Neutral Element: HEY GUYS! Well here's the second chapter, I can't really say between the first two chapters which one is better, they both kinda are okay I guess. Just a little. Well read on and hope you enjoy. But before we move on, I have some people here. They are big fans of Yu-gi-oh, and other animes of all sorts, but they've been giving me suggestions on my story the whole way. (Well one of them more then the other anyway.)
Say hi you guys!
Kimmy/Kura: (Silence.)
N.E: Okay, my friends are a bunch of dumbasses, all right moving on-
Kimmy: (Death glare)
N.E: Oh crap someone's PMS'ing.
Kura: -_-U Dude that was so wrong.
Kimmy: (Evilest of death glares)
N.E: Hey I was just kidding! I'm not the fist to use the PMS jokes man! Common it's not my fault! What am I supposed to do? INTRO YOURSELVES!
Kura: -_-U Uh, Hi.
Kimmy: (Preparing for battle.)
N.E: I see, that's how it's going to be huh? We'll continue this after the chapter!
Disclaimer: You know I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything related to it, so stop asking me.
Joey: This is so excellent! I can't believe this guy is actually going to fly us to the Amazon directly too!!!
Kaiba: Ooh, "excellent," I see you've learned to apply three syllable words Wheeler.
Joey: I'd be quiet if I were you Kaiba.
Kaiba: And making threats too. Impressive.
Isis: Can't you two stop fighting for at least 5 minutes?
Group 1 was well on their way to the Amazon, and in a few hours they would be landing. Soon they would be on their way to finding whatever the, *ahem*, location device was pulling towards. However, at the moment, something just didn't seem right.
Bakura: (Thinking to himself) Only a few hours left and we'll be well on our way to finding the first of the 10 sacred items. Maybe the ring will be back I my possession!
Yami: (Sleeping.)
Kaiba: (Typing furiously on laptop.)
Tea: (Fidgeting nervously) I don't know you guys, I just have this really bad feeling.
Bakura: Geez! Will you stop worrying? What could possibly go wrong?
Just as Tea was about to react, the plane started rocking back an fourth sputtering unassuring sounds from the engine.
Yami: (Being rocked awake by the plane.) Huh?….wha?……..NO! MY LIFE IS A LIE!!!! O_O
Everyone: (Staring) O_O
Pilot: (Steps out of cockpit before anyone can react.) Uhhhh, folks there's been a slight error, and the situation calls for evacuation right away.
Everyone: EVACUATION?!?!?!
Tea: HA! I told y-
Everyone except Tea: SHUT UP TEA!!!
Kaiba: (Grabs the pilot and shakes him) WHAT KIND OF EVACUTAION?
Pilot: I-if y-you w-w-would stop sh-sha-shaking meee- (Sunglasses and hood fall of due to the excessive shaking.)
EVERYONE: GASP!!!!! …………. YOU!!!!
Bakura: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!
Joey: ISIS YOU'VE GOT EXPLAINIG TO DO!!!
Pilot: There's no time for this we gotta get off of this plane soon!
*** A few minutes later***
Everyone: (Is strapped up ready to go.)
Pilot: Okay people now!!!
Isis, Joey, Tea, Kaiba, Pilot: (Jump.)
Bakura: So, pharaoh, we meet again-
Yami: (Pushes Bakura out of the plane.)
Bakura: Youuuu little bastaaaaaard! (Sound fades)
Yami: (Jumps and looks out at teammates)
Kaiba: (Passes by)
Joey, Tea, and Isis: ^_^ Woo-Hoo! Yeah! (Having time of their lives.)
Bakura: (If, you could picture what a life-size rag doll would look like sky diving, well then you'd have Bakura.)
Yami: (Cringes) Is that twist even humanly possible?
Bakura: (((X))_((X))) [Guess not.]
Kaiba: (Thinking to himself) Hmmm, it seems that it's time to release the parachutes. We're reaching prime altitude. ALL RIGHT PEOPLE! RELEASE YOUR PARACHUTES NOW!
Yami/ Pilot: (Release parachutes)
Bakura: ((*)_(*)) Ohhohwhoaoakaaay! (Still defying the limits of human anatomy.)
Tea, Isis, and Joey: (Don't hear.)
Tea: ^_^ This is so great!!!
As soon as Tea said this, her leg flung out due to her overwhelming joy. Normally, this would be fine if Joey's head didn't happen to be in range of her foot.
Kaiba: (Releases parachute) -_-…..O_O What the hell?!?! (Looks up) (O_O) Wheeler get your ass out of my parachute!!!!!
Joey: X_X (Currently un conscience, and tangled in Kaiba's parachute.)
Kaiba: (Quickly takes out pocket knife and starts hacking away at the cables.) Halfway there. (Talking to himself)
Tea: WAIT! KAIBA!!! DON'T CUT JOEY OFF!! IF YOU DO HE WON'T LAND SAFTLY!!!
Kaiba: AND THIS WOULD CONCERN ME BECAUSE……….?
Tea: _ KAIBAAAA!!!!!
Kaiba: HEY DON'T CRAP YOUR PANTS BECAUSE OF ME! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KNONCKED HIM OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Tea: (Pause) _ SHUT UP!
Kaiba: (Done cutting off Joey. Releases emergency parachute.)
Joey: *_* Huh…what's going on? (O_O) HOLY MMPH MMMMMMMPH!
When Kaiba released his second parachute, Joey was not far away; therefore he got a mouthful of emergency parachute. But now, since he was tangled in Kaiba's first parachute, he'd gained weight; hence, he was falling a lot faster then anyone else. Just take a guess who he was right above…
Kaiba: Ahh…safe. O_O Huh! WHAT THE F***?! WHEELER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU ?!?!?
Joey: MMPH MMPH MMPHHHHHHH!!!!! (Joey releases his own parachute.)
Kaiba: (O_O) NO YOU ASS!!! DON'T DO THAT IT ONLY MAKES IT WORSE!!!
Joey: (Releases emergency parachute directly after.)
Kaiba: (Catches a glimpse of the FAST approaching trees) (O)_(O) AHHH #%^#$@^%*^&^*(^*^$^&*(*&$#$@&%%!!!!!
Tea: KAIBA!
Isis: -_- You can't really blame him though, I mean look who he's dealing with.
Tea: -_-U Good point.
Yami: Okay this is it! We land now!!!
One by one, the group landed in the forest near river rapids.
Isis, Tea, Yami, and Pilot: (Perfect landing near river.)
Yami: Where are the others?
Isis: Here they come.
The group watched as a huge flying ball of fabric (Kaiba/Joey) came hurdling towards the Earth.
Huge ball of parachute fabric: MMPH MMPH MMPH MMMMMMPH MMPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* SPLASH *
Isis: -_-U I'm going to pretend that the parachute fabric distorted their words and the words I thought I heard weren't really what I thought.
Huge ball of parachute fabric: (Currently flowing down the river rapids.)
Tea: Common you guys! We have to go see if they're all right!
The four people ran along the riverbank chasing after the two boys; but luckily they didn't have to go too far because they became tangled in a rock formation later on in a calmer part of the river.
Isis, Tea, Yami, and Pilot: (Yank with all their strength and pull them ashore.)
Joey: (Heard cussing from inside parachutes) Ah! sun of a-
Kaiba: BITCH!!! DIE YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!!! (Is obviously untangled first, now trying to suffocate Joey.)
Pilot: Yo, brother chill out. (Places hand on Kaiba's shoulder)
Kaiba: (Turns around) AND YOU!!!!! (Throws pilot into parachute mess and starts suffocating both of the a the same time.)
Pilot/ Joey: MMMMMMMPH!!!!!
Tea: (Trying desperately to pry him off) Easy there Kaiba! Calm down!
Isis: (Helping) Relax!
Kaiba: (Lays off but still super pissed.) ALRIGHT! BUT WHAT THE HELL WAS Y/M OF ALL THE FRICKING PEOPLE DOING FLYING A F***ING PLANE?!?!?!?!?!?!
Bakura: THAT ASS MASTER ALMOST KILLED US ALL!!!
Tea: Huh? Bakura where are you? (Looks up)
Bakura: (Tangled remains in a tree.)
Tea: -_-U Oh.
Yami: Isis aren't you supposed to be monitoring him?! What happened?!
Isis: Well, you see, it's a long story.
Everyone except Isis and Y/M: -_-
Isis: What, it is?
Everyone except Isis and Y/M: --_--
Isis: (Breaks out in tears) I had no other choice!!! You can't blame me!!! He was so evil that, that I, that I had to…
Yami: Had to what?
Isis: I'd tried everything, and nothing was working!!! He was just too evil…. So I took the risk and put him on EXPERIMENTAL DRUGS!!! ;_;
Everyone except her and Y/M: O_O Experimental drugs?!?!
Isis: Yes, but they were so potent and the doctor had no idea what kind of effect they'd have on people! As soon as he took them, he jumped out of the doctor's window,
screaming something about a mafia conspiracy of some sort, and I never saw him after that!!! (Sobbing more) I know I should have looked for him, but I was so tired of looking after both he and Malik!
Joey: O_O I see.
Tea: O_O Well, at least we know where he is now. (Everyone turns to look at him)
Y/M: Hey.
Tea: (O)_(O) Just um, one question. Uhh, why were you flying planes of all the things that you could be doing?
Y/M: You see,that is a good question, one to which I have an answer. These drugs opened my eyes man. I was always so caught up on destroying the world and what not, the stress level was just through the roof. That is until I caught onto the vibe.
Joey: O_O (Whispers to Yami) What the hell is he talking about?
Yami: O_O I'm not sure I even want to know.
Y/M: (In waaaaay to calm of a voice.) The mystical vibes that is…..the mystical vibes of the universe. It's all about chilling out and being able to tune into the frequencies, you know? Just to let you body flow to the energies. (Obviously still high off the drugs.) I find the signal is strongest when in the sky…hence, the plane. I thought hey, if I'm going to enjoy the vibe, shouldn't others get to as well?
Bakura: (Still in the tree) (O_O) What. The hell. Is he. Talking. About.
Y/M: (In lotus position.)
************************************************************************
Meanwhile in Alberta, Canada………
Serenity: Finally we've arrived! ^_^
Malik: Yes, finally. (Still mad about the fight on the plane, but by now he fixed his mascara.)
Tristan: Okay, well I say we don't waste any time! Let's get on the trail of this thing right away.
Malik: And I say you shut up.
Duke: Hey don't talk to him like that!
Malik: Why are you defending him go for? I thought you hated him.
Duke: I do.
Tristan: Hey!
Duke: (Ignoring Tristan) But just because you're pissed that I was right, doesn't mean you have to take it out on other people. If you have a problem with me, then at least have the balls to be a man and say it to my face.
Tristan: OHHHHHHH BURRRRRRRN!!! He just insulted your manhood Malik!!!
Ryou: Uh oh.
Mai: (Whispers to Tristan) Hey you still have that 10 bucks?
Malik: Excuse me?
Duke: Not such a big man without your millennium rod are you? I guess since you don't "have any" the rod kind of took its place, in order for you to feel like a man- if you know what I mean. (Smirk.)
Everyone: (Cringes) Oooooh…dissed.
Ryou: Ouch. Even I have to say, that's got to sting.
Serenity: DUKE!!! That was way out of line and totally uncalled for!
Mai: I don't even think Malik can make a come back for that one.
Malik: (Orchestrating Dukes Death. Thinks to himself for a moment.)
Everyone: (Waiting nervously.)
Tristan: (Fumbling in his pocket.) Oh! Mai I found the ten bucks.
Mai: Shut-up you imbecile! (Slaps him on the back of the head.)
Malik: Very well, Duke. I f this is your opinion, then so be it.
Everyone: O_O What the hell?!
Duke: (Smirk disappears) The hell?! No! Do that again and say the right thing this time!!!
Malik: No friend, I have chosen to be the bigger man this time since obviously that's what you're all about. I shall not stoop down to your level.
Everyone except Malik: O_O WHAAAAAT?!
Serenity: Did he just say that?
Ryou: Well that was a surprise.
Yugi: (Deeply startled by the whole thing.) Well okay, what do you say we just, umm continue on from here. Uh, Malik I believe you have the fork.
Malik: (Pulls fork out of his pocket. Instantly begins to pull then west.)
Mai; Okay, I guess we just have to follow it.
Yugi: Common everybody!
************************************************************************
Meanwhile in the Amazon:
Everyone: O_O (Still shocked by Y/M)
Bakura: Ummmm, riiiiiiiihgt. Well, anywaaaaay I was thinking maybe ONE OF YOUR SORRY ASSES COULD HELP ME OUT OF THIS TREE!!! _ (Obviously still tangled.)
Tea: All right, all right we'll help you. Someone give me a boost up.
Kaiba: (Pissed off about his ruined trenchcoat.)
Joey: Oh, get over it man.
Kaiba: Shut up! I'll get over it when I feel like getting over it! (Pause) Okay, I guess I can't do anything about it now. (Opens backpack and pulls out brand new trenchcoat.)
Isis: (Arches eyebrow.) You keep spares?
Kaiba: Quiet.
Everyone: -_-U
Bakura: EXCUSE ME! _ I'M STILL UP HERE!!!
Tea: Someone help me!
Joey: Okay! Quit yelling! (Boosts her up.)
Tea: (Reaches Bakura's height.) Okay Bakura just relax we'll have you- EEP!
Bakura: What? What? What's going on? (Giant furry winged creature behind Bakura)
Tea: (Thinking fast) Wait a minute, that looks like a- no, it can't be- (Squints at the creature. It had the body of a monkey, but wings and eyes of a fly.) (O)_(O) HOLY CRAP GET ME DOWN! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE! THAT'S NOT A RODENT!!!!!!!!
Joey: Then what is it?!
Kaiba: It looks like a cross between a monkey and (squints) an …. insect of some sort.
Bakura: (Still has no idea what's going on.) WHAT? WHERE?! (Sees mutant monkey bug staring at him.) HOLY SHIT!!!(O)_(O)
Everyone else: (See the creature.) O_O AHHHH!!!
Joey: IT'S A RABBT MUTANT MONKEY FLY HYBRID!!!!!!
Tea: I FORGOT EVERYTHING DOWN HERE IS LIKE SUPERSIZED!!!
Rabid Mutant Monkey Bug Hybrid: (Looking for a bite out of Bakura.)
Bakura: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!! THE THING HAS TEETH!!! (Begins struggling)
Isis: Stop! You'll only attract it more!
Bakura: (Takes out location device) FOR ONCE THIS PIECE OF CRAP COMES N HANDY! HA! TAKE THAT FIEND!!!!! (Pokes the Rabid Mutant Monkey Bug Hybrid with the branch.)
Yami: (Laughing at Bakura)
Kaiba: O_O YOU ASS! THAT'S OUR ONLY WAY TO FIND THE LOCATION FOR THE ITEMS! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!!!
Tea: BAKURA HE'S RIGHT!!!
Bakura: WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
Rabid Mutant Monkey Fly Hybrid: (Seems unfazed.)
Bakura: (O)_(O) AHHH!!!
Yami: (Still laughing.)
Tea: YAMI!
Yami: (Trying to hold back) Sorry. (Still silently laughing.)
Y/M Here Bakura give him some of these! (Throws up a bottle.)
Bakura: (Catches it.) O_o RITALIN?!
Y/M: Just do it!
Bakura: (Struggles to open bottle. Pops open and half of the pills fall onto the ground below.)
Y/M: Careful you're dropping them!!!
Bakura: (Pores some into hand and starts throwing them at the beast.) HA! TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND SOME OF THIS!!! (Stares at the bottle) Y/M YTHIS ISN'T WORKING!!! AND I'M RUNNING OUT!
Yami: Well of course you are idiot if you throw them like that how are any of them going to land in its mouth?!
Bakura: YOU WANT ME TO HAND FEED HIM?!?!? ARE YOU MAD?!
Joey: What other choice do you have Bakura?
Bakura: GRRR…. FINE! (Holds out hand. R.M.M.F.H engulfs it in his mouth.) NO HE'S GOING TO BITE MY HAND OFF!!!! (Opens eyes) What the….? (Looks at drool covered hand) GROSS!!! Wait a minute…..(Skydiving glove is being eaten by acidic saliva.) O_O *Gulp* (Looks at R.M.M.F.H)
Rabid Mutant Monkey Fly Hybrid: (Seems to be calm.)
Isis: Good thinking Y/M!
Tea: Wait a minute…. What's it doing?
It was true the so-called " Rabid Mutant Monkey Fly Hybrid" was calm, but it continued to advance on Bakura…. except in not in an offensive fashion.
Bakura: Ahh, safe. Time to get out- Wait…O_O…. HUH?!?! ((O)_(O)) WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING DOING ?! AHHHHHH STOP!!!!!!!
Isis: O_O Y/M what's going on?!
Y/M: (Reading the bottle.) Well, it says here- oh crap.
Isis: Let me see that! (Snatches bottle.) O_O…-_- Oh. Dear. Raa.
Bakura: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!?! (Struggling to escape the insect)
Kaiba: Isis! What's it doing?
Isis: (Hands Kaiba the bottle of drugs.) Let's see directions, caution…. side effects…. may cause dizziness, headache, nausea…and a change in. ……SEXUAL BEHAVIOR?!?!?
Kaiba, Joey, Yami: (Pause.) AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA (Break out in insane laughter.) HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey: (Laugh) Our friend is (laugh, laugh) is trying to get down with Bakura! (More laughing)
Bakura: ((((O)))_(((O)))) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Kaiba, Joey, Yami, Y/M: (Laugh harder.)
Tea: -_-U You cannot be serious.
Isis: -_- Poor, poor man.
Bakura: (Falls out of tree.)
Bonkey: (Follows him.)
Bakura: (Hauling ass)
Suddenly the mosquito stopped and jerked back. It fell on the floor and twitched uncontrollably.
Bakura: (Stops) (O)_(O) What, (pant) what's (pant, pant) wrong with it?
Y/M: (Reads the bottle.) Well, it says here that there is a risk that it may cause headache, dizziness, nausea, change in sexual behavior, loss of appetite, severe heart attack, unbalanced hormones, vision/hearing loss, seizures, mood swings associated with PMS, hallucinations, drowsiness, loss of control over limbs, weight gain and maybe even death. Oh, and runny nose also. I forgot runny nose.
Yami: Interesting.
Tea: -_- Medicine today.
Kaiba: I'm guessing the thing has had a seizure.
R.M.M.F.H: X_X
Y/M: Poor little guy. That must have been the heart attack kicking in.
Bakura: ;_; I feel so violated. THIS IS THE EVIL OF PESTICIDE!!!! THE IRONY!!! DO YOU SEE THE IRONY!!! CURSE THOSE DAMN GOVERNMENT BASTARDS AND THEIR TWISTED, SLANDEROUS WAYS!!!!
Isis: Let's just move and forget this ever happened okay?
Bakura: O_O Good idea.
Joey: Bakura you have the stick. Lead the way ….. (Mumbles) hot stuff.
(Snickers heard)
Joey: (A rock comes flying towards his head.) X_X Ouch.
Tea: -_- Bakura.
Bakura: Don't start. You're telling me you didn't want that to see that happen.
Tea: Weeeell…..
Bakura: Exactly.
************************************************************************
Back up in Canada………………….
Tristan: (Pant) Slow down (pant) man!
Malik: It won't stop!
Group 2 was well on their way to finding their first of the 10 items to be collected. So far the locator fork had been pulling them west for the past 15 minutes with no sign of stopping.
Malik: Hey! It stopped pulling!
Serenity: But where are we.
Everyone: (Looks around for a moment.)
Mai: O_O NO.
Ryou: ^_^ What is it Mai? O_O It can't be.
Yugi: What's wrong with you guys?
Everyone else: (Turns to see what their looking at.) O_O Eep.
You see the branch had led them to a location, but it was so BIG that they didn't notice it was even there. There ahead stood one of the BIGGEST mountains anyone of them had ever seen.
Duke: -_- We have to climb that don't we.
Ryou: *_* The sad truth.
Yugi: ;_; Well there's no point in wasting time. The sooner we climb it, the sooner we get the item.
Serenity: -_- Let's move.
N.E. Okay! So ends chapter 2!!! You know the usual read and review crap. I know the groups haven't really gotten anywhere yet, but never fear in the next chapter there will be some progress my friends! (As for improvement of my writing, well, I don't know. But I seriously think this story sucks right now. I mean it's SO NOT FUNNY!!! And it's a humour fic man!!! ;_; * sigh* I can only write and hope people still read.) These two chapters alone have taken me nearly 850 minutes to type and edit!!! They take a long time. I like to make sure my writing is the best it can possibly be before I release something. So please if I do take a while to update it's only because I'm trying to make it more enjoyable. (That and the fact that I have waaaaaay too much on plate as it is. But that's me ^_^)
Kimmy: Ahem.
N.E: Oh, you're still here. Well, you see Kimmy, the fact of the matter is, is that you're a loser, and I have the baddest skill (inside joke) so, uh…...yeah.
Kimmy: EXCUSE ME?!?!?!?!
N.E.: ^_^U Well that's it for me right now, I'm signing out till later gotta go, see ya !!!
Kimmy: _ COME BACK HERE!!!
N.E: LATER!!!!!!!!
Kura: -_-U DAMN THOSE EVIL MUTANT MONKEY FLY HYBRIDS !