The Vicious One Presents CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH
(CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH)
Johnny Gomez: Welcome back, fight-fans! We've already killed off enough Nintendo stars already, but the bloodshed has just begun!
Nick Diamond: Next up on our Clash of the Nintendo Superstars, we've got two really weird fighters ready to square off. Tom Nook versus Mr. Resetti.
Johnny Gomez: To make our fighters feel comfortable, we designed the Deathmatch Ring to look like an area from Animal Crossing. Let's check it out!
(Shot of the Deathmatch Ring, which has Nook's Cranny, a house, a pond, and a couple of trees inside)
Nick Diamond: I guess you could sum up this kind of town in two words. 'Hell-Hole' (Nick and Johnny laugh) Let's get this fight started!
Johnny Gomez: In the Red Corner, a man who can sell like a barterer in the stock market, Tom Nook!
Tom Nook: (Walks out of his store) Oh, thank you. Thank you. It's my pleasure to be here, and my pleasure to remind you that Nook's Cranny is here for all your shopping needs!
Johnny Gomez: And in the Blue Corner, one groundhog you wouldn't like to meet on a bad day, Mr. Resetti! (Nothing happens) Mr. Resetti! (Nothing happens) Dammit! Where the hell is he?
Nick Diamond: Hold up, Johnny! You forgot the call-button! (Grabs a Gamecube, and presses the reset button)
Mr. Resetti: (Pops up in the ring) GAAAAH!!! WHO DID IT?!
Johnny Gomez: Mr. Resetti, people! (Audience goes wild)
Mr. Resetti: SHUT UP! Don't you fools see what has happened here?! Somebody reseted WITHOUT SAVING!
Tom Nook: Hello, Resetti. And how are you today?
Mr. Resetti: BACK OFF, RACCOON!
Tom Nook: Wha-how dare you! (Hits him with a shovel)
Nick Diamond: And this fight's under way!
Mr. Resetti: I'll make you pay for that! (Runs around Tom Nook like a ninny)
Tom Nook: Mr. Resetti, please relax. I can get you some coffee, if you'd like.
Mr. Resetti: TOO LATE! I HAD MY ESPRESSO BEFORE THE FIGHT! NOW, LET'S FIGHT ALREADY, DAMMIT!
Tom Nook: Ok! Ok! Geez, relax.
Mr. Resetti: (Shrieks like a girl, and proceeds to way-lay on Tom Nook)
Johnny Gomez: That groundhog has a very short temper!
Tom Nook: (Whacks Resetti in the 'special' spot with his tail)
Mr. Resetti: Yi-yi-chi-wa-wa! (Falls down holding his crotch)
Nick Diamond: Tom Nook just racked Resetti with his own tail!
Tom Nook: Marsupials tend to fight as well as anyone else. Remember this, Resetti.
Mr. Resetti: (Stabs Nook in the eye with his pick-axe) HA! Groundhogs tend to fight with pick-axes as well as anyone else!
Tom Nook: AHHHH!!! MY PRECIOUS EYE!
Mr Resetti: (Xena war cry and starts chasing Tom Nook around the ring)
Tom Nook: I know! (Shakes a tree, and a beehive falls from it)
Johnny Gomez: Uh oh! Tom Nook's just set off some angry bees!
Nick Diamond: Resetti better watch out!
Mr. Resetti: A Beehive?! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!
Tom Nook: (Points to Resetti. The bees begin attacking Resetti.)
Mr. Resetti: (Getting stung repeatedly) OW! OW! OWWWW!!! OW! STOP IT! STOP IT!!! STOOOOOOP!!!
Tom Nook: (Laughs) Have a nice day, Resetti!
Mr. Resetti: OOOOOOH! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! (Shakes the bees off and grabs a nearby bat) I'M GONNA HURT YOU VERY BADLY, NOOK!
Tom Nook: (Looks mortified) Oooooh, I'm so scaaaaared...
Mr. Resetti: (Screams like a girl again and throws the bat at Tom Nook, which gets caught by him)
Tom Nook: You're so predictable, Resetti! (Runs up to him and starts beating him with the bat)
Johnny Gomez: How much more punishment can Resetti take?!
Nick Diamond: I don't know, Johnny, but it looks like Resetti has had enough...
Mr. Resetti: THAT'S IT!!! (Grabs the bat, and snaps) YOU'VE MADE ME VERY ANGRY NOW! IT'S GO TIME!
Tom Nook: Ok, uhhhh...chill? Please?
Mr. Resetti: (Pulls out a chainsaw, and fires it up) I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MR. RESETTI!!! (Maims Tom Nook violently with his chainsaw)
Johnny Gomez: Oh, my God! Mr. Resetti has just annihilated Tom Nook!
Mills Lane: Mr. Resetti is the winner! (Bell rings)
Mr. Resetti: First of all, thank you for your support for me in this match. And I hope you all learned a valuable lesson. That you should ALWAYS save your progress when playing Animal Crossing.
Nick Diamond: Smart words from Mr. Resetti.
Mr. Resetti: And one more thing! Tom Nook had to learn the hard way that you should not make me angry, because...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry! I don't even like it myself! So, please, I beg you. Save your progress when your done playing.
Johnny Gomez: Ok, Resetti, we get your point-
Mr. Resetti: (Cutting Johnny off) AND ONE MORE THING!!! I don't mean to get this angry. It's just that it's my job, and I have to do this. Crazy world, eh, folks? (Laughs, and forces a smile) Now then, let me close by saying...STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, AND NEVER RESET!!! (Dives underground)
Nick Diamond: Thank God he shut up finally. (Wipes his forehead)
Johnny Gomez: Well, amongst that awkward moment, Mr. Resetti teaching us we all must never reset. Coming up next on Celebrity Deathmatch, it's our main bout between Mewtwo, Ganondorf, and Giga Bowser in the Dome of Devastation! Who will escape this chaotic match? Find out after this!
(CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH)
This is it! The Main Event is at hand! Read and review, and give me your thoughts on the next match. Who will walk out alive? Stay tuned!
(CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH)
Johnny Gomez: Welcome back, fight-fans! We've already killed off enough Nintendo stars already, but the bloodshed has just begun!
Nick Diamond: Next up on our Clash of the Nintendo Superstars, we've got two really weird fighters ready to square off. Tom Nook versus Mr. Resetti.
Johnny Gomez: To make our fighters feel comfortable, we designed the Deathmatch Ring to look like an area from Animal Crossing. Let's check it out!
(Shot of the Deathmatch Ring, which has Nook's Cranny, a house, a pond, and a couple of trees inside)
Nick Diamond: I guess you could sum up this kind of town in two words. 'Hell-Hole' (Nick and Johnny laugh) Let's get this fight started!
Johnny Gomez: In the Red Corner, a man who can sell like a barterer in the stock market, Tom Nook!
Tom Nook: (Walks out of his store) Oh, thank you. Thank you. It's my pleasure to be here, and my pleasure to remind you that Nook's Cranny is here for all your shopping needs!
Johnny Gomez: And in the Blue Corner, one groundhog you wouldn't like to meet on a bad day, Mr. Resetti! (Nothing happens) Mr. Resetti! (Nothing happens) Dammit! Where the hell is he?
Nick Diamond: Hold up, Johnny! You forgot the call-button! (Grabs a Gamecube, and presses the reset button)
Mr. Resetti: (Pops up in the ring) GAAAAH!!! WHO DID IT?!
Johnny Gomez: Mr. Resetti, people! (Audience goes wild)
Mr. Resetti: SHUT UP! Don't you fools see what has happened here?! Somebody reseted WITHOUT SAVING!
Tom Nook: Hello, Resetti. And how are you today?
Mr. Resetti: BACK OFF, RACCOON!
Tom Nook: Wha-how dare you! (Hits him with a shovel)
Nick Diamond: And this fight's under way!
Mr. Resetti: I'll make you pay for that! (Runs around Tom Nook like a ninny)
Tom Nook: Mr. Resetti, please relax. I can get you some coffee, if you'd like.
Mr. Resetti: TOO LATE! I HAD MY ESPRESSO BEFORE THE FIGHT! NOW, LET'S FIGHT ALREADY, DAMMIT!
Tom Nook: Ok! Ok! Geez, relax.
Mr. Resetti: (Shrieks like a girl, and proceeds to way-lay on Tom Nook)
Johnny Gomez: That groundhog has a very short temper!
Tom Nook: (Whacks Resetti in the 'special' spot with his tail)
Mr. Resetti: Yi-yi-chi-wa-wa! (Falls down holding his crotch)
Nick Diamond: Tom Nook just racked Resetti with his own tail!
Tom Nook: Marsupials tend to fight as well as anyone else. Remember this, Resetti.
Mr. Resetti: (Stabs Nook in the eye with his pick-axe) HA! Groundhogs tend to fight with pick-axes as well as anyone else!
Tom Nook: AHHHH!!! MY PRECIOUS EYE!
Mr Resetti: (Xena war cry and starts chasing Tom Nook around the ring)
Tom Nook: I know! (Shakes a tree, and a beehive falls from it)
Johnny Gomez: Uh oh! Tom Nook's just set off some angry bees!
Nick Diamond: Resetti better watch out!
Mr. Resetti: A Beehive?! IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!
Tom Nook: (Points to Resetti. The bees begin attacking Resetti.)
Mr. Resetti: (Getting stung repeatedly) OW! OW! OWWWW!!! OW! STOP IT! STOP IT!!! STOOOOOOP!!!
Tom Nook: (Laughs) Have a nice day, Resetti!
Mr. Resetti: OOOOOOH! NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! (Shakes the bees off and grabs a nearby bat) I'M GONNA HURT YOU VERY BADLY, NOOK!
Tom Nook: (Looks mortified) Oooooh, I'm so scaaaaared...
Mr. Resetti: (Screams like a girl again and throws the bat at Tom Nook, which gets caught by him)
Tom Nook: You're so predictable, Resetti! (Runs up to him and starts beating him with the bat)
Johnny Gomez: How much more punishment can Resetti take?!
Nick Diamond: I don't know, Johnny, but it looks like Resetti has had enough...
Mr. Resetti: THAT'S IT!!! (Grabs the bat, and snaps) YOU'VE MADE ME VERY ANGRY NOW! IT'S GO TIME!
Tom Nook: Ok, uhhhh...chill? Please?
Mr. Resetti: (Pulls out a chainsaw, and fires it up) I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MR. RESETTI!!! (Maims Tom Nook violently with his chainsaw)
Johnny Gomez: Oh, my God! Mr. Resetti has just annihilated Tom Nook!
Mills Lane: Mr. Resetti is the winner! (Bell rings)
Mr. Resetti: First of all, thank you for your support for me in this match. And I hope you all learned a valuable lesson. That you should ALWAYS save your progress when playing Animal Crossing.
Nick Diamond: Smart words from Mr. Resetti.
Mr. Resetti: And one more thing! Tom Nook had to learn the hard way that you should not make me angry, because...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry! I don't even like it myself! So, please, I beg you. Save your progress when your done playing.
Johnny Gomez: Ok, Resetti, we get your point-
Mr. Resetti: (Cutting Johnny off) AND ONE MORE THING!!! I don't mean to get this angry. It's just that it's my job, and I have to do this. Crazy world, eh, folks? (Laughs, and forces a smile) Now then, let me close by saying...STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, AND NEVER RESET!!! (Dives underground)
Nick Diamond: Thank God he shut up finally. (Wipes his forehead)
Johnny Gomez: Well, amongst that awkward moment, Mr. Resetti teaching us we all must never reset. Coming up next on Celebrity Deathmatch, it's our main bout between Mewtwo, Ganondorf, and Giga Bowser in the Dome of Devastation! Who will escape this chaotic match? Find out after this!
(CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH)
This is it! The Main Event is at hand! Read and review, and give me your thoughts on the next match. Who will walk out alive? Stay tuned!