TWO AND A HALF MONTHS LATER
[MONDAY, 1:39 PM, Prenuptial Pizza, TINO, TISH and LOR sit at a table. PIZZA GUY approaches.]
PIZZA GUY: Do you three, take this pizza, to have and to eat, in freshness or in staleness, as long as before it's eaten?
TINO, TISH and LOR: We do.
PIZZA GUY: Then, by the powers invested in me, I now pronounce you group and pizza. You may kiss the pie.
[TINO, TISH and LOR stare]
PIZZA GUY: Kiss it!
[LOR shrugs and gives it a little peck on the crust.]
PIZZA GUY: CONGRATULATIONS
[HE throws some rice at them and leaves]
TINO: Okay everybody, as you both know school starts tomorrow which I believe is the most opportune time to start looking for a replacement Carver.
TISH: A replacement Carver? Tino, you're being ridiculous.
LOR: Well, not that ridiculous, after all, Tish is just a replacement Lucy.
TISH: Wait. what? Who's Lucy?
LOR (suddenly getting choked up): Remember Lucy?
TINO (teary-eyed as well): How could I forget? Just a poor, kind girl who thought the ice was thick enough to go skating.
LOR: With her last breath she recommended 'that foreign girl', to be her replacement, and so we met you.
TISH: Um. sorry.
LOR: Oh, it's okay Tish. You're still here, and Lucy's up there looking down on us. (SHE begins to sob) I sure hope it sounds right to the Lord because it sure as hell doesn't sound right to me! (SHE runs away sobbing.)
[Awkward pause]
TINO: So. um. Prenuptial Pizza. kind of a misnomer. 'cause you know. I mean it's just weddings. no pre-nups. Oh hey look is that a window?
[LOR returns, having regained her composure.]
TISH: So. I ran into Carver the other day.
[LOR pays attention, TINO tries his hardest to act un-interested.]
LOR: Where?
TISH: I was renting a movie with my parents and he was there with some people.
TINO: What people?
TISH: Um. Brie, Colby, Pru and some other people.
TINO: Okay. well. good for him. Maybe when we get our new Carver, he won't be so quick to sell out his friends.
TISH: TINO! You're the one who didn't want to hang out with HIM!
TINO: HE KISSED MY MOM!
TISH: Yes, yes, it's weird, we all get it, okay?!?
[Another awkward pause, TINO folds his arms and looks away, TISH does the same, LOR glances back and forth at them both, nervously eating her pizza. It's silent until.]
TINO: Lucy would've have taken my side.
[TUESDAY, 8:39 AM, TISH walks into her Art Class, and sees CARVER sitting. SHE approaches him.]
TISH: Hey! Carver! How are you?
CARVER: Oh, hi there, Tish. I'm great! Good to see you. I saw you at the video store but I didn't really get to talk, seeing as I was with my new best friends, the popular folk. TISH: Yeah, I saw that.
CARVER: Yep, you know, they're really my type of people. All of them, they've got my kind of way of thinking you know?
TISH: Well, that's good.
CARVER: And, you know, like I said, I would've stopped to chat and you know. asked how people were doing. but seeing as I was with my friends.
TISH (nodding): Yeah, I understand.
[Pause, CARVER keeps glancing at TISH who is looking at her Art syllabus.]
CARVER: You know. so I mean. if you wanted to tell me how everyone's doing now or anything.. I mean you could?
TISH (glancing upward): Well, who were you thinking of, specifically?
CARVER: Oh, I mean, I didn't have anybody in particular. Well I mean.. How's. Tino, for instance?
TISH: He's doing pretty well.
CARVER: Good, good. I wasn't really even wondering, y'know? I just thought I'd ask to be. you know polite.
TISH: Okay.
CARVER: Good, yeah, okay. Alright. yeah. okay.
[CARVER and TISH glance at each other and then give a small nervous laugh which dissolves into yet another very awkward pause.]
[TUESDAY, 2:30, TINO and TISH talk in front of TINO's locker.]
TISH: I couldn't even talk to him! Look what your stupid fighting has done!
TINO: Hey! It's not stupid! Besides, don't you think that maybe if you couldn't talk to him your friendship is over? I mean, if you hadn't seen each other for a while and could talk, that'd be more convincing to me.
TISH: I just wish all this is over. I want Carver back.
VOICE: Your wish is my command. [LOR enters, and with her is a BOY.]
LOR: Greetings all, maybe I introduce. Carver.
TINO: That's not Carver.
LOR: Oh yes, he is. Introduce yourself.
CARVER II: I'm Carver Descartes, I like shoes, and girls and an extreme narcissist.
LOR: Huh?
CARVER II: Oh, I added that point. It's mean I'm vain and too into myself.
LOR: Nah. that's too big a word for Carver.
CARVER II: Oops, sorry.
TISH: Look, he can't be Carver.
LOR: Why not?
TISH: Well, for one thing he's Hispanic.
LOR: Way to be racist, Tish.
TINO: Now, wait, wait, wait. Let's test him. When's your birthday?
CARVER: November 8th.
TINO: When did we meet?
CARVER II: Um.. Oh! Lor introduced us when we were four!
TINO: He's good. When's my birthday?
CARVER II: Um. March. 17?
TINO: Oooh. Sorry.
LOR: Tino, that is your birthday.
TINO: I know, but the real Carver wouldn't have known that.
TISH: Look this is ridiculous! You just got some guy who's first name is Carver!
LOR: No, no, no. This guy's first name is like. Juan or something.
CARVER II: Actually it's Miguel.
LOR: Whatever. Anyways, he's a new kid and since he has no friends he'll pretty much do whatever we say. C'mon, Carver II, let's go get you a better pair of shoes.
[LOR and CARVER II leave.]
TINO: Well, he's done his research. but I don't like him.
TISH: Whyever not?
TINO: I don't know. sure he knows his Carver trivia, yet he's lacking a certain quality.
TISH: It's because he's not Carver. Face it Tino, you miss him.
TINO: I do no such thing! I'm done with him, okay? I'm never going to think, worry, or wonder about Carver again.
[LOR comes running with CARVER II in tow.]
LOR: I just heard from Percy. Carver's been arrested!
[MONDAY, 1:39 PM, Prenuptial Pizza, TINO, TISH and LOR sit at a table. PIZZA GUY approaches.]
PIZZA GUY: Do you three, take this pizza, to have and to eat, in freshness or in staleness, as long as before it's eaten?
TINO, TISH and LOR: We do.
PIZZA GUY: Then, by the powers invested in me, I now pronounce you group and pizza. You may kiss the pie.
[TINO, TISH and LOR stare]
PIZZA GUY: Kiss it!
[LOR shrugs and gives it a little peck on the crust.]
PIZZA GUY: CONGRATULATIONS
[HE throws some rice at them and leaves]
TINO: Okay everybody, as you both know school starts tomorrow which I believe is the most opportune time to start looking for a replacement Carver.
TISH: A replacement Carver? Tino, you're being ridiculous.
LOR: Well, not that ridiculous, after all, Tish is just a replacement Lucy.
TISH: Wait. what? Who's Lucy?
LOR (suddenly getting choked up): Remember Lucy?
TINO (teary-eyed as well): How could I forget? Just a poor, kind girl who thought the ice was thick enough to go skating.
LOR: With her last breath she recommended 'that foreign girl', to be her replacement, and so we met you.
TISH: Um. sorry.
LOR: Oh, it's okay Tish. You're still here, and Lucy's up there looking down on us. (SHE begins to sob) I sure hope it sounds right to the Lord because it sure as hell doesn't sound right to me! (SHE runs away sobbing.)
[Awkward pause]
TINO: So. um. Prenuptial Pizza. kind of a misnomer. 'cause you know. I mean it's just weddings. no pre-nups. Oh hey look is that a window?
[LOR returns, having regained her composure.]
TISH: So. I ran into Carver the other day.
[LOR pays attention, TINO tries his hardest to act un-interested.]
LOR: Where?
TISH: I was renting a movie with my parents and he was there with some people.
TINO: What people?
TISH: Um. Brie, Colby, Pru and some other people.
TINO: Okay. well. good for him. Maybe when we get our new Carver, he won't be so quick to sell out his friends.
TISH: TINO! You're the one who didn't want to hang out with HIM!
TINO: HE KISSED MY MOM!
TISH: Yes, yes, it's weird, we all get it, okay?!?
[Another awkward pause, TINO folds his arms and looks away, TISH does the same, LOR glances back and forth at them both, nervously eating her pizza. It's silent until.]
TINO: Lucy would've have taken my side.
[TUESDAY, 8:39 AM, TISH walks into her Art Class, and sees CARVER sitting. SHE approaches him.]
TISH: Hey! Carver! How are you?
CARVER: Oh, hi there, Tish. I'm great! Good to see you. I saw you at the video store but I didn't really get to talk, seeing as I was with my new best friends, the popular folk. TISH: Yeah, I saw that.
CARVER: Yep, you know, they're really my type of people. All of them, they've got my kind of way of thinking you know?
TISH: Well, that's good.
CARVER: And, you know, like I said, I would've stopped to chat and you know. asked how people were doing. but seeing as I was with my friends.
TISH (nodding): Yeah, I understand.
[Pause, CARVER keeps glancing at TISH who is looking at her Art syllabus.]
CARVER: You know. so I mean. if you wanted to tell me how everyone's doing now or anything.. I mean you could?
TISH (glancing upward): Well, who were you thinking of, specifically?
CARVER: Oh, I mean, I didn't have anybody in particular. Well I mean.. How's. Tino, for instance?
TISH: He's doing pretty well.
CARVER: Good, good. I wasn't really even wondering, y'know? I just thought I'd ask to be. you know polite.
TISH: Okay.
CARVER: Good, yeah, okay. Alright. yeah. okay.
[CARVER and TISH glance at each other and then give a small nervous laugh which dissolves into yet another very awkward pause.]
[TUESDAY, 2:30, TINO and TISH talk in front of TINO's locker.]
TISH: I couldn't even talk to him! Look what your stupid fighting has done!
TINO: Hey! It's not stupid! Besides, don't you think that maybe if you couldn't talk to him your friendship is over? I mean, if you hadn't seen each other for a while and could talk, that'd be more convincing to me.
TISH: I just wish all this is over. I want Carver back.
VOICE: Your wish is my command. [LOR enters, and with her is a BOY.]
LOR: Greetings all, maybe I introduce. Carver.
TINO: That's not Carver.
LOR: Oh yes, he is. Introduce yourself.
CARVER II: I'm Carver Descartes, I like shoes, and girls and an extreme narcissist.
LOR: Huh?
CARVER II: Oh, I added that point. It's mean I'm vain and too into myself.
LOR: Nah. that's too big a word for Carver.
CARVER II: Oops, sorry.
TISH: Look, he can't be Carver.
LOR: Why not?
TISH: Well, for one thing he's Hispanic.
LOR: Way to be racist, Tish.
TINO: Now, wait, wait, wait. Let's test him. When's your birthday?
CARVER: November 8th.
TINO: When did we meet?
CARVER II: Um.. Oh! Lor introduced us when we were four!
TINO: He's good. When's my birthday?
CARVER II: Um. March. 17?
TINO: Oooh. Sorry.
LOR: Tino, that is your birthday.
TINO: I know, but the real Carver wouldn't have known that.
TISH: Look this is ridiculous! You just got some guy who's first name is Carver!
LOR: No, no, no. This guy's first name is like. Juan or something.
CARVER II: Actually it's Miguel.
LOR: Whatever. Anyways, he's a new kid and since he has no friends he'll pretty much do whatever we say. C'mon, Carver II, let's go get you a better pair of shoes.
[LOR and CARVER II leave.]
TINO: Well, he's done his research. but I don't like him.
TISH: Whyever not?
TINO: I don't know. sure he knows his Carver trivia, yet he's lacking a certain quality.
TISH: It's because he's not Carver. Face it Tino, you miss him.
TINO: I do no such thing! I'm done with him, okay? I'm never going to think, worry, or wonder about Carver again.
[LOR comes running with CARVER II in tow.]
LOR: I just heard from Percy. Carver's been arrested!