Tory and Ali Screw with Lord of the Rings
Chapter 14:
Gollum was out of site. Where the hell has he gone? We were walking and calling his name. He lost us, or we lost him, whatever. Move your body up and down; make your booty touch the ground. I was singing Bootylicious to help my brain stay sane. You grab your girls, and you grab a couple more and you can all meet me in the middle of the floor, the air is thick smelling right so you pass to the left, and sail to the
"Hello mud face?" Sam screamed, to his right. Still trying to stay sane, and find Gollum.
"Try crap smelling ass." I muttered. I was starting to get really mad, where had he gone? But again, whatever.
~*~
We had decided to get some sleep. I think it was the best idea anyone had had yet. I took a seat on the ground and looked up into the misty, dark black sky. Then out of no where, I heard a cry. Almost like a cry of an animal, but far away. By this time, Gollum had come back and was jumping up and down. I looked at him for a moment, and then changed my focuses back to the sky. A large creature was forming in the great clouds of mist and steam. The creature was very large, with great out stretched wings. On top of this large animal was another creature that was dressed in pink. PINK? But wait, in the movie, that creature thing was black, ok, someone is messing with this story (apparently that would be me). As the winged creature came into focus, you could tell it was a great large dragon. You could also see that the thing sitting on it was wearing a hot pink shirt, and a black skirt. Ok, we get some black in there (Yeah!). The creature had high platform shoes on, and hair pulled back messy (almost like they were going to a big party in New York City (wait, we're no where near New York City. No fair, boohoo). It was wearing a whole ton of makeup, which made it look even worse than it would it the makeup was off. Its lips were bright, hot pink just like its shirt, but brighter. The eyes lids were covered in bright blue eye shadow. And worst of all, its nails were painted bright hot yellow. They shined in the dark, and almost make it seen like the sun had come out. Then I heard another cry, but this time it wasn't a cry. The creature was singing, I'm With You. It was making Avril seem like the best singer in the world. Wait, is that possible? Good, I didn't think so (sorry to you Avril fans, but as you can tell, I really don't like her songs. They play them so much on z100 that it gets really annoying. Almost as annoying as Tory bothering my to right chapter 14, grrrrrrrr.) I came back to the real world to see that Tory, Frodo, Sam and Gollum were all trying to fit under one tiny bush. Maybe if Sam wasn't so fat, then we could all fit under the bush (that includes me, lol) So, I got up and ran over to them, so the creature thing wouldn't see me. Well if I just stood there, they would never be able to see me because I'm all covered in mud (thanks Tory, and hobbits). The creature thing was coming closer, and closer to us. Frodo was moving his fingers closer and closer to each other.
"Mr. Frodo, no!" Sam screamed at the top of his lungs, and hit Frodo's hands. Frodo was just starting to come back to the real world again. "Oh Mr. Frodo are you ok?" Sam asked as he kissed Frodo on the check. A moment later, they were both making out in front of us (us as in- Tory and Me)
~*~
I need to make this clear to all you Elijah Wood fans. Tory and I have been getting lots of reviews saying that Elijah Wood isn't gay. So we are going to make this really clear to you. Elijah Wood = straight Frodo Baggins = 100% gay Thank you, now back to the story ~*~
~*~
"Oh, please!" I screamed as I ran out from under the bush thing. "That is more then enough. I'm leaving!" I jumped up off the ground, and started walking. I heard someone come up to me and grab my shirt.
"You can't leave remember, we can't leave. I really don't want to be stuck in Middle Earth, and never get anywhere. Never mind. You can't leave, and that's that." Tory whispered in my ear. I didn't turn to look at her. I think I was really planning to walk away. I'm not sure what I was thinking.
"Alright, but if I'm staying we are leaving right now." I said, turning to look at her. "I can't stand another minute in this hell hole. It stinks so badly."
"Ok, I'll tell them we need to go right now." Tory said as she turned around to inform the madly gay hobbits. I took one last look at them, before I turned away again. They were still mackin' away. Gross.
"Sam, hold on. What Tory?" Frodo said pushing Sam away from him.
"Ali wants to leave right away. So get up and start walking." Tory told the helpless, hopeless, pathetic hobbits.
~*~
To take up time, I thought of a song:
I stink
You stink
Cause we're in the dead marshes.
I stink
You stink
Cause we have no access to water
I stink
You stink
Because our leader is Gollum
I stink
You stink
Because we were throwing gunk at each other
I stink
You stink
Because we just do!
It's not the best song in the world; I think it could do at a time like this. Ok, let's skip the walking part of this story.
~*~
"Mordor here we come!" Frodo screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Thank you captain obvious." I said, still in a bad mood, well not a bad mood. Just grossed out because Frodo and Sam were making out. Ok, it's not a happy sight to see hobbits kissing. Anyway, they were kissing wrong. I would go into detail, but it's so wrong.
"What?" Frodo said confused.
"Never mind." I said.
"Hey look, there's the black gate." Sam said as he pointed.
~*~
It's either this story is wrong, or the book is wrong. For was stood in front of us was defiantly not black. More like the brightest yellow you have every seen in your life. The gate had paintings of huge flowers everywhere. It was like a great big fairy tale of Sam's coming to life. The creature on top of the wall look like the creature we had seen earlier that day. The only difference was that there was a huge flower painted on there shirts. The gate slowly started to open with grace and beauty. I look to my left to see Sam almost faint in Frodo's arms. There was an army of creature walking toward the gate. They wear dressed in light blue and bright pink shoes. At the sight of this, Sam decided to jump off the cliff that we were standing on. He wanted to go down there and meet them (and get killed, not doubt about that). At the sight of seeing his love jump off a cliff, Frodo jumped too. I saw them jump off and looked at Tory.
"What the hell." I said with a smile on my face. Tory was looking at me like I was crazy. "I want some adventure." I said, and jumped off the cliff after Frodo and Sam.
Chapter 14:
Gollum was out of site. Where the hell has he gone? We were walking and calling his name. He lost us, or we lost him, whatever. Move your body up and down; make your booty touch the ground. I was singing Bootylicious to help my brain stay sane. You grab your girls, and you grab a couple more and you can all meet me in the middle of the floor, the air is thick smelling right so you pass to the left, and sail to the
"Hello mud face?" Sam screamed, to his right. Still trying to stay sane, and find Gollum.
"Try crap smelling ass." I muttered. I was starting to get really mad, where had he gone? But again, whatever.
~*~
We had decided to get some sleep. I think it was the best idea anyone had had yet. I took a seat on the ground and looked up into the misty, dark black sky. Then out of no where, I heard a cry. Almost like a cry of an animal, but far away. By this time, Gollum had come back and was jumping up and down. I looked at him for a moment, and then changed my focuses back to the sky. A large creature was forming in the great clouds of mist and steam. The creature was very large, with great out stretched wings. On top of this large animal was another creature that was dressed in pink. PINK? But wait, in the movie, that creature thing was black, ok, someone is messing with this story (apparently that would be me). As the winged creature came into focus, you could tell it was a great large dragon. You could also see that the thing sitting on it was wearing a hot pink shirt, and a black skirt. Ok, we get some black in there (Yeah!). The creature had high platform shoes on, and hair pulled back messy (almost like they were going to a big party in New York City (wait, we're no where near New York City. No fair, boohoo). It was wearing a whole ton of makeup, which made it look even worse than it would it the makeup was off. Its lips were bright, hot pink just like its shirt, but brighter. The eyes lids were covered in bright blue eye shadow. And worst of all, its nails were painted bright hot yellow. They shined in the dark, and almost make it seen like the sun had come out. Then I heard another cry, but this time it wasn't a cry. The creature was singing, I'm With You. It was making Avril seem like the best singer in the world. Wait, is that possible? Good, I didn't think so (sorry to you Avril fans, but as you can tell, I really don't like her songs. They play them so much on z100 that it gets really annoying. Almost as annoying as Tory bothering my to right chapter 14, grrrrrrrr.) I came back to the real world to see that Tory, Frodo, Sam and Gollum were all trying to fit under one tiny bush. Maybe if Sam wasn't so fat, then we could all fit under the bush (that includes me, lol) So, I got up and ran over to them, so the creature thing wouldn't see me. Well if I just stood there, they would never be able to see me because I'm all covered in mud (thanks Tory, and hobbits). The creature thing was coming closer, and closer to us. Frodo was moving his fingers closer and closer to each other.
"Mr. Frodo, no!" Sam screamed at the top of his lungs, and hit Frodo's hands. Frodo was just starting to come back to the real world again. "Oh Mr. Frodo are you ok?" Sam asked as he kissed Frodo on the check. A moment later, they were both making out in front of us (us as in- Tory and Me)
~*~
I need to make this clear to all you Elijah Wood fans. Tory and I have been getting lots of reviews saying that Elijah Wood isn't gay. So we are going to make this really clear to you. Elijah Wood = straight Frodo Baggins = 100% gay Thank you, now back to the story ~*~
~*~
"Oh, please!" I screamed as I ran out from under the bush thing. "That is more then enough. I'm leaving!" I jumped up off the ground, and started walking. I heard someone come up to me and grab my shirt.
"You can't leave remember, we can't leave. I really don't want to be stuck in Middle Earth, and never get anywhere. Never mind. You can't leave, and that's that." Tory whispered in my ear. I didn't turn to look at her. I think I was really planning to walk away. I'm not sure what I was thinking.
"Alright, but if I'm staying we are leaving right now." I said, turning to look at her. "I can't stand another minute in this hell hole. It stinks so badly."
"Ok, I'll tell them we need to go right now." Tory said as she turned around to inform the madly gay hobbits. I took one last look at them, before I turned away again. They were still mackin' away. Gross.
"Sam, hold on. What Tory?" Frodo said pushing Sam away from him.
"Ali wants to leave right away. So get up and start walking." Tory told the helpless, hopeless, pathetic hobbits.
~*~
To take up time, I thought of a song:
I stink
You stink
Cause we're in the dead marshes.
I stink
You stink
Cause we have no access to water
I stink
You stink
Because our leader is Gollum
I stink
You stink
Because we were throwing gunk at each other
I stink
You stink
Because we just do!
It's not the best song in the world; I think it could do at a time like this. Ok, let's skip the walking part of this story.
~*~
"Mordor here we come!" Frodo screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Thank you captain obvious." I said, still in a bad mood, well not a bad mood. Just grossed out because Frodo and Sam were making out. Ok, it's not a happy sight to see hobbits kissing. Anyway, they were kissing wrong. I would go into detail, but it's so wrong.
"What?" Frodo said confused.
"Never mind." I said.
"Hey look, there's the black gate." Sam said as he pointed.
~*~
It's either this story is wrong, or the book is wrong. For was stood in front of us was defiantly not black. More like the brightest yellow you have every seen in your life. The gate had paintings of huge flowers everywhere. It was like a great big fairy tale of Sam's coming to life. The creature on top of the wall look like the creature we had seen earlier that day. The only difference was that there was a huge flower painted on there shirts. The gate slowly started to open with grace and beauty. I look to my left to see Sam almost faint in Frodo's arms. There was an army of creature walking toward the gate. They wear dressed in light blue and bright pink shoes. At the sight of this, Sam decided to jump off the cliff that we were standing on. He wanted to go down there and meet them (and get killed, not doubt about that). At the sight of seeing his love jump off a cliff, Frodo jumped too. I saw them jump off and looked at Tory.
"What the hell." I said with a smile on my face. Tory was looking at me like I was crazy. "I want some adventure." I said, and jumped off the cliff after Frodo and Sam.