Tory and Ali Screw Wit LotR
A/N: Ok I have a trivia question for anyone that has seen TTT. What is the name of the kid that Aragorn talks to right before the battle of Helm's Deep? It's like Haleth son of Hamilmane or Hammermane or something, but I'm not sure and I need to know for (another) LotR fic. Please help! I'm really desperate! P.S: this is my faaaaavrite chap, although Ali thinks that I have a really sick mind. Well, screw her. (Just kidding, I love u Ali. Not like that.. You people have slashy minds.oh that was me.sorry.)Well, I love it!
Chapter 7: Fun with Swords
I was seriously depressed. Ali and Legolas were all over each other. It was disgusting. It's like: Go get a room, go get a life, go get a dark corner, go get something so I don't have to watch you eat each other's faces. Aragorn was gone. I wasn't even sure if he liked me at all. He was so silent. Ali was sure that he did, but I didn't think so. Maybe I could stay with Eomer. Then I could get away from Ali/Legolas and Eowyn drooling over Aragorn. Eomer seemed nice enough. He was putting on the charms quite hard. First me, then Ali, then back to me when Ali rejected him. But he was gone now too. Even Gandalf was gone! He was old, but he taught me some very useful staff tricks. There was NO ONE to talk to. I decided to go down to visit the women in the lower part of the fort.
I was put busy for about an hour playing with children and babies. I love kids. They cheer me up. Then, Ali came down to visit me.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm helping out the refuges. Look at them. They are terrified. They could all die tonight." The refugees were dirty and exhausted. A lot of them were crying because they had lost close friends and relatives to the Warg attack.
"They have a hard night ahead of them." Ali said sadly.
"I know."
"I was looking for you. Legolas wants you and me to come up to the tower and practice sword fighting." She smiled, thinking of her elf.
"Sure, whatever," I agreed.
~*~*~
"Low block, high block, parry, thrust! Very good, Ali! All right it's your turn, Tory. Low block, high block, parry, thrust! Excellent! You certainly are improving." Legolas was teaching us sword fighting. I had improved a lot in the hour and a half that we had been doing it for, but I needed a rest.
"Legolas, timeout! I need a break!" I slid to the floor. Ali followed suit and offered me a drink from her canteen. I sniffed it. It was water (thank God, you never know what kind of gross concoctions these Middle Earth people have!) I drank some. I didn't keel over choking. So far, so good!
"Hey, I'm going to look around downstairs. Gonna bust out of this joint and rustle up some grub. Emily style!" I grinned. Emily was a crazy friend of ours. Ali started laughing and Legolas looked confused. I left Ali to explain.
~*~*~
I was going down when I bumped into Eowyn. "Oh, hi Eowyn! What's going on?" She glared at me.
"What would YOU like to know?" She said nastily. I was taken aback.
"I was wondering where I could get some food." I said confusedly.
"Leave it all to the poor refugees. YOU certainly don't need any more food!" She walked away in a huff.
I stared after her. What was HER problem? I had a feeling it had to do with Aragorn and jealousy and maybe a bit of Ali. Well, girl, you can have him! It's not like he cares about me! I decided I wasn't hungry anymore. I headed toward a room that I knew was going to be empty. There was a wooden sword practice target thing in there that I would take my anger out on.
~*~*~
Block, Parry Thrust!! I thought. The wooden practice target probably wasn't going to be much of a target practice any more. Damn, I need anger management more than Eminem! I thrust my sword at it again, almost hacking it to bits.
Suddenly I heard a voice behind me that almost scared me to death. "You fight with a ferocity that most would love to have." I whirled around.
"Oh it's you." It was Aragorn. "You're back."
"You don't sound surprised." he said.
"No. Let's just say that I know the future." I said sarcastically.
"You seem to know much that we do not. I have seen it in your eyes. Ali also knows much." he said.
"Yeah, we do. But we cannot tell you what will happen. Ali already has, but we should not. It will disrupt the balance in your world." I said seriously.
"You know how this war will turn out?" he asked
"Yes. I will not tell you though."
"I understand." He was silent, then smirked. (A/N: Yes Aragorn smirked! Let's hear that collective gasp!) "Have you been having fun without me? I've seen you eyeing all those Rohirrim."
I gasped. "You arrogant pig! How dare you say that!" I rushed at him, sword drawn. Of course he is not heir to the throne of Gondor for nothing. He blocked my blow and placed one of his own. It mad my arm tingle. I blocked, parried and thrust, just like Legolas taught me (though I don't think that he thought I would be fighting his "king" (A/N: God that sounded slashy!))Aragorn stumbled backward. Ha! I was going to teach THIS arrogant pig a lesson! He came up suddenly with a strong blow. He was faking when he stumbled backward. That.
A sword snaked up to my throat. "You bastard!"
"You are very forward for a girl with a sword at her throat. I could kill you." He smirked again. He was holding me so that I had my back to him and the sword was at my throat. I couldn't move without cutting myself.
"You wouldn't. You wouldn't kill me." I retorted.
"Oh yes? What makes you so sure?" He pressed the blade to my throat making beads of blood run along the sword. I gasped. It didn't hurt that much but I never expected this from Aragorn.
"You would kill me?" I sensed him smile. He knew I was less sure.
"I might. Take back that 'arrogant pig' comment."
"No!"
"Take it back!" Aragorn pressed the blade harder. More of my blood ran down the shiny silver, staining it. It hurt now.
"You must redeem yourself first."
"How am I to do that?"
"Figure it out!" I was getting mad again.
"Don't talk to me that way!" He pressed the sword to a non-bleeding part of my throat.
"I don't know! Do something nice to me! Let me go!" I yelled.
"You should not be so assertive. I am the one with the sword." Thank you, Captain Obvious. "I know what I can do. But I am not sure if it will redeem me." He spun me around, keeping the sword to my throat. I was now looking into his eyes. They were unreadable. I stared defiantly back. He kissed me. It was a hard and demanding kiss. It was also WOW! But I wasn't going to let him know that.
He looked at me. "What do you think?"
"I think that you aren't as good a kisser as they think you are." I said.
"Is that so? Well we will just have to prove them wrong." Aragorn kissed me again. Real kiss. Wow.
"Now what do you think?" He smirked again.
"Stop smirking, you egotistical." I didn't have time to finish my sentence. He swung me around. My head was parallel to the ground.
"Remember, I still have the sword."
"How could you."
"I know you like it. Don't lie to me."
"What if I do? What's it to you?" I replied.
"You should not ask questions. You might make me angry and then I will have to punish you." I shivered. He sounded so. Oh My God. I loved it.
"You want punishment?" he continued.
"No."
"Don't lie to me."
"Yes?" I am a sick, sick person. He pressed the sword to my throat harder. My blood was running freely now. It stained his cloak as he kissed me again. Bloody amazing kisser. We continued like that for about ten minutes when I realized how late it was getting.
"Aragorn." He didn't answer. He was mumbling Elvish in my ear. Do you know how sexy that is? "Aragorn, Ali will be looking for me. I have to go." He stood up. "I'll see you later then?"
"Yes. Sooner rather than later, I hope." He replied.
~*~*~
I walked into the Great Hall. Ali saw me and she gasped, running over to me. Legolas was right behind.
"Oh My God!! What happened? Are you hurt? What's wrong?" She said hysterically. I hadn't realized how I actually looked. My throat was bleeding and blood stained my collar. "Who did it? I'll kill them!"
"Aragorn." I said.
"That mother-fucking.." Ali said.
"Where is he?" Legolas demanded.
"In the sword room. Why?" I said, confused. Legolas ran off. What was he doing? Oh no! He thought Aragorn did it to hurt me!
"Legolas wait! You've got it wrong!" But he was already gone. "Ali, we have to go after them! He might hurt Aragorn!" I said starting to run off. She grabbed me.
"What's it to you? He hurt you. He's going to pay!" Ali said furiously.
"No! It wasn't like that! Here, come on, we have to go!" I explained it to her as we ran up the stairs. We got to the top of a staircase when she grabbed me.
"You liked it?" She asked with her mouth open. I nodded. "You sick, sick person. You are so SICK! I am diseased just even thinking about it!" I grinned.
"It was fun as hell though! Come on we have to before they kill each other!" I started to run up yet another staircase with Ali right behind.
~*~*~*~ From Legolas's POV sort of:
Legolas ran up the stairs to the sword room. His mind was in turmoil. This was his one of his closest friends and he had done something to hurt a maiden. How could he have done this? I thought I knew him so well, Legolas thought. Tears blinded his eyes. How can he live with this? Legolas burst into the sword room. There was Aragorn, cleaning innocent blood off of his sword, looking normal.
"You are worse than a Yrch." Legolas said bitterly. Aragorn looked up.
"Oh, hello Legolas," he said and went back to cleaning his sword.
"How can you stand there like that with an innocent maiden's blood on your sword and tell me 'hello'?" Legolas demanded. Aragorn looked down at his sword then back at his friend.
"No, Legolas, you misunderstand-" he was cut off.
"How can I misunderstand? Tory came down into the Great Hall with blood all over herself. I asked her who did it and she said you. What is there to understand?" Legolas was advancing on Aragorn with his swords drawn.
"Legolas, she liked it!"
"You main her and you say she liked it!" Legolas had his swords to Aragorn's throat now.
"She did! Go ask her!" Aragorn protested futilely. The door burst open. It was the girls.
~*~*~*~
"Drop your sword, Legolas! Don't you dare hurt him!" I shouted. Legolas looked surprised.
"He has hurt you! Don't you care?" Legolas said forcefully. He didn't move his sword one inch.
"What? I wanted him to! I liked it!" I shouted, blushing.
"What?!" Legolas looked confused. Aragorn smirked.
"I told you!" he said, "This 'innocent maiden' you think Tory is may not be as innocent as you think." Legolas looked queasy.
"You liked it?" he asked stupidly.
"Yes."
"Isn't she disgusting?" Ali said. "Oh my god, you people are so sick! Come on Legolas; let's leave these sick people to their sadistic minds!" Ali and Legolas walked out holding hands and looking lurgy. Aragorn walked over to me.
"You liked it?" he asked.
"Yes! How many times do I have to say it?" I demanded.
"Would you like more?" he asked.
"Yes, just without the sword. My neck is a little sore." I said.
"All right then," he said as he pulled me into another kiss. This Middle-Earth business was great! Swords are VERY good things.
A/N: Ok I have a trivia question for anyone that has seen TTT. What is the name of the kid that Aragorn talks to right before the battle of Helm's Deep? It's like Haleth son of Hamilmane or Hammermane or something, but I'm not sure and I need to know for (another) LotR fic. Please help! I'm really desperate! P.S: this is my faaaaavrite chap, although Ali thinks that I have a really sick mind. Well, screw her. (Just kidding, I love u Ali. Not like that.. You people have slashy minds.oh that was me.sorry.)Well, I love it!
Chapter 7: Fun with Swords
I was seriously depressed. Ali and Legolas were all over each other. It was disgusting. It's like: Go get a room, go get a life, go get a dark corner, go get something so I don't have to watch you eat each other's faces. Aragorn was gone. I wasn't even sure if he liked me at all. He was so silent. Ali was sure that he did, but I didn't think so. Maybe I could stay with Eomer. Then I could get away from Ali/Legolas and Eowyn drooling over Aragorn. Eomer seemed nice enough. He was putting on the charms quite hard. First me, then Ali, then back to me when Ali rejected him. But he was gone now too. Even Gandalf was gone! He was old, but he taught me some very useful staff tricks. There was NO ONE to talk to. I decided to go down to visit the women in the lower part of the fort.
I was put busy for about an hour playing with children and babies. I love kids. They cheer me up. Then, Ali came down to visit me.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm helping out the refuges. Look at them. They are terrified. They could all die tonight." The refugees were dirty and exhausted. A lot of them were crying because they had lost close friends and relatives to the Warg attack.
"They have a hard night ahead of them." Ali said sadly.
"I know."
"I was looking for you. Legolas wants you and me to come up to the tower and practice sword fighting." She smiled, thinking of her elf.
"Sure, whatever," I agreed.
~*~*~
"Low block, high block, parry, thrust! Very good, Ali! All right it's your turn, Tory. Low block, high block, parry, thrust! Excellent! You certainly are improving." Legolas was teaching us sword fighting. I had improved a lot in the hour and a half that we had been doing it for, but I needed a rest.
"Legolas, timeout! I need a break!" I slid to the floor. Ali followed suit and offered me a drink from her canteen. I sniffed it. It was water (thank God, you never know what kind of gross concoctions these Middle Earth people have!) I drank some. I didn't keel over choking. So far, so good!
"Hey, I'm going to look around downstairs. Gonna bust out of this joint and rustle up some grub. Emily style!" I grinned. Emily was a crazy friend of ours. Ali started laughing and Legolas looked confused. I left Ali to explain.
~*~*~
I was going down when I bumped into Eowyn. "Oh, hi Eowyn! What's going on?" She glared at me.
"What would YOU like to know?" She said nastily. I was taken aback.
"I was wondering where I could get some food." I said confusedly.
"Leave it all to the poor refugees. YOU certainly don't need any more food!" She walked away in a huff.
I stared after her. What was HER problem? I had a feeling it had to do with Aragorn and jealousy and maybe a bit of Ali. Well, girl, you can have him! It's not like he cares about me! I decided I wasn't hungry anymore. I headed toward a room that I knew was going to be empty. There was a wooden sword practice target thing in there that I would take my anger out on.
~*~*~
Block, Parry Thrust!! I thought. The wooden practice target probably wasn't going to be much of a target practice any more. Damn, I need anger management more than Eminem! I thrust my sword at it again, almost hacking it to bits.
Suddenly I heard a voice behind me that almost scared me to death. "You fight with a ferocity that most would love to have." I whirled around.
"Oh it's you." It was Aragorn. "You're back."
"You don't sound surprised." he said.
"No. Let's just say that I know the future." I said sarcastically.
"You seem to know much that we do not. I have seen it in your eyes. Ali also knows much." he said.
"Yeah, we do. But we cannot tell you what will happen. Ali already has, but we should not. It will disrupt the balance in your world." I said seriously.
"You know how this war will turn out?" he asked
"Yes. I will not tell you though."
"I understand." He was silent, then smirked. (A/N: Yes Aragorn smirked! Let's hear that collective gasp!) "Have you been having fun without me? I've seen you eyeing all those Rohirrim."
I gasped. "You arrogant pig! How dare you say that!" I rushed at him, sword drawn. Of course he is not heir to the throne of Gondor for nothing. He blocked my blow and placed one of his own. It mad my arm tingle. I blocked, parried and thrust, just like Legolas taught me (though I don't think that he thought I would be fighting his "king" (A/N: God that sounded slashy!))Aragorn stumbled backward. Ha! I was going to teach THIS arrogant pig a lesson! He came up suddenly with a strong blow. He was faking when he stumbled backward. That.
A sword snaked up to my throat. "You bastard!"
"You are very forward for a girl with a sword at her throat. I could kill you." He smirked again. He was holding me so that I had my back to him and the sword was at my throat. I couldn't move without cutting myself.
"You wouldn't. You wouldn't kill me." I retorted.
"Oh yes? What makes you so sure?" He pressed the blade to my throat making beads of blood run along the sword. I gasped. It didn't hurt that much but I never expected this from Aragorn.
"You would kill me?" I sensed him smile. He knew I was less sure.
"I might. Take back that 'arrogant pig' comment."
"No!"
"Take it back!" Aragorn pressed the blade harder. More of my blood ran down the shiny silver, staining it. It hurt now.
"You must redeem yourself first."
"How am I to do that?"
"Figure it out!" I was getting mad again.
"Don't talk to me that way!" He pressed the sword to a non-bleeding part of my throat.
"I don't know! Do something nice to me! Let me go!" I yelled.
"You should not be so assertive. I am the one with the sword." Thank you, Captain Obvious. "I know what I can do. But I am not sure if it will redeem me." He spun me around, keeping the sword to my throat. I was now looking into his eyes. They were unreadable. I stared defiantly back. He kissed me. It was a hard and demanding kiss. It was also WOW! But I wasn't going to let him know that.
He looked at me. "What do you think?"
"I think that you aren't as good a kisser as they think you are." I said.
"Is that so? Well we will just have to prove them wrong." Aragorn kissed me again. Real kiss. Wow.
"Now what do you think?" He smirked again.
"Stop smirking, you egotistical." I didn't have time to finish my sentence. He swung me around. My head was parallel to the ground.
"Remember, I still have the sword."
"How could you."
"I know you like it. Don't lie to me."
"What if I do? What's it to you?" I replied.
"You should not ask questions. You might make me angry and then I will have to punish you." I shivered. He sounded so. Oh My God. I loved it.
"You want punishment?" he continued.
"No."
"Don't lie to me."
"Yes?" I am a sick, sick person. He pressed the sword to my throat harder. My blood was running freely now. It stained his cloak as he kissed me again. Bloody amazing kisser. We continued like that for about ten minutes when I realized how late it was getting.
"Aragorn." He didn't answer. He was mumbling Elvish in my ear. Do you know how sexy that is? "Aragorn, Ali will be looking for me. I have to go." He stood up. "I'll see you later then?"
"Yes. Sooner rather than later, I hope." He replied.
~*~*~
I walked into the Great Hall. Ali saw me and she gasped, running over to me. Legolas was right behind.
"Oh My God!! What happened? Are you hurt? What's wrong?" She said hysterically. I hadn't realized how I actually looked. My throat was bleeding and blood stained my collar. "Who did it? I'll kill them!"
"Aragorn." I said.
"That mother-fucking.." Ali said.
"Where is he?" Legolas demanded.
"In the sword room. Why?" I said, confused. Legolas ran off. What was he doing? Oh no! He thought Aragorn did it to hurt me!
"Legolas wait! You've got it wrong!" But he was already gone. "Ali, we have to go after them! He might hurt Aragorn!" I said starting to run off. She grabbed me.
"What's it to you? He hurt you. He's going to pay!" Ali said furiously.
"No! It wasn't like that! Here, come on, we have to go!" I explained it to her as we ran up the stairs. We got to the top of a staircase when she grabbed me.
"You liked it?" She asked with her mouth open. I nodded. "You sick, sick person. You are so SICK! I am diseased just even thinking about it!" I grinned.
"It was fun as hell though! Come on we have to before they kill each other!" I started to run up yet another staircase with Ali right behind.
~*~*~*~ From Legolas's POV sort of:
Legolas ran up the stairs to the sword room. His mind was in turmoil. This was his one of his closest friends and he had done something to hurt a maiden. How could he have done this? I thought I knew him so well, Legolas thought. Tears blinded his eyes. How can he live with this? Legolas burst into the sword room. There was Aragorn, cleaning innocent blood off of his sword, looking normal.
"You are worse than a Yrch." Legolas said bitterly. Aragorn looked up.
"Oh, hello Legolas," he said and went back to cleaning his sword.
"How can you stand there like that with an innocent maiden's blood on your sword and tell me 'hello'?" Legolas demanded. Aragorn looked down at his sword then back at his friend.
"No, Legolas, you misunderstand-" he was cut off.
"How can I misunderstand? Tory came down into the Great Hall with blood all over herself. I asked her who did it and she said you. What is there to understand?" Legolas was advancing on Aragorn with his swords drawn.
"Legolas, she liked it!"
"You main her and you say she liked it!" Legolas had his swords to Aragorn's throat now.
"She did! Go ask her!" Aragorn protested futilely. The door burst open. It was the girls.
~*~*~*~
"Drop your sword, Legolas! Don't you dare hurt him!" I shouted. Legolas looked surprised.
"He has hurt you! Don't you care?" Legolas said forcefully. He didn't move his sword one inch.
"What? I wanted him to! I liked it!" I shouted, blushing.
"What?!" Legolas looked confused. Aragorn smirked.
"I told you!" he said, "This 'innocent maiden' you think Tory is may not be as innocent as you think." Legolas looked queasy.
"You liked it?" he asked stupidly.
"Yes."
"Isn't she disgusting?" Ali said. "Oh my god, you people are so sick! Come on Legolas; let's leave these sick people to their sadistic minds!" Ali and Legolas walked out holding hands and looking lurgy. Aragorn walked over to me.
"You liked it?" he asked.
"Yes! How many times do I have to say it?" I demanded.
"Would you like more?" he asked.
"Yes, just without the sword. My neck is a little sore." I said.
"All right then," he said as he pulled me into another kiss. This Middle-Earth business was great! Swords are VERY good things.