Tory and Ali Screw wit Lord of the Rings!

Disclaimer: We dun own them.  Neither do you unless you are J. R. R. Tolkien, who is dead.  Then you would be a ghost.  Never met a ghost, interesting experience to have, I bet.

A/N: This is a Mary-Sue! We are aware of that. We don't care if you don't like them.  Don't like it, don't read it.

And now to all the people who do want to read it: ENJOY!

A flash of bright light. Pain in my head. I WAS having a sleepover with my friend Ali, but I didn't know where I was.  Or where Ali was.

OOF! Something heavy landed on my stomach and groaned.  There she was!

"Get off me, Ali!"

            "Sorry!" She got off. "Where the hell are we?" I looked around.

            "Oh my god!" We seemed to be in a very grassy, hilly area that was a lot different from my basement in good old NJ. "How did we get here?"

            "A flash of bright light, or so it seems." Ali responded.

            "You saw that too." I thought for a minute, then groaned. "Oh no. I bet you a million dollars we got transported to a fantasy book/movie/tv show and we are Mary Sues!"

            "No! Not a Mary Sue! Yeah, you're probably right because of the flash of light.  All Mary-Sues start off with a flash of light or an equally unoriginal beginning."

            "What books have you been reading lately? We MIGHT want to figure out where in the whole world and beyond we ARE."

            "I've been reading the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Does that count?"

            "I don't think so. But maybe we aren't Mary Sue's.  To be a Mary Sue you have to have perfect hair and eyes with an unusual color and you have to be wearing perfect clothing to match the surroundings." I said.

            "I don't think pajamas cut it for 'matching' the surroundings, unless we are in the Babysitters Club. Any way, your hair is NOT perfect! It's all staticy and sticking up at the back." She started to laugh.

            "Your eyes are still poop brown so I wouldn't be talking!" I smirked.

            "Oh, you are going to pay for that!" Ali ran toward me.  I ran away from her and tripped on a wonderfully placed rock.  I rolled all the way down the hill, much undignified. Ali ran to the bottom, laughing so hard she could barely stand up.

            "Not funny!" I was covered in mud. Ali was not helping. She was gasping and laughing her ass off. So here I was in a weird place, in my pajamas and covered in mud!
            "You are so stupid! You are covered in mud!" she managed to gasp.
            "Hey, it's not MY fault the rock was there!" I got up frowning.

            "Well it was, tough shit!" Ali was staring at something behind me.

            "What is it?" I turned around.  There was something that resembled a big cloud of dust.

            "Run!" Ali yelled, grabbing my arm. We started running.

            "What is it?" I asked.   

            "It looks like medieval knights.  Have you been reading King Arthur?"

            "No! Hurry, they're catching up!" It was true.  The people, who were on horses, were gaining on us.  "Ahh!" We started up another hill. It was steep. Ali was running ahead of me and was leaving me behind. Gr. We got to the top of the hill and realized that the riders would have us surrounded in another minute.

            "Hurry!" Ali ran down the hill.  I ran after her, hitting myself on another poorly placed rock.  I fell down yet another hill and got my clothes covered in yet another layer of mud.  I hate life.

            I stopped abruptly, at the feet of what looked like a very large person from my perspective.

            "Tory, you idiot!" Ali whispered.  We were now surrounded by horses and very tall, very angry looking people.

            "We're in big shit now," I whispered back to Ali.

            The man in front of me started to move.

            "Maybe more than big shit." Ali said as the man lowered his very sharp weapon/object to point at my throat.