A/N Sorry for the long update, but I finally came up with an Irish drinking
song. It's not very good, but it's the best I could do. Um, note Reikakku
Bandit Girl. I might be changing the hoedown a bit. It was good, but I just
want to change Tamahome and Tasuki's parts. On with the fic!
---*---
TnM: Hello everyone and welcome back to Whose line is it anyway!
Tasuki: Hey! Who the hell are you?
TnM: I got tired of just sitting at my computer, so I decided to do the hosting!
Chichiri: But what happen to Drew, no da?
TnM: He's tied up and gagged right now in a broom closet. So anyway, as your new host I will be giving out the points and all that crap.
Tamahome: We're doomed.
TnM: Anyway, let's get start on a game called 'Party Quirks'. This is for Hotohori you're gonna be hosting a party, and Tamahome, Tasuki, and Chichiri, you're gonna be the guests. Each of you has a strange quirk or identity that's written in these envelopes. This is the first time they've ever seen them, and, Hotohori has to do is guess what the quirks are. Ah, so Hotohori, why don't you come over and start the party? Tamahome, Tasuki, and Chichiri, you line up over there, and I'll buzz you in with the doorbell here? And whenever you're ready, Hotohori, start the party.
Hotohori: Okay, I got dips and chips, I have enough beer-
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*
Hotohori: Oh that must be the guest! *opens fake door* Why hello Tamahome!
Tamahome: [Is fighting bad guys in slow motion] Hello there-*gets knocked over like he was punched then gets back up* *punches the air and does a round house kick in slow motion*
Hotohori: Um, the food is over there.
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*
Hotohori: *opens fake door* Tasuki! Glad you came!
Tasuki: [Austin Powers] *cheap British accent* Hello there, I hope you didn't invite Dr. Evil and his fembots. The party looks groovy-Oh my Lord! *runs up to Tamahome, kicks him and grabs his hair*
Hotohori: What are you doing to Tamahome?! O_O
Tasuki: It's not Tamahome it's a WOMAN baby! *tries to pull Tama's hair off*
Tamahome: *punches Tasuki with his fist and continues to fight slow motion*
Hotohori: I see you're fighting guys in slow motion.
*BUZZ*
Tamahome: *goes back to seat*
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*
Hotohori: *opens fake door*
Chichiri: [Tasuki] Hey! Where the *beep* did you put the *beepin'* sake?!
Hotohori: Glad you could make it Tasuki.
*BUZZ*
Chichiri: *goes back to seat*
Tasuki: Excuse me, but aren't there any girls here to shag? My mojo needs some excitement.
Hotohori: I never did like the movie Austin Powers.
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*
TnM: All right, a hundred points for Hotohori and a thousand for Tamahome, because I love him.
Tamahome: Am I getting paid for this?
TnM: No.
Tamahome: *pouts*
TnM: Now it's time for everyone's favorite 'Irish drinking song'! This for all four of you. Now we'll need a topic. What will it be?
(Audience shout out some suggestions.)
Kouryou Sanomi: A trip to the whorehouse!
TnM: Okay, a trip to the whorehouse. Now we will be needing a piano player, Kouryou Sanomi come on down!
Kouryou Sanomi: Yay! (a/n Note to Kouryou. I not sure if you play the piano or not, but in this fic you do.)
TnM: All right boys, the topic is a trip to the whorehouse, take it away!
(Music Plays)
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi! Oh Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!
Tamahome: I went to the whorehouse
Hotohori: To have a little fun
Chichiri: The place was really big
Tasuki: And the women had nice buns
Tamahome: I looked around the room
Hotohori: For the perfect ho
Chichiri: But some weren't available
Tasuki: Because they were putting on a show!
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!
Tamahome: Some women were screwing around
Hotohori: Some were doing a striptease
Chichiri: Others were in some rooms
Tasuki: Doing as the customers pleased!
Tamahome: Inside this one room
Hotohori: A whore was screwing a guy
Chichiri: What was really amazing though
Tasuki: She did it while eating pie!
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!
Tamahome: I met a familiar whore
Hotohori: I recognized her face
Chichiri: There was no doubt about it
Tasuki: I knew her from some place!
Tamahome: The whore was actually
Hotohori: The Seiryuu seishi Soi
Chichiri: She was screwing Nakago
Tasuki: And riding him like a cowboy!
All: Oh, Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi Oh Aiediedidiedidie di die di die di die!
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*
TnM: All right, a million points to all of you and an extra hundred points to Tasuki for the cowboy thing. Let's go on to a game... oh, I think I know just the people for this one. This is for Tasuki and Tamahome, and the game is called 'Moving People.' And let's wander on up into the audience right here. We're going to find you and you. Come on down. What's your name?
Miaka: *eating Popcorn* Oh, I'm Miaka!
TnM: Miaka, nice to meet you, and you do know that you're not suppose to bring food here right?
Miaka: I'm not?
TnM: No.
Miaka: Okay, I'll just put it away.
TnM: Now for another person, how about you? What's your name?
Mitsukake: Mitsukake.
TnM: Mitsukake. Miaka and Mitsukake come on down. Pick out your favorite improver. We're going to play a game called Moving People. And if you haven't seen this before, they're like mannequins. They can't move unless you move them. So you can put them in any position you want right now. So go ahead, put them in any position you want.
(Miaka bends both of Tamahome's arms to stick out forward, but also away from his sides. She then bends Tamahome forward by the waist. Mitsukake places Tasuki's right hand on his neck and moves his left leg forward. He places his left hand on his hip.)
TnM: Okay, that's good right there, we'll start like that. The game's called 'Moving People', and the scene is, Tasuki and Tamahome, you're two surfers who are fighting over a girl, and you've challenged each other to ride the big wave. Can't move unless you move them, so go ahead, guys.
(Tamahome is moved to stand upright again)
Tamahome: I'm buffing my surfboard.
Tasuki: You'd better catch up, buddy, I'm already on the wave. *his left hand is extended forward* And my pulse is racing. *he is turned to his left* Dig these moves. *his right hand is extended back*
(Tamahome's left hand is raised up, palm out, and he is turned toward Tasuki)
Tamahome: You think it's easy surfing on the palm... on the... I don't have a board and I'm surfing. I'm going to put my board in the water right now.
Tasuki: *Tasuki's hands are put on his rear end* My butt could not be tighter.
Tamahome: All right, watch me jump right onto my board! When I say "jump." *his right leg is moved forward*
Tasuki: *left hand is placed on his stomach* Stop. You're making my side hurt. All right, Jim, you want a competition?
Tamahome: All right.
Tasuki: I'll race you to the beach. First one there gets Susan.
Tamahome: All right.
Miaka: Hey, who's Susan?!
Tamahome: Relax Miaka, it's only pretend.
Miaka: Oh, okay!
Tasuki: And I'm not even going to look at you when I tell you that. *his legs are slowly moved forward*
Tamahome: What do you say we head out there?
Tasuki: Which way's that, my friend?
Tamahome: *right arm points to the right*
Tasuki: Oh.
Tamahome: Not where I'm looking, but where I'm pointing. *his head is turned to the right*
Tasuki: Over there. *Head is turned that way*
Tamahome: *right leg is moved out to the right, his left leg is moved, and his right leg is moved again onto the step* Bet you've never seen this style before.
(Tasuki's right arm is moved to push Tamahome)
Tamahome: Hey, what are you doing?
Tasuki: It's called cheating, my friend. I'm pushing you off my board.
Tamahome: *left arm knocks Tasuki's arm down* No pushing. Hey, watch it, I can take you.
(Tasuki's right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome.)
Tasuki: *right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome* Oh yeah? I've got a gun with four barrels. *right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome*
Tamahome: Well, watch this move. *he is bent to the side, away from Tasuki's hand*
Tasuki: Man, right out of my range.
Tamahome: Now... *right leg is lifted, swung around in the air, and placed on the ground so he is facing Tasuki*
Tasuki: This is called my Elvis, buddy. *his left arm is lifted to the same height as his right* And it's that long.
Tamahome: *Tamahome's left leg is lifted in the air and plopped down closer to Tasuki* I'm coming right onto your board and I'm knocking you off. *his left hand is placed on Tasuki's chest*
Tasuki: Shh. Speak no more. Quiet. *his right hand is placed on Tamahome's ear* Can you hear that? I can hear the ocean in your head. *his left hand is placed on Tamahome's other ear*
Tamahome: * right hand is placed to hold Tasuki's nose* Sorry, I just had to see if that was real.
Audience: *laughs and cheers*
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*
TnM: We'll be back to Whose Line is it anyway, so don't go anywhere! Heh, I always wanted to say that.
---*---
TnM: Hello everyone and welcome back to Whose line is it anyway!
Tasuki: Hey! Who the hell are you?
TnM: I got tired of just sitting at my computer, so I decided to do the hosting!
Chichiri: But what happen to Drew, no da?
TnM: He's tied up and gagged right now in a broom closet. So anyway, as your new host I will be giving out the points and all that crap.
Tamahome: We're doomed.
TnM: Anyway, let's get start on a game called 'Party Quirks'. This is for Hotohori you're gonna be hosting a party, and Tamahome, Tasuki, and Chichiri, you're gonna be the guests. Each of you has a strange quirk or identity that's written in these envelopes. This is the first time they've ever seen them, and, Hotohori has to do is guess what the quirks are. Ah, so Hotohori, why don't you come over and start the party? Tamahome, Tasuki, and Chichiri, you line up over there, and I'll buzz you in with the doorbell here? And whenever you're ready, Hotohori, start the party.
Hotohori: Okay, I got dips and chips, I have enough beer-
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*
Hotohori: Oh that must be the guest! *opens fake door* Why hello Tamahome!
Tamahome: [Is fighting bad guys in slow motion] Hello there-*gets knocked over like he was punched then gets back up* *punches the air and does a round house kick in slow motion*
Hotohori: Um, the food is over there.
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*
Hotohori: *opens fake door* Tasuki! Glad you came!
Tasuki: [Austin Powers] *cheap British accent* Hello there, I hope you didn't invite Dr. Evil and his fembots. The party looks groovy-Oh my Lord! *runs up to Tamahome, kicks him and grabs his hair*
Hotohori: What are you doing to Tamahome?! O_O
Tasuki: It's not Tamahome it's a WOMAN baby! *tries to pull Tama's hair off*
Tamahome: *punches Tasuki with his fist and continues to fight slow motion*
Hotohori: I see you're fighting guys in slow motion.
*BUZZ*
Tamahome: *goes back to seat*
*DING DONG* *DING DONG*
Hotohori: *opens fake door*
Chichiri: [Tasuki] Hey! Where the *beep* did you put the *beepin'* sake?!
Hotohori: Glad you could make it Tasuki.
*BUZZ*
Chichiri: *goes back to seat*
Tasuki: Excuse me, but aren't there any girls here to shag? My mojo needs some excitement.
Hotohori: I never did like the movie Austin Powers.
*BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ*
TnM: All right, a hundred points for Hotohori and a thousand for Tamahome, because I love him.
Tamahome: Am I getting paid for this?
TnM: No.
Tamahome: *pouts*
TnM: Now it's time for everyone's favorite 'Irish drinking song'! This for all four of you. Now we'll need a topic. What will it be?
(Audience shout out some suggestions.)
Kouryou Sanomi: A trip to the whorehouse!
TnM: Okay, a trip to the whorehouse. Now we will be needing a piano player, Kouryou Sanomi come on down!
Kouryou Sanomi: Yay! (a/n Note to Kouryou. I not sure if you play the piano or not, but in this fic you do.)
TnM: All right boys, the topic is a trip to the whorehouse, take it away!
(Music Plays)
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi! Oh Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!
Tamahome: I went to the whorehouse
Hotohori: To have a little fun
Chichiri: The place was really big
Tasuki: And the women had nice buns
Tamahome: I looked around the room
Hotohori: For the perfect ho
Chichiri: But some weren't available
Tasuki: Because they were putting on a show!
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!
Tamahome: Some women were screwing around
Hotohori: Some were doing a striptease
Chichiri: Others were in some rooms
Tasuki: Doing as the customers pleased!
Tamahome: Inside this one room
Hotohori: A whore was screwing a guy
Chichiri: What was really amazing though
Tasuki: She did it while eating pie!
All: OH! Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi!
Tamahome: I met a familiar whore
Hotohori: I recognized her face
Chichiri: There was no doubt about it
Tasuki: I knew her from some place!
Tamahome: The whore was actually
Hotohori: The Seiryuu seishi Soi
Chichiri: She was screwing Nakago
Tasuki: And riding him like a cowboy!
All: Oh, Aiediedidiedidiedidiedididiedi Oh Aiediedidiedidie di die di die di die!
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*
TnM: All right, a million points to all of you and an extra hundred points to Tasuki for the cowboy thing. Let's go on to a game... oh, I think I know just the people for this one. This is for Tasuki and Tamahome, and the game is called 'Moving People.' And let's wander on up into the audience right here. We're going to find you and you. Come on down. What's your name?
Miaka: *eating Popcorn* Oh, I'm Miaka!
TnM: Miaka, nice to meet you, and you do know that you're not suppose to bring food here right?
Miaka: I'm not?
TnM: No.
Miaka: Okay, I'll just put it away.
TnM: Now for another person, how about you? What's your name?
Mitsukake: Mitsukake.
TnM: Mitsukake. Miaka and Mitsukake come on down. Pick out your favorite improver. We're going to play a game called Moving People. And if you haven't seen this before, they're like mannequins. They can't move unless you move them. So you can put them in any position you want right now. So go ahead, put them in any position you want.
(Miaka bends both of Tamahome's arms to stick out forward, but also away from his sides. She then bends Tamahome forward by the waist. Mitsukake places Tasuki's right hand on his neck and moves his left leg forward. He places his left hand on his hip.)
TnM: Okay, that's good right there, we'll start like that. The game's called 'Moving People', and the scene is, Tasuki and Tamahome, you're two surfers who are fighting over a girl, and you've challenged each other to ride the big wave. Can't move unless you move them, so go ahead, guys.
(Tamahome is moved to stand upright again)
Tamahome: I'm buffing my surfboard.
Tasuki: You'd better catch up, buddy, I'm already on the wave. *his left hand is extended forward* And my pulse is racing. *he is turned to his left* Dig these moves. *his right hand is extended back*
(Tamahome's left hand is raised up, palm out, and he is turned toward Tasuki)
Tamahome: You think it's easy surfing on the palm... on the... I don't have a board and I'm surfing. I'm going to put my board in the water right now.
Tasuki: *Tasuki's hands are put on his rear end* My butt could not be tighter.
Tamahome: All right, watch me jump right onto my board! When I say "jump." *his right leg is moved forward*
Tasuki: *left hand is placed on his stomach* Stop. You're making my side hurt. All right, Jim, you want a competition?
Tamahome: All right.
Tasuki: I'll race you to the beach. First one there gets Susan.
Tamahome: All right.
Miaka: Hey, who's Susan?!
Tamahome: Relax Miaka, it's only pretend.
Miaka: Oh, okay!
Tasuki: And I'm not even going to look at you when I tell you that. *his legs are slowly moved forward*
Tamahome: What do you say we head out there?
Tasuki: Which way's that, my friend?
Tamahome: *right arm points to the right*
Tasuki: Oh.
Tamahome: Not where I'm looking, but where I'm pointing. *his head is turned to the right*
Tasuki: Over there. *Head is turned that way*
Tamahome: *right leg is moved out to the right, his left leg is moved, and his right leg is moved again onto the step* Bet you've never seen this style before.
(Tasuki's right arm is moved to push Tamahome)
Tamahome: Hey, what are you doing?
Tasuki: It's called cheating, my friend. I'm pushing you off my board.
Tamahome: *left arm knocks Tasuki's arm down* No pushing. Hey, watch it, I can take you.
(Tasuki's right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome.)
Tasuki: *right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome* Oh yeah? I've got a gun with four barrels. *right hand is extended outward, with his fingers pointed at Tamahome*
Tamahome: Well, watch this move. *he is bent to the side, away from Tasuki's hand*
Tasuki: Man, right out of my range.
Tamahome: Now... *right leg is lifted, swung around in the air, and placed on the ground so he is facing Tasuki*
Tasuki: This is called my Elvis, buddy. *his left arm is lifted to the same height as his right* And it's that long.
Tamahome: *Tamahome's left leg is lifted in the air and plopped down closer to Tasuki* I'm coming right onto your board and I'm knocking you off. *his left hand is placed on Tasuki's chest*
Tasuki: Shh. Speak no more. Quiet. *his right hand is placed on Tamahome's ear* Can you hear that? I can hear the ocean in your head. *his left hand is placed on Tamahome's other ear*
Tamahome: * right hand is placed to hold Tasuki's nose* Sorry, I just had to see if that was real.
Audience: *laughs and cheers*
*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ*
TnM: We'll be back to Whose Line is it anyway, so don't go anywhere! Heh, I always wanted to say that.