"So what're you going to do?" he asked me as he closed the door.
"You mean now that Red doesn't need me here?" Obviously, yeah, that was the question. I sat down on the cot and absently scanned the junk on the shelf beside it. I picked up Hyde's eyeball pinky ring and slipped it over my littlest finger - it fit loosely. His hands were bigger than mine. "I don't know. I mean, back in August I was supposed to move to Madison with Donna. Now that's not going to happen, no matter what. I can't really go to college until next September - I mean, I think they have winter registration, but most of the freshman courses are full-year."
"I'm going to be looking for an apartment anyway," he said, heading over to the record player. "We could get a place together."
I looked over at him; he had his back to me, picking out an album to play. "Wow, um. Donna and I dated for a year before we decided to move in together."
He set the needle down on the record he'd chosen; it was side two of Dark Side of the Moon. "OK, whatever. It was just an idea."
Damn it, why did he always give up so easily? "No, wait, it might be a good idea. You took me by surprise, is all."
He came back over to the cot and sat down at the end, cross-legged facing me. "Nah, you're right. I mean, I dated Jackie for a year and I sure as hell wasn't ready to move in with her."
"Right." I spun his eyeball ring on my finger, hiding it behind my other hand; I don't think he'd noticed I was wearing it. "And Jesus, here we are, we've only been dating for a day..."
Hyde frogged me on the shoulder, not too hard. "Don't say we're dating, Forman. It sounds weird."
I frowned. "Well, what would you call it?"
Hyde shrugged. "Don't call it anything, man. Just let it be what it is." He smiled, and took his sunglasses off. Hooking them over the collar of his t-shirt, he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me over to him so he could kiss me.
"You know," I said against his warm lips, "We've been living together for two years already."
He laughed. "Fuck, you're right." Then he attacked me with ferocious kisses that pushed me down flat onto the cot. I was happy to kiss him back, meeting his insistent tongue with mine. With my fingers splayed across his back, I pulled him tight. I felt his erection digging into my hip, and I was glad to know that I turned him on as fast as he did it to me. He nipped my lip with his teeth, and I liked the sharp feeling. Our noses bumped, and his stubble scratched my cheek, and I loved every sensation.
I guess between Pink Floyd on the stereo and the squeaking of the cot under us, we didn't hear the door to the driveway open and close, because the first warning we had that there was someone in the basement was a sharp knocking on Hyde's door.
"Shit," he gasped, and scrambled off me, falling on the floor with a thud. "What?!" he yelled at the door, snatching for something under the cot.
So when Jackie burst into Hyde's room, what she saw was Hyde sitting on the floor by the cot calmly leafing through a dog-eared paperback book, and me lying on the cot with rumpled hair and a guilty expression. Luckily, the obvious explanation was too far out of her life experience to even consider. "You guys!" she said excitedly, "Donna's home for Christmas! And she brought a girlfriend home with her! And her girlfriend is even more of a boy than Donna is!"
For a second I was completely stunned; I hadn't thought Donna was ready to tell everyone she was gay yet. Also, I would've thought Jackie would be a bit more shocked and horrified than this to discover she'd been roommates with a lesbian for a year.
Then I realized the obvious. Jackie didn't mean 'girlfriend' like dating, she meant 'girlfriend' like 'friend who is a girl.' Ironically, I'd give at least two-to-one odds that this 'girlfriend' was, in fact, the chick from the Women's Studies class that Donna had dumped me for. I mean, who else would she bring home for Christmas?
That was pretty ballsey of her, come to think of it.
"Cool," said Hyde. "Are they coming over?"
"Yeah, I think so, as soon as they've put their bags away. You've got to see this girl! It's like Donna times two!"
We followed Jackie out into the basement. I smoothed down my hair and straightened my shirt when Jackie's back was turned; Hyde noticed, and snickered silently.
"I already called Kelso and Fez and told them to come over here," Jackie said, clapping her hands and bouncing a bit. "It'll be just like old times!"
I didn't know whether to laugh at Jackie for talking about 'old times' like she was one of our parents, or to get indignant at her inviting everyone over to my house. I mean, it's not like she was even dating one of the residents anymore. Still, it would be cool to have the whole gang all in one room again.
"Steven, don't sit there." Hyde was sitting on the lawn chair in front of the deep freeze, and Jackie was standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. "The couch is comfier. You're here first, so you should sit on the couch."
He slipped his sunglasses on, and raised his eyebrows at her. "I like this chair."
Jackie sat down at the end of the couch closest to him, looking frustrated. I could see she was putting her plan to win Hyde back into action. I guess it was good at least that she wasn't moping... wait, no it wasn't! She was in denial, and she was trying to steal my boyfriend. And she was sitting where I wanted to be sitting - in the place closest to him. And I couldn't say anything about it, because nobody knew about me and Hyde, and no one was ever going to know. Damn it all to hell. I sat at the other end of the couch, feeling pissed off and helpless.
Luckily, Fez and Kelso burst in through the door before the three of us had to make conversation.
"I hate winter," Fez grumbled, pulling off his hat and scarf and coat. "It is so cold and gray. We do not have winter in my country."
"Oh, don't be such a wimp," Kelso said, frogging him. "It's not really winter. It hasn't even snowed yet!"
"You see?" Fez crossed his arms. "It will only get worse."
"Aw, Fez, you want me to get you a blanket to snuggle up in?" Hyde asked, all mock sympathetic.
Fez came and plopped himself down on the couch between me and Jackie, pouting. "If only I had a loving wife to keep me warm through the unnaturally dark winter months."
I shrugged. "Your mistake for marrying Laurie. Where is she these days, anyway? Oh yeah, Mexico. Hot, sunny Mexico."
Kelso settled himself on the other lawn chair, his long legs splayed out around the spool table. "Hey, Fez, are you from Mexico?"
Before Fez could answer, the door to the driveway banged open again, and Donna burst in. "Hey, guys, I'm home!" she called out with a huge grin.
"Donna!!" Kelso leapt to his feet and swept her up in a big hug. He was the only one of us who could pick Donna right off the ground and swing her around without it being awkward.
She laughed. "Put me down, you big oaf!" She hugged him back, then motioned to the door. "Come on in and meet everyone, Naomi!"
So I got my first look at the chick who Donna had dumped me for. She walked in looking a bit hesitant - I guess it must be nerve-wracking meeting all your girlfriend's childhood friends in one shot. She was smaller than Donna, more Jackie's size. Her black hair was cut shorter than I'd ever seen on a girl, almost a buzz cut. It was hard not to stare at that. Her eyes were big and dark, and she didn't look like she was wearing any makeup. She was wearing a cast-off army jacket that was too big for her and covered with all sorts of patches, including a few peace signs. She also had on camouflage pants with bright blue patches on their knees, and beat-up steel-toed work boots. I could see what Jackie meant - she was even more of a boy than Donna was. I mean, Donna was wearing jeans and boots and a men's-style sheepskin coat, but at least she had long hair.
The funny thing was, imagining Naomi with long hair and girly clothes, I thought she'd actually look a lot like Jackie. I decided that for my own personal safety, I'd refrain from sharing that observation with Donna, Naomi, or Jackie.
"Everyone, this is Naomi," Donna said, looking proud. "Naomi, this is everyone." Donna listed off each of our names, and Naomi smiled at us and made a little waving motion with her fingers. Fez and I got up to gallantly give our spots on the couch to the girls. As Donna brushed by me, I caught her in a hug.
"Welcome back," I whispered.
"We'll talk later," she whispered back.
Since there were no more seats, I sat on the floor. And since I had to sit on the floor somewhere, I sat on the floor by Hyde's feet. Almost touching him, but not quite. Meanwhile, Fez went and got himself a soda from the stack in the corner.
"So how'd your exams go?" Jackie asked Donna.
"They were brutal, but I think I kicked ass." Donna grinned. "I had the last one this morning. God, it's good to have them over with."
"How about you, Naomi?" Jackie asked, in that slightly artificial tone she uses with people she doesn't really like. I don't think she approved of Naomi's outfit, or her hair.
"Oh, I finished on Monday. I just waited around for Donna after that," Naomi said. It was the first time I'd heard her speak, and her voice surprised me - since she was small like Jackie, I expected her to have a high, girly voice. Instead her voice was a rich alto, a bit deeper than Donna's.
"So are you staying around for the whole Christmas break?" I asked her.
"Yeah," Donna said, giving me a significant look. "I invited her to spend Christmas with Bob and Jackie and me, since her parents have gone to Florida."
Kelso leaned forward in his chair. "Without her? Jesus, that sucks!"
Naomi exchanged a wry grin with Donna. "No, it's OK - Kelso, right?" Naomi said. "I don't mind coming here."
"Look, if it's any comfort," Kelso went on, looking dangerously earnest, "you're totally not alone. Hyde's parents abandoned him too, and so did Jackie's, and so did Donna's mom, and, well, nobody even knows what country Fez's parents are in."
"Donna?" Hyde said.
"Yeah?"
"You're closest to him. Hit him, would you?"
"No problem." Donna punched Kelso in the shoulder.
"Ow!" he yelped. "What was that for?"
"My family doesn't celebrate Christmas anyway, so it's no big deal," Naomi said, looking kind of amused and kind of appalled.
"You don't celebrate Christmas!?" Kelso looked like he was going to fall right out of his chair in his shock. "What kind of screwed up family is that?"
"Kelso," Donna said patiently, "Naomi's Jewish."
"Ohhhh." Kelso nodded, trying to look wise. "OK, that's cool. I've never met someone from a different culture before."
Fez, sitting in front of the TV, choked on his soda.
"So, how's everything in Point Place?" Donna asked. "Sorry I've been out of touch, the workload at college is, like, ten times what I'm used to."
So we caught each other up on the news. Everyone carefully avoided saying anything about my and Donna's broken engagement - but that wasn't news, anyway. Everyone knew.
I told Donna about Red's full recovery. Kelso told her about Police Academy. Fez told her about tricking the INS agent and becoming American. And then there came the awkward moment when Donna looked at Hyde and Jackie and said, "So how are you crazy kids doing?"
Hyde, master of bluntness, didn't hesitate. "We broke up."
Donna's eyes got wide, and she looked at me. I thought at this point she couldn't miss the significance of me sitting at Hyde's feet. I gave the tiniest nod; I wasn't sure if she saw and understood, but it was the best I could do there in the middle of everyone.
"Damn, Jackie!" Kelso said, looking shocked. "Were you going to tell me? I thought we were friends!"
"Wait, does this mean that Jackie is single now?" Fez said.
Jackie glared at everyone, especially Hyde. "We're only broken up until I make you see you're being an idiot."
"But right now, at this moment, Jackie, you are single?" Fez insisted.
She sighed, and tossed her hair back over her shoulders. "Yes, Fez. At this moment, I am single."
"All right." Fez stood up, and put his right hand over his heart. "Then at this moment, I declare my intention to court your affections."
Kelso, Donna and Jackie looked dumbstruck. Hyde, behind me, laughed softly. Naomi looked like she was fighting not to laugh, too.
"Fez," I said, "You're married to my sister."
Naomi buried her face in Donna's shoulder, and smothered her high-pitched giggles.
"It is true," Fez said, "But we all know that my marriage is an empty sham."
"All right," Jackie said suddenly. "Fez, you have my permission to court me." She gave Hyde a challenging look.
Fez bowed from the waist in Jackie's direction. "Thank-you, gracious lady." Smiling to himself, he grabbed his coat, hat and scarf, and walked out the door.
Late in the evening, after everyone had gone home, Donna came back over to talk to me alone. My parents had already gone to bed, and so had Hyde since he had an early shift at the hotel the next morning.
Donna found me in the kitchen, making a grilled-cheese sandwich for a bedtime snack. "Eric!" she said, taking a seat at the table, "You've got to tell me what's going on with Hyde and Jackie."
"Uh uh, you first." I put my sandwich on a plate and joined her at the table. "Naomi. Is she your...?"
"Yes. She's my girlfriend. You haven't told anyone, have you?"
I shook my head, and made the zipped-lips sign. "Not even Hyde."
"Thanks." Donna grabbed my sandwich and took a bite.
"Hey!" I snatched it back from her. "You can't steal my food anymore, we're not dating!"
"Sorry," she said around her mouthful, smiling and not looking sorry at all. She swallowed, then asked "Right, so what the hell happened to Hyde and Jackie? When did they break up?"
"Yesterday."
"Eric, this doesn't have anything to do with what we were talking about on Sunday, does it?"
I hesitated - but if I couldn't tell Donna, who could I tell? She already knew half the story. "Yeah," I said quietly, and her eyes widened.
"Oh my God, Eric. Details. You damn well better give me details."
I shrugged, feeling awkward. I didn't know how to tell this story. "After I talked to you I realized that I still loved him. So, Monday, I kinda... told him."
"Wow, Eric," Donna said quietly. "That was really brave of you."
I shrugged again.
"And that was it?" she prompted. "You said 'I love you Hyde,' he said 'I love you too, Forman,' and he dumped Jackie and now you're living happily ever after?" There was a definite tinge of disbelief in her voice.
"Sort of." If you cut out the parts with the sex and the yelling at each other and the crying, Donna's summary was basically accurate. "I'm not so sure about the happily ever after," I admitted. "Things are pretty weird now. Good, but weird."
"No kidding," Donna said, still sounding kind of awestruck. "Are you going to move out of your parents' house?"
"Yeah, I guess. We've kind of talked about it. That's one of the weird things... talking, I mean. I'm not sure how to talk to him now. It's like, everything's the same as it was before... but it's not."
"I know what you mean," Donna said, nodding.
"Wow, that's amazing, because I don't know what I mean," I said with a frustrated kind of laugh. I picked up the cheese sandwich to finish it off.
"Seriously, I remember it was like that when we first started dating. We'd been friends forever, but all of a sudden there was this whole new set of rules - it was really confusing. But we figured it out, right?"
"Yeah, yeah we did." And here we were, I realized, doing it again. Figuring out how to talk to each other under a whole new set of rules. At that moment I wanted to tell her I loved her - but I thought she might take it the wrong way, so I just offered her a glass of milk.