My Cup Runneth Over

by Swallowbird

Joxer must do ten tens in the Amazon underworld to get Gabrielle back.

2. My Cup Runneth Over 2

My Cup Runneth Over, part 2

by Susan Owens

After saying goodbye, Joxer took Gabrielle by the hand and the two walked off.

They soon reached the sandy bank of a wide river. Joxer carefully settled

Gabrielle on a log and wandered along the water's edge to try and find a way

across. The river looked like any other river he had seen before, except it was

pitch-black because sunlight did not reflect off it. He soon spotted a boat that

was tied to a large boulder on the other side of the river. He hurried back to

where he had left Gabrielle.

He knelt before her and took her hands in his. "Hey, Gabby. There's a boat on

the other side of the river. It doesn't look all that far, so I think I can swim

over and bring it back. I didn't find another way to get you across, so I'll

have to try. You wait here, okay?"

Joxer gazed into her expressionless face and a tear slid down his cheek. "I'll

help you, Gabrielle. I promise," he vowed, wishing that she could somehow hear

him. He rose to his feet, wiped his face and walked into the river a few steps

before diving in and swimming towards the boat.

Eris and Rhea gazed at each other for a long moment, then both turned to look at

Xena as she kept watch over Joxer's mortal body.

"Joxer can't make it to the boat," Eris said.

Cyane smirked in triumph as she watched Joxer's body slowly turn blue. "Even

now, he's failing this test just like I knew he would. Look, Xena. He's dying."

Xena stepped forward and grabbed Joxer roughly by the shoulders.

"Joxer!" she shouted, hoping that he could hear her somehow. "You can't give up!

I know you can do it. Joxer, please don't give up!"

Cyane laughed bitterly. "You're wasting your time, Xena. That pervert won't

reach the boat. He's already lost. Look at him: he's dead."

Xena looked at Joxer's face, then bent down to listen for his heartbeat. She

searched for his pulse as well, but there was none. Joxer was dead, and

Gabrielle was lost forever. She felt the old, familiar rage stirring in her body

as she turned to face Cyane. "You wanted this to happen," she hissed. "You

wanted this so Gabrielle couldn't come back. I swear I'll make you pay for

this!"

Xena slid her sword from its sheath with a cry, raising it high above her head

to strike down Cyane. Before either woman could make another move, the Goddess

Artemis appeared before them. "Stop this!" the goddess commanded. "Joxer isn't

dead, Xena. He hasn't given up."

Xena narrowed her eyes as she lowered her sword, then resheathed it. "He has no

breath and his heart's stopped beating."

"His mind is alive as long as his spirit lives," Artemis replied. "Now watch."

The Goddess waved her hand, and in the air above where Joxer's body lay, they

could see Joxer in the Amazon Underworld as he swam across the river. He was

moving steadily through the water, but it was obvious that he was getting very

tired.

Joxer stared hard at the boat before him, focusing all his energy on reaching

it. It seemed so close that he could almost reach out and touch it, yet the

harder he swam, the farther away the current took him. He could feel his limbs

burning with fatigue, and the thought that he would drown began to overpower all

other thoughts in his mind. He felt hopelessness beginning to paralyze him, when

suddenly he could hear his beloved Gabrielle speaking to him.

"Joxer," her voice filled his mind. "Do you know what an illusion is? When you

see something that is not really there?"

"Illusion," Joxer thought to himself, fighting to keep his head above the water.

"You mean that the water isn't real? Or the boat?" At this, he started treading

the water, turning back to the shore where Gabrielle's body still waited,

unmoving and unchanging.

"No, Joxer. The water and the boat are real," her voice told him. "You have to

figure this out, Joxer. You can feel yourself failing. What's wrong here?"

"I must be crazy," Joxer muttered to himself. Then he suddenly knew what he had

to do. He fought to keep his head above the water as he began to chant the same

words over and over. "O Great Artemis, Goddess of The Amazons. I ask you to give

me strength and wisdom so that I may find the other side of the river. Fill me

with your divine strength, O great Goddess."

"How does he know those words?" Cyane shouted, her voice filled with anger and

betrayal. "Only an Amazon may know those words! How dare that pervert speak

those sacred words?"

Xena looked down at Joxer's body. It was no longer blue and he was breathing

easily. She smiled at him, feeling joy and hope stirring in her breast.

"Gabrielle must have told Joxer the story of the Neverending River. He always

remembers her stories," she murmured.

"I will not have the likes of him saving Gabrielle!" Cyane screamed in rage, and

suddenly flew forward with her dagger in hand, aiming straight for Joxer's

heart.

Xena reached out, knocked the dagger away and grabbed Cyane against her in a

death grip. She held her chakram against Cyane's neck. "I've just about had it

with you," she growled.

"Xena, stop!" Artemis commanded. "You must not interfere!"

"Then tell her to lay off and leave Joxer alone!" Xena demanded, pushing Cyane

away from her in disgust and putting her chakram away.

Artemis fixed Cyane with a withering glare, and the Amazon visibly shrank from

the Goddess' wrath. She turned her gaze once again to Xena and said flatly, "He

will fail." At that, Cyane left the hut.

Joxer continued treading water, chanting mindlessly with his eyes tightly

squeezed shut. Suddenly, he felt something hard hit his shoulder and when he

opened his eyes he realized that he had bumped into the boat. He climbed inside,

filled with relief. He reached out to untie the boat from where it was anchored

when he heard a mighty war cry, or something that he thought was supposed to be

a mighty war cry.

"YIYIYIYIYIYI! Oww! Oww! Oh, watch out! Outta of the way! Look out!"

Joxer turned around just in time to see a rather young Amazon girl fly through

the air and crash into a tree. He hurriedly climbed out of the boat and rushed

to her side, wincing in sympathy.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked her.

The young Amazon picked herself up off the ground, looking slightly flustered

and indignant as she brushed her clothes. "Yes, I'm all right," she insisted. "I

meant to do that."

"Well, okay then." Joxer stared at the girl. She seemed too young to be in the

Amazon Underworld, he thought. She's just a child, really.

"I died young," the girl suddenly spoke up as if she could read his mind.

He stared. "Huh?"

"You question my youth. I died young."

"Oh," Joxer said solemnly. "I bet you fought very bravely in battle."

She shook her head at him, turning slightly pink all over. "No, not really. I

sorta fell on my sword."

He nodded in wry understanding, and she smiled at him. "Well, Mighty Warrior,

you passed the second test. You made it across the Neverending River."

Joxer was beaming with happiness as she took out a red medal and reached up to

place it around his neck with the other one. He wrapped his fingers around the

medal and took a big breath.

"Thank you. Now, I'd better head back to the boat and get Gabrielle." Joxer then

turned to climb into the boat.

"Not so fast, little man."

Joxer's heart froze at the sound of the voice. He turned to see another Amazon

standing close behind him at the edge of the forest. This one seemed to stand

almost eight feet tall and built for battle.

"This is my boat," she told him coldly. "If you want it, you'll have to fight me

for it."

Joxer swallowed thickly, exhaustion making him dizzy. She was so much taller

than him and covered from head to toe in strong, impenetrable armor. He couldn't

win a real battle on a good day when he was armed and wearing his armor. He knew

that he didn't have a chance if he fought her.

"Fight you? There is no way I can fight you and hope to win," he said tiredly.

The Amazon smiled grimly. "Like all men, you're a coward."

"I'm not a coward!" he cried. "But it wouldn't be a fair fight. I'm tired from

that swim, and I have no weapons or armor."

The Amazon surged forward and grabbed Joxer's wrists. "Then use these, little

man. I don't care what you decide, but you will fight me if you want this boat."

Joxer knew that he no choice in the matter. He stepped away from the Amazon,

steeled himself and stood ready for battle. Before he knew it, the Amazon had

charged and sent him flying hard into the ground.

Xena and the others watched the scene as it played out before them, watching the

bruises appear on Joxer's body. Cyane returned to see the battle and smiled when

she saw what was happening.

"Ali will kill him," she told Xena. "She hated men more than I do. She will show

him no mercy."

Xena knew that Cyane was right. This Amazon didn't care about Joxer or the test.

She just wanted him dead. She watched as Ali picked up Joxer and spun him around

before throwing him as if he were a rag doll. He landed on the ground heavily

with a sickening thud.

The Amazon reached down to pick up Joxer's unmoving body, bringing his beaten

and bloodied face close to hers. "Say goodnight, little man," she hissed, and

brought back her fist to strike him down for good.

"Ali!" the young Amazon suddenly cried, reaching out a hand to stop her larger

Amazon sister. "Wait! Don't kill him yet."

Ali turned to the younger Amazon. "Why not? Look at him! He's failed!"

The young Amazon looked at Joxer and knew at once that another punch from Ali

would end his life. He was already unconscious and limp and blood was running

freely from his nose and mouth. She didn't know why, but she wanted this young

man to make it.

Xena turned away from the bloody scene before her. "Artemis, that was an unfair

fight. That Amazon was bigger and stronger than him, and he was already weakened

by the last test! I understand what you are doing and why, but this is really

unfair! Please Artemis, do something!" she pleaded.

Artemis looked at Xena, then down at Joxer's bruised and battered body. She knew

that the Warrior Princess was right, that Joxer had lost this test and would

soon die.

"I will help him, but only this one time," she said, and with that she

disappeared from the hut.

"Ali! Put Joxer down now!"

Ali turned at the sound of Artemis' voice and instantly dropped Joxer so he fell

into a bloody heap at her feet. She stepped back quickly as the Goddess came

forward and placed her hands upon his dying body. His bruises and cuts faded

rapidly and his eyes fluttered open.

"Don't move until you are rested," Artemis commanded him firmly yet kindly. She

then turned to Ali. "You were one of my greatest warriors, Ali, but you were

cruel to fight this man when he was not ready. The next time you dishonor the

Amazons, I promise that you will burn in Tartarus."

Ali hung her head. "I am sorry, my Goddess. I promise that I will wait to fight

until he is ready."

Artemis nodded. "See that you do." She then vanished.

Artemis reappeared and turned to Xena. "There, Xena. I have seen to it that your

friend has a better chance."

The warrior princess nodded. "Thank you," she said quietly, then turned back to

watch Joxer complete the next test for Gabrielle.

Joxer slowly sat up when he thought he was able to and looked at the two Amazons

standing close by. "You hate me that much?" he asked.

Ali stooped down, fixing him with a chilling gaze. "Don't take it personally. I

hate all men. They are lazy and serve no real purpose."

Joxer shook his head. "I'm sorry if a man has hurt you, but I'm not that man,

and you shouldn't think that we are all worthless. Most of us are pretty nice

guys."

"Really?" Ali said scornfully. "And I suppose you're going to tell me that

you're one of the 'nice guys?'"

He smiled sheepishly at her. "Well, I'm not always nice, but I try to be. What

happened to you?"

Ali eyed him suspiciously. "They laughed at me. I like to sing but every time I

do, men laugh at me. I hate being laughed at."

He perked up at her words. "Really? You sing? I'd like to hear you."

She snorted. "So you can laugh at me too? I don't think so."

"I promise, Ali. I won't laugh."

Ali turned to her younger Amazon sister. "What do you think, Arose?"

Arose shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."

Ali stood and looked down at Joxer sternly. "Okay, I will sing. But if you

laugh, little man, test or no test, I will break your neck."

"Of course." he replied. "Is it okay if I accompany you? I've been told that I

can play the lute very well."

As if by magic, Arose produced a beautifully crafted lute and handed it to

Joxer. He began to tune it, smiling to himself when the strings rang true.

"Okay, Ali. I'm ready." he said. He began to move his fingers across the

strings, coaxing the intro from the instrument, and nodded when it was time for

Ali to join in the song.

"What in the name of the Amazon Nation is he doing?" Cyane asked incredulously

as she walked back inside the hut. "Does he really think that stalling for time

will save his life?"

Rhea looked at her queen. "He is using this time to rest and to understand Ali,

which is more than I can say for you."

Cyane stared at Rhea coldly. "When this is over, you are banished from this

tribe."

Rhea pulled herself up proudly, meeting her queen's gaze unflinchingly. "When

Joxer brings Gabrielle home, it may not be your decision to make."

At that, Cyane turned and stalked from the hut. She stooped outside the door,

trying to bring her temper under control. As queen, she knew that she had to be

there in that hut, but she hated the sight of Joxer, hated that he seemed to so

easily overcome each and every test. She bit back her anger and walked back

inside the hut to await Joxer's -- and her own -- fate.

When the song was finished, Ali waited for Joxer to laugh at her and was

surprised when he did not. Instead, he looked rather thoughtful. He pulled

himself up and looked over to her.

"You have a nice voice," he told her honestly. "You just aren't using it

correctly. You're trying to sing outside your range and you're breathing wrong

too."

"I don't understand what you mean," Ali said indignantly.

"You're singing high. Why don't you try singing low, from way down in your

belly?" he suggested.

"I always sing high," she said.

"That might be your problem, since not everyone can sing high. Here, let me show

you." He started to play the same song as before, but this time in a lower key.

"Go ahead and try singing it in this key."

Ali raised her voice to sing once again, and this time when the song was

finished, she was surprised when Arose jumped up and clapped enthusiastically.

"Oh, Ali, that was amazing! You can sing!"

The large Amazon began blushing furiously. "Thank you, Arose, and thank you,

little man." She stood up and offered him her hand. "I think we'd better go over

and retrieve your lady friend."

Joxer stared at her, amazed. "But what about our fight?"

Ali smiled down at him. "What about it? You would lose, of course, and

besides... You pass this test. You have shown me how to use my voice, and for

that, I am grateful."

She led Joxer to her boat and helped him cast off. He paddled to the other side

slowly, completely confused and exhausted, but filled with joy. He lifted

Gabrielle from where she sat on the log and carefully placed her into the boat.

When he finally reached the other side, Ali handed him a shiny green medal.

"You earned this, Mighty Warrior," she said quietly. "Be careful, but do not

lose your wisdom. It will get you through the next tests."

Joxer nodded at her, watching as Ali and Arose got into the boat and began to

float away on the river's current. He waved, then turned to Gabrielle. He took

her hand in his firmly and began to lead her down the forest path.

"Well, Gabby, that's three down... Seven to go!"

Joxer took Gabrielle's hand and started down the path. "Hey, wait up!" a voice

called behind him.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Arose running up the path. "Hey, I thought

I'd join you," she told him.

Joxer smiled. "Uh, thanks anyway, but you don't have to stay with me for the

other tests."

Arose grinned right back at him. "Nope! I'm coming with you and the Queen.

You'll definitely need my warrior skills."

Joxer rolled his eyes. "Oh, all right, you can come with us but you can't try to

help me with the tests. Okay?"

The young Amazon nodded. "Okay, I won't. Just hope you're smart enough for this

next one."

"What do you mean by that?" Joxer asked indignantly, then sighed and shook his

head. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

It seemed as if they had been walking for hours with Joxer holding tightly to

Gabrielle's hand. The terrain had changed so quickly that he had to spend extra

time making sure that she didn't trip over any stones or branches in the path,

as well as watching where he placed his own feet. Soon there was a break in the

forest and before them stood a large mountain of rock. Joxer quickly searched

for a way around, but the path led straight up the steep mountainside.

Joxer sighed. "Well, I guess we climb." He looked up, shading his eyes from the

stark red sun of the Amazon Underworld. "Jeez, I can't even see the top of this

thing. I guess this must be part of the next test."

Suddenly the rocks of the mountain began to quake and then took on the

appearance of a woman's face. "Oh, hello," the rock-woman said in a booming,

hollow voice. "You must be that dork I keep hearing about. I have to admit that

I'm surprised you got this far, though I know my test is the end of the line for

you."

Joxer sighed again, annoyed. "Look, I'm getting just a little bit tired of these

putdowns!" he snapped. "I've passed every last one of these tests so far. So all

I gotta say is this: bring it on, Mountain Lady!"

The mountain Amazon laughed. "Very well, Joxer the Mighty Dork. My test consists

of three riddles. Pass my test and I'll let you live to see the next one."

"Riddles?" Joxer asked, grinning widely. "I'm great with riddles! Go right on

ahead!"

"Not so fast, dork! You must give me a riddle first, not the other way around.

But remember, if you don't stump me, your life is forfeit."

Xena and Cyane watched this exchange from inside the ceremonial hut with worried

expressions on their faces. The Amazon turned to Xena with a frown. "Misty is

really good at riddles. Do you think that Joxer can stump her?"

Xena returned her gaze calmly, arching an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

Cyane dropped her head, biting her bottom lip. "I-I think I was wrong about

him," she murmured, much to Xena's surprise. "He deserves to be the one to bring

back Queen Gabrielle. He's a good man despite what happened."

Xena couldn't suppress a smile. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Maybe it's because now that I see him in the Amazon Underworld I'm seeing the

real man, not the man who brought shame to my village so long ago," the Amazon

replied slowly.

Xena nodded, reaching out to take Cyane's hand. She squeezed it firmly and gave

her a warm, hopeful smile. "This test is a hard one, but I know that Joxer will

try his best."

"Okay... Three riddles..." Joxer muttered to himself, nodding his head. He

turned to the mountain Amazon. "Do you want them all at once, or one at a time?"

The mountain shook a little with laughter. "I want one riddle each day, three

days in all. You may begin now. And remember, you must stump me."

"Okay, here goes," Joxer crossed his arms over his chest and smiled up at the

mountain. "What is something everyone needs? It can't be seen nor touched, yet

it can be captured and you can feel it."

Misty the mountain Amazon smiled down at Joxer. "Come back tomorrow and I'll

have your answer." Then the rocks shifted and the face vanished. It was just a

mountain once more.

Joxer stood there in place for one long moment in shock. He couldn't believe it!

After all these tests, after everything the Amazons of the Underworld had put

him through to win back his beloved Gabrielle, they'd make him wait for his

answer. They never waited for him, not even when he battled with Ali when he was

dead tired from his swim in the Neverending River. Artemis herself had to step

in to make sure that it was a fair test. Now he was even more exhausted, with

five more tests ahead of him to go. He had absolutely no intention of waiting

for this mountain woman to give her reply!

He walked up to the nearest boulder and began to pound on it with his fists in

frustration. "Wait a minute! Come back and give me your answer right now! This

isn't fair!" he yelled, and added a kick for good measure, wincing in pain as he

hopped up and down because he hurt his foot. "I think you're afraid to answer my

riddle right away because you're too dumb to know the right answer!"

At this the mountain began to quake violently, throwing Joxer and his two

companions off their feet. "Now you've done it!" Arose cried, staring at Joxer

with wide eyes. "What are you, nuts?"

"How dare you!" the booming voice of the mountain lady cried out, and the earth

shook at the sound of her voice. "Leave me now and you'll get your answer in the

morning!"

Joxer's face turned what Arose formerly thought of as an impossible shade of

crimson. "GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER NOW, YOU -- YOU BIG PHONY!"

Rocks and stones began to roll off the mountainside, pelting them mercilessly.

Joxer managed to climb to his feet and helped Arose get Gabrielle to the safety

of the forest before a large rock hit him square in the back and knocked him

over. He let out a muffled yell as another larger rock came down and pinned him

to the ground. Then the mountain stopped quaking, and Arose left Gabrielle at

the edge of the forest to run over to his side.

"Joxer!" she cried, taking his hand in hers. "Are you hurt?"

He laughed weakly. "I guess calling her a phony wasn't such a good idea."

"No, I guess it wasn't," Arose said, smiling in relief. "Can you move?"

Joxer shook his head. "No, I can't." He squirmed a little under the rock and

tried to pull himself from underneath, but discovered that he couldn't move an

inch. He discontinued his futile attempts to free himself and went pale at once,

looking about frantically.

"Arose, where is Gabrielle?! Is she all right?!"

"She's fine, Joxer. The mountain won't hurt her." Arose stood and tried to throw

her weight against the rock that had him pinned. "I wish that Ali were here. She

could move this rock with no trouble."

Joxer laid his head back and thought for a long moment. "We won't get this rock

off of me with strength, Arose. I think the only way to get out of this mess is

for me to apologize for being a jerk," he told the young Amazon.

"Um... err... mountain lady? Miss Amazon?" he called out sheepishly, wringing

his hands together anxiously. "I'm really very, very sorry that I called you

names. I know that it wasn't nice of me to do that, but I was just a little

upset that I had to wait. I thought that since you're so good at riddles, you'd

answer me right away."

The rock that pinned Joxer began to move, floating lightly off of his legs and

gently settling into the ground above ten feet away. Arose helped him sit up,

and she went to check if either of his legs had been broken when the rock

slammed into him. They were both relieved to find that he was bruised and

battered, but otherwise uninjured.

"Boy," he said with a sigh. "I guess she forgave me, then. I'm lucky that my leg

isn't broken after all that."

Arose nodded in agreement. "Your leg may not be broken here in the Amazon

Underworld, but I have a feeling that your leg in the real world has been."

Joxer thought about this. "Wow, I never thought of that." He walked over to

where Gabrielle stood at the edge of the forest and took her hand. "It'll be

worth it though when I get Gabrielle back. I'd walk on crutches for the rest of

my life if I could have her with me again," he sighed as he gazed into her

beautiful but expressionless eyes. "I wish it were morning."

"Why?" Arose asked. "Misty will get that riddle right, Joxer. It's so easy that

even I know the answer, and I'm terrible with riddles."

Joxer said nothing as he led Gabrielle back to the clearing. He went to gather

some leaves from the forest and soon made a soft bed for his beloved. He gently

helped her lay down, murmuring, "It's time to rest now, Gabby. In the morning

I'll face this mountain again."

Arose stared at him blankly. "Why did you do that? Gabrielle isn't there. She

can't hear you. She's not in that body."

Joxer sighed again and returned the young Amazon's gaze wearily. "I have to

protect her, Arose. Come on, let's get some sleep."

"I don't need sleep and neither does she," she replied.

Joxer shrugged, smiling. "I know that. I just figured that sleeping would help

the night go by faster."

Arose chuckled. "Joxer, the nights are short here." She pointed to the eastern

sky. "See? The sun's already coming up."

Joxer followed the direction she was pointing and saw that the sun was indeed

beginning to rise already. As soon as the sun's rays touched the mountainside,

it shook and the rocks shifted, revealing the woman's face once again.

"I have your answer, dork," the mountain said mockingly. "The answer to your

riddle is air."

"Told you it was too easy," Arose muttered sadly, kicking at a nearby pebble in

frustration.

Joxer's face broke out into a beautiful grin, and he walked up to the face of

the mountainside. "Air isn't the right answer," he said triumphantly.

The mountain woman stared at him. "What do you mean, not the right answer?

You've lost, Joxer the Not-So-Mighty!"

Joxer stood his ground firmly, unfazed. "Air seems to be the obvious answer, but

it's not the right one."

The mountainside trembled with anger. "I will prove to you that air is the right

answer. All I have to do is strike you down. Then we will all know who is right

and who is dead."

"And if I don't die?" Joxer challenged.

"Then--" the mountain Amazon paused, then scowled. "Then you are correct and

there is indeed another answer to your riddle."

"Then strike me down."

Arose grabbed him by the shoulders. "Are you nuts?"

He shook her off stubbornly. "No, I'm not nuts. I know I'm right and I'm not

afraid to prove it!"

Cyane turned to Xena. "He is nuts, you know."

Xena's lips curved up into the slightest smile. "He knows something that the

rest of us don't. Let's watch and see what happens."

The mountain Amazon's granite eyes began to glow and a beam of pure fiery light

shot down from them and hit Joxer in the chest full force. Arose turned away

with a cry. She could not bear to see the bumbling hero die in such a horrible

way. There was a gasp of disbelief from the mountain, and Arose turned back

around to find that Joxer was still standing there in front of the mountain,

untouched.

"You're alive!" Arose cried happily. "But how?"

The mountain Amazon stared openly in shock. "There is another answer to the

riddle. But... Air is the only one I can think of." She paused, then closed her

eyes briefly out of respect for the warrior wannabe. "You won this round, Joxer.

What is the true answer to your riddle?"

Joxer turned to where Gabrielle still lay on the bed he had made for her and

smiled warmly. "The answer is simple," he said, turning back to the mountain

Amazon and placing a single hand on his chest. "The answer is my heart. I know

it's there even if I can't see it. I need it to be alive. I can't touch it, but

I feel it when it's been broken as it has been many times in the past. But most

of all, when Gabrielle said she loved me, she captured it. My heart belongs to

no one but Gabrielle."

Arose felt tears in her eyes at his words, but she waited for the mountain

Amazon to speak first. "Very clever, Joxer," the mountain rumbled. "I am very

pleased. Now it is my turn. Are you ready?"

Joxer nodded briefly. "Yes, I am ready. Bring on your riddle."

"Very well, Joxer, but remember, it's a very hard riddle and one of my best. No

one has ever guessed correctly."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, stop bragging already and just give

me the darn riddle."

The mountain cleared her voice. "My riddle is this: What animal can jump higher

than a house?"

Joxer stared up into the stone face's eyes. "Is that it? That's your riddle?"

"What's the matter?" the mountain Amazon asked mockingly. "Can't the Mighty Dork

answer it?"

Joxer sat down on the ground, hard, placing his head in his hands and making a

strange, strangled noise. Arose approached him slowly, placing her hand upon his

shoulder gently. "It's okay, Joxer. Don't cry. I'll look after Queen Gabrielle

for you."

Joxer finally looked up at Arose and she saw that he was not crying, but

laughing hysterically. "I- hee hee! I know the answer!"

"Oh yeah?" the mountainside replied snidely. "Then tell me what you think it is,

o Dork."

"The answer is that all animals can jump higher than a house. Houses can't

jump."

The mountain Amazon suddenly began to laugh. "I like you, Joxer. You're really

good at riddles. I don't think we need to prove this with any more riddles. You

three may pass."

A purple medal appeared at the base of the mountain and when Joxer went to pick

it up, the mountainside simply vanished. He looked and saw that there were

fields of daisies spread out before them, as far as the eye could see. He bent

down to pick one for Gabrielle then stopped himself. He went and grabbed both

Arose and Gabrielle and began to lead them into the daisies.

"You know, Joxer... I think Queen Gabrielle was really smart when she chose

you," Arose told him thoughtfully.

"I am really beginning to like that dork," Cyane admitted grudgingly.

Xena hid a smile behind her hand as they watched the three continue their

journey in the Amazon Underworld.

They had been walking for several days, and Arose was beginning to feel very

restless. "Man, where's the next test? It's been days!" She kicked her feet at

several flowers in frustration. "Ugh! If I see another daisy, I'll scream!"

Joxer merely smiled. "I like daisies. They're Gabby's favorite flower."

"Well, whoopee for her," the young Amazon grumbled in frustration. "But I need

action! I thrive on it." She took out her sword and swung it around carelessly.

"Hey, watch where you swing that thing, okay?" Joxer cried out in alarm, pulling

Gabrielle out of the way just before the young Amazon would have cut her on the

arm. "Jeez, now I know how Xena and Gabrielle feel!"

Arose furrowed her brow at his words. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Joxer was thinking of a way to answer her when something flew past him. It had

happened so quickly that he wasn't sure if he had seen anything at all. Suddenly

an auburn-haired Amazon dressed in a short leather skirt and an ornately

decorated bronze breastplate appeared in front of him.

"Joxer the Mighty?" the Amazon asked.

Joxer nodded, momentarily dumbstruck.

"My name is Ariel," the Amazon said in a strong, friendly voice. She offered her

hand and Joxer took it in his own briefly. "Nice to meet you, Joxer. And you

are?" Her eyebrows rose as she turned her gaze to Arose.

Arose jumped a little in surprise. "Arose. My name is Arose. I am Joxer the

Mighty's loyal friend and traveling companion."

Ariel smiled. "I see." She turned to Joxer. "Are you ready for your next test,

Joxer?"

He straightened himself. "Yes, I am ready."

"Okay, then. You must compete in a foot race with me from where we stand now to

the top of that cliff."

"Okay," Joxer said. "That sounds easy enough."

Ariel held up a hand, cautioning him. "There is more to this test, Joxer. As we

race, you must gather three pomegranates that have been placed along the trail.

If you reach the summit without the fruit, you fail the test."

Joxer nodded again and turned to Arose with a smile. "I know now why you are

here. Please watch over Gabrielle for me."

Arose stood tall, then leaned in and softly kissed Joxer on the cheek. "I will

watch the Queen with my life. You just concentrate on winning that race, huh?"

Joxer blushed a little and grinned at the young Amazon. "I'm ready now," he

said, turning to Ariel.

Ariel drew a long line in the dirt with her toe and crouched at the line. Joxer

followed her example as Ariel turned to Arose. "You say when to go, sister."

Arose grinned. "On your mark... Get set... GO!"

Ariel took off in a blur of bronze, leaving Joxer spluttering in the dust. He

rubbed the sand from his face and took off as well.

Arose stood with Gabrielle at the starting line, wondering how she would ever

get her Queen to the summit, when a voice spoke out of thin air - Artemis.

"Arose, take Gabrielle's hand and I will take you both to the end of the race."

The young Amazon nodded, taking Gabrielle's hand. Before she could say, "Yes, my

Goddess," she found that they were both already at the end of the race, waiting

for their champion, Joxer.

Joxer was running as fast as he could, his breathing soon becoming rather

labored. He spotted the first pomegranate lying in the middle of the trail ahead

of him. He quickly reached down and scooped it into his arms without losing a

step. He placed it in his pocket and kept up his speed.

He realized that he could no longer see Ariel running ahead of him, but he knew

that he had to keep going for Gabrielle, Arose, and even for himself. He came to

a screeching halt when the trail ended in a run-down bridge at another river.

"Oh boy," he thought to himself. "This bridge doesn't look like it'd hold the

weight of a dog, let alone me!"

After a few minutes of looking around frantically for another way – any way, he

realized with a sinking heart that the bridge was the only other way across. He

really didn't feel like taking yet another swim. He then spotted the second

pomegranate sitting right in the middle of the bridge.

"Think, Joxer... If you try to cross that bridge, there's a good chance it'll

send you and the pomegranate into the water," he said to himself out loud,

looking down at the swiftly flowing river water at his feet. He gulped.

"There's gotta be another way to get that pomegranate. Think, Jox, think!"

He sighed, then slowly began to ease himself into the river water, tightly

holding onto the rope of the bridge. He moved slowly and carefully, soon losing

his footing on the ground as the water was rough and moved very quickly. Soon he

found himself right beneath where the pomegranate lay on the wooden planks and

took one hand off the rope to grab the fruit. The moment he had it in his hand,

a wave rose up and hit him full-force in the face.

He lost hold of the bridge and the unforgiving river pulled him downstream, the

waves pushing him into rocks and covering his head.

"Gabrielle!" he cried, still grasping onto the pomegranate tightly. He fought to

keep his head above the water, grasping at rocks with his free hand. He was so

tired, exhausted by his travels and the tests, and his hope began to leave him.

He was losing his fight against the river, and he knew it. He was pulled under

by the waves once again, the image of his beloved Gabrielle glowing underneath

his eyelids as his mouth and nose were filled by the icy cold river water.

Suddenly, Joxer felt himself being lifted and set down onto a warm, hard

surface. He coughed and retched up the foul-tasting river water, then lay down

again for a long moment. As soon as he felt he was able, he opened his eyes and

found himself staring up into the smiling face of the Amazon Ali.

"Hey, little man, I thought that you had already had enough of this river!" she

joked.

Joxer quickly sat up, coughing again. "The race!" he cried. "I've gotta finish

the race!" He patted his pockets, then looked around him frantically.

"Oh no, the pomegranates are gone!"

Ali grinned, then pulled two pomegranates out of her traveling pack. "Looking

for these?" she asked, holding them out to him.

He grabbed them quickly, holding them to his chest. "Thank you!" he breathed.

Ali rowed her boat to the edge of the river and pushed him out of it roughly.

"You'd better hurry, little man. Now run!"

Joxer thanked her again and took off through the woods. He soon stumbled onto

another trail that led him to the cliff. There on a large boulder next to the

main trail sat the third and final pomegranate. He scooped it up, putting all

three of the fruit back into his pockets, and started climbing the cliff's face.

He knew as he carefully picked his way up the cliff that Ariel had already

reached the finish line. There was no way that he could have ever beaten her,

but he had to at least finish the race. Joxer the Mighty was no quitter!

He was concentrating so hard on his climbing that he almost didn't hear the

voice weakly calling out to him. He stopped in surprise and heard the voice

again, "Please, please help me!"

He looked all around, then finally saw the Amazon, Ariel, hanging onto the cliff

face a little ways below him. She looked pale and tired, and he realized that

she was in some pain. Her foot seemed to be caught in the rocks, and it was all

she could do to keep hanging on.

Joxer gulped, looking up at the summit of the cliff where Arose stood looking

down at him, then back to Ariel. He knew he could win the race now, with Ariel

stuck on the cliff, but he also knew that he couldn't just leave her there when

she was in trouble. He shook his head, then rested his cheek against the cool,

rough rock for one long moment before beginning his descent towards the hurt

Amazon woman.

"I will get you out of here, Ariel," he told her. She just stared at him with

wide, scared green eyes. He patted her shoulder gently. "It's okay. Just trust

me."

She finally nodded at him, closing her eyes tightly as Joxer moved further down

the cliff to take a look at where her foot was stuck. Her ankle looked bruised

and swollen, but he didn't think that it was broken. She yelped as he carefully

took her heel and pulled it gently from under the rock ledge, but sighed in

relief as he massaged it to double-check for broken bones.

"I think it's just a bad sprain, but you shouldn't try and climb the rest of the

way by yourself." He pulled himself up beside her and looped his arm around her

waist. "Here, hold onto me tight and I'll take you up."

Ariel swallowed thickly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly. When he

was sure that she wasn't going to lose her hold, he started up the cliff face

slowly, taking them both to safety.

Cyane stared at the scene before her in awe. "He's the bravest man I've ever

seen – or the craziest. He's given up the race to save his competitor."

Xena nodded, smiling proudly. "Yes, I know."

When they reached the top, Arose grabbed onto Ariel and helped her over to a

nearby boulder. Joxer sat at the edge of the cliff, breathing heavily and

tiredly, happy to see Gabrielle and his young Amazon friend once again.

"You have passed the fifth test, Mighty Warrior," Ariel said from her place on

the boulder. "Come and collect your medal."

Joxer stared at her in shock. "B-But how? We both got here at the same time, and

I think I lost all the pomegranates."

Ariel smiled. "You came back and helped me to safety even though you knew that

you could've been victorious had you left me there. You are a true and loyal

Amazon warrior. I wish you luck on your next test."

Joxer climbed to his feet and walked to Ariel. He took the medal from her and

smiled. "Thank you."

She took his hand in a display of deep respect. "Queen Gabrielle has chosen

wisely," she told him softly.

Joxer blushed and waved her comment aside. "Thanks, Ariel." He then turned to

Arose and Gabrielle. "So... Are you two ready?"

Arose grinned, nodding. "I am, and I believe that Queen Gabrielle is, too."

TBC