Disclaimer: Still don't own anyone…
AN: I couldn't help it; I got inspired to do another chapter. These little dialogue ficlets are fun to write. Plus, people asked. And of course I can't help but to torture Integra and Alucard again. Although I think its more torture for Integra than Alucard.
In Enclosed Spaces With Vampires – Part II
"How can this happen to a person twice in one week?"
"At least we're not in a trunk this time."
"Oh, like this is better?!"
"Well, I guess that could depend on your point of view…"
"NO!! *smack* Keep your hands and any other appendages you might form to yourself. That's how I got hurt last time."
"You're one to talk, you tried to hold my hand last time."
"I did no such thing! And I can't believe you told Walter and Seras that I was!!! I thought Walter was going to blow a blood vessel!"
"Hehe, and Seras looked like she was going to pass out."
"God, I'll never get over the fact that Walter found us asleep in my trunk. How embarrassing…"
"Hmm, *snicker* what would the Queen say?"
"Why did you say it like that?"
"Is this growling a recently formed habit or have you always and I just never noticed?"
"Alucard!! You have not said or in some way hinted to any of the nobility about the trunk incident, HAVE YOU?!"
"Define 'hinted'."
"ALUCARD!!!!!"
"Owww, it echoes in here."
"I'm going to make you watch the Care Bears and My Little Ponies' movies over and over again until you can name them all and sing the theme songs!!!"
"Oh calm down Master, I did no such thing. Why would I want anything to do with those boring old men anyway?"
"For your sake you better not have said anything."
"Sooo, what are we gonna do?"
"I don't know…AH!!"
"What?"
"I have a meeting with the Knights in fifteen minutes!! CRAP!!"
"And explaining this would be much worse. Especially given your state of *cough* dress."
"Well this is, yet again, your fault. And STOP staring at me!!"
"Its my fault again?"
"Well who was being a voyeur hmmm?"
"I wasn't trying to be a voyeur per say, I was just-."
"Shut UP! I don't even want to know what you were going to say…"
"Some times you are no fun Master."
"What is that lodged there? A broom?"
"No, it's something metal. I could have broken a broomstick easily. Metal on the other hand…"
"You can break metal by look at it wrong…you just haven't eaten yet have you?"
"Bingo."
"What started this perverse habit of not eating once you get up?! It's most inconvenient."
"This coming from the woman who complained each time I got near her that my breath stunk. Ever since that incident I come torment you, then go have breakfast."
"Alucard, I'm flattered that you actually took something I said to heart, so to speak, but all you really needed was a breath mint or something."
"Serious?"
"*sigh* Yes, just a tictac will do. But stick with the orange ones, they're the best."
"That makes life easier."
"'Life'?"
"Well, you know what I mean."
"Uh-huh."
"Anyway, are these glass?"
"Yes…why?"
"I could just bust these then, right?"
"Nope."
"Nope?"
"They're shatterproof."
"Why the hell are they SHATTERPROOF?? In this room of all places?!?"
"Don't yell at me!! They were installed when I was little! I had nothing to do with it!!"
"Well, crap-"
"No Alucard don't lean there!"
"Wha- AAHH!! It's cold!"
"Turn it off! No the other-"
"Which way?!"
"Here, MOVE!!"
*CLANG*
"AAAAHHHH!"
"OH HO!! Who broke it this time?!"
"THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!!"
"Telling yourself that isn't going to make it any better!!"
"Alucard! Break down the door!!"
"And just how-
"Body slam the dumb thing!! Here I'll do it just move-"
"Don't shove! The floor's-"
*Both* "AAAAHHHH!!!"
Walter raced up stairs as fast as his aging legs could carry him, the Knights right behind him. There had just been a scream from Sir Integra's chambers followed by a loud *THUMP* of something heavy hitting the floor. Oh God, please let her be all right.
They burst into her chambers to find it empty. Walter heard something that sounded like groaning coming from the bathroom and promptly rushed over and threw the doors open. A collective gasp was heard from the group of men as they stared, gaping at the scene before them. The door to the shower stall had broken off and was in pieces on the floor. Along with what got their attention.
A dripping Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, wrapped in nothing but a towel, a soaked towel, straddling an equally drenched Alucard.
"S-SIR?"
Both vampire and mistress looked up startled, before Integra turned a horrible shade of red.
"T-This isn't how it looks!!!"
AN: Hehe, how will she explain this one?? Even I don't know, but I felt like being evil and leaving it there… R&R PLEASE!!!!