Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, only their silly new
personalities.
To the reviewers:
Krystyn: Maybe it will..keep looking for new chaps to find out!
Nickole: Thx for review! I'm glad you like it! This chapter is better though.
That's the fun thing about writing a short-chap parody like this one: more than one update in a day!
This chapter is dedicated to my friend Krystyn (KrystynAngelOfLight). I hope you like it!
*Chapter 3: In The Golden Hall*
"I cannot allow you before Theoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhelm, by order of.Grima Wormtongue" the guard informed the four travelers.
"Ah" said Gandalf, removing his sword and handing it over to the guards, gesturing for the others to do the same. Gimli and Legolas both surrendered their arms as well.
Aragorn, with deep regret, unhooked his sword and carefully handed it to the guard. "You do NOT open that." he commanded.
"But sire," the guard said, looking at the sheath in awe. "Surely this is Narsil, the blade that was broken. Reforged by Elrond of Rivendell it was. Please, sire, may I just have a peek. Just a tiny lit.."
"NO!" screamed Aragorn.
"Just a little, teensy-weensy one? Please???" the guard asked, puckering his lips.
"YOU DO AND I WILL PERSONALLY BEHEAD YOU WITH IT!"
"Actually, I really don't need to see it. No, I'm fine, sorry, just daydreaming.."
Meanwhile, Gandalf had talked the other guard into keeping his staff. He winked at Aragorn as he turned from screaming. Aragorn puzzled over this as he entered the Golden Hall. What did he mean by that? Surely he didn't mean to say that guy will look?? No, he can't have, but still.so coincidently he winked.there will be SERIOUS PUNISHMENT if he does. That's it, I can't stand it anymore, I have to go check on him.
As fighting broke out in the hall, Aragorn slipped though a doorway. Halfway down the stairs, he collided with a girl. She had long blond hair and was running towards the commotion above. She looked at him fleetingly before running up the rest of the stairs.
He slammed into the door and charged into a soldiers bunk. There he found two soldiers with Anduril in their hands, laughing their heads off. Aragorn charged into the two, grabbing their helmets and slamming theme together. Too busy laughing to react in time, the two men fell unconscious. Without a word, Aragorn slid Anduril back into its sheath and ran back upstairs.
"Gandalf!"
He burst into the King's Hall. Gandalf was watching Theoden the King of Rohan draw his sword. "You're right Gandalf," Theoden said. "My fingers do feel stronger." He put down the sword and approached one of his guards not hurt during the fight.
"Sit down!" he told the guard, taking his own place at a table. "I have to see something. Arm wrestle me, now!"
"Come on, Gandalf," Aragorn dragged the Wizard away as he tried to bet the next guard shift with Gimli that Theoden would be defeated. He pulled Gandalf all the way downstairs and into the room with the now-unconscious men.
"Well?" said Gandalf, frowning. He looked at the men, then turned in shock to Aragorn. "They died of laughter too!"
"No, they're alive. Now wipe their memories."
"What?"
"Wipe their memories! Get a..a..wizarding soap or something! Rub it on their head and erase their memory."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because?"
"Yes, because!"
"Because what?"
"Because!"
"Yes, but because of what?"
"Stop questioning the wanna-be King of Gondor and just wipe their memories!"
Gandalf drew from his pocket a white handkerchief. "Bilbo gave this to me," he said. "Never asked if he used it or not."
The wizard whispered several words to the handkerchief and rubbed it over the guards foreheads. They woke up almost immediately, and resumed laughing?
"Darn! It didn't work!" shouted Aragorn.
"What's so funny?" Gandalf asked them.
A loud humming covered the men's responses as Aragorn stuffed his fingers in his ears and began a tune with all his might. Over the din, however, the men's reply could be made out.
"I don't really remember."
Aragorn stopped humming abruptly. "You don't remember?"
"No! Something was hilarious, so I was laughing, then all of a sudden I got knocked out and when I came to....nothing!"
"That's a relief!" shouted Aragorn
"What is?" Gandalf and the two men asked.
"Um..um..nothing! I meant, that, it's a relief you woke up! Um, let's go join the others!"
*They return to the Golden Hall, where a celebration is underway in honor of King Theoden's recovery*
"So Pip," Merry was saying. "What did you mean back in Moria, when you said you liked the song 'Mary had a little lamb.'"
"Oh, I've always liked it. Reminds me of you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, the name, for one. I mean, Mary..Merry...very similar, don't you think!"
"What!" said Merry incredulously.
"And two, the lamb. I mean, I always follow you around, so I'm somewhat like the lamb! They sort of agree, don't they?"
"I can't believe you!" shouted Merry.
"Now calm down, there's no need to get upset!"
"Oh, I'm not upset...I'm BEYOND upset! I am not a girl!"
"Well, no, you're not! I was just saying that you remind me of her!"
"Ok, that's it!" Merry lunged for Pippin across the table.
"Play nice, you two!" said Aragorn, sitting down to join them. "You're acting like wolves! I thought Hobbits were supposed to be more like shepards and lambs....What the!"
Merry dove for Aragorn, knocking him to the floor. Aragorn quickly got up, angry for the attack. Reflexively (although he didn't want to hurt Merry) he reached for Anduril. As his hand touched the blade, song filled the hall.
Why not Take a crazy chance Why not..
Aragorn let go of the sword as if he were burned by it.
"What did you say?" asked Merry, still prone.
"N..nothing," said Aragorn quickly.
"I thought I heard you say something" said Theoden from his table.
"I said..er.."
"I heard you!" said Pippin. "You said 'take a crazy chance'!"
"Um, no, I mean..yes, I did! Take a chance and..um..ride for Helm's Deep, yeah!"
"We will, Aragorn. We shall ride for Helm's Deep!" said Theoden, rising and addressing those present. "We shall ride soon. We must wait, however."
"Why wait, o King?" asked Gandalf.
"Because! I need time to pack!" Theoden said.
To the reviewers:
Krystyn: Maybe it will..keep looking for new chaps to find out!
Nickole: Thx for review! I'm glad you like it! This chapter is better though.
That's the fun thing about writing a short-chap parody like this one: more than one update in a day!
This chapter is dedicated to my friend Krystyn (KrystynAngelOfLight). I hope you like it!
*Chapter 3: In The Golden Hall*
"I cannot allow you before Theoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhelm, by order of.Grima Wormtongue" the guard informed the four travelers.
"Ah" said Gandalf, removing his sword and handing it over to the guards, gesturing for the others to do the same. Gimli and Legolas both surrendered their arms as well.
Aragorn, with deep regret, unhooked his sword and carefully handed it to the guard. "You do NOT open that." he commanded.
"But sire," the guard said, looking at the sheath in awe. "Surely this is Narsil, the blade that was broken. Reforged by Elrond of Rivendell it was. Please, sire, may I just have a peek. Just a tiny lit.."
"NO!" screamed Aragorn.
"Just a little, teensy-weensy one? Please???" the guard asked, puckering his lips.
"YOU DO AND I WILL PERSONALLY BEHEAD YOU WITH IT!"
"Actually, I really don't need to see it. No, I'm fine, sorry, just daydreaming.."
Meanwhile, Gandalf had talked the other guard into keeping his staff. He winked at Aragorn as he turned from screaming. Aragorn puzzled over this as he entered the Golden Hall. What did he mean by that? Surely he didn't mean to say that guy will look?? No, he can't have, but still.so coincidently he winked.there will be SERIOUS PUNISHMENT if he does. That's it, I can't stand it anymore, I have to go check on him.
As fighting broke out in the hall, Aragorn slipped though a doorway. Halfway down the stairs, he collided with a girl. She had long blond hair and was running towards the commotion above. She looked at him fleetingly before running up the rest of the stairs.
He slammed into the door and charged into a soldiers bunk. There he found two soldiers with Anduril in their hands, laughing their heads off. Aragorn charged into the two, grabbing their helmets and slamming theme together. Too busy laughing to react in time, the two men fell unconscious. Without a word, Aragorn slid Anduril back into its sheath and ran back upstairs.
"Gandalf!"
He burst into the King's Hall. Gandalf was watching Theoden the King of Rohan draw his sword. "You're right Gandalf," Theoden said. "My fingers do feel stronger." He put down the sword and approached one of his guards not hurt during the fight.
"Sit down!" he told the guard, taking his own place at a table. "I have to see something. Arm wrestle me, now!"
"Come on, Gandalf," Aragorn dragged the Wizard away as he tried to bet the next guard shift with Gimli that Theoden would be defeated. He pulled Gandalf all the way downstairs and into the room with the now-unconscious men.
"Well?" said Gandalf, frowning. He looked at the men, then turned in shock to Aragorn. "They died of laughter too!"
"No, they're alive. Now wipe their memories."
"What?"
"Wipe their memories! Get a..a..wizarding soap or something! Rub it on their head and erase their memory."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because?"
"Yes, because!"
"Because what?"
"Because!"
"Yes, but because of what?"
"Stop questioning the wanna-be King of Gondor and just wipe their memories!"
Gandalf drew from his pocket a white handkerchief. "Bilbo gave this to me," he said. "Never asked if he used it or not."
The wizard whispered several words to the handkerchief and rubbed it over the guards foreheads. They woke up almost immediately, and resumed laughing?
"Darn! It didn't work!" shouted Aragorn.
"What's so funny?" Gandalf asked them.
A loud humming covered the men's responses as Aragorn stuffed his fingers in his ears and began a tune with all his might. Over the din, however, the men's reply could be made out.
"I don't really remember."
Aragorn stopped humming abruptly. "You don't remember?"
"No! Something was hilarious, so I was laughing, then all of a sudden I got knocked out and when I came to....nothing!"
"That's a relief!" shouted Aragorn
"What is?" Gandalf and the two men asked.
"Um..um..nothing! I meant, that, it's a relief you woke up! Um, let's go join the others!"
*They return to the Golden Hall, where a celebration is underway in honor of King Theoden's recovery*
"So Pip," Merry was saying. "What did you mean back in Moria, when you said you liked the song 'Mary had a little lamb.'"
"Oh, I've always liked it. Reminds me of you."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, the name, for one. I mean, Mary..Merry...very similar, don't you think!"
"What!" said Merry incredulously.
"And two, the lamb. I mean, I always follow you around, so I'm somewhat like the lamb! They sort of agree, don't they?"
"I can't believe you!" shouted Merry.
"Now calm down, there's no need to get upset!"
"Oh, I'm not upset...I'm BEYOND upset! I am not a girl!"
"Well, no, you're not! I was just saying that you remind me of her!"
"Ok, that's it!" Merry lunged for Pippin across the table.
"Play nice, you two!" said Aragorn, sitting down to join them. "You're acting like wolves! I thought Hobbits were supposed to be more like shepards and lambs....What the!"
Merry dove for Aragorn, knocking him to the floor. Aragorn quickly got up, angry for the attack. Reflexively (although he didn't want to hurt Merry) he reached for Anduril. As his hand touched the blade, song filled the hall.
Why not Take a crazy chance Why not..
Aragorn let go of the sword as if he were burned by it.
"What did you say?" asked Merry, still prone.
"N..nothing," said Aragorn quickly.
"I thought I heard you say something" said Theoden from his table.
"I said..er.."
"I heard you!" said Pippin. "You said 'take a crazy chance'!"
"Um, no, I mean..yes, I did! Take a chance and..um..ride for Helm's Deep, yeah!"
"We will, Aragorn. We shall ride for Helm's Deep!" said Theoden, rising and addressing those present. "We shall ride soon. We must wait, however."
"Why wait, o King?" asked Gandalf.
"Because! I need time to pack!" Theoden said.