Tory and Ali screw with Lord of the Rings
Chapter 12- Gay or Grey Hobbits?
I saw Tory fall to the ground, hit by something. I ran over to her, and saw that Gollum had fallen on top of her. I bent down, took hold of him, and threw him off of her. "Frodo, don't let him get it. He's looking for it!" I screamed at him, but apparently he wasn't listening. The next second, Gollum flung himself at Frodo, and now was reaching for his neck. I saw Sam run over to Frodo and pick up Gollum.
"Get off him, you dirty animal!" Sam yelled at Gollum, as he tripped and fell back. Gollum was on top of him, and strangling him. Frodo jumped up, took out his knife and put it to Gollum throat.
"Let him go, or I will slit your throat." Frodo said gaining a look like, this is my man; get off him. Gollum let go of Sam, and screeched at the top of his lungs. Sam stood up rubbing his throat. Sam went into his pack and found a rope. It was bright white, and it looked perfect. Like no one ever used the rope before. Sam made a knot in the rope and tied it around Gollum's throat. I looked down at Tory (who was still on the ground from Gollum jumping on her) who opened her mouth like she was going to say something. I leaned down and whispered, "Don't, you'll interfere with the process. If Sam doesn't put the rope on Gollum, then he will never be their guide. Don't worry, it'll come off soon."
"Yeah, I know. It's so cruel though." Tory said. I guess she turned into someone who feels sorry for anything; from I don't care about you.
"Tory, that's life. I thought you read this book. It happens, so suck it up." I told her, starting to get annoyed with her.
"I did; that's like the twentieth time I had to tell you." She said looking up at Sam and Frodo talking.
"Well you ain't acting like you read it. Start thinking about what's going to happen, not what cruel and what's not." I told her, now looking at Sam and Frodo for myself. They sat down on the ground and started preparing for a picnic. Great now I will be stuck with these two retards for the rest of my life. I left Tory to think about what I told her, and walked over to Frodo and Sam.
"Do you think we should be going now? What if Gollum brought an army with him, just in case he got caught?" I told them.
"I never thought about that before. Good thinking, let's get this packed up Sam." Frodo said to Sam, as he started to pack away the food they took out.
"I miss the old days Frodo, just you and me. I wish they hadn't come, and then we could do the stuff we used to do." Sam said pointing at us, to Frodo.
"I know Sam, I miss those days too. I think it's better now that we have more company. We won't feel as lonely." Frodo said, now standing up.
"But Frodo, were you really lonely? If you told me sooner, I would have made it better. I'm so sorry, please accept my apology." Sam said.
"Okay Sam, I forgive you. Let's listen to Ali and get out of here." Frodo said, now looking at me. After hearing all I could bare of their conversation, I walked over to Tory and looked at her.
"Why are you still on the ground?" I asked her, looking confused (I can do the confused face really easily- Legolas taught it to me. Brain stop working, please) and yet knowing I wasn't.
"I never thought to get up. I was startled by Gollum." She said, getting up (at last!!).
"Okay, great. I convinced them to leave now, so get your pack and let's go. Come on!" I said at her starting to walk after Frodo.
"Ali, don't forget I'm not the fastest walker in the world. Please you are walking to fast, I can't keep up!" She yelled at me.
"Okay just keep walking. Or is that too much to ask of you?" I screamed back at her. I can't believe it, Sam is faster then her. I wish I had a horse, so we could get to Mt. Doom really fast. But whatever, I don't have one. I walked up to Frodo to talk to him.
"What did you and Sam do before Tory and I got here?" I asked him, but I couldn't see his face.
"Why do you want to know?" He asked me, kind of getting hurt.
"Oh, nothing er, I was er, listening in on your er, conversation er, with er, Sam." I said looking down at my feet.
"Well, it was nothing. I just have something for my gardener, you know." He said, having no problem admitting it.
"That's what I though, haha! Go shorty, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday. Score 500, I win!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"What? I don't understand what you are trying to tell me." Frodo said looking even more confused.
"Never mind, you wouldn't get it." I told him. I looked back to see if Tory was still with us. I saw Sam tugging on Gollum and Tory helping. Kindness goes along away (awwww, how sweet).
"Try me." He said, looking happy to have a conversation with someone.
"I just thought that's what was happening with you guys. I know you were getting down a little, you know." I said as a smirk covered my face.
"Getting down a little?" He asked me, confused.
"You know, whatever you gay people do. I don't know what you do, and I really don't care." I told him, looking into the darkness.
"Oh, I see okay. I won't go there." Frodo told me.
"Thank you, please I want to stay happy. I don't want to not take other step toward someone else, thank you very much (Aragorn- the incident with Tory- If you don't get it, read Helm's Deep again)."
"What do you mean, by not taking another step toward someone else?" Frodo said.
"You would never get it in a thousand years. It's a really long story. Yeah, you would never get. Oh, the memories." I said looking all starry eyed because of the memories of Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli.
"What do you mean by the memories?" He asked me, looking sympathetic.
"I met Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli before I met you. I said that only because I miss them all, well one in general, but no I miss all off them." I said, turning around to see that Tory and Sam had stopped. Ignoring what Frodo was about to say, I walked back to them. "What's the matter?" I asked Tory.
"Gollum is giving us lots of trouble." Tory said, looking up at me from the ground (since she was sitting down).
"Pleeassssseee. The rope hurtsss usssss. The pain, pleasssse take itsss off us. Rotten elvesssss they makess rope that hurtsss usss. Take it off usss pleasssee. We's swear to do what'ss you ssssay. Anything at's all. Just take is off us. Anything, anything at all." Gollum said, looking at Frodo (followed me) and I.
"Anything at all?" Frodo asked Gollum.
"Yess, anything at all. We's swear to do what the master sayss." Gollum said looking scared. If you ask me, I was very close to cracking up. His face was so funny. You know, that scared and sweet look.
"Sam, take the rope off him." Frodo said now looking at Sam.
"But Mr. Frodo." Sam started to say, but was rudely interrupted.
"Why do you call me Mr. Frodo?" Frodo asked Sam.
"Ok, Frodo, you need an Ali lesson. You are saying it wrong. You should ask, why the hell do you call me Mr. Frodo? Okay?" I told him (he needs to have an Ali moment once in his life. lol- only the select few understand, sorry but I had to include it).
"I don't understand." Frodo asked looking confused. "Take the rope off him Sam." He turned to Sam. Sam crawled toward Gollum, who was scrunched up in a ball scared half to death. Sam looked back at Frodo like, are you sure this is the right thing to do. Frodo gave Sam a look that was so cruel and evil that Sam never turned back to look at Frodo again. Sam slowly took the rope off Gollum's neck and backed away as fast ass he could. He was thinking that Gollum was going to jump up on them. But Gollum didn't move an inch; he stayed curled up in a ball right against the rock. Frodo walked up very close to Gollum so that their noses were almost touching. Then after a few seconds he backed away.
"Nice master, good Sméagol." Gollum said looked around at the staring faces.
"How can we trust you?" Frodo asked very seriously.
"We's swears to do anything you say. We's swears on the precious to do anything you says." Gollum said sitting up straight.
"Nothing you say can we trust, but if you swear on the precious, that's good enough for me; people?" Frodo said, turning around.
"Fine, whatever. Can we leave; there is no food here. I'm so starved." Tory said, not caring one bit what Frodo was saying. It must have been, because she was the movie so many times she like memorized the whole thing. But, that is a whole different story to tell.
"Tory, relax, there is no need to worry." I told her.
"I'm not worrying, I'm Hungry!" She screamed in my face.
"Thank you Captain Obvious. I already got the point. But twice can't hurt either." I said.
~*~
"Hurry hobbities, and weird people. We're almost there." Gollum said running ahead of us. I turned around to see Tory and Sam lacking.
"We need a break." Sam said, coming to a complete stop.
"No, no, not now we must keep going. We're almost out of the mountains. Please don't stop now." Gollum said looking back at Sam and Tory.
"Fine, but where are you taking us?" Sam said, looking curiously at Gollum.
"A ways over there." Gollum said pointing in the direction we were headed.
"I know that, but where?" Sam said, getting mad.
"Marshes." Gollum said very fast and started up again. So, once Sam got his sorry fat ass moving, we got out of the mountains really fast. It smelled so bad though, I thought I was going to throw up or something. Since I was walking right behind Frodo I wasn't in the mood for throwing up on him. If you think about it, it might leave a bad first impression. You know what I mean.
"My precious, will come back to me, gollum, gollum." I could hear Gollum say under his breath. What a loser! We had stopped for a while because Tory and Sam were complaining so much about how they had to rest. I sat on the cold ground next to the fire we had made. For hours we saw nothing of Gollum. Where he was, was beyond our reach. I turned to Tory and said
"Guess what!"
"What?!"
"Sam's gay." I said as a smile came across my face.
"No he's not!" Tory protested.
"I was talking to Frodo, and it was really clear. He like admitted it too." I said.
"I don't believe you. Everyone thinks that he is, and why don't they give him a chance?" Tory said. I didn't say anything more, for I saw Frodo, Gollum, and Sam walk toward us.
"We must go. There is something fishy around here." Frodo said as he got closer to us.
"Alright, I'm ready. Tory?" I told Frodo.
"Fine, whatever. At least I got some rest." Tory said as she got up. In the dark, she looked really depressing.
"Let's go then. Gollum we're right behind you." Frodo said as Gollum started to lead the way. She walked into the dark fog; not knowing what would come or happen next.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Notes to Reviewers~
Written by Tory because she is obviously the one that loves reviews!
I've been meaning to do this for a while, but never got the chance. To all who reviewed- thanks! I didn't think we would get this many reviews! But this is the first story we have published on ff.net. We're glad (most of) you loved it! Thanks to:
FreakyGurl12: Girl, you freaky! It feels good to have a fan so.........involved! I hope Sam and Frodo won't fall to a fiery death because Sam is cool and Nina would kill me if Frodo died! And yes, I know Aragorn is hot! VERY hot! HOT HOT HOT!!!
Nina: I know you hate me for my "everyone/Frodo" jokes, but they're still coming. Mwahaha! I don't really give if Frodo is gay or not. It seriously don't matter to me, of course, everyone else has something to say about that. Obviously Arwen is not going to fit into the story because I hate Arwen! Of course, she will be in my "why-Eowyn-is-better-than-Arwen" list.
Jess: I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry, I know you were watching Halloween with the "real Mike Meyers". I'm not changing it! Yes, I know curse words are bad.... I'm trying to cut back on them. My brother made up a list of them that I used in the story and showed it to my mom. What a weirdo.
Sarina: You have to like Lord of the Rings! It's just MANDATORY! lol. Spanish Green Tomatoes are green green green and cool!!! I don't think I am that fast of a runner, but I'm probably faster than I make myself look in here. I also like riding a lot more.
Salina: You are wrong! Hobbits are not helpless. Though Frodo always needs help from Aragorn.......... (Damn my sick mind! Stop Thinking!) You can have your opinions about Frodo being gay... I personally don't care. Ali made him gay of course. Now she's on Nina's proscription list along with me, Annie and you. lol.
Tengwar: Thanks! I was so happy when I saw that we were on your favorite stories list! It made my day!
Catherine: How many times do I have to tell you that you are not an elf person? You get Merry! There is nothing wrong with him! I checked myself! lol. He is cool and Haldir remains locked up in MY basement! Haldir: Save me Catherine! *gets hit over the head with a pair of dirty socks* *keels over*
asyr: Thank you! *does a jig* *fails miserably* *big grinz any way*
Annie: I'm sorry but I think you are on a waiting list for Legolas. Anyway aren't you dropping your Leggy for someone else anyway????
Nicole: Thank you!
Googlepuss: Thanks. Yea I like some of the TP Mary Sues. I was actually wrting one before I was obsessed with Lord of the Rings. I didn't continue it. Maybe I should though. Hmmm....
Siren: Yes! Go me! It's my birthday! We gonna party like it's my birthday! lol.
Vze4bsj: I am going to keep the title of the story the same. I like it! Maybe you should change your name thought. It's a bit hard to type... Yes, we have attracted a lot of weirdos! Just look at the review page!
To everyone: Yes, I know I have a sick mind!!! Everyone says that!!! And if you want to have a cat fight for Legolas or whether Frodo is gay.... go right ahead!
Thank you thank you thank you all for reviewing! Until the next chapter-
~*~Tory~*~
Chapter 12- Gay or Grey Hobbits?
I saw Tory fall to the ground, hit by something. I ran over to her, and saw that Gollum had fallen on top of her. I bent down, took hold of him, and threw him off of her. "Frodo, don't let him get it. He's looking for it!" I screamed at him, but apparently he wasn't listening. The next second, Gollum flung himself at Frodo, and now was reaching for his neck. I saw Sam run over to Frodo and pick up Gollum.
"Get off him, you dirty animal!" Sam yelled at Gollum, as he tripped and fell back. Gollum was on top of him, and strangling him. Frodo jumped up, took out his knife and put it to Gollum throat.
"Let him go, or I will slit your throat." Frodo said gaining a look like, this is my man; get off him. Gollum let go of Sam, and screeched at the top of his lungs. Sam stood up rubbing his throat. Sam went into his pack and found a rope. It was bright white, and it looked perfect. Like no one ever used the rope before. Sam made a knot in the rope and tied it around Gollum's throat. I looked down at Tory (who was still on the ground from Gollum jumping on her) who opened her mouth like she was going to say something. I leaned down and whispered, "Don't, you'll interfere with the process. If Sam doesn't put the rope on Gollum, then he will never be their guide. Don't worry, it'll come off soon."
"Yeah, I know. It's so cruel though." Tory said. I guess she turned into someone who feels sorry for anything; from I don't care about you.
"Tory, that's life. I thought you read this book. It happens, so suck it up." I told her, starting to get annoyed with her.
"I did; that's like the twentieth time I had to tell you." She said looking up at Sam and Frodo talking.
"Well you ain't acting like you read it. Start thinking about what's going to happen, not what cruel and what's not." I told her, now looking at Sam and Frodo for myself. They sat down on the ground and started preparing for a picnic. Great now I will be stuck with these two retards for the rest of my life. I left Tory to think about what I told her, and walked over to Frodo and Sam.
"Do you think we should be going now? What if Gollum brought an army with him, just in case he got caught?" I told them.
"I never thought about that before. Good thinking, let's get this packed up Sam." Frodo said to Sam, as he started to pack away the food they took out.
"I miss the old days Frodo, just you and me. I wish they hadn't come, and then we could do the stuff we used to do." Sam said pointing at us, to Frodo.
"I know Sam, I miss those days too. I think it's better now that we have more company. We won't feel as lonely." Frodo said, now standing up.
"But Frodo, were you really lonely? If you told me sooner, I would have made it better. I'm so sorry, please accept my apology." Sam said.
"Okay Sam, I forgive you. Let's listen to Ali and get out of here." Frodo said, now looking at me. After hearing all I could bare of their conversation, I walked over to Tory and looked at her.
"Why are you still on the ground?" I asked her, looking confused (I can do the confused face really easily- Legolas taught it to me. Brain stop working, please) and yet knowing I wasn't.
"I never thought to get up. I was startled by Gollum." She said, getting up (at last!!).
"Okay, great. I convinced them to leave now, so get your pack and let's go. Come on!" I said at her starting to walk after Frodo.
"Ali, don't forget I'm not the fastest walker in the world. Please you are walking to fast, I can't keep up!" She yelled at me.
"Okay just keep walking. Or is that too much to ask of you?" I screamed back at her. I can't believe it, Sam is faster then her. I wish I had a horse, so we could get to Mt. Doom really fast. But whatever, I don't have one. I walked up to Frodo to talk to him.
"What did you and Sam do before Tory and I got here?" I asked him, but I couldn't see his face.
"Why do you want to know?" He asked me, kind of getting hurt.
"Oh, nothing er, I was er, listening in on your er, conversation er, with er, Sam." I said looking down at my feet.
"Well, it was nothing. I just have something for my gardener, you know." He said, having no problem admitting it.
"That's what I though, haha! Go shorty, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday. Score 500, I win!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"What? I don't understand what you are trying to tell me." Frodo said looking even more confused.
"Never mind, you wouldn't get it." I told him. I looked back to see if Tory was still with us. I saw Sam tugging on Gollum and Tory helping. Kindness goes along away (awwww, how sweet).
"Try me." He said, looking happy to have a conversation with someone.
"I just thought that's what was happening with you guys. I know you were getting down a little, you know." I said as a smirk covered my face.
"Getting down a little?" He asked me, confused.
"You know, whatever you gay people do. I don't know what you do, and I really don't care." I told him, looking into the darkness.
"Oh, I see okay. I won't go there." Frodo told me.
"Thank you, please I want to stay happy. I don't want to not take other step toward someone else, thank you very much (Aragorn- the incident with Tory- If you don't get it, read Helm's Deep again)."
"What do you mean, by not taking another step toward someone else?" Frodo said.
"You would never get it in a thousand years. It's a really long story. Yeah, you would never get. Oh, the memories." I said looking all starry eyed because of the memories of Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli.
"What do you mean by the memories?" He asked me, looking sympathetic.
"I met Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli before I met you. I said that only because I miss them all, well one in general, but no I miss all off them." I said, turning around to see that Tory and Sam had stopped. Ignoring what Frodo was about to say, I walked back to them. "What's the matter?" I asked Tory.
"Gollum is giving us lots of trouble." Tory said, looking up at me from the ground (since she was sitting down).
"Pleeassssseee. The rope hurtsss usssss. The pain, pleasssse take itsss off us. Rotten elvesssss they makess rope that hurtsss usss. Take it off usss pleasssee. We's swear to do what'ss you ssssay. Anything at's all. Just take is off us. Anything, anything at all." Gollum said, looking at Frodo (followed me) and I.
"Anything at all?" Frodo asked Gollum.
"Yess, anything at all. We's swear to do what the master sayss." Gollum said looking scared. If you ask me, I was very close to cracking up. His face was so funny. You know, that scared and sweet look.
"Sam, take the rope off him." Frodo said now looking at Sam.
"But Mr. Frodo." Sam started to say, but was rudely interrupted.
"Why do you call me Mr. Frodo?" Frodo asked Sam.
"Ok, Frodo, you need an Ali lesson. You are saying it wrong. You should ask, why the hell do you call me Mr. Frodo? Okay?" I told him (he needs to have an Ali moment once in his life. lol- only the select few understand, sorry but I had to include it).
"I don't understand." Frodo asked looking confused. "Take the rope off him Sam." He turned to Sam. Sam crawled toward Gollum, who was scrunched up in a ball scared half to death. Sam looked back at Frodo like, are you sure this is the right thing to do. Frodo gave Sam a look that was so cruel and evil that Sam never turned back to look at Frodo again. Sam slowly took the rope off Gollum's neck and backed away as fast ass he could. He was thinking that Gollum was going to jump up on them. But Gollum didn't move an inch; he stayed curled up in a ball right against the rock. Frodo walked up very close to Gollum so that their noses were almost touching. Then after a few seconds he backed away.
"Nice master, good Sméagol." Gollum said looked around at the staring faces.
"How can we trust you?" Frodo asked very seriously.
"We's swears to do anything you say. We's swears on the precious to do anything you says." Gollum said sitting up straight.
"Nothing you say can we trust, but if you swear on the precious, that's good enough for me; people?" Frodo said, turning around.
"Fine, whatever. Can we leave; there is no food here. I'm so starved." Tory said, not caring one bit what Frodo was saying. It must have been, because she was the movie so many times she like memorized the whole thing. But, that is a whole different story to tell.
"Tory, relax, there is no need to worry." I told her.
"I'm not worrying, I'm Hungry!" She screamed in my face.
"Thank you Captain Obvious. I already got the point. But twice can't hurt either." I said.
~*~
"Hurry hobbities, and weird people. We're almost there." Gollum said running ahead of us. I turned around to see Tory and Sam lacking.
"We need a break." Sam said, coming to a complete stop.
"No, no, not now we must keep going. We're almost out of the mountains. Please don't stop now." Gollum said looking back at Sam and Tory.
"Fine, but where are you taking us?" Sam said, looking curiously at Gollum.
"A ways over there." Gollum said pointing in the direction we were headed.
"I know that, but where?" Sam said, getting mad.
"Marshes." Gollum said very fast and started up again. So, once Sam got his sorry fat ass moving, we got out of the mountains really fast. It smelled so bad though, I thought I was going to throw up or something. Since I was walking right behind Frodo I wasn't in the mood for throwing up on him. If you think about it, it might leave a bad first impression. You know what I mean.
"My precious, will come back to me, gollum, gollum." I could hear Gollum say under his breath. What a loser! We had stopped for a while because Tory and Sam were complaining so much about how they had to rest. I sat on the cold ground next to the fire we had made. For hours we saw nothing of Gollum. Where he was, was beyond our reach. I turned to Tory and said
"Guess what!"
"What?!"
"Sam's gay." I said as a smile came across my face.
"No he's not!" Tory protested.
"I was talking to Frodo, and it was really clear. He like admitted it too." I said.
"I don't believe you. Everyone thinks that he is, and why don't they give him a chance?" Tory said. I didn't say anything more, for I saw Frodo, Gollum, and Sam walk toward us.
"We must go. There is something fishy around here." Frodo said as he got closer to us.
"Alright, I'm ready. Tory?" I told Frodo.
"Fine, whatever. At least I got some rest." Tory said as she got up. In the dark, she looked really depressing.
"Let's go then. Gollum we're right behind you." Frodo said as Gollum started to lead the way. She walked into the dark fog; not knowing what would come or happen next.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Notes to Reviewers~
Written by Tory because she is obviously the one that loves reviews!
I've been meaning to do this for a while, but never got the chance. To all who reviewed- thanks! I didn't think we would get this many reviews! But this is the first story we have published on ff.net. We're glad (most of) you loved it! Thanks to:
FreakyGurl12: Girl, you freaky! It feels good to have a fan so.........involved! I hope Sam and Frodo won't fall to a fiery death because Sam is cool and Nina would kill me if Frodo died! And yes, I know Aragorn is hot! VERY hot! HOT HOT HOT!!!
Nina: I know you hate me for my "everyone/Frodo" jokes, but they're still coming. Mwahaha! I don't really give if Frodo is gay or not. It seriously don't matter to me, of course, everyone else has something to say about that. Obviously Arwen is not going to fit into the story because I hate Arwen! Of course, she will be in my "why-Eowyn-is-better-than-Arwen" list.
Jess: I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry, I know you were watching Halloween with the "real Mike Meyers". I'm not changing it! Yes, I know curse words are bad.... I'm trying to cut back on them. My brother made up a list of them that I used in the story and showed it to my mom. What a weirdo.
Sarina: You have to like Lord of the Rings! It's just MANDATORY! lol. Spanish Green Tomatoes are green green green and cool!!! I don't think I am that fast of a runner, but I'm probably faster than I make myself look in here. I also like riding a lot more.
Salina: You are wrong! Hobbits are not helpless. Though Frodo always needs help from Aragorn.......... (Damn my sick mind! Stop Thinking!) You can have your opinions about Frodo being gay... I personally don't care. Ali made him gay of course. Now she's on Nina's proscription list along with me, Annie and you. lol.
Tengwar: Thanks! I was so happy when I saw that we were on your favorite stories list! It made my day!
Catherine: How many times do I have to tell you that you are not an elf person? You get Merry! There is nothing wrong with him! I checked myself! lol. He is cool and Haldir remains locked up in MY basement! Haldir: Save me Catherine! *gets hit over the head with a pair of dirty socks* *keels over*
asyr: Thank you! *does a jig* *fails miserably* *big grinz any way*
Annie: I'm sorry but I think you are on a waiting list for Legolas. Anyway aren't you dropping your Leggy for someone else anyway????
Nicole: Thank you!
Googlepuss: Thanks. Yea I like some of the TP Mary Sues. I was actually wrting one before I was obsessed with Lord of the Rings. I didn't continue it. Maybe I should though. Hmmm....
Siren: Yes! Go me! It's my birthday! We gonna party like it's my birthday! lol.
Vze4bsj: I am going to keep the title of the story the same. I like it! Maybe you should change your name thought. It's a bit hard to type... Yes, we have attracted a lot of weirdos! Just look at the review page!
To everyone: Yes, I know I have a sick mind!!! Everyone says that!!! And if you want to have a cat fight for Legolas or whether Frodo is gay.... go right ahead!
Thank you thank you thank you all for reviewing! Until the next chapter-
~*~Tory~*~