S- Hello and welcome to Star Chat! My name's Steven and I'm the Host. Hopefully we'll have a normal show today because I tied up the staff, barred everyone who wasn't the guest, and hired Clone Troopers as Security Guards. Okay, today we have the most notorious bounty hunter ever, Boba Fett!
BF- Hello
S- Hi. So Boba, why were you running away from Vader a few weeks ago?
BF- That wasn't me, it was a Clone Trooper pretending to be me.
S- Ah. So you're a clone too right?
BF- Yeah of Jengo Fett, my father.
S- Did you know him?
BF- Yes, until I was about ten, then a Jedi killed him.
S- I see, so what's the deal with Han Solo?
BF- He was just cargo, then he tried to kill me by knocking me into the Sarlacc. Now I'm going to kill him.
S-How did you get out?
BF- There were these two loser stormtroopers who were hanging onto a pole about half way down. I grabbed on and was able to get my jetpack working again. By the time I got out though the battle was over.
S- At least you got out.
BF- True
S- So, what do you look like under your helmet?
BF- Like Jengo Fett.
S- Can we see?
BF- No
S-Please?
BF- No!
S- Pretty please whit sugar on top?
BF- NO!!!
S- Fine, be that way!
BF- You're not going to see what I look li…
(loud crash is heard offstage and a security guard can be heard yelling)
SG- STOP HIM!!! DON'T LET HIM THROUGH!!!
(Han Solo rushes onstage with a blaster in hand)
HS- Hey Fett! You can't kill me if I kill you first!
(Han puts the blaster under Fetts helmet and fires.)
BF- ouch!
(Boba's body goes limp)
HS- I did it, I Did It!! I KILLED BOBA FETT!!!
(Clone troopers run onstage wearing Mandalorian armor identical to Boba's)
HS- BOBA FETT?!? But I just killed you!
SG(confused)- Uh… No you didn't.
HS- But you're…
(Han turns to see that Fett's body is gone)
HS(disbelieving)- I killed you
(more Clones run onstage)
HS- BOBA FETT?!? But… no… too many Fetts… DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Starts shooting at anyone in a helmet, including a Boba fan in the audience)
S- GO TO COMMERCIAL! NOW!!! why can't I have a normal show?
( cuts to commercial. When the show comes bank on Han is in a straightjacket rocking back and forth)
HS- too many Boba's, too many Fetts, too many, I killed him, he doesn't die, too many!
S- Sorry about that folks, he needs professional help. Anyone see where Boba went? Anyway, we're out time; see ya next time on Star Chat! why can't I have a normal show? why?
BF- Hello
S- Hi. So Boba, why were you running away from Vader a few weeks ago?
BF- That wasn't me, it was a Clone Trooper pretending to be me.
S- Ah. So you're a clone too right?
BF- Yeah of Jengo Fett, my father.
S- Did you know him?
BF- Yes, until I was about ten, then a Jedi killed him.
S- I see, so what's the deal with Han Solo?
BF- He was just cargo, then he tried to kill me by knocking me into the Sarlacc. Now I'm going to kill him.
S-How did you get out?
BF- There were these two loser stormtroopers who were hanging onto a pole about half way down. I grabbed on and was able to get my jetpack working again. By the time I got out though the battle was over.
S- At least you got out.
BF- True
S- So, what do you look like under your helmet?
BF- Like Jengo Fett.
S- Can we see?
BF- No
S-Please?
BF- No!
S- Pretty please whit sugar on top?
BF- NO!!!
S- Fine, be that way!
BF- You're not going to see what I look li…
(loud crash is heard offstage and a security guard can be heard yelling)
SG- STOP HIM!!! DON'T LET HIM THROUGH!!!
(Han Solo rushes onstage with a blaster in hand)
HS- Hey Fett! You can't kill me if I kill you first!
(Han puts the blaster under Fetts helmet and fires.)
BF- ouch!
(Boba's body goes limp)
HS- I did it, I Did It!! I KILLED BOBA FETT!!!
(Clone troopers run onstage wearing Mandalorian armor identical to Boba's)
HS- BOBA FETT?!? But I just killed you!
SG(confused)- Uh… No you didn't.
HS- But you're…
(Han turns to see that Fett's body is gone)
HS(disbelieving)- I killed you
(more Clones run onstage)
HS- BOBA FETT?!? But… no… too many Fetts… DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Starts shooting at anyone in a helmet, including a Boba fan in the audience)
S- GO TO COMMERCIAL! NOW!!! why can't I have a normal show?
( cuts to commercial. When the show comes bank on Han is in a straightjacket rocking back and forth)
HS- too many Boba's, too many Fetts, too many, I killed him, he doesn't die, too many!
S- Sorry about that folks, he needs professional help. Anyone see where Boba went? Anyway, we're out time; see ya next time on Star Chat! why can't I have a normal show? why?